Investment Banking in the Marriage Market

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a systematic and efficient method
to optimize yourself and find, evaluate, and sign the deal with your spouse

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Investment Banking in the Marriage Market

  1. 1. © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com David Teten teten.com // @dteten New York, NY Investment Banking in the Marriage Market: how to get married this year http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  2. 2. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Don’t Take Notes! Download more resources and detailed slides at: teten.com/marriage
  3. 3. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • National Council of Young Israel Singles Conference (three times), featured in the Jewish Week (http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a6736/News/New_York.html# ) • Limmud NY 2013 • Limmud FSU 2013 • And many, many single friends… Past Audiences for This Presentation
  4. 4. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Introduction • Prepare • Source • Date • Close the Deal http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  5. 5. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com You’re systematic when looking for a job, raising capital, or looking for investments; you should have a system for finding a spouse http://500px.com/photo/396190
  6. 6. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com David Teten • Managing Partner, HOF Capital • Previously Partner for six years, ff Venture Capital, one of the best- performing seed- and early-stage VC firms in the U.S. • Founder, Harvard Business School Alumni Angels of Greater New York • Previously serial entrepreneur and Bear Stearns technology investment banker • Advised clients such as Goldman Sachs Special Situations Group, Icahn Enterprises, LLR Partners ($1.4b fund), Birch Hill Equity Partners (C$2B fund), and other institutional investors • Harvard MBA, Yale BA • Teten.com / @dteten / info@teten.com
  7. 7. Intro Prepare Source Date Propose © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Spouse Search Process Prepare Source & Research Date Propose Marry if you fail… Try Again
  8. 8. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Introduction • Prepare • Source • Date • Propose http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  9. 9. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Visualize your spouse, and evaluate if you qualify. http://500px.com/photo/7776825 If not…upgrade yourself
  10. 10. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Mold yourself to be qualified to marry • Soul • Mind • Body http://500px.com/photo/3613869
  11. 11. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Prepare yourself to be marriageable • Draw up a personal life mission (Steven Covey) • Study interpersonal and intergender communication (Deborah Tannen) http://www.flickr.om/photos/alancleaver/4748968411/in/photostream/
  12. 12. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Research marriage • MarriageBuilders.com • aish.com/f/m/ • eNotAlone.com and dating • e-Cyrano http://www.e-cyrano.com/
  13. 13. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Accustom yourself to being married • Live with roommates http://www.flickr.com/photos/raucousrage/74353701/sizes/m/in/photostream/
  14. 14. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Protect yourself from distraction; Avoid… • Primarily hanging out with singles • Relationships without marriage potential • Most (not all) social interaction on the internet • TV • Unrealistic images of your preferred gender http://500px.com/photo/1240232
  15. 15. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Introduction • Prepare • Source • Date • Propose http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  16. 16. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Why should I care about social media for dating? • Because 3 out of 4 Americans use social technology. (Forrester, The Growth Of Social Technology Adoption, 2008) • 2/3 of global internet population visit social networks (Nielsen, Global Faces & Networked Places, 2009) • Visiting social sites is now the 4th most popular online activity—ahead of personal email. (Nielsen, Global Faces & Networked Places, 2009) • Visitors spend 5 million minutes per day on Facebook. (Facebook) http://www.slideshare.net/mzkagan/what-is-social-media-2005829 . http://www.flickr.com/photos/sreejithk2000/2385193167/sizes/l/
  17. 17. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com But I don’t use social media, and neither do (some of) my targets! • The reality: you and your targets are in the matrix whether you like it or not. • Your candidates search for you on Google before meeting you. • You can accelerate your sales process by leveraging potential candidates’ digital footprints. These help you to source leads, filter them, and then run a better educated sales process. http://www.slideshare.net/mzkagan/what-is-social-media-2005829 . http://www.flickr.com/photos/sreejithk2000/2385193167/sizes/l/
  18. 18. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Social media allows you to convert cold calls to warm calls http://www.flickr.com/photos/23439761@N03/3258313816/sizes/l/
  19. 19. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Network Valuation Formula = D * ∑ (Chn*Con *Rn* Sn*In) Ch = Character Co = Your Competence R = Relevance of the contact S = Strength of your relationship I = Information N = Number of people D = Diversity N n=1 David Teten and Scott Allen, The Virtual Handshake: Opening Doors and Closing Deals Online (www.TheVirtualHandshake.com)
  20. 20. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Always be closing Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross http://www.onlygoodmovies.com/blog/thoughts-on-film/glengarry-glen-ross-my-favorite-movie-scenes/
  21. 21. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Balance Strength vs. Number Average Strength = Minutes Available / Person Number = # People therefore… Average Strength * Number = Total Minutes Available vs.
  22. 22. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Biography analysis software allows you to get background. • Facebook • LinkedIn • ZoomInfo Leading Providers of Biography Analysis Data
  23. 23. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Learn from people who’ve been there: the newly married http://500px.com/photo/11769357
  24. 24. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Search for volunteer opportunities: • Organize a service project: Choose something you ENJOY Start with a small commitment Bring friends Invite Participants: Coworkers Social Network Building Residents Faith Groups Workout Friends Publicly Post on AllforGoodVolunteerSpot.com * Meet caring people by volunteering * ff Venture Capital portfolio company nycares.com allforgood.org
  25. 25. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Meet the matchmakers
  26. 26. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com How to persuade people to make introductions • Desire to help you out • Affinity • Leverage others’ credibility • Provide them an ego boost http://www.flickr.com/photos/nasarobonaut/4691143282/sizes/z/in/photostream/
  27. 27. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Attend events, preferably SpeedDating http://www.flickr.com/photos/lastminuteracer/5595778963/
  28. 28. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Effective daters are data hounds Tools for Assimilating Data into Your Contact Relationship Management (CRM) System Data source Selected technology for inserting data into CRM Cards FullContact Data Enrichment Avention, ClearBit, Cloze, Data.com, Discover.ly, Evercontact, Introhive, LeadIQ, Plaxo, Ringlead, Salestools.io, SalesOps, VibeApp, DiscoverOrg Other LinkedIn Full CRM Microsoft Dynamics, Salesforce, SalesforceIQ, Act, Base, many others
  29. 29. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • LinkedIn • Ning • Xing • Groups.Google.com • Groups.Yahoo.com Join the pertinent gated communities
  30. 30. Character – Competence – Relevance – Strength – Information – Number – Diversity Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Take one step • By philosophy • By height • By geography • By personal characteristics http://flickr.com/photos/extranoise/169187125/sizes/l/
  31. 31. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Introduction • Prepare • Source • Date • Propose http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  32. 32. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Date in diverse locations • Stay up until 4:30 AM walking around town (to simulate waking up for babies) • Go to right-wing and left-wing environments * How About We is a ff Venture Capital portfolio company
  33. 33. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Work together • Take care of friends’ children • Do projects together • Organize an event together • Cook together with Plated.com* * f Venture Capital portfolio company
  34. 34. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Meet with and interview couples (including your parents) http://www.flickr.com/photos/paytonc/16956410/
  35. 35. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Identify the risk factors http://500px.com/photo/5870456
  36. 36. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Ask the real questions • “How would you feel if my mother moved in with us?” • “What would you do if I gained 10 pounds? 50?” • “What would we do if we became pregnant with a baby with a birth defect?”
  37. 37. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Consider using a Myers-Briggs test • humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp • Quick and dirty: personalitytype.com/quiz.html http://www.flickr.com/photos/slavin_fpo/2164394977
  38. 38. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Fall in love using this scientifically proven sure-fire method • Have a mutual acquaintance tell you each that one likes the other • Look deeply into one anothers’ eyes • Exchange intimate information: your most embarrassing moment, how you would feel if you lost a parent. • Stare into each other's eyes for two minutes without talking. • Bring in a colleague periodically who says, "OK, tell the other person what you already like about him." • The first two subjects in this experiment got married six months later. They invited the entire research team to their wedding. • For further reading: Business:http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-11/08/how-to-find-love-in-45-mins?page=all Academic research and details: http://psp.sagepub.com/content/23/4/363.abstract
  39. 39. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com • Introduction • Prepare • Source • Date • Propose http://www.flickr.com/photos/hsing/1700762508/
  40. 40. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Just do it! Propose! (No one is perfect, including even you.) * Appy Couple is a ff Venture Capital portfolio company
  41. 41. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Further reading • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey • Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This!, Corey Donaldson • Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School, Rachel Greenwald • That's Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships, Deborah Tannen • You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Deborah Tannen • The Virtual Handshake: Opening Doors and Closing Deals Online. Free copy at TheVirtualHandshake.com, David Teten and Scott Allen • How to Determine if Someone is Worth Pursuing in 2 Dates or Less, Neil C. Warren • Science Shows Dating Websites Aren’t Better At Finding You Love, Greg Ferenstein
  42. 42. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Jewish Books • The Inner Circle, Shaya Ostrov • In the Beginning, Rosie Einhorn, L.C.S.W. and Sherry Zimmerman, Esq. http://www.flickr.com/photos/spine/278819270/sizes/z/in/photostream/
  43. 43. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Any questions ? slides at teten.com/marriage More info at: teten.com @dteten
  44. 44. Source Date ProposeIntro Prepare © 2016 David Teten. More at teten.com Disclaimer: Date at your own risk A representative of an asset management firm (“Firm”) is providing this presentation for informational purposes to the intended audience. Nothing in this presentation shall constitute an offer or solicitation with respect to the purchase or sale of any security in any jurisdiction nor should anything in this presentation form the basis of, or be relied upon for, making any investment decision. Nothing in this presentation constitutes professional and/or financial advice of any kind (including business, employment, investment advisory, accounting, tax, and/or legal advice), nor does any information in this presentation constitute a comprehensive or complete statement of the matters discussed or the law relating thereto. This presentation and the information contained herein are provided “AS IS”. The Firm and the presenter make no representation or warranty (express or implied) with respect to the information contained herein (including, without limitation, information obtained from third parties) and expressly disclaims any liability based on or relating to the information contained in, or errors or omissions from, these materials; or based on or relating to the recipient’s use (or the use by any of its affiliates or representatives or any other person) of these materials; or based on any other written or oral communications transmitted to the recipient or any of its affiliates or representatives. The Firm and the presenter undertake no duty or obligation to update or revise the information contained in this presentation.

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