Self-Coaching and Leadership, March 2013


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Deck from my talk on self-coaching and leadership at Kixeye, San Francisco, March 27, 2013. Learn more at

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Self-Coaching and Leadership, March 2013

  1. 1. Self-coaching & leadership Ed Batista, March 27, 2013 Seth Anderson
  2. 2. Who am I?Executive coachInstructor @ Stanford Photo: Seth Anderson
  3. 3. Agenda Self-coaching Leadership Mindset Practices Goals ChangePhoto: Theresa Thompson
  4. 4. Format Brief conceptual framing Discuss with your partnerPhoto: Theresa Thompson
  5. 5. Coaching NOT consulting, advising or mentoring Client owns the agenda Client has the answersPhoto: Seth Anderson
  6. 6. Self-coaching 99% of coaching = Self-coaching 91% of engagements < 18 months High demand, limited resourcesPhoto: Seth Anderson
  7. 7. Self-coaching Not a solitary experience Coaching partners are essential Start with your partner todayPhoto: Seth Anderson
  8. 8. Leadership It rarely looks like this Not a function of job title or role A way of being with othersPhoto: Martin Fisch
  9. 9. Leadership Work has changed Organizations have changed Leadership has to changePhoto: xlibber
  10. 10. Leadership Empowering others Interpersonal skills Emotional intelligence in actionPhoto: woodleywonderworks
  11. 11. Leadership Key capabilities… Self-awareness Self-regulation Managing relationshipsPhoto: woodleywonderworks
  12. 12. Discuss in pairs Given this model of leadership… What are my strengths as a leader? What are my weaknesses? What do I want to work on?Photo: Ed Yourdon
  13. 13. Mindset Perspective on ourselves Work in progress Open to learning Carol DweckPhoto: jm3
  14. 14. Mindset Fixed Growth Talent & intelligence Talent & intelligence are inherent traits can be developed Mistakes are failures Mistakes are learning or character flaws opportunities Negative emotional Pay close attention response to to mistakes & mistakes learn moreCarol Dweck:
  15. 15. Mindset Mental models matter Stereotype threat Perception shapes our experiencePhoto: Renato Ganoza
  16. 16. Discuss in pairs How would a growth mindset help me? What mental models might get in my way?Photo: Keoni Cabral
  17. 17. Practices Experiential learning Coaching conversations Reflection and journalingPhoto: Rollan Budi
  18. 18. Experiential Act learning Apply Reflect What will I do What happened? the next time? What resulted from my actions? Conceptualize What do these results imply? What conclusions can I draw?
  19. 19. Experiential Act learning Now What? What? So What?
  20. 20. Coaching conversations More questions, less advice How…? and What…? are better than Why…? Help us find our own answersPhoto: Ed Yourdon
  21. 21. Coaching conversations Empathy = “the antidote to shame” Listening vs. feeling heard Learning & actionPhoto: Ed Yourdon
  22. 22. Reflection Neuroscience of journaling Memory of an experience Emotional experiences Non-emotional experiencesPhoto: Alex Erde
  23. 23. Reflection No right way Natural & enjoyable Valuable Leverage situational factors Avoid guiltPhoto: Alex Erde
  24. 24. Discuss in pairs Who are my potential coaching partners? What would journaling look like for me?Photo: Ana Karenina
  25. 25. Goals When we are… Committed Able Unconflicted …goals support performancePhoto: John Trainor
  26. 26. Goals However… Learning may trump performance Threatening goals are counter-productive Goals may diminish motivation & enjoymentPhoto: John Trainor
  27. 27. Goals Effective goals… Generate feedback Heighten commitment Don’t obscure the big picturePhoto: John Trainor
  28. 28. Goals & coaching Accountable to ourselves, not the coach As a coach: Investment vs. attachment As a “coachee”: Get curious about failurePhoto: Erich Ferdinand
  29. 29. Discuss in pairs What is a current leadership goal of mine? How will this goal motivate me? How might it get in my way?Photo: Andrew Yee
  30. 30. Change Behavior is stable Driving & restraining forces Change requires “unfreezing”Photo: ezioman
  31. 31. Change Key driving force “Survival anxiety” I must change to achieve my goalsPhoto: ezioman
  32. 32. Change Key restraining force “Learning anxiety” Change threatens my self-esteem or identityPhoto: ezioman Photo: ezioman
  33. 33. Change Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety Trigger some survival anxiety Decrease learning anxietyPhoto: ezioman
  34. 34. Change & mindsetGrowth mindset = Work in progressChange is less threateningNew behavior ≠ New identityMistakes = Learning opportunities
  35. 35. Conclusions Self-coaching is possible… …with the right mindset, partners and practice (Professional coaching helps, too) Leadership is emotional intelligence in action Goals are powerful; use with care Change requires comfort with discomfortPhoto: David Barrie
  36. 36. Thank you!Photo: Seth Anderson
  37. 37. Photo Credits: www.edbatista.comLifeguard Chairs by Seth Anderson, by Theresa Thompson, Aurelius by Martin Fisch, by xlibber, Practice by woodleywonderworks, # 1 by Ed Yourdon, Cones by jm3, in Classroom by Renato Ganoza, # 2 by Keoni Cabral, Swing by Rollan Budi, Conversations by Ed Yourdon, by Alex Erde, # 3 by Ana Karenina, by John Trainor, by Erich Ferdinand, # 4 by Andrew Yee, by ezioman, by David Barrie,