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Writing Killer Ad Copy …and not getting arrested.
Warnings, Disclaimers and Legal Stuff <ul><li>PPC tactics shared are not meant to be taken internally, inserted, for those...
And for crying out loud…. use common sense. <ul><li>*Note: Many copyrights and trademarks were trampled upon in this prese...
Be More Aggressive <ul><li>Tell people what to do…with edge! </li></ul><ul><li>Threaten their sexual orientation. </li></u...
<ul><li>Buy My Stuff Now Hey You! Yeah, You. What Are You Waiting For? </li></ul><ul><li>IT Management Software Hey, IT Gu...
Use Reverse Psychology <ul><li>Your mom’s been doing it for years. </li></ul><ul><li>Using reverse psychology never works....
<ul><li>Being Lonely is Better Dating is Overrated, Even if Your Soul Mate is Online Now. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t Buy Shoe...
POP QUIZ <ul><li>1.) Reverse psychology: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) never works  b.) invented by Freud  </li></ul><ul><li>c.) i...
Double and Triple Your Fun <ul><li>MSN lets you do whatever you want anyway. </li></ul><ul><li>People need repetition for ...
<ul><li>Here Fishy Fishy Freshwater & Saltwater Aquarium Maintenance Made Easy. </li></ul><ul><li>Chug Chug Chug  Get Some...
Appeal to their Ego <ul><li>Point out how everyone else is a loser. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell them how good looking they are....
<ul><li>Barbell Weights Pump those Guns! There’s No Such Thing as a Bicep that’s Too Big </li></ul><ul><li>Glasses are for...
Use Guilt <ul><li>Incite a sense of duty. </li></ul><ul><li>Mention that not buying from you makes small children cry. Sma...
<ul><li>Pants Don’t Fit? Stop Snacking, You’re Doing it to Yourself. Free Trial Gym Pass. </li></ul><ul><li>4 th  of July ...
POP QUIZ <ul><li>1.) A guilty ad: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) sells more Snuggies b.) is like doing charity work </li></ul><ul><...
Using Sounds as Words <ul><li>It’s time we invoke senses in ads! Not just emotions like guilt, anger and shame. </li></ul>...
<ul><li>Mmmm…Cookies Crispy, Crumbly Butter Cookies. Free Shipping on Orders of $25+ </li></ul><ul><li>Drinking Glass Sets...
Write for Women <ul><li>Prey on insecurities and weaknesses. </li></ul><ul><li>Utilize that spending power. Shopaholic is ...
<ul><li>She’s Just Jealous Prove it by Downloading the Newest & Hottest Ringtones! </li></ul><ul><li>Terry Cloth Track Sui...
Write Ads that Sound Dirty, but Aren’t. <ul><li>Buying toner is extremely boring. Spice it up!  </li></ul><ul><li>Get that...
<ul><li>Empty Toner Cartridges? Don’t Dip Into the Company Ink! Buy Toner Online. Ships Free. </li></ul><ul><li>Year End S...
POP QUIZ Answers <ul><li>The answer is “D” for everything. </li></ul>
 
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Writing Killer Ad Copy

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This presentation was given at SMX Advanced in Seattle on June 2, 2009. It is intended for paid search professionals, it's edgy, it's humorous and meant to get you thinking "outside the box" when writing ad copy.

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Writing Killer Ad Copy

  1. 1. Writing Killer Ad Copy …and not getting arrested.
  2. 2. Warnings, Disclaimers and Legal Stuff <ul><li>PPC tactics shared are not meant to be taken internally, inserted, for those with high blood pressure, respirator dependency, suffering from glaucoma or with sticks in various places. </li></ul><ul><li>Side effects may include: increased CTR & ROIs, disciplinary actions, high fives, explosive expletives and clicks. </li></ul><ul><li>If there’s mild discomfort…you’re on the right track! </li></ul>
  3. 3. And for crying out loud…. use common sense. <ul><li>*Note: Many copyrights and trademarks were trampled upon in this presentation. </li></ul>
  4. 4. Be More Aggressive <ul><li>Tell people what to do…with edge! </li></ul><ul><li>Threaten their sexual orientation. </li></ul><ul><li>Question their safety and security. </li></ul><ul><li>Point out flaws in both their appearance and personality </li></ul><ul><li>Ask them why they suck </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>Buy My Stuff Now Hey You! Yeah, You. What Are You Waiting For? </li></ul><ul><li>IT Management Software Hey, IT Guy! Buy This Now. I Know Where You Live. </li></ul><ul><li>Buy MasterTools Now Don’t be a Wuss, Get a Real Man’s Tools and Get to Work. </li></ul><ul><li>Anti-Wrinkle Cream You Don’t Have to Be Ugly. Fix it. So You Can Leave the House. </li></ul><ul><li>Kick Ass Backpacks Your Backpack is Old and Ugly. Buy a New Backpack Now! </li></ul>
  6. 6. Use Reverse Psychology <ul><li>Your mom’s been doing it for years. </li></ul><ul><li>Using reverse psychology never works. </li></ul><ul><li>You’ll catch all those people that didn’t respond to the aggressive ad. </li></ul><ul><li>Mind games are fun. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>Being Lonely is Better Dating is Overrated, Even if Your Soul Mate is Online Now. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t Buy Shoes Shoes Take Up Space, Even When They’re on Sale. </li></ul><ul><li>Renting DVDs is Lame DVD Rental Packages at $9.99 a month Isn’t a Terrific Deal or Convenient. </li></ul><ul><li>Mysterious Bag of Stuff You Don’t Need it. At $5. I Pod Probably Isn’t In It. </li></ul><ul><li>Completely Useless Bike You Already Have an OK Bike. New Bikes are Never Fun! </li></ul>
  8. 8. POP QUIZ <ul><li>1.) Reverse psychology: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) never works b.) invented by Freud </li></ul><ul><li>c.) is for chumps d.) only works for your mom. </li></ul><ul><li>2.) An aggressive ad would: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) exceed 70 characters b.) verbally punch you in the face </li></ul><ul><li>c.) not suck d.) tell people what to do </li></ul><ul><li>3.) Why is common sense important? </li></ul><ul><li>a.) Thomas Paine knew his stuff b.) to avoid being fired </li></ul><ul><li>c.) to avoid prosecution d.) all of the above </li></ul>
  9. 9. Double and Triple Your Fun <ul><li>MSN lets you do whatever you want anyway. </li></ul><ul><li>People need repetition for the message to sink in. </li></ul><ul><li>Double your pleasure. Double your fun! </li></ul><ul><li>Remember the Head On commercials? </li></ul><ul><li>Mini Sirloin Burgers come in packs of 3. </li></ul>
  10. 10. <ul><li>Here Fishy Fishy Freshwater & Saltwater Aquarium Maintenance Made Easy. </li></ul><ul><li>Chug Chug Chug Get Some Beer in Your Mug! Shop Personalized Mugs Now. </li></ul><ul><li>Cars Cars Cars The movie, the toys, the shirts! We’ve got it all. Shop Now. </li></ul><ul><li>NBA NBA Officially Licensed Team Cufflinks. Personalized Free, Save 10% Off! </li></ul><ul><li>Twinkle Twinkle Sparkly Rhinestone Cell Phone Kits. Lots of Designs, Ships Free! </li></ul>
  11. 11. Appeal to their Ego <ul><li>Point out how everyone else is a loser. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell them how good looking they are. </li></ul><ul><li>Stretch the truth about their intelligence. </li></ul><ul><li>Notate that while already in shape, there’s no such thing as being too much in shape. </li></ul><ul><li>Mention that they smell nice. </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>Barbell Weights Pump those Guns! There’s No Such Thing as a Bicep that’s Too Big </li></ul><ul><li>Glasses are for Nerds Laser Eye Surgery is for You. Don’t Be a Dork. Call Us Today! </li></ul><ul><li>Winners Eat at Dave’s Bring Your Winning Team In! Losers eat at Mc D’s. </li></ul><ul><li>Pretty People Needed Affordable Photography for Good Looking People. No Uggos. </li></ul><ul><li>Smart Baby Clothes Enhance Your Baby’s Intelligence! Smart Looking Onesies & T-Shirts. </li></ul>
  13. 13. Use Guilt <ul><li>Incite a sense of duty. </li></ul><ul><li>Mention that not buying from you makes small children cry. Small orphan children. </li></ul><ul><li>Millions will go hungry! </li></ul><ul><li>Hundreds will die! </li></ul><ul><li>But a Snuggie will make everything all better. </li></ul>
  14. 14. <ul><li>Pants Don’t Fit? Stop Snacking, You’re Doing it to Yourself. Free Trial Gym Pass. </li></ul><ul><li>4 th of July Party Favors A Real American Would Shop at Dave’s Trinket Hut. </li></ul><ul><li>Donate to Our Cause Orphan Children Will Die Without Your Support! </li></ul><ul><li>Vacuum Cleaners </li></ul><ul><li>Mom Won’t Be Disappointed In You. Money Back Guarantee. </li></ul><ul><li>Stuffed Animal Sale Remember that kid you made cry? Save on Super Soft Stuffed Animals! </li></ul>
  15. 15. POP QUIZ <ul><li>1.) A guilty ad: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) sells more Snuggies b.) is like doing charity work </li></ul><ul><li>c.) has to be sappy d.) preys on profitable insecurities </li></ul><ul><li>2.) To appeal to an ego: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) ask your Id b.) do what Paris would do </li></ul><ul><li>c.) ask your SuperEgo d.) flatter, pander & stretch the truth </li></ul><ul><li>3.) The best repetitive ads: </li></ul><ul><li>a.) mention sirloin burgers b.) pound it into the reader </li></ul><ul><li>c.) skirt editorial guidelines d.) all of the above </li></ul>
  16. 16. Using Sounds as Words <ul><li>It’s time we invoke senses in ads! Not just emotions like guilt, anger and shame. </li></ul><ul><li>Smell-o-vision is on the horizon. </li></ul><ul><li>If they can hear it, they will come. </li></ul><ul><li>Snap, Crackle and Pop proved that it works. </li></ul>
  17. 17. <ul><li>Mmmm…Cookies Crispy, Crumbly Butter Cookies. Free Shipping on Orders of $25+ </li></ul><ul><li>Drinking Glass Sets Crack! Smash. Tinkle. Replace Your Broken Glasses. </li></ul><ul><li>Slurp Your Soup Gourmet Canned Soups to be Slurped in the Comfort of Home. </li></ul><ul><li>Brake Shoes & Pads Avoid that Fingernail on Chalkboard Squeak, Eeek! Free Estimates. </li></ul><ul><li>Basketball Equipment Swish! Bounce & Slam Dunk With Officially Licensed Gear. </li></ul>
  18. 18. Write for Women <ul><li>Prey on insecurities and weaknesses. </li></ul><ul><li>Utilize that spending power. Shopaholic is about a woman after all. </li></ul><ul><li>Pander to their needs. </li></ul><ul><li>They’re always right. </li></ul><ul><li>Show them you care. </li></ul>
  19. 19. <ul><li>She’s Just Jealous Prove it by Downloading the Newest & Hottest Ringtones! </li></ul><ul><li>Terry Cloth Track Suits Are Always in Style. Don’t Waste Wearing Them at the Gym. </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid Wedding Disasters Get the Dress, the Tiara & the Swans. You Earned it. </li></ul><ul><li>Free eCards for Him He’s an Idiot. Tell Him How Much of an Idiot with a Free eCard! </li></ul><ul><li>Car Insurance Chocolate New Policies Get Free Chocolate! Call for a Free Quote Today. </li></ul>
  20. 20. Write Ads that Sound Dirty, but Aren’t. <ul><li>Buying toner is extremely boring. Spice it up! </li></ul><ul><li>Get that sale by making them laugh. </li></ul><ul><li>Appeal to the gutter minded. </li></ul><ul><li>Editorial Guidelines can shove it. </li></ul><ul><li>Finally, an outlet at work that enables you to showcase your poet-like abilities. </li></ul>
  21. 21. <ul><li>Empty Toner Cartridges? Don’t Dip Into the Company Ink! Buy Toner Online. Ships Free. </li></ul><ul><li>Year End Surplus? Blow Your Budget in 3 Clicks. Avoid Budget Cuts & Restructure. </li></ul><ul><li>Weight Loss Drink Less Cushion for the Pushing with Ultra-Slimmer Drinks! </li></ul><ul><li>Stimulating Exercise Tone & Strengthen Any Muscle. Money Back Guarantee. </li></ul><ul><li>Get Completely Screwed Screw Often, Hard & Accurately! Shop Phillips Screwdriver Kits. </li></ul>
  22. 22. POP QUIZ Answers <ul><li>The answer is “D” for everything. </li></ul>

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