The Culture of SwingingThe Culture of Swinging
• Provides sexual variety for the man who
cannot afford a harem or a mistress or risk a
clandestine affair
• Clear distinctions are made between one’s
spouse and those who are play partners
• No Sex Object / Success Object Exchange
• Female popularity based on willingness to
say “yes.”
• Male popularity based on appearing kind,
considerate and sensitive to women’s needs.
Variations in SwingingVariations in Swinging
• Watch / Be Watched
• Engage Others As a Couple
• Create a Three (or More) Way Menage
• Engage Others As a Single
• Anonymous Sex
• Regular Play Partners
• Regular Play Community
Reasons Couples SwingReasons Couples Swing
• Enhance Their Relationship
– Discuss people / adventures
– Expand erotic repertoire
– Sex is for FUN
• Be Part of a Social Community
– Friends/Activities
– Bonded through group sexuality
– Reduce possibility of “special” relationships
Swinging and AIDSSwinging and AIDS
• Minnesota Club Tests
• Lifestyles Organization Response
• By 1987 50% drop in attendance
• 1980s books on adultery and gender
dynamics
– Contrast to 60s and 70s books on open
marriage and communalism.
Swinging TodaySwinging Today
• House Parties (private)
• Membership Clubs
– New Horizons, LA Couples, Lush Club
• Hotel Dances
• Vacations and Resorts
– Hedonism II, Lifestyles, Caliente
• Conventions
• Internet
– Personal Ads, Links to Clubs
Sperm Competition
Syndrome
Sperm Competition
Syndrome
• Evolutionary Psychology Theory
• When men witness their partners having
sex with other men their own desire to
inseminate their wives is increased
promulgating an inter-uterine sperm war
How Swinging Limits
Jealousy
How Swinging Limits
Jealousy
• No Elaborate Seduction
– taste but don’t surrender
• Limited Sharing
– preserve social/legal monogamy
• Safer Sex
– viral and emotional
Microdrama IMicrodrama I
• Moment of Fear
– watching partner look lost in someone
else’s embrace…in passionate kisses
– watching their body melt into someone else
• Joy, Relief and Wild Passion
– partner returns! (connection is reaffirmed)
– momentary fears of loss and abandonment
are over, BUT the adrenaline is still there
Microdrama II
(the other side)
Microdrama II
(the other side)
• Your partner is watching you make love
with someone else
– in some moments you’re lost in the
embrace, the kiss, the considered passion
– in other moments you sense your partner’s
fears--you might never return
– these fears confirm their passion for you
– this fires up your adrenaline
Microdrama III
(the return)
Microdrama III
(the return)
• You bring the passion you created back
to your partner
• This passion becomes part of your own
home fire
• The adrenaline cycle becomes so
satisfying that both of you openly invite
more microdramas into your core
relationship
How Women Become
Swingers
How Women Become
Swingers
• Husband’s Fantasy
• Safely Practice Bisexuality
• High Sex Drive
• Curiosity
Why Single Women
Swing
Why Single Women
Swing
• Enjoy Sex
• Emotionally Secure
• Financially Independent
• Not Necessarily Looking for a Relationship
Why Women Leave
Swinging
Why Women Leave
Swinging
• Not Fulfilling
• Trouble with STDs
• Husband Too Jealous
• Difficulty finding compatible partners
• Other obligations (family, work, etc.)
• Marriage Ends
Why Women Stay
Swingers
Why Women Stay
Swingers
• Shift in Consciousness
• Enjoy the Freedom to Express Themselves
Sexually
• Bond with other Women
• Women Controlled Scene
• Enjoy Voyeurism/Exhibitionism
• Free to be a Slut and Still be safely Married