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Role of Women in Overcoming
ED with their Partners
21 February 2016
Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Clinical Sexologist
• Doctorate in Human Sexuality
• Masters in Public Policy and
Management
• Bachelo...
Agenda
1. Background
2. Myths/
misconceptions
about sex
3. What happens?
4. Suggestions of
what to do
What is Sexology?
Study of sexual interests, behavior, and function which combines:
Biology Physiology Medicine Psychology...
Sexologists study:
Sexual
development
Sexual
orientation
Sexual
relationships
Sexual activity Sexualities of
special
group
Sexual Response
Consider the Impact of Culture
Culture Impacts Function
• Sex is not discussed 
– Ignorance re: anatomy, function, technique
• Sense of self ≠ societal ...
Sex and Gender Differences
• Sexiness criticized in women; admired in men:
– ‘Slut’ vs. ‘stud’
• Premarital / extramarital...
• Sex means sexual intercourse
• Talking about sex is not natural, proper, or
necessary
• Sex is for younger people
• Men ...
Misconceptions of
Sexual Function & Satisfaction
• Men want sex more than women
• Women care about intimacy more than men
...
Facts about Sexual Function
• Both women and men enjoy sex / intimacy
• Fulfilling sex often requires planning / effort
• ...
• Internalize things – must have done
something wrong
• No longer attractive to their partner – own
self-perceived lack of...
Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says
Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says
confirmation
more attacks
pull back
Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says
confirmation
more attacks
pull back
Communic...
Relationship Problems
• Anger
• Poor Communication
• Criticism
• Neurotic Interactions
• Incompatible Sexual
fantasies
• A...
Psychosocial Issues
• Lifelong or acquired
• Symptom or situational
• Unresolved history of sexual abuse or trauma
• Body ...
1.Get educated
2.Don't personalize it
3.Don't feel rejected
4.Be positive
5.Discuss things calmly
6.Discuss outside of the...
We Don’t Ask Because Of…
• Personal embarrassment
• Lack of knowledge re: clinical relevance
• Ignorance re: who, when, ho...
Lack of Sexuality Education
We Can Make a Difference
By Talking about Sex
What is Your Approach?
• Sex-positive
• Non-judgemental
• Educational
• Client-centered
• Do no harm
Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Clinical Sexologist
Eros Coaching Pte Ltd
Website: www.eroscoaching.com
Email: drmarthalee@eroscoachin...
Role of Women in Overcoming ED
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Role of Women in Overcoming ED

Role of Women in Overcoming Erectile Dsyfunction was presented by Clinical Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching at a public forum organised by a group of NTU students at Singapore Conference Hall on Sat 21 Feb 2016.

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching since 2009. She is a certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists), as well as a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. Website: http://www.eroscoaching.com.

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Role of Women in Overcoming ED

  1. 1. Role of Women in Overcoming ED with their Partners 21 February 2016
  2. 2. Dr. Martha Tara Lee Clinical Sexologist • Doctorate in Human Sexuality • Masters in Public Policy and Management • Bachelor of Arts (Comm) • Certificate in Sex Therapy • Certitificate in Practical Counselling • Cert in Life Coaching
  3. 3. Agenda 1. Background 2. Myths/ misconceptions about sex 3. What happens? 4. Suggestions of what to do
  4. 4. What is Sexology? Study of sexual interests, behavior, and function which combines: Biology Physiology Medicine Psychology Statistics Epidemiology Criminology Religion Philosophy Zoology Anthropology Sociology
  5. 5. Sexologists study: Sexual development Sexual orientation Sexual relationships Sexual activity Sexualities of special group
  6. 6. Sexual Response
  7. 7. Consider the Impact of Culture
  8. 8. Culture Impacts Function • Sex is not discussed  – Ignorance re: anatomy, function, technique • Sense of self ≠ societal expectations  – Anxiety, confusion, shame, isolation – More depression, substance abuse, unprotected sex • Gender role inequities  – Poor communication re: safer sex, sexual needs – Sexual inhibition/avoidance after sexual trauma
  9. 9. Sex and Gender Differences • Sexiness criticized in women; admired in men: – ‘Slut’ vs. ‘stud’ • Premarital / extramarital sex unacceptable for women; condoned in men: – Intact hymen, chastity belt • Sexual pleasure valued less / taboo for women: – ‘My husband’s needs come first’ – Female genital circumcision • Stigma greater for older women than men: – ‘All dried up’, ‘withered’ vs. ‘he’s a real Don Juan’
  10. 10. • Sex means sexual intercourse • Talking about sex is not natural, proper, or necessary • Sex is for younger people • Men should initiate sexual activity • Sex should be spontaneous • A firm penis is a requirement for satisfying sex • Quality sex ends with a orgasm Myths about Sexuality
  11. 11. Misconceptions of Sexual Function & Satisfaction • Men want sex more than women • Women care about intimacy more than men • If you love your partner, sex will be wonderful • My partner should know what I want • Good sex is spontaneous • Movies and TV portray sex as it really is • Bigger is always better
  12. 12. Facts about Sexual Function • Both women and men enjoy sex / intimacy • Fulfilling sex often requires planning / effort • Changes in function occur with life stress, aging, illness, and many medications • Lifestyle adaptations preserve sexual satisfaction in many circumstances Laumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC. Sexual dysfunction in the United States: prevalence and predictors. JAMA 1999;281:537-544.
  13. 13. • Internalize things – must have done something wrong • No longer attractive to their partner – own self-perceived lack of attractiveness • Accusations of affair/ adultery What happens when there is persistent ED
  14. 14. Line of questioning  hurt  feel attacked  pull back  He Says/ She Says
  15. 15. Line of questioning  hurt  feel attacked  pull back  He Says/ She Says confirmation more attacks pull back
  16. 16. Line of questioning  hurt  feel attacked  pull back  He Says/ She Says confirmation more attacks pull back Communication Break-down
  17. 17. Relationship Problems • Anger • Poor Communication • Criticism • Neurotic Interactions • Incompatible Sexual fantasies • Alcoholism & Sexual Abuse • Phobic Avoidance of Sexual Intercourse • Unconscious Conflict about Sex, Commitment, Pregnancy • Sexual Abuse Issues
  18. 18. Psychosocial Issues • Lifelong or acquired • Symptom or situational • Unresolved history of sexual abuse or trauma • Body image/ Self-esteem issues • Psychiatric history • Stress, anxiety, sadness • Relationship conflict • Partner’s sexual dysfunction
  19. 19. 1.Get educated 2.Don't personalize it 3.Don't feel rejected 4.Be positive 5.Discuss things calmly 6.Discuss outside of the bedroom 7.Reassurance - treat your man as your best friend 8.Encourage but don’t push 9.Continue being sexual - lots of different ways to be sexual 10.Go with your guy to the doctor 11.Adopt a healthy lifestyle together Suggestions of What to Do
  20. 20. We Don’t Ask Because Of… • Personal embarrassment • Lack of knowledge re: clinical relevance • Ignorance re: who, when, how, or what to ask • Concern re: not knowing how to answer questions • Concern re: becoming aroused/uncomfortable • Concern re: appearing seductive/intrusive • Uncertainty about legal issues • Time constraints
  21. 21. Lack of Sexuality Education
  22. 22. We Can Make a Difference By Talking about Sex
  23. 23. What is Your Approach? • Sex-positive • Non-judgemental • Educational • Client-centered • Do no harm
  24. 24. Dr. Martha Tara Lee Clinical Sexologist Eros Coaching Pte Ltd Website: www.eroscoaching.com Email: drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com

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  • lukmanulhakeemmohamm

    Sep. 5, 2016
  • hzipes

    Sep. 12, 2019

Role of Women in Overcoming Erectile Dsyfunction was presented by Clinical Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching at a public forum organised by a group of NTU students at Singapore Conference Hall on Sat 21 Feb 2016. Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching since 2009. She is a certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists), as well as a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. Website: http://www.eroscoaching.com.

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