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Maintaining a Healthy Psychosocial & Psychosexual Lifestyle

Maintaining a Healthy Psychosocial & Psychosexual Lifestyle at "Thriving thr Breast Cancer" organised by Breast Cancer Welfare Association Malaysia in Kuala Lumpur on Sat 13 August 2016.

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching since 2009. She is a certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists), as well as a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. Website: http://www.eroscoaching.com.

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Maintaining a Healthy Psychosocial & Psychosexual Lifestyle

  1. 1. PRESENTATION NAME Maintaining a Healthy Psychosocial and Psychosexual Lifestyle @ Thriving thru Breast Cancer Breast Cancer Welfare Association Malaysia Sat 13th Aug 2016
  2. 2. Dr. Martha Tara Lee Clinical Sexologist • Doctorate in Human Sexuality • Masters in Public Policy and Management • Bachelor of Arts (Comm) • Certificate in Sex Therapy • Certitificate in Practical Counselling • Cert in Life Coaching
  3. 3. Agenda 1. Sex + Surgery Myths 2. Dealing with Sexual Desire + Arousal Problems 3. Sexual Tips 4. Single women with breast cancer 5. Conclusion
  4. 4. Sex Myths 1. Sex is a sensitive topic. 2. Sex is only for making babies. 3. There is a cut-off age for sex 4. He knows what he is doing. 5. There is a “best” way to have sex 6. More sex is better. 7. Faster is better. 8. Sex is incomplete without the orgasm. 9. Need desire for sex. 10.Need emotional connection for sex to happen.
  5. 5. Misconceptions about Sex and Intimacy After Surgery 1. Be grateful to be alive. 2. Things will get better. 3. Sex is about penetration. 4. Sex is about the orgasm. 5. Sex is all about him. 6. No need to think about sex if single. 7. Too old anyway
  6. 6. Issues of intimate sexual relations at advancing age A woman may notice changes in her vagina. Her vagina shortens and narrows. The walls become thinner and also a little stiffer. As men get older, erectile difficulties becomes more common.
  7. 7. Dealing with Sexual Desire and Arousal Problems Problem Side Effects Treatment Arthritis Joint pain due to arthritis can make sexual contact uncomfortable • Exercise, rest, warm baths, and changing the position or timing of sexual activity • Joint replacement surgery and drugs may relieve this pain. Chronic pain Can lead to sleep problems, depression, isolation, and difficulty moving around. Chronic pain can often be treated. Diabetes Many men with diabetes do not have sexual problems, but this is one of the few illnesses that can cause impotence. In most cases medical treatment can help.
  8. 8. Problem Side Effects Treatment Heart disease Narrowing and hardening of the arteries. Can lead to trouble with erections in men, and high blood pressure (hypertension). Always follow your doctor's advice. Incontinence Loss of bladder control or leaking of urine. The good news is that this can usually be treated. Stroke Problems with erections are possible Try using different positions or medical devices to help them continue having sex. Dealing with Sexual Desire and Arousal Problems
  9. 9. • Sickness or feeling sick • Tiredness (fatigue) • Irritability • Sadness or depression • Frustration, anxiety or tension • Pain • Bowel problems such as diarrhea • Breathing, Mouth and Bladder problems • Skin changes or scarring • Changes in your sex hormones • Concerns about changes in the way you look Having Cancer or its Treatment can Cause
  10. 10. • Difficulty with self-esteem because of feeling ill and being unable to fill all your usual roles in the family and at work • Body image changes from surgical scars or openings that affect how you feel about your body • Affected by what your partner may experience. • Stress in the relationship with your partner Emotional Effects of Treatment on Sexual Functioning
  11. 11. Sexual Functioning Concerns and How to Find Help Loss of desire for sex after cancer • Check your medications for possible side effects. • Get medical treatment for pain during sex that will not go away or fatigue. • If you are in menopause, see a gynecologist or an endocrinologist. • If there are no physical causes, see a licensed mental health professional to find out if your loss of desire could be related to feelings of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or relationship conflict.
  12. 12. Sexual Functioning Concerns and How to Find Help Negative thoughts and feelings during sex • Women often find themselves distracted during sex by negative images and thoughts • Try focusing on pleasurable feelings in your body or on a sexy thought or fantasy. • Support from mental health professional who can help you change negative feeling and thinking patterns
  13. 13. Sexual Functioning Concerns and How to Find Help Vaginal dryness and tightness, making sexual activity uncomfortable or painful • Talk with a gynecologist • Over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers for before and during sexual activity. • You also may benefit from learning to control the muscles around the vaginal entrance. • Some women can benefit from low- dose vaginal estrogen in a cream, tablet or ring form.
  14. 14. Vaginal Renewal 1. Moisturizing the skin of vulva and vagina 2. Massaging your vulva 3. Internal massage
  15. 15. Sexual Functioning Concerns and How to Find Help Difficulty feeling pleasure during sex • If you have lost feeling in an area of your body that gave sexual pleasure you may need to find new caresses that you enjoy. • Communicate with your partner. • Ask for a referral to a sex therapist who specializes in treating cancer survivors.
  16. 16. Sexual Functioning Concerns and How to Find Help Difficulty reaching orgasm • Ask your health care team to check your medications. Antidepressants or anti- anxiety medicines may make it more difficult for you to have an orgasm. • Give yourself time. Try not to pressure yourself to have an orgasm. Try to have a goal of enjoying sex and getting as much pleasure as possible. The nerves that help a woman feel pleasure around the clitoris and in the vagina are rarely damaged by cancer treatment.
  17. 17. Kegel Exercise •Frequency •Duration •Intensity
  18. 18. Sensate Focus Stage 1 •Without genital touch Stage 2 •With genital touch Stage 3 •Go with the flow
  19. 19. • Enjoying being close to each other • Touching and stroking • Kissing • Massaging • Talking • Holding hands Focus on Showing your Feelings for One Another in Other Ways by
  20. 20. Communication • Code Words • Red, Yellow, Green • Open Ended Questions • Closed Ended Questions • Scale 1 to 10
  21. 21. Why Do Medical and Mental Health Care Professionals Need to Understand Sexual Problems? Sexual problems have an adverse effect on interpersonal relationships and the quality of life. Copyright 2012 Eros Coaching
  22. 22. Single Women with Breast Cancer - if Dating and want a Serious Relationship • Find a friend • Practice • Be honest • Put yourself in a potential partner's place • Move on
  23. 23. 1. Sex Is Bigger Than Any Body Part 2. Even If You’re Afraid To Ask — Ask 3. Don’t Wait, Act Now 4. You Are Not Alone 5. Don’t Give Up Takeaways
  24. 24. Thank you! Martha Lee Clinical Sexologist Eros Coaching Pte Ltd Website: www.eroscoaching.com Email: drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com

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Maintaining a Healthy Psychosocial & Psychosexual Lifestyle at "Thriving thr Breast Cancer" organised by Breast Cancer Welfare Association Malaysia in Kuala Lumpur on Sat 13 August 2016. Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching since 2009. She is a certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists), as well as a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. Website: http://www.eroscoaching.com.

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