Already in Progress #37: Why Would Anybody Think That?


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Already in Progress #37: Why Would Anybody Think That?

  1. 1. Welcome back to Already in Progress! It’s been a while, hasn’tit? We should be good now, though.Incidentally, Mifune made a cameo appearance in one of myother stories, and one of my readers said that she would besurprised if he turned out to be at least bi. Well, he isn’t, and Ican’t imagine how anyone could think that, can you? I mean,just look at him!Oh. Right.Well, anyway, let’s not waste any more time with gossip. Let’srejoin our story instead – it’s Already in Progress…
  2. 2. Abbey came over to Sarah Jane’s for a rousing day of playingMah-Jongg and Get To Know The Future Daughter-In-Law.Tim also shared his potty-training stories, but out of respect forDescartes, they will not be repeated.
  3. 3. DESCARTES: Ahoy there, ye saucy wench! (kisses Abbey onthe cheek) I like your new perfume.ABBEY: That’s the pot roast you’re smelling.DESCARTES: Mmmm… Eau d’Pot Roast. Love it. How muchlonger are you here?ABBEY: I’m going to have to leave soon to catch my train.DESCARTES: Aw, don’t leave. Stay here with me. (kissesAbbey’s hand)ABBEY: But I have to. It’s the last train.DESCARTES: So stay the night. We have plenty of room.(begins kissing up Abbey’s arm)ABBEY: Oooooh… (pulling herself together) No, I couldn’t.Not before we’re married, with your parents and everything…DESCARTES: So let’s get married right now. I’m a ship’scaptain – I can perform the ceremony myself.
  4. 4. And thus Descartes Littledragon became Descartes Tsvirkunov.Because the only thing better than one name that nobody canpronounce or spell is two names that nobody can pronounce orspell, that’s why.
  5. 5. With such a low-key wedding, it’s no surprise that everyoneturned to their own projects again pretty quickly. There’s SarahJane, making Best Friend #13. There’s Tim, finishing up thatlast Mechanical point – only six more skills to max out. There’sDescartes, getting that Body point he needs to be promoted.
  6. 6. And there’s Abbey, working on her own special project.ABBEY: (truly disgusting retching noises)Okay, so it’s a joint project between her and Descartes really.
  7. 7. DESCARTES: Hey, Abbes. You feeling okay?ABBEY: Not really…DESCARTES: Is there anything I can do?ABBEY: No. It’ll go away on its own. In about eight months.(dives for the toilet again)DESCARTES: Oh, snap! We’re pregnant?ABBEY: Uh-huuuurkDESCARTES: Awesome! (sings) We’re having a BA-by! Mybaby and me!
  8. 8. CALVIN: So, Matthias, what questions can I help you with?MATTHIAS: Well, why did Hobbes give me my skin back?Why did he take Ty in exchange? What did I do wrong? Whydoes he hate me so much? What does he want from me? Howcan I make him happy again? If I ask for Ty back, what will hetake away in exchange for that? How am I supposed to figureany of this out? What do I need to do to not fell like thisanymore?
  9. 9. CALVIN: Matthias, why did you join the Brotherhood?MATTHIAS: Oh, I was born to it. My father was a member.And so was his father. I never even thought about it.CALVIN: Perhaps you should have. Tell me, Matthias: what’sin your Want panel right now?MATTHIAS (taken aback): My Want panel? Um… Adopt aKitten, Relative gets Engaged, Play With Dante, Play WithCharlotte. Dante and Charlotte are my kids.
  10. 10. CALVIN: Nothing about Meet Aliens?MATTHIAS: Nope.CALVIN: Gain a Skill Point?MATTHIAS: Nope.CALVIN: Earn a Badge? See a Wolf? Resurrect So-and-so?Become a Vampire?MATTHIAS: Nope, nope, nope, and nope.
  11. 11. CALVIN: Matthias… This may be difficult, but… I think thatperhaps, er, “Hobbes” wants you to give up this life and toenjoy your family with however many years are left to you.MATTHIAS: Really? You don’t think he’ll be mad?CALVIN: Is spending more time with your family somethingyou would like?MATTHIAS (eagerly): I’d love it!CALVIN: Then I don’t think “Hobbes” would be mad at all.
  12. 12. And so Matt leaves the Brotherhood to move in with hisdaughter. You will see more of them, never fear, but we’ll leavethe Brotherhood alone until such time as someone else maychoose to join.
  13. 13. Mifune’s business has been hemorrhaging money, apparently,even though I send everyone there to buy their clothing. As faras I can tell, the game registers the deduction of salaries when aSim visits the lot, but does not register the addition of incomefrom goods purchased. I sent Mifune back to the store, but thegame didn’t magically give him all the monies earned when heshowed up. Yet another programming marvel brought to you byEAxis.
  14. 14. Venus the dog decided to make friends with a skunk.Venus is something of a Doofus.
  15. 15. I think we can all figure out how well that went. Having yourdog sprayed by a skunk is not fun at the best of times, but thiswas especially bad timing.
  16. 16. A dog that smells of skunk is not exactly what you want at yourwedding.Of course, there were other problems. Such as the bride’smother wearing the exact same dress as the other bride, one ofthe guests showing up in her wedding dress, and the pregnantguest who went home halfway through the ceremony to pee –never mind that there are three bathrooms in the house.
  17. 17. Not to mention the sister (and her fiancé) who couldn’t bebothered to watch the ceremony at all.
  18. 18. But despite the hitches, Charlie and Louise got married, andeveryone was pretty happy about it. Whether they watched theceremony or not.Louise Sanders is now Louise Miller.
  19. 19. Eileen and Mifune are probably the youngest natural parentsI’ve ever had at a wedding, but they rectified that after theguests had gone home.Mifune was quite ticked off because he did not Grow Up inGilsCarbo.But speaking of young parents…
  20. 20. Following several obnoxious haunting incidents, Harkon andNirel decided to move Perry and Amy-the-elder’s graves to thegraveyard. The family visits regularly.
  21. 21. Everyone has been rolling the Wants to Get a Kitten and Get aKitten/Puppy with monotonous regularity, autonomouslyperma-locking them in place of more interesting and moreuseful Wants. After a truly frightening experience with the PetAdoption Service – thank goodness for quit-without-saving! –they took a trip to the pet shelter and acquired two unfixed cats.Jack Rackham is the calico and Figaro is the Japanese bobtail.Yes, “Jack Rackham” is a male name, but virtually all calicocats are female. And as it happens, I saw a very funny skitinvolving well-known pirate Calico Jack Rackham immediatelybefore adopting the cats.
  22. 22. The cats get along quite well and were able to start on kittensalmost immediately.This may have been a mistake.
  23. 23. You see, Samantha and Dante just got married. WhileSamantha Littledragon becoming Samantha Miller is a happything, I’m afraid that the kittens mean that there won’t be roomfor a baby.
  24. 24. But I seem to be the only one worried about that. It was a roof-raiser of a party.
  25. 25. The kind of party that exhausts young sisters-in-law long beforethe guests go home.
  26. 26. The kind of party, in fact, where you have to throw out peopleyou’re not even sure you invited. Or, in Don’s case, thank themfor coming and ask them politely to leave.Don is too Nice for his own good sometimes.
  27. 27. NIREL: Our daughter’s getting married, Harkon.HARKON: I know. It makes you feel old, doesn’t it?NIREL: It does. How did we get to be old men with a marrieddaughter already?HARKON: And another daughter just about old enough to startdating.NIREL: (half groans, half laughs) Oh, don’t remind me! Whatdo you say – one more?HARKON: I don’t know if I can handle another. Not withkittens on the way, and probably a grandchild. Can we talkabout it in the morning?NIREL: Of course. Hey, I can think of something to make younot feel so old…And speaking of cats…
  28. 28. Trixie and Tirtha have a new cat. I suppose the cat istechnically more Trixie’s than Tirtha’s, since she’s the one whomade friends with and adopted former stray Eika, but Tirthadoes her share of cleaning the litter box and playing cat teaser.In fact, I had a whole sequence planned around the cat, sincenothing interesting had happened, when on the next to last dayof the rotation…
  29. 29. Abhijeet Phillips autonomously asked Tirtha on an Outing.TIRTHA: Oh my Esme, Trixie! Abhijeet just called and askedme on an outing! What do I do?TRIXIE: Did you say you’d go?TIRTHA: Yes.TRIXIE: Then you call the taxi and go. It’s not rocket science.TIRTHA: But shouldn’t I get all dressed up? Do my faceproperly? Lose ten pounds?TRIXIE: Are you crazy? How many other people will begoing?TIRTHA: I don’t know. He said that he and some friends weregoing down to Benevolent Grounds and did I want to come too?TRIXIE: Then you call the taxi and go. Don’t make this harderthan it has to be.
  30. 30. It was a pleasant outing. Tirtha met a number of nice people,and had an interesting conversation with Abhijeet about his pastlives.TIRTHA: Really? You were hung by your ankles over a pit ofravenous crocodiles?ABHIJEET: And angry piranhas, yup. Completely ruined myhair. (reflectively) That may have been the worst part, actually.Being eaten by the crocodiles and piranhas was actuallysomething of a relief after that. Anyway, I kind of deserved it.So you said you like flowers?
  31. 31. TIRTHA (V.O.): He gave me flowers.TRIXIE (V.O.): That’s kind of carrying coals to Newcastle,isn’t it?TIRTHA (V.O.): But what does it mean?TRIXIE (V.O.): That he’s not very bright? I mean, why elsewould someone give flowers to an amateur florist?TIRTHA (V.O.): No, but read the card!TRIXIE (V.O.): “I should hang out with you more often!Yesterday was really fun, so I brought you this. Let’s go outagain soon!” (thoughtfully) “Let’s go out again soon!” He wantsto date you.TIRTHA (V.O.): He does not!TRIXIE (V.O.): Yuh-huh. (sings teasingly) Tirtha’s got aboyfriend! Tirtha’s got a boyfriend!
  32. 32. Trixie and Tirtha are both friends with Abhijeet at this point,and so the very next night Trixie invited him over for dinner.TIRTHA: Wait, Trixie – where are you going?TRIXIE: Out.TIRTHA: But Abhijeet’s here! Didn’t you invite him?TRIXIE: Yeah. And now I’m giving you two time alone. Is thata problem?ABHIJEET: It’s not a problem for me, Trixie. I don’t mindspending the evening with Tirtha – if it’s okay with her, ofcourse.TIRTHA: Well, I –TRIXIE: Good, that’s settled. Abhijeet, when I get back, therebetter have been some kissing, okay?
  33. 33. Trixie’s night out had mixed results. She had a good time andmet interesting people. On the other hand, she didn’t meet asingle dead person, redheaded or otherwise.
  34. 34. On the other other hand, she did meet someone with aninteresting proposition…LEONID ANDREWS: Excuse me, please. You are lady whospeaks Alien?TRIXIE: Yes, I speak Alien. Why?LEONID ANDREWS: Because I am wantink to learn Alien.Do you give lessons?TRIXIE: I hadn’t thought of it before, but yeah, I could givelessons.LEONID ANDREWS: Ah, good! Here – I am givink you myphone number. You will call me and tell me how much youcharge, da?
  35. 35. Her other objective seemed to have been a bust as well.TRIXIE: So was there any kissing?TIRTHA (huffily): No. We had a very nice dinner is all. And Ireally don’t see how it’s any of your business anyway.TRIXIE: Tsk tsk tsk. Abhijeet, I expected better from you.TIRTHA: I’m sorry about that.ABHIJEET: No need to apologize. I had a very nice time inspite of your roommate. It’s always pleasant to spend time withyou.TIRTHA: I like spending time with you, too. Maybe we couldget together again and you could tell me more about your pastlives?TRIXIE (calls from the kitchen): Less talking, more kissing!
  36. 36. TRIXIE: That’s more like it.
  37. 37. Over at the Couderc household, Sally is showing off her Nicepoints.SALLY (V.O.): I just wanted to look at the butterflies. I didn’twant to keep them forever.You’re talking to me?SALLY (V.O.): Uh-huh. why wouldn’t I?I don’t know. Other people who can talk to me don’t.SALLY (V.O.): Well, then, they’re just mean.So how’s it been going, Sally?
  38. 38. SALLY (V.O.) (enthusiastically): Oh, it’s going great! I made anew friend. I knew we were going to be friends because she hasthe same hairstyle as me.That’s often a good indicator.SALLY (V.O.): Uh-huh. We had a lot of fun.
  39. 39. SALLY (V.O.): Oh! I made friends with Rudy. I like to talk toRudy, but sometimes I have trouble.Limited vocabulary?
  40. 40. SALLY (V.O.): No, Mommy likes to talk to him too. She talksto him all the time. She says it’s for work, but I don’tunderstand how it can be.She probably needs a Charisma point or two.SALLY (V.O.): What’s a Charisma point?It’s a… um, you know, I’m not actually sure? But if you talk toRudy long enough, you’ll get one.SALLY (V.O.): Oh, okay.
  41. 41. SALLY (V.O.): And I’ve been doing really well in school‘cause Uncle Cillian helped me with my homework.That was nice of him.SALLY (V.O.): I wanted Oliver to help me, but he’s in college.And Uncle Cillian says I’m like the daughter he never had.Why didn’t he have a daughter?Er, what has he said about that?SALLY (V.O.): He always changes the subject. I said he couldhave a baby with the telescope like Daddy did with me, but hesays he’s too old for that.
  42. 42. SALLY (V.O.): I don’t think he was too old before, but he isnow. He and Daddy Grew Up at the same time. And both ofthem in the bathroom. Mommy was in there too, and me.That must have been crowded.SALLY (V.O.): It was. And I had to pee, but there were toomany people in there. So I had to go pee upstairs instead.Thank goodness you have two bathrooms, huh?SALLY (V.O.): Yup. Two bathrooms are the best. (yawns) Ihave to go take a nap now. I’ll talk to you later, though, okay?Okay. Sleep well, Sally.
  43. 43. And finally, we have a new addition to the official Already inProgress family!I’m sure you saw these two briefly in the college chapter, evenif you haven’t read either of their home stories. Since I couldn’tdecide whose home story to choose for them, I decided thatthey would fit in here quite nicely. Please make them feelwelcome.
  44. 44. Buttercup Shankel is from Ruth’s (un)Officially WackyBoolprop Challenge, and was named after a character in aGilbert & Sullivan opera. That character sold small items thatmade life more pleasant and had a big secret or two. ThisButtercup sells, ahem, “party supplies,” so we can probablyagree that she’s following in the original’s footsteps.
  45. 45. Albert (Adams) Shankel is from Everybody Loves Bertie, myPolyamory Project Challenge. His father is the eponymous part-alien rock star Bertram McClellan, and the distinguishedgentleman in the foreground is Bertie’s husband Corey. Bertie’slong-term girlfriend and Albert’s mother, Vanessa, refused tocome to the wedding, since she is currently ticked off at bothBertie and Corey.This type of drama is precisely why Albert chose to become aconservative, monogamous CPA specializing in taxes.
  46. 46. BUTTERCUP (warily): You’re not going to try to shove cakeat me, are you?ALBERT: Of course not. Feeding you cake is symbolic of myintention to take care of you. What kind of message would I besending if I shoved cake in your face?BUTTERCUP: One that would probably lead to divorce.ALBERT: Or annulment. Open wide.It was a Roof-Raiser of a party, with everyone having afantastic time. But I’m sure the newlyweds would say that thebest part came after the party was over.
  47. 47. BUTTERCUP: Well, that was a great party. Too bad I didn’tget to meet your mom…ALBERT: Oh, it’s probably better this way. If she’s in one ofher moods again, she’d have probably demanded to see yourlatest WTD workup results.BUTTERCUP: My what?ALBERT: Your latest woohoo transmitted disease workup.We’re each supposed to get one of those before every woohoo,you know.BUTTERCUP: Are we now?ALBERT: Uh-huh. (nuzzles Buttercup’s neck) And we’resupposed to use at least two different kinds of protection everysingle time.BUTTERCUP: Oh. Should I go get…?ALBERT: Nah.
  48. 48. Perhaps they really should have gone to get…BUTTERCUP: Whoa! Albert, honey? Are there any taxadvantages to having a baby?ALBERT: Unh. (yawns) Long ’s it’s born ’fore New Year’s.The surprise is not humorously exaggerated in this case. Asidefrom a fast-dropping Energy bar, Buttercup had no symptoms. Iwas beginning to think I’d hallucinated the lullaby.But since I apparently didn’t hallucinate anything, this isprobably as good a place as any to end this chapter. I’ll see younext time, but until then: Happy Simming!