Break Up With FEAR and Realize Your Potential


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This was delivered to Nichols College student leaders in September of 2009. It was designed to inspire those present to not let FEAR dictate their decision making process anymore and to take control of their lives!

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Break Up With FEAR and Realize Your Potential

  1. 1. “ Break Up with FEAR, and Realize your Potential! Presented by: Ed Cabellon Chief Visionary Officer - LTE Consulting September 29, 2009 – Nichols College
  2. 2. Welcome Nichols College Leaders! <ul><li>Introduction: Who is Ed Cabellon? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Born and bred in New England (grew up in RI, lived in MA, NH, and CT as well) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>BA Communication from Stonehill College, 1997 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>MS Educational Leadership from CCSU, 2000 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Worked at Tufts University in Student Activities </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Currently, Director of the Rondileau Campus Center, BSC </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Chief Visionary Officer of LTE Consulting (started in 2006) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Huge Social Media Presence on: </li></ul></ul>
  3. 3. Who are all of you? <ul><li>What type of student are you? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Morning or Night person </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Text messages or Email </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Facebook or Twitter </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Procrastinator or Planner </li></ul></ul>
  4. 4. Overview / Learning Outcomes <ul><li>Learning What FEAR Really Is In Your Life </li></ul><ul><li>How to “break up” with FEAR </li></ul><ul><li>Action Plan to Achieve Your Goals and Stay Motivated </li></ul>“ You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do .” - Eleanor Roosevelt
  5. 5. Conquering FEAR = Defining FEAR <ul><li>There are many acronyms for “FEAR”: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Face Everything And Recover </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Forget Everything And Run </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Failure Expected And Received </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>My favorite FEAR acronym is: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“ False Evidence Appearing Real” </li></ul></ul>
  6. 6. Defining FEAR <ul><li>According to “”, “FEAR” is defined as: </li></ul><ul><li>1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. </li></ul><ul><li>2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights. </li></ul><ul><li>3. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety. </li></ul><ul><li>Knowing the difference between “healthy” and “unhealthy” Fears is key! </li></ul><ul><ul><li>An example of a healthy fear is drinking before driving, because you know the possible consequences. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>An example of unhealthy fear is not drinking at all because you’ve grown up that alcohol, itself, its bad. </li></ul></ul>
  7. 7. FEAR Factor Equation <ul><li>FEAR - (Possible Consequences) + (Best Outcomes) </li></ul><ul><li>ACTION </li></ul><ul><li>Let’s take an example of a common FEAR that most people have: “Asking someone out” (REJECTION) </li></ul><ul><li>Possible Consequences: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>They say “not interested” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>They laugh and say “not interested” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>You get rejected </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Best Outcomes: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>They say “YES” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>ACTION = “Ask that person out!” </li></ul><ul><li>Why do we allow FEAR to hold us back? </li></ul><ul><li>What’s the worst that could happen? </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>What would you do, if FEAR was removed from the picture? </li></ul>
  9. 9. Small Group Breakout <ul><li>Please break up into groups of no more than 10 </li></ul><ul><li>Take sheet of paper and markers and answer these questions: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ What would you do if you removed FEAR from the picture?” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“ Insecurity comes from: _____________________” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>What answers did your group come up with? </li></ul><ul><li>How did you feel about removing FEAR? </li></ul>Comfort Challenge: Pair up and “Eye Gaze”
  10. 11. BREAKING UP WITH FEAR <ul><li>Now that we’ve defined FEAR, how do we rid ourselves of it, once and for ALL?!? </li></ul><ul><li>Step 1: Uncover FEAR disguised as Optimism </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, ‘Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything’, and the optimist who says, ‘Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.’ Either way, nothing happens. – Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Life won’t improve on it’s own. Be real with yourself, do you really think it will improve on its own or is it wishful thinking and an excuse for inaction ? </li></ul></ul>“ I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” – Mark Twain
  11. 12. BREAKING UP WITH FEAR <ul><li>Step 2: Instead of “What do you Want?” ask “What Would Excite Me?” </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Unfortunately, most people will never know what they want. The question itself is ambiguous and needs clarity. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The 2 nd gets at the heart of what will bring you happiness, not just for today, but for a long time. “What Makes Me Happy” is no longer a good enough question to break yourself of FEAR. </li></ul></ul>“ I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks
  12. 13. BREAKING UP WITH FEAR <ul><li>Step 3: Realize That Doing the Unrealistic is Easier Than Doing the Realistic! </li></ul><ul><ul><li>This is easier than it seems, and all it takes is believing you can do it. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Have you ever heard of the term, “lonely at the top?” Why? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>99% of the world are convinced that they are incapable of achieving great things, so what do they do? They all aim to be the best “mediocre” they can be. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The levels of competition are FIERCE for what is considered, “Realistic”, pardoxically making them the most energy and time-consuming. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Ex: It’s easier to raise $10,000,000.00 than it is $1,000,000; It’s easier to pick up the one “perfect 10” in a bar, than it is to pick up five different “8’s”. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Do NOT overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think you are! </li></ul></ul>“ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson
  13. 14. TAKING ACTION <ul><li>Take a handout, and answer the following questions for yourself: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Name ONE Fear you want to work on this year. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Define the absolute worst thing that could happen if you did what you were afraid of doing. (Possible Negative Consequences) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Define the absolute best things that could happen if you did what you were afraid of doing. (Probable Positive Outcomes) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Action Steps Needed to FACE FEAR and conquer it! </li></ul></ul>“ Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.” – James Bymes
  14. 15. Turn your life upside down, and turn FEAR into ACTION! Source for this presentation came from: Ferris, Timothy . 2007 “The 4-Hour Work Week”
  15. 16. “ Break Up with FEAR, and Realize your Potential! Presented by: Ed Cabellon Chief Visionary Officer - LTE Consulting September 29, 2009 – Nichols College