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Listening skills for supervisors participant guide 2018

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Listening is a foundation skill for supervisors. This is the participant guide for the Listening Skills for Supervisors course at Williams College.

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Listening skills for supervisors participant guide 2018

  1. 1. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 September, 2018 krt4@williams.edu 413-597-3542 Manager, Learning and Development Office of Human Resources Presented by Kevin R. Thomas Supervisory Training Series Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Introductions Listening Skills for Supervisors page 1
  2. 2. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1) Program Overview 2) Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. Structure of the Program 2. Structure of Each Module 3. Ground Rules Program Overview Listening Skills for Supervisors page 2
  3. 3. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Communication & Self-Management Supervising Individuals Supervising Teams Supervising at Williams • Listening Skills • Giving Effective Feedback • Delegating Skills • Diversity & Inclusion • Hiring & Onboarding • Leaves, Absences & Accommodations • Performance Development • Dealing with Performance Problems • Developing Employees • Building Effective Teams • Resolving Conflict • Professional Ethics Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Structure of Each Module Program Overview Skills Practice or Case Study discussion Overview: “Least you need to know” Who to call Materials to add to binder Course web page with all materials Pre-work questions Listening Skills for Supervisors page 3
  4. 4. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Confidentiality • Participation • Listening • Judgement free zone Ground Rules Program Overview Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1) Program Overview 2) Listening Skills Listening Skills for Supervisors page 4
  5. 5. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Why is listening important for supervisors? Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Listening Skills for Supervisors page 5
  6. 6. Why is Listening Important for Supervisors? -NOTES- Listening Skills for Supervisors page 6
  7. 7. What Behaviors Indicate Good Listening? -NOTES- Listening Skills for Supervisors page 7
  8. 8. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 What behaviors indicate good listening? Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Listening Skills for Supervisors page 8
  9. 9. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Listening Skills for Supervisors page 9
  10. 10. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Privacy • Freedom from Distractions • Time Limit • Setting Ground Rules The Listening Container Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Confidentiality • “I” statements • No name calling or pejorative language • No interruptions • Volume and gestures moderate • Time outs Setting Ground Rules Listening Skills Listening Container Listening Skills for Supervisors page 10
  11. 11. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Echoing words or phrases • Verbal cues that you are listening “Oh?”, “Mm hmm”, “Right.” etc. • “Is there more about that?” • Silence Minimal Encouragements Listening Skills The Listening Stance Listening Skills for Supervisors page 11
  12. 12. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • It’s a surrender of control • It involves inhibition: o of what we want to say o of what we think is right o of what is most interesting to us Why Listening is Difficult Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 “You know how advice is. You only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.” — John Steinbeck Listening Skills for Supervisors page 12
  13. 13. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Minimal Encouragements– your turn • Pair up. This will be your partner for the whole class. • Each person think about a real problem you are facing that you can talk about easily with a stranger. • For the first round, choose who will be the speaker and who will be the listener. • Speakers, talk about your problem for 2 minutes. Listeners, use only minimal encouragements. • Switch roles. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Listening Skills for Supervisors page 13
  14. 14. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Questions that encourage the speaker to explore the whole landscape of the topic. • Cannot be answered “yes” or “no” • Beware of advice posing as a question: “Have you considered doing x?” • Examples of open-ended questions on next page. Open Ended Questions Listening Skills The Listening Stance Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Open-ended questions – your turn • Speakers, talk about your problem for 3 minutes. Listeners, use minimal encouragements and open-ended questions. • Switch roles. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 14
  15. 15. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 15
  16. 16. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Statements that summarize what the person has said. • Helps the other person know you are hearing them. • Follow with “Have I got that right?” Mirroring Statements Listening Skills The Listening Stance Listening Skills for Supervisors page 16
  17. 17. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Watch the video and underline the mirroring statements that you hear. Mirroring statements: examples Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Listening Skills for Supervisors page 17
  18. 18. Mirroring Statements in Action Mirroring statements are statements that summarize and distill what the listener has heard from the speaker. They help to ensure understanding and provide the speaker with a sense of validation. Underline the mirroring statements as you see them in the video. [Tatiana] So, that was a colossal waste of two hours in the meeting, and do you want to know what happened? Ask me what the vote was, ask me what -- - [Brenda] Okay, what was the vote? [Tatiana] Five for the decision, and 15 against the decision. I don't know what we're going to do, I don't know what's going to happen. – [Brenda] Okay, wait a minute, do you think we're going to need to act on this later, or should I just sort of take all of this in. – [Tatiana] Act? We'll probably go jump off a cliff, because now -- - [Brenda] Come on... – [Tatiana] Yes, we have to start from scratch. – [Brenda] Tell me more, I'm gonna listen, go. – [Tatiana] Okay, so you knew that we had prepared them, they had all the information, and they told us that they were for this vote. So now, 15 of them vote against it. We have to start from scratch. I don't know... [Brenda] What do you think happened? [Tatiana] Bad communication. I don't know, how could they not have known about this? And how could they be so influenced against it? So what do we tell the staff? We have to start the entire strategic process from the beginning. That's what I know. – [Brenda] Oh my goodness, so you're freaked out that the vote went so differently than you expected it to, and mainly you're worried about how to move forward -- - [Tatiana] Yeah, I was blind-sided and now I feel like I'm paralyzed. How are we gonna move forward, and how will we communicate this to the staff? What are we supposed to do? [Brenda] Yeah, so the communication to them is going to be -- - [Tatiana] I don't know, I don't know, two hours in there, so back and forth, back and -- - [Brenda] What a waste of your time. – [Tatiana] I don't know what to do. – [Brenda] I don't either. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 18
  19. 19. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Mirroring statements – your turn • Same partner • Speakers, talk about your problem for 4 minutes. Listeners, use minimal encouragements, open-ended questions, and mirroring statements. • Switch roles. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 1. The Listening Container 2. Listening Behaviors – Minimal encouragements – Open-ended questions – Mirroring statements – Empathy questions Listening Skills Listening Skills for Supervisors page 19
  20. 20. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Empathy questions Listening Skills The Listening Stance • Sharing your guess about what the speaker may be feeling: “Based on what I’m hearing, I’m guessing you’re really angry about this.” • Demonstrates concern and respect for the person’s feelings. • Follow with: “Am I right about that?” • Don’t be afraid to ask “How are you feeling?” • With sincerity, validate feelings: “That makes sense to me.” Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 • Postive feelings arise when are needs are fulfilled • Negative feelings arise when needs are not fulfilled • Listeners can help speakers identify their needs and the associated emotions The Link Between Emotions and Needs Listening Skills for Supervisors page 20
  21. 21. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 21
  22. 22. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Empathy Questions– your turn • Same partner • Speakers, talk about your problem for 4 minutes. Listeners, use minimal encouragements, open-ended questions, mirroring statements, and empathic questions. • Switch roles. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Listening Skills in Action • Journalists use listening skills in public settings where they can be studied • Follow along in the transcript of an excerpt from the podcast “Reply All” • What listening skills were used? Listening Skills for Supervisors page 22
  23. 23. Listening Skills In Action ALEX: This is Alex. PJ: And PJ. SUSAN BRACKNEY: Oh my god! No way. PJ: Way. ALEX: Yep, it's — SUSAN: Am I really talking to you guys? ALEX: It's really happening. Who are we talking to? SUSAN: Oh, right. Well, this is Susan. ALEX: Hi, Susan. SUSAN: Uh, Brackney from Bloomington, Indiana. And, uh, home of - home of Indiana University and really crappy winter weather. PJ: (laughs) SUSAN: Um, 2016 was easily the worst year of my life. ALEX: Oh. SUSAN: And I am ready for 2017. ALEX: And — SUSAN: Um, and you wanted to know what I'm excited or looking forward to? ALEX AND PJ: Yes! Listening Skills for Supervisors page 23
  24. 24. SUSAN: Uh ... so. How to say this. Uh, I have three dear, uh, friends who have a soap company. Um, they're - they're, each of them are Muslim- Americans and I'm kinda scared for them in this age of Trump and all that. PJ: Yeah. SUSAN: Uh, and I'm doing my very best to help them. And one of the things that we have just started to do and will have a hard launch in 2017 is, um, DesignMySoap.com. It is the world's first and only online soapmaking studio and — ALEX: I like this! SUSAN: — you can — ALEX: So you get to choose the ingredients and stuff? SUSAN: You choose the ingredients and the thing is that they've invented this special way of making soap that not even, like, Procter & Gamble knows how to do. PJ: What's the special way of making soap? SUSAN: Oh, it's a little bit a secret, but I'll tell you they call it "The Volcano Method." ALEX: Ooooh. PJ: We usually charge people money to do ads on the show, but this feels good to me. This feels OK. ALEX: Yeah, I'm into it. PJ: I'm very happy to support this volcanic secret soap technology. ALEX: It sounds really intense. "The Volcano Method." Listening Skills for Supervisors page 24
  25. 25. SUSAN: It's awesome! Uh, and these guys, they just broke the mold. It makes me cry when I think about ... I'm just very proud to know them. PJ: How do you know them? SUSAN: Um, my parents are customers of theirs, and they were always buying their soap and giving me their soap, uh, to kinda cheer me up. Uh, 'cause like I said, I had a really bad year. PJ: Why was your year so bad? SUSAN: Um, I got a divorce. PJ: Oh, I'm sorry. ALEX: Sorry. SUSAN: And I, uh, found myself living in a 133-square-foot Airstream trailer. ALEX: Ooh. SUSAN: And I have rheumatoid arthritis. (laughs) So. PJ: Oh, I — SUSAN: Those things all happened in the same year. And those things are not designed for winter-time, let me tell you. PJ: Ohhhhh no. ALEX: Yeah. PJ: That is a - that is a bad year. That is, like, a year to box up and put away. How come you're so proud of these, um, soap guys? Like, what - what about them makes you so proud? SUSAN: Well, they are, like, they've been at this for four years. They have this one soap for poison ivy and they actually — one of them got poison ivy on Listening Skills for Supervisors page 25
  26. 26. purpose to — PJ: (laughing) SUSAN: — test their soap. ALEX: Wow! SUSAN: To make sure it works. Like, they don't want to put out shit. And they - they only want to put out the best stuff and — and their profit margin is terrible and they're barely getting by. And I just — I love 'em. I just want them to be OK. PJ: Hm. And are they, like, it is, like, when — I feel this way sometimes when you hang out with people who love a thing — is it, like, all they'll talk about is soap all the time forever? SUSAN: All the goddamn time! ALEX AND PJ: (laugh) PJ: And — SUSAN: All they talk about! PJ: What is soap talk like? SUSAN: Ugh! Well, like, they'll - they'll argue about which base is better, how to make something sudsier, Anthony made one called "Anthony's Spice," and he's, like, really super-proud of it. ALEX: Um, I'm curious — I feel like i- a lot of people, if they'd had such a bad year, they would probably just be like, "All I want is for better things to happen for me next year." But all you want is (laughs) is for better things to happen to your friends with the soap company next year! SUSAN: Pretty much. I love - I love coming here — I'm in their little factory right now — and it smells so good, just being in here makes me feel better. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 26
  27. 27. With all these smells and they're just such nice people. They're like the opposite of the person I was with for the last ten years. It was a very abusive relationship and these guys have, like — they bought me a little heater for my trailer and they - one of them made me an eye doctor appointment today 'cause he knows I really need to get my eyes looked at and ... they just been looking out for me and they're just the sweetest people ever. It just makes me want to cry. I just want them to be OK. PJ: Ugh. I'm glad you found a good place. SUSAN: So, anyway. PJ: Yeah. But anyway, people should go design their own soaps. SUSAN: Yeah. Just DesignMySoap.com. PJ: Mmkay. ALEX: Alright, thanks so much for calling. SUSAN: Thank you! And, um, that is all. Bye. Listening Skills for Supervisors page 27
  28. 28. 1-1�1?. -IA1 GREAT LISTENffl.S ACTUALLY 1)0--1 ti, '"' ''"'" """·· -r cv %.E� • , I • jA " - --.., ' '- - r-i7 ASK QUESTIONS THAT (:t':) :::;.,, P�OMOTE DISCOVER.'( � V O.l'd. IN.Sl�Hi � ? I I Ci> "i)� 1v,10 WAY "DIA..o[;( 0 { , , :tJE. ¢=:J �COt-151Rle, ----------------- r:,i INTERACTIONS '-V"' THAT BUILD SE.LF ESTEEM � CREATE A SAFE G�c0TO OPENLY DISCUSS ISSUES/ DIFFERENCES r;ii1 A -co:oP-ERATIVE ______ �CONVER.SATION rEEDBAcK fLOW$ �N G,2,eOl�ec.110/lj CHALLEl'IGE/ DISAGREE WITHOUT MAKIN4 OTltE� PER.SON DEFE:NSIVE ------------------ fb:lMAKE '-.::y SUQQESTIONS SKILLFULL'( � THAT 01'1:N UP , 1 ALTERNATIVI: '----' l,J PAfttS ��::. � Sketchnote by: Tanmay Vora I @tnvora I QAsplre.com THA, ABSORB$ ...,I/ BUT �� �-� A lRAMPOLINE 5 i . 10 BOUNCE: I t>EAS OfFl .t-'-!t.L� of LISTENtNG ....- .., ""-CRE.ATE A SAFE .t.;I'ENVIRONMENT To blSCUSS I -o- rt>CLtAR AWA'( CIISlRACTIONS , AND MAl<E E'(E CONTACT f -o- t":.UNl>EltSTAND THE SUBSTANCl: L¥ASK G!UESTIONS, i CONFIRM I -o­o �oe.sef(VE Nol-l·VE.Re.AL CLUE� ; � 801/. OF COMMUNICATION I I -o- �UND£:RS1'At-JD l:t,110TIONS ck Lf/FEELIN�� Ae.our TOPIC I � EMPATHIZE ! -o- � HELP OTHER !'ERSDN TO , SE.E 1ssu1: tN J:>IFFE.�NT : LIGHT Listening Skills for Supervisors page 28
  29. 29. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 “Anything that’s human is mentionable. And what’s mentionable is much more manageable.” — Fred Rogers Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542 Links coming via email: Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542 or email kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu Supervisory Training Series Communication & Self-Management Questions? • Course page link to all course materials • Program evaluation link, feedback welcome Listening Skills for Supervisors page 29

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