Kicking impostor syndrome in the head

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The extended version of "Kicking Impostor Syndrome In The Head" as delivered at Open Source Bridge '13

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Kicking impostor syndrome in the head

  1. 1. Kicking ImpostorSyndrome In The HeadDenise PaolucciDreamwidth Studiosdenise@dreamwidth.orgTuesday, June 18, 13
  2. 2. Impostor Syndrome“...a psychological phenomenon in whichpeople are unable to internalize theiraccomplishments. Despite external evidence oftheir competence, those with the syndromeremain convinced they are frauds and do notdeserve the success they have achieved. Proofof success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as aresult of deceiving others into thinking theyare more intelligent and competent than theybelieve themselves to be.”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndromeTuesday, June 18, 13
  3. 3. Impostor SyndromeOH CRAP, ANY MINUTEEVERYONES GOING TOFIGURE OUT I HAVEABSOLUTELYNO IDEAWHAT I’M DOING.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  4. 4. Diagnosing yourImpostor SyndromeTuesday, June 18, 13
  5. 5. “You and John and Janeare all so good at whatyou do!”Tuesday, June 18, 13
  6. 6. Thanks! I really enjoyworking with them.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  7. 7. They’re good at this.I’m just good atpretending.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  8. 8. “I always look up toyou as a role model!”Tuesday, June 18, 13
  9. 9. Thanks! I’m really glad Ican help inspire you.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  10. 10. You wouldn’t if youknew how bad at this Ireally am.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  11. 11. “You’re always so goodat solving problems forothers!”Tuesday, June 18, 13
  12. 12. Thanks! We all helpeach other outwhenever we can.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  13. 13. Except for that one mistake. Andthe other one. And that reallyhuge one. And the time I brokeeverything and everybody had toclean up my mistakes and then Ispent a week hiding because I feltguilty and was sure thateverybody was going to blameme for wasting all their time and ITuesday, June 18, 13
  14. 14. (breathe.)Tuesday, June 18, 13
  15. 15. Tuesday, June 18, 13
  16. 16. Why ImpostorSyndrome Sucks :(Tuesday, June 18, 13
  17. 17. • Impossible to take pride in your work.Why ImpostorSyndrome Sucks :(Tuesday, June 18, 13
  18. 18. • Impossible to take pride in your work.• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.Why ImpostorSyndrome Sucks :(Tuesday, June 18, 13
  19. 19. • Impossible to take pride in your work.• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.• Prevents others from having perspective too.Why ImpostorSyndrome Sucks :(Tuesday, June 18, 13
  20. 20. • Impossible to take pride in your work.• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.• Prevents others from having perspective too.• It makes you feel like crap :(Why ImpostorSyndrome Sucks :(Tuesday, June 18, 13
  21. 21. Helping yourselfTuesday, June 18, 13
  22. 22. 0.Talk about the issue.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  23. 23. 1.Watch your language:some ideas are self-reinforcing.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  24. 24. Such as...Tuesday, June 18, 13
  25. 25. • “Just”,“Only”, and other minimizersSuch as...Tuesday, June 18, 13
  26. 26. • “Just”,“Only”, and other minimizers• “I think”,“I don’t know if”, and otherqualifiersSuch as...Tuesday, June 18, 13
  27. 27. • “Just”,“Only”, and other minimizers• “I think”,“I don’t know if”, and otherqualifiers• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”Such as...Tuesday, June 18, 13
  28. 28. • “Just”,“Only”, and other minimizers• “I think”,“I don’t know if”, and otherqualifiers• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”• “Should”Such as...Tuesday, June 18, 13
  29. 29. CC-BY-NC-SA http://www.flickr.com/photos/starfive/6729394929(these are really hard.)Tuesday, June 18, 13
  30. 30. 2.Teach what you know.(Even if you think youdon’t know it.)Tuesday, June 18, 13
  31. 31. 3.Question corrections.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  32. 32. 4.Ask questions early andoften.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  33. 33. 5.Ask for perspectivechecks from a friend.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  34. 34. 6.List youraccomplishments.(Own them.)Tuesday, June 18, 13
  35. 35. Tuesday, June 18, 13
  36. 36. 7.Practice acceptingcompliments.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  37. 37. Help others.(Especially if you’re in aposition of power.)Tuesday, June 18, 13
  38. 38. 0.Talk about the issue!Tuesday, June 18, 13
  39. 39. 1.Take questionsseriously.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  40. 40. 2.Make mistakes publicly.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  41. 41. 3.Call out others’accomplishments,especially high-effortones.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  42. 42. 4.Document things that“everyone knows”.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  43. 43. 5.Make it no big deal forpeople to ask for helpor admit defeat.Tuesday, June 18, 13
  44. 44. Thank you!(It’s audienceparticipation time.)Denise PaolucciDreamwidth Studiosdenise@dreamwidth.orgTuesday, June 18, 13

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