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Preparing our Kids for Success: Where
is your Focus?
Mark E. Crawford, Ph.D.
What’s happening at this age?
 About to move into puberty (can start as early as 9 or as
late as 14)
 Hormones start aff...
One size does NOT fit all…
No two are exactly alike…
Factors that affect a child’s
development:
Nature
 Temperament (hard-wired)
 Physical characteristics
 Information pro...
Begin with the end in mind (Covey)
 What one word would you hope
best describes your child by the
time he/she begins coll...
What makes people happy?
 Enjoy everyday pleasures
 Gratitude
 Have goals they are working toward
 Value experiences o...
Research on character
 “Character traits are three times more likely to
predict a high school student’s future success
th...
Character strengths
 Wisdom and Knowledge(creativity, curiosity,
judgment, love of learning, perspective)
 Courage (brav...
 Temperance (forgiveness, humility, prudence,
self-regulation)
 Transcendence (appreciation of beauty and
excellence, gr...
Successful parenting involves:
 Tolerating “messiness”
 Not taking everything personally (either failures OR
successes)
...
Most effective parenting styles (according
to research on teens):
Permissive…Authoritative…Authoritarian
Authoritative Parents:
1) Thoughtful Control
Permissive…Thoughtful Control…Excessive Control
(Involved without hovering)
2...
The Three R’s
RESPECT
RESPONSIBILITY
RISK
PRIVILEGES
Technology…
 Media content
(Journal of Pediatrics 2011: Coyne, et. al.)
 Limits for media in general? (AAP suggests 2 hr...
Confront your Demons:
 Can you accept your child’s imperfections, mistakes, shortcomings, failures, etc.?
 Do you need y...
Other issues….
 Role modeling
 Sleep (establish good habits early!)
 Down time
 Family time
 ENJOY now….don’t get too...
QUESTIONS?
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Dr. Mark Crawford Woodward North (Oct 2016)

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Preparing your Kids for Success; Where is Your Focus

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Dr. Mark Crawford Woodward North (Oct 2016)

  1. 1. Preparing our Kids for Success: Where is your Focus? Mark E. Crawford, Ph.D.
  2. 2. What’s happening at this age?  About to move into puberty (can start as early as 9 or as late as 14)  Hormones start affecting emotions, thinking, and behavior  Brain about to undergo a major change  Kids starting to gravitate toward peers  Kids become more self-aware and self-conscious  Kids start developing more independence  Kids start developing their own identities
  3. 3. One size does NOT fit all…
  4. 4. No two are exactly alike…
  5. 5. Factors that affect a child’s development: Nature  Temperament (hard-wired)  Physical characteristics  Information processing Nurture  Temperament of parent  Family structure  Birth order  “life circumstances”
  6. 6. Begin with the end in mind (Covey)  What one word would you hope best describes your child by the time he/she begins college?
  7. 7. What makes people happy?  Enjoy everyday pleasures  Gratitude  Have goals they are working toward  Value experiences over things
  8. 8. Research on character  “Character traits are three times more likely to predict a high school student’s future success than any combination of scores including GPA, IQ, SAT/ACT scores, or class rank.” - Paul Tough (2012)
  9. 9. Character strengths  Wisdom and Knowledge(creativity, curiosity, judgment, love of learning, perspective)  Courage (bravery, perseverance, honesty, zest)  Humanity (love, kindness, social intelligence)  Justice (teamwork, fairness, leadership)
  10. 10.  Temperance (forgiveness, humility, prudence, self-regulation)  Transcendence (appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality)
  11. 11. Successful parenting involves:  Tolerating “messiness”  Not taking everything personally (either failures OR successes)  Accepting imperfections  Keeping a long-term perspective
  12. 12. Most effective parenting styles (according to research on teens): Permissive…Authoritative…Authoritarian
  13. 13. Authoritative Parents: 1) Thoughtful Control Permissive…Thoughtful Control…Excessive Control (Involved without hovering) 2) High Warmth Cold/Disengaged…WARM…Enmeshed (Compassion, but not symbiosis) 3) Effective Communication Communication…..Effective……………..Unbounded Cutoff Communication Talk Kastner & Wyatt (2009)
  14. 14. The Three R’s RESPECT RESPONSIBILITY RISK PRIVILEGES
  15. 15. Technology…  Media content (Journal of Pediatrics 2011: Coyne, et. al.)  Limits for media in general? (AAP suggests 2 hr/day limit for all electronic media)  Cell phones?? (American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications suggests wait at least until 11 or 12 years of age)  Teach clear rules, limits and etiquette for all electronic media use (don’t be afraid to restrict or monitor!!)
  16. 16. Confront your Demons:  Can you accept your child’s imperfections, mistakes, shortcomings, failures, etc.?  Do you need your child to achieve in order to feel good about yourself?  Can you receive and accept negative feedback about your child?  Do you compare your child to others his/her age and get anxious if they are “behind?”  What is your greatest fear for your child?  What is your idealized vision for your child?  What is your most painful memory as a child?  What “unfinished business” do you have with your parent(s)?  Assess your own strengths and weaknesses as a parent…
  17. 17. Other issues….  Role modeling  Sleep (establish good habits early!)  Down time  Family time  ENJOY now….don’t get too far in the future.
  18. 18. QUESTIONS?

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