Wj , i o , , o t o r . . H i , e v e r y b o d y , I sr+"rillc h o f y o u h e r e k_*-                                   ...
oldilocks:No he didnt. In thestorv vour Crannv                     tYol.f                                                 ...
z                                                     _      ryfpgoe_surouod.u,cr,ng..                                    ...
I                                                                    lv      brella: Yhos that?                           ...
lhat                                                                                       Hound: Royalfigule?You meanroun...
t-                                                          -/  abyBear: I lovedit, especially Ugly Sisrers.              ...
Htntsmii: Of course  not,I havenigot theheart. But                   Rellection:Not you, you wrinkledwartface!         I c...
wharsrhat                                                                                     Queen:        noise?        ...
2           Kto,B        ..,j,jiHrLLERi .r.,,.          .i:.MILLER I S DAUGHTER             RUMPELSTTLTSKIN          t{Ess...
&                                                                                          ,i; ;                          ...
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Alas in blunderland


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Alas in blunderland

  1. 1. Wj , i o , , o t o r . . H i , e v e r y b o d y , I sr+"rillc h o f y o u h e r e k_*- upposeea W-, .f:iasheard Goldilncks... Little RedRidingHood ... -,. of Baby Bear:How do you think I feel?Ill missschooi. ui Cinderella Snow White andtheSeven .. Diarfs? - i ri n , n But we cantstopthefairy-talecanwe? l burdid youknow thatonedaytheymer? yes, they AeV*_L did, andmanymore timesbesides. it was along 7 Oh, DaddyBear: You meanto teJlme thatwe just ignore time agoin a farawaylandcailedBlunderiand. our breakfasts, jobs andour appointments, for our io Brunderrand waswonderrur rtwas dby a piace. rure a , lJ]1;,1::1t:1;T;l$*:t:tt.H;.Ti: H:t:"i - firn-loving * King who hada fun-lovingwife calledThe Who wrotefhii storyaryhow? locla intobui house? and Queen, theyhad a fun-lovingsoncalledThe ,brot Princel BabyBear: Er ... I thinkit was a ... a ... a ... oh emagain? ybah huriran a ch a " AIsoliving Brunderland time Gordi- in atrhat was ol#t #il:all lock. However,Goldilocks wasn,taiwaysasgoodas gold asour storybook mightsuggest. Indeed-at times MammyBear: A what? shecouldbe a horriblelittle wretch.But look ... see BabyBear: A human being- you know,those things for yourselfbecause sheis, thatpestfro*qthe here with no fur except theirheads. on They think they west, Goldilocks! t f ,/ owntheplaceandthatallanimalsaredumb. b" 6 (Enter Gotditocks.) vi {pd^b )- / Atreasi I;::!^!r,;:;:fXl,j:if,l;ff:#l:.rt Goldiloclcs: sits toss-leggedhand. chin)l, m (s/re to weIl getsomeair. feciupi No-oneto play withl N*o-one bullyl So-on. to (E*it Bears.Goldilocksbreal freeze.Shelaughs to thur::pl No-oneto mangle!StiU ... not a badday boldly.) for tormentingbears.(.S/re stands,spots bear a ho,use.)altootclAbearhousetTtintiirU?*l. ^ Goldiloclcs:Mmm...Ismellponidge.TbinkIllnip windovr!(Picksup a large srone... prercnAs throw b . in andgraba bite to eat. and thenholdsa freeze-) r r, rla;a Goldilocl<s:Mmm delicious. thinklll eatthe ... I u-22-> wholelotl (EnterNarrator.) the with bowl in hand she walkstowards (Stilteating, i%*rhink Narrator: (looksat Gotd,itocks at aud.ience) rhen see i,l[ give Red RidingHooda whatl.mean?fy*.y,earlierthatmorningrherewas ri";di tq -- hhle :}ijil111-H::;..o^^-.-.^..,, get up?If il[ammyBear; Dddy Bear,would you ever --.-.-qrE : @iatsinumbl; thecardoesnt startyoull be latefor work, thepoor childwill be latefor school,andIll missmy appoinr- mentwith thevet. t* (EnterDaddyBear.) 4.r,rt y0# z*QWot Daddy Bear:Younever moaning. nagnag stop Nag; f >:F:-- ... morning, noon nighrlWheres ponidge? and rny you Hood.. betit waslMy ne.1:oro{ ;t/ M Riding (tr{ammy Bear handshim a bowl and. spoon.) a bikeli a dingerlRight,whereshallwe srart? Ivfammy ear:Now whos moaningandnagging? B Goldilork: Tjrechairs? R ed RidingHood: Right! (EnterBaby Bear.) "ii*:;:nli:ru;::ilJ.nli1:r.::iJi:i:"ib*,ri;i::;::{# in thebook 4un, | -fl : They aboutlaughing) ease Thel about fatl fall laughin r irtamryyBeal; Whatbook? " C%aajlocks: tharwasgreat. Oh, Bab7Bear:itsaysinthebookthatwethreebearsgo< for a rvaik conveniently Goldilocks come ahd allorv to Red RidingHood:Sure was. ,t , , in andwreck house. the Goldilocl<s: bears I hate I tI I Dadtly Eear:Go a walk? for what about job? my lltl<A *oodr I hatewolves of ihemGf one t,|vfantmy And my appoinrment thevet? Bear; wirh Er!#,1*r i
  2. 2. oldilocks:No he didnt. In thestorv vour Crannv tYol.f 2: Yeah,you know - bobksandfairytales. wasnteaten. Baby Bea.r:O.h, you meanhumanbooks.iegends, - myths,fair;tales all that Crimm stuff? and RedRiding Hood: Qh, thatwas only thepublished story.The foliowing day the Big Bad Wolf came 1lo{ !: Exactly!Well, we gor on thephoneto theKin back,spottedGrannyhangingout her bloomers, and a.nd Queen andPrinceof Blunderland. Thev said . Snap... onebiteandbye bye Granny! theydbe delighted comearoundto discuss to the matter with us. Goldiloctcs:Is true,Red? that BabyBear: What time will they be here? RedRiding Hood:Hey, Goldiel Im a humanbeing. Would I lie? lYolf 1: Oh, in aboutthreeseconds. Goldilo clcs Soundspretty painful. : WolvesandBears: ene... two ... three... RedRidingHoodr you bet.you could hearher screaming miles. for (Loud bangingon door, Enter King, eueen and (Theyhear voices.) Prince of Blunderland) . Hey,whos that? Mammy Bear..Bangon time! Comein, your majesties. Goldilocks:Dunno. Must be the Bears.Irt,s hide. - A&, (Theyspamperof to hide.) ;;;;i6 King: Hi, there, hairyfuny forestfriends! , oh yar:to.r: But-it wasnt the Bears. wastheirfriends It €%rves andBears: Heilo, fleshy royal ones. I" rne iyolves, who wantedto tell theBearsabouta very important meeting. (Theynod, shake pawslhandsetc. TheKing helpsthe Queeninto her seatand stan^ on her rigit. Tie (Exil Narrator. Enter Wolves,) Prince sitson her lap suckinghisttumb. The atrimals sit ot thefloor facing them.Baby Bear and the prince lYo[ I : WherearetheBears? eye eachother menacingly,) lYolf2:Don,t know.Their car is parkedoutside. theyvegonefor a stroll. Strrng.ttrougir, this Prince:Mammy. Y.yb: place a bit of a mess. is Queen:yes, love? lYolf 3: I hopetheyll be backfor themeeting. Pince:I dontlike ,em. IVolf 1: Yes indeed. - I Today is the dayfor serting Qiein:Why,love? | therecordstraight. I to front stage;addresses aud.ience.) Prince:Cos have hairon ,emandY"lF they all theysmell. l ne humans haveaccused of blowing down me belonginsro threelittle pigs. Babylgr_t:r Bear:Who youcalling are hairyandsmelly,lYolf 2.:(walksto frout stage.)nna they accused me * , . youbaldylittlewhipperrnupprr? till I get Wait myof terrifyinga little boy calledpeter.nd his Grandad. paws ya! intolYotf3: (w,alks front.)Thehumans to accused of meeatingRedRidingHood,sGranny. .,{mq borh for eacltother,butmotlters go and. intervene peace restored.) fatlters and b(To other wolves.) . King:Well,now,my good friends, believe have I youHey,did you hcara noise? a problem.(Enter Bears. Tlrcy exchangebear hugsandpaw_ MamnyBear: (sfterrses)your majesty, some forshakes.) years thehumans been now have writingterrible whichtheycall,fairytales. stories These stories alwaysshow humans Ue to wonJeifuJ ui animafs anaBabl,Beo,r: Wolves. Hi, Whatsthescene? to bedreadful.Ilolf 1: Weli, Baby Bear,we thoughtit was abour Wolf2: Yeah, mean wasaccused terrifyine I I oftime therecordwassetstraight. - I perer. somqjeriecalled I -- b81illantntyBear; The record? Wolf I 3: I amsupposed have to eaten Granny. a
  3. 3. z _ ryfpgoe_surouod.u,cr,ng.. *r^, _, _, rurammy B r*y*i"i;fuffi"# : ea. trrultIrt!Desr. rlley InrnKI caot evenmakeponidg-e ?- ^,i n, tr::i;iffi,ffxr, tsffiIi#{,# "- u0noxw.us!Theyllonlybe theoneswio gJi &ed inmyqueue around laal.a.ey: gooks scratching t rorY{o?on s his / ^ nwaiting :rtreyitrlntsuiiioi aop"r rt , sll, up: rwo " ? {,j.lf::: tle neighbours. annoy {:u "*,r@.Lur dooing //will (AIIanimatsnodandagreewith each other) 1: ob.noxio^, *.an,u*r,orro,u. .uggot to call us King:(rises) ugly Comenow,my goodcreatures, all not i fairytalesareit suchbad taste.We havemany more chaming fairytal"r;r,n #rr#ii."0"","?.,tii" ogs r"t, I Brutal:Yeah heeveu totha.t little and talks dirty - "" cin- in tha* - --r noanimalswhich ,na ia them and --:__, - _- I clers ders. I you ioui I I families enjoyl can I I fo, both giggte.) | Wolvesand Bears..Really? Obnoxious:Comealong,Brutal darling.Let,s put - . the Yes.Forexampieihave ever poor mbn out of theirmisery. Queen: you heard of Cinderella? Brutal: Oka1,, pet, ebnoxious leadthewavto thebus .4,/I;Cinderella? sropr (.LW) (Giggling, they leave.Enter Cinders.) _Ellt ]ggf Is thatumbrella,s cousin? MammyBear: Ssh,BabyBear. Sorryabout that, Cinders: was her,Buttons, was her! Shesaid It it she Queen. carry Please on. thought might havea problemandshedbe I overin abouUesiseconds. Queen: its a iovelystory, Oh, isntit, darliq.g? r I - King: lt certainly my sweet andyoushallall see is, it. BringonCinderella! (Theyall leaveand sit at thefront of the .aunonsi wtrlC.,g.rr..un* cr"r"st _ ^ftLrry Crnaers; ffrUglySisters going rhe and are to ball I Cinders: FairyGodmother, Oh, you,ve idea no how t can,tgo. miserabieam.My nnoUgiy Sisten I have gone the to I ball andIm left behind covered muckanddirt, in Buttons:Why not? dressed ragsandfeeiing in reallyblue. I Cinden-Look me Im filthyand haven,t a at I I got Fairy Godmother:Yes, areabit messy you looking thingtowear. arentyou? I i Buttons: seeyourpoint.(Siebawls I evenloud.er Cind,ers:What I going do? am to now.) listen, But sureiy youve a FairyGod- I gor motnerl pudding you go lairy Godmotler.. problem, No pie. to thatdooroverthere, ciose behind hrocksix it you, Cjnd1rc:Yes,of course have. been I Ive tryingto times say: and ringherail ngming butshes norans*eririg just th. phone.Nobody loves Notiven you,Bunoni! me. *- DirtyCinders dirtynomore aint ET Buttons:Thars tnse! ff,$t/ l-,H.t"ty * shewaiks ,lrough door.--u1; the nor (phone ringsoff stage, >tL"fi lVaitlThats phonet youanswer the it? tviaybe hir. ivi,yioo,, its Buttons: goodness, ) | h a nsrqrt ut uilf.i l My Cinders, lookabsolutely youe% vw , Fairy Godmof&er:Yes,you do, my doteyhonev. Just Cinders: Okay, it,ll probably a wrong bur be nurnber. onething though. backby midnigit or else... Be -- (E:it Fairy Godmother. Loud bangingat door.) Obnorious: Were to rhe toniqht. otf ball kuqtr,^tc
  4. 4. I lv brella: Yhos that? 5, ) rr t r c e l at ila sI t c tts-Loo Ltrt gsil//istutgu Uus: U Ett, I .. youreeve worse.I wouldntdancc with either n of e-Eoes door and looksout,) to -, you if you weretheonly two womenleft on earth. Its a coachrnan sixwhitehorses. with Cinders. voure Besides, toniehtIve fallenin lovewith ... whatthe goingrorhebail. ; - lwasher*name? diclnttell me. (Roars.) She FrJi- d n*tC Detectives HoundandDos comehere! Buttons:I betshemeets handsilme a princeandfalls in lovewith him. Ah well, if thatswhal makes hoppy, thenso be it! (Exit Brutons. EnterNarrator.) r.a:: C^,1" F t".9 C You called, mlord? At your service, your eminence, PrinceFantasticus-Lcok;n;snnshingaDus; want you to I Narqator:That night at the ball PrinceFa tracethelady with whom I spent, evening the dancing. Lookingsmashingabus take eyes couldnt his off Cinderella. D og : Y erywcll sir. (Takesoulnote book.)Ller.name? -Lookingsmoshin abus; Do vouP i nceF antasticus g P rince Fantaslicus-Lookin g.smashingaltus; didnt say. Shecomehereoften? Dog: Oh.Her address?Cinderella:Only whenmy Fairy Godmothersendsme here.(Theybothgiggle.) iPi n ceF anta sticut-L ookingsmashi ng abus.Any schancc me walkingyou home? of Hou,nd:I-ets get this straightYou want us to find a nameless,Cinderella:Hardly. addressless, phone-numberless person?P rinceF an tasti us-Lo oking snrash g abusrWhy? c in P ri n ceF anI ast i cus- Lookin gs n:rl,sin g abus,.yes. (M u Ies to h mb himselfl Well . .. muybeIm a bit hard of hearin (Loudlyto g. de-Ciy!e_r.el!1:live sixty-three I miles away. tectives) ThatswhatI ouf uou for, to solvethi tc unsoivable,P rinceF antasticu e un s-Lookingsnnshingahrs,,Oh, well, -possible fi ndable,. o fi {.r";;, ;f : ;; scov er.a Ie, ro rhak .[d,ttr r bpcrhaps phoncnumber a whereI couldcontact theimpossibl"! e vou, N;*;d;iilJii porriur._ solve,findWe could catcha movie, or go to the fairgrounj, anddiscover! inibblesomecandy-floss, up a Big lr{ac.,.. , pick Dog: Any cluesat all? ]Cinderella:Why, thSt,dibe nutffi sure, gr..t. Prin ceF an|asti ctts_Lookin gsmash ga brs., none in No,:ouldyou tell me thetimi? at all. Wait,there one.Thatsherslipperl is (pointsto fallen slipper.)And shedid say tharslie lives sixty-i n ceF an tasti tts.Lookingsnrc shin abus: Ah, c g tlrree milesaway.elax, , J its earlyyet.)inderella:How early? ffi ysixty-three :J-: iil5ffil,H f, ff,H, mile radius. xTiTxJ f, Thatshouldnt too difticurt, beo.tri n ceF an tasti s-Lookingsnrcs i g s^tl should Hound? it, cu h n ab us:It{aboutr{tr seconds midnight. to / 3 I{owd: No problem,Dog!inderella: What? P rinceF an tasticus-Lookirr rtras gabrs;Get gs linTrinc on to eF an rasticus-Lookin gsmashi us: Where it at onceandIet me know whenyouie foundher. ngab JrZl Narrqtor:! she Wry didshe Wasit s;merhingsaid? . go? go? I (A,s speaks,Hound and Dog minre an interyiew at heFnoxious:Ah, her.She,s a door of a lrcuse.They tunt away and forgct boring. ,,^ :I1* faceaudienceuahmorecxciling. whenNamator linishes.) Giveusa dancc, lenJt-,re- ohEdtpone. llound and Dog sniffedout everyclue,but kept corning against up brick walls.dvery womanin the .PrtqL!1 {.ret Incei lost. country seemed be theownerof theslipper. to J.+#:;;rosr. Heprcferssomeone a bir f--- rvith (Exit Narrator.) .. stylc. Dontyou,srveetie. letsboogie! Now I{o.und:Well, Dog, thatseveryhousesixty-three milesfrornthepalace. What clowe do nowi
  5. 5. lhat Hound: Royalfigule?You meanroundligure! ten wouldnt fit you if it was stretched times. slipper -7 Takeit off at onceandgive it to her .. . thequiet -! Prettyone.Dog; i dunno.Im afraidto go backto baie Hc canbe Fantasticus-Lookingsmashreally meanat times,that ?r-ince (Pointsto Cinders.).ingabus!Whatsthatnoise? Brutll:H.ul ButthatsCindels! and(Enterobnoxious Brutal, Cind,ers slapping around. head the ! :illtl !i;iiii;ii::! andpitshingher,) o.bnoxious; oniyasmall Shes cinocf soot-sweeping r "i"&:9, , cieaner obnoxious(ou4t"tlit+bffuC .l / r -^ ----- -- .^tBrutat:you brat! didn,t creankitchen iittre why you the noorIast night? f,:iij;Jj||*J#,n:}jj,:"rt,|,T,!ii:ffiil.-^i""S tlts rturs rur rervreur do it! . lbnoxious:Yeah, wherewere you? shoereluctantly.Cinders @rutal hands Cindersthe up) triesit on and standscinders:I went to bedearly.I hadan awful headache.Brutal:you,il have onewhenwere finished Cinders:ithink its a little tight.You see, dirced so I "*ors"*i,t yoo. (Thq,re just aboutto give her a beatingwhenHound Call lhe Princel Weve found ber! Dog: (escitedty) callsthem.) Hound: (roars)Prince Fantasticus-looking Hound: Ladies, ladies, - please no violence!Now " smashingabus! then, Now, ladies,it is our duty asper thats better. * - --- ---:^r-r PrinceFantasti Dog:Thatwas quickl ,oJ a.t..tiues to His Wonderfulness You bet - cus-Lookingsmashingabus find the owner of this to Pince FantasticusLookingsmashingabzs: aid is-adingerl lts herl Shesa little siiver siipper.Shewho fits the shoeshall fit theiole rrr u Juuerq ^* rv rv ."^,*y n* hearing ( of princess. {airty,uof,"iti, I goodbar of souptil-. *tJ::::::, my rnncessl " dreis-making,add a nice@g ;-Yes By theway, whatsyour namer p1t2 mine! Its got me written ail overit! Obnoxious:Its Brutal:How couidit be t wheuits just asking yours Cinden But you cancall me Cinderella Cinders: r iormv foot left can come in *,,., ffi.tt,flifffL.oo sottoos. he tolive (Thq push and shove each other in their effortsto the palacetoo? grab theshoe from theHound.) bfH r ^^,.!--ot b!io PrinceFantasticusLookingsmashingabus:oi t[r..*,J aftermy Dog; Ladies, please. One at a time.Good.Now would course can.I needsomeone look he to -vouplease down andwait your turn. sit q vteqr Abnoxious: fits, oh it fits. lts so comfie,oh,its like a cieannappY It "-" "^"t Buttons: can I what?They dont call me Jockey on a baby,sbum.I,m goingto marrya prince. thewavboss "ffiryy;n t*:ttt: Dog:rmafraid getnoughr of tenfor that you out tittteact.Nate theElephantwouidhaveabetterchancethanyouNowtake.itoffxah&oiAid-gutsswhatfolks?Yesyou afrytl andgivethatbrutal-iooking sister yoursa chance. - of LY.V,^: - they all livedhappill,evgr 1 17 Nt flot -? ?)d-/ k (" 9*h huu " King Brutal:Howyou my sweetie? did know name, ;_ _ X:i:(:f;:j,_ aueenanaflf" "in:;::lry;!:Bears Hurry we Dog; up. havent all got dav. CJ{+ W&*"i4:ffK Brutal:Ooh I feltthatl ... - Xing; did story) Well, youlikdthat 1^ f"c(-r (Slreis aboutto fight but looksat Dog and Hound Wolf 1: It was brilliant! who are in no moodfor any more nonsense. tries She lYolf 2z Fantastic!", ontheshoe) llts wo{f3:superr perfect. goodness, made thisslipper. Oh I was for ilhank vou,God, turning intoa royalfigure, for me Bear:Veryinteresting. Daddy i il,Iammy (Wipes from eyes.) BearzTouching. tear ii.-*-
  6. 6. t- -/ abyBear: I lovedit, especially Ugly Sisrers. the Retlection: Not you, you horrible-lookingcowl yourmajesties, alwaysthought You see, we you humansthought you wereall beautiful. that llicked Queen:What areyou talking about? Whatare yousaying?DaddyBear: All humans look thesameto me. Reflection:Its quitesimple.Up untii now you usedIvlanrmyBear; Do you haveany morewonderful to be themostbeautiful womanin all theland.But like that- with horriblehumans them?stories now Im afraid thatyourlovetystep-daughter Snow in White is morebeautiful.Prince:Thousandsl Wicked What? Queen: Thatscrazy. Millions!Queen: Retlection:Sorry.I may be a Magic Mirror but I have to tell the truth. Haveyou everheard ,SnowXrng; Quintrillions! oflVhite andthe SevenDwarfs? lYickedQueen: Guards!Take it away. I (Enrer Guards.TheyremoveMirror.) C .,/ ilnlfL I0, l{;(o.All:Nol t .fz/ lr (., Huntsman! (EnterHarry Huntr^on.1 )y9King:Bring on theSnowWhite story.Comc, hlw)f{iends, us sit andwatch morefun in Blunderland! let Huntsman: You called,your highness.Narrator: Seeher?Thats theWickedeuein.,Do you know SnowWhite to theforestand lYickedQueen.Takewhy shgsmad angry? Well, you see,sherecentlymarried Leaveher for dead. chopout her heart.the King. He andhis first wife had a beautifulchild calledSnowWhite.Whenhis wifedied, the King marriedagain. Huntsman: But, your highness, thatsmurderin theHis new wife, here(Fnsbwickd Oueen) usedto bb themostbeautiful womanin theland. Every day shewould askher first degree.h{agicMinor whowasthefairestof themall.The Minor usedtorepll,You arethemostbeautifulin all theworld! But one lYickcdQueen:Justdo asyoure told, Huntsman, ordavthe Queen a nasg shock.(Exit Narrator,) got you toowill getthechop. bring in my Magic Mirror.lllickedQueen.Guards, (Both exit.EnterNanator.)Guard1: Will thatbe all, Madam? Narrator: And so poorHarry Huntsman hadhislf ickedQueen: Yesl Now get out! orders chopout SnowWhites heartandleaveher to i for deadin theforest.But the question wasHarry is: your mostwonderfulone.Guard2: Certainly, Huntsman hard.X.enoughhatchet to hearts heart- so lessly? Guard1: Justcall if you needus,Madam. Guard2: Yeah, just give us a shout. | - y - (Exit Narrator. Enter Snow lWite with Harry Hunts- * man.) lYickedQueen:Get out! {(Exit Guards.)Now, then,whathavewe here? SnowlYhite:Youve beenvery quiettoday,Harry.Is theresomething yourmind? onlYicked Queen: Okay,lets begin. Ir,[irror.Mirror on my wall, Huntsman:No, oh prettyone.Who is the fairest and the most gorgeousof them all? 1^r - Snow|Yhite:You seemvery downhearted in fact, quitebrokenhearted. Not you,you ugly-lookingbat.Reflection: Htrnlsman:(he brealudownin tears)Oh, Snow White,I haveinstructions chopout your heartand tolYicked How dareyou! Queen: leaveyou for deaddeepin the forest.The Wicked - Queen jealous yourbeautY. is of(Slrcslaps cheeks at thesametinre Reflections slaps back.)Refiectiotr her SnowlYhite: thatscrazy.lm only eight. Buti}ollr; Ouch!Dont do thatagainl Iluntsnan: I know,but shessojealous minds her gonewild. Shewantsyou dead.Finito, Caput.ByelYicked l-etsstartagain. Queen: byeforever! Mirrorin mv hallIvlirror. But, Harry,yourenot goingto ... Strowllhitc:Whois theprettiest them of all?
  7. 7. Htntsmii: Of course not,I havenigot theheart. But Rellection:Not you, you wrinkledwartface! I centbringyou backto thepaiace well bothdie. or I)ljust leaveyou here.I know theresa gangof White?With herourof theway who couldpossibly dwarfsaroundheresomewhere. Theyll find you soon -o be morebeautiful thanI? andprobably ^ A adoptyou. Goodbye, little one. (ExitHarry.) ff,.^$nr<,a ReJlectio: SnowWhire n ! lYickedQueen. shesdead. Harry Huntsman But chopped SnoulYhite: Comeback,Harry!Harry ... Oir no,Im out her heart. all alone, wait.WhatsthatI hear?.. . thepitter- But patterof tiny voices.It mustbe - the SevenDwarfs. Reflection: no he didnlt. Oh AttD*arfs: Y"h((q I I I ll I lYickedQueen:What? h rfr/ Hi Ho,Hi Ho, ReJlection: hadntthc heartto chopout her He Its off to rvorkwe go, heart. Weworkall daybutgetnopay, HiHo, Hi Ho,Hi Ho,Hi, Ho. WickedQueen..Then chopout his. Guards, Ill get Harry Huntsman bring me an axe! and . Dv,arf1: Hey.Who thehell is she? Guard1: Too late,your highness, Harrys hopped D v a r f 2 : M y G o d ,s h e s a l l ! t it on horseback. Dx,arf3: Prettytoo! lYickedQueen..Takethis mirror away,Im going to find SnowWhite myself.Ill give her this poisoned ^t Dtarf 4: Prettyawful! apple.Whensheswallowsonebite;shewill sleep Vf - Dxarf 5 : Ah shutup, Grumpy, WickedQueent: Tell me, dear,would you know where I might find the Number22 busstop? Dxarf 6: Dont mindhim, hesalwaysgrumpl. He hates everybody. SnowWhitezSure.Yori walk four miles east,You Numbe{ 7 cometo a hugeoak treewith a sign saying Dwarf 7: Who hateseverybody? 22 busstoptwo milesnorth- you cantmissit. / All Dxarfs: Ah rvakeup, Dozy! lYickedQueen:Oh thankyou, little girl: Please take this appleas a present from me for your help. Dvarf 1: Now, dear,dont worry.lf yourelostwell SrrotvlYhite: Oh thanks! l,{:i:rn ... I love apples. take1ou home.We know this forestlike thebackof (Takes hugebite.) Aaghaagh!... (Shefalk to the our hands, dontwe, boys? floor, holding onto the apple.Shekeepsthe apple she hasbitlen in her mouth.) AII Dwarfs: Suredo! WickedQueen:Ha ha ha! Now thatstheendof her. (EnterNarrator.) Ha ha ha ho ho ho! SnoulYhite; its not thateasy. But All Dwarfs:Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work *. Snow Whitel( {Strcntinres es:plartation. Dwarfs mf,ue,e-l an Thef_sponse,) ) Dtvarf6: Quick,call Doc! Narrator: SnowWhite explained problemto Doc her andtherestof thedwarfs,They told lrer not to worry, D*art 1: Im here.(Hefeelsher pulse.) andjust asHarryHuntsman predicted theyadopted her.Sheworkedin theirtiny cottage keptit nice arrd Dx,arf2: Is shedead? andciean. thatsnot theendof thislittlestorv. But ) Dwarf 1: No. But shes a deepsleep. reckon in I shell (Exit Narrator,SnowWtite atrd. 2" years. onehundred be like thisfor about Unless... Dwarfs,Enter Guardscarrying Rcflection, WickedQueen.The ninte gamebehveen lYickedQueenand Reflectiort what ...? AllDvarfs: Unless beginsagain) princecancomealong Drvarf 1: Unlessa handscme in a flashl lYicked Queen: Dwarf 2: But wherearewe goingto find sucha guy in this forest? lr{irror, Mirroronthewall ; Whois thefairest them of all? j I i
  8. 8. wharsrhat Queen: noise? /uick:you caried, littjeones? oh t nceFiashinquick! yousomeone staying here themoment, f:::;r"^"t at inquick: Theveryman!what seems to w+ft: pfr.Maybeit,s bursiars. at Snow White,) - w -""" " t"EJ Mammy Bear" No. This teePmg beauty! problem! Noprobtem! is a Iovery tlrj,r *"nrn;g,"r.iirE"E neighbourhood - head the and piece apple out of E"n"wakes wntre falls nony aear: rknow.ui.t Gordilocks up) i it,, [o,,y fri;n; i;;-n.a dndher nioing Hood.comeout white: prince! Mv messers lers il;;;y;rn,!1",., here and bd i;;.*. ;::;;;"1"]1,0"""" D_addy Bear; Hold it, son. "- - "stLQunasnndsinfr ontofBa! / A I I Dwa r f s : M y g o o d n e ss! (l vrl C ?t(- t., ^A, L Lt^K4 tr.,ffirliouthishandandstandsinrrontqr u::r l, r m::ii$,:1.!:-"1Yhite mer hero,in.J. ii., f *:;:"*:; t animals llo:" Iand where and peopre married following.y.:k the should together live """ i" it"g. .Jrrr"";fin. i" lr#"ii. Flashinquick paiace. the " All dwa-r-fs-ati-nd.O.Oo. wasbest manandtheyall hadr gr;;;; BabyBear: But,Dad,they Apart,rhat- started it. is fiom Grumpy!snow white, frin., rirrrri,iqui.t 7 Daddy Bear; I know, we can,t oi-rina I ::.rt1l,,""ry,ffffiTtilr"..o,!|j na, - ? i ,r,t,io"y Y€butthe oran to continue. wc s€€r rastafford *.,u.seen rrrior-rny in " "):4T"JL troubie ,.;:"": rvhitercast vtusl9-ei;;.il",i. Jnow Exrt indNarrator. -{ff^rl Enter xirg, Prince,wolvesandBears.) Queen, , !j:!,yrotrue, Daddy to sayfor yourseives? Bear. whath: youtwo got lve BabyBear: Thatwasa fabulous story Gordirocks:*.:: sorry, Bears, we didn,trearise ---" but wr vur Mammy Bear;It brought thatanimais feeiinis.- had tears my eyes. to sucha sweet littlegiri. DaddyBeai: I lovea happyending. rlolf 1: How manyof these my Grannyttt".:_t stories there? ,rr. are attacking I wr l1o.. ".p ,*r, uoou, her. ,ou y,rl,llli"ktheycourdrearycatchonamongthe ::Hiffffij::J$iJJd:$ff;::i,::#, animal children Blunderland. in iii#!"r.,T,T{HilTJrff;:ff1::r;. odd animalprogramme. #*ir*ii*#itiiff:;:r;it,: rrvr tE consider Attackinggrannies ii1 giu. nl. a bad name. j;,;,,n]il,:;ll,l,if :ifv;#,r,l;:.,[ffut:d ii;,yl^ purrn,Hey, stalk. 0*?.t/"|hfu _-. i think time! it,s Queen:Rumpeistirtll*, , ,l Prince:,AJi ,AJaddin,s iF %Cr; , . I-.g1ol. d//;rime what? ror Baba, ,<King: iuteu r-ook, ,"",*nr, *f*iIffi togoand happiry afrer. fr[sAtf,koQueen:Time rive ever r:ri^rt* Babv ver at Bear:No, watch) (Looksi:,li,l,:""!!iffi:ili*fiil.**:n:i;,.* i"i.i..ito",. :ilSi1l?,,:ii.J; rI: ,l "cnrnvolve and or,n. you rewriti .4//: No? honcsriyl iii.* *o* u.o,,":to" There still are three Bear:Hey youcould oursrory.-verrvLr. ]..aby ... ,Boldirocks seconds. call and du ine the Ail: Three hree Super Bears. ... trvo,.. one... ByEl ByEl ByEll]otf3: you could my story cali ,Littie,Me WonderWojf,. Dreaded RidingHood ets
  9. 9. 2 Kto,B ..,j,jiHrLLERi .r.,,. .i:.MILLER I S DAUGHTER RUMPELSTTLTSKIN t{EssENcnReffir eu4fp STORY TELLER llved a K1ng. He washad one .Jaurt, he ioveadi:-;;-";"ii*ululj"Et*rlir[l : sood Klng but heget n o r e . / o n e d a v b l s n e sse n fe i was iii- lt"""tr age] aDout how he couldHTILER, bou are such a good sweet chird. vou turn/cverr, r paea, -vJ"-iiv*tiii good_sweetchild you i"iriZ"erythlng into gold.|+ffl3tl ;,,::"^:TasseratiMTLLER : Hush chlld! ##u!;=iJi"rlfl"n e .SToRYTELLER And : do you know the nessenger rushed back totell the Klng. ilre parace to the vilrase word rhe the is,K r N G :W e l l ! w h a t ! s k e e p i n g y o u ? r e t c h n"riTiiiiiry!lg,".ir::i,*:*":il;"n::::"";l:".g i r r -cne-HE SS EN G E R e s yo u r u l j e i ti t_ rtri i -rniir u#- vour : y at once !K I N G: I l . I d a n s e a j i g _ i f i h r s w o r k s . HaJesty.s,W6aptue-.messe-fg"e?t6tr -]r-aKrNG: Nowdeai, ru! alons into rnv rri}ui"fi" f cffine?r rhe sirr.and a little heap oFstrai i o r y o u "5ii"r,"p;-i;;G-lei . a spinrng wheer to spln into sold ";DAUGHTER, i ""ii";;i_;;ril"j!5.i"-3oi?.tn":lt;"n:::.Krl{G : Jaretlr ! guaidthe 6oor carefully ionight,away. sh€ migrrt }rant to r*nG A UR D y e s s i r ! Wh a t e ve r yo u say Slr . :D A UGH T E R o h F i ss! w h a t ao n : - m.r-g otng to do? How can r .do som ethinggr atirlrposslble. (starts to cry) -- - rs a6aii : w e l l ll ttl e " si rl w r,a i -- tir to you;:$:t sive r ne if r tur n ur is hay inroDAUGHTER am,,"iy noor.ll (*,0* oofui*f *o ftua ld$.. : r rinssXil:ii-T"I 3ff;:":n:":"1d vo"iirt# e1"voui rIlgYfEL : Risht - 1"! me set crackins ?- , Qof$:I3:XT:1":*;-:: e r ! t 1 e r n g a s p " i ",;g soon C t | . l I e a q y . nuuD A U G H ? E R : H e r T.:I:1 i:::_n:1r-:" i i a : " . i I " f f i | t EG":lr-ef/Hiread ready.STORY The s,trange lit$ : man aisapp""i"6l in tlieopen the workroom. mor-ning the klng cane roKiltg :- opeu up Jareth, t@.go!.d thread. Hhat is this f see { spools of Thau rs rarrffii""i *or" g"rdl-i w111 think of sonereward for you later. al yDAUGHTER your Highness please fetl)ffe go [ome :KfNG:Not yet. Tonlght you will spin t"i"t-as much, or fll have your headso see to it ! -*A ,. I
  10. 10. & ,i; ; : i, ]t , Lv- ,j" .., naq-> --)- : Oh Sir rt,s rnpdilibiS.l : Ndbense ne dear. .tlretb You fiuard the nllIer s daughterT€6alght. GUARD! Yes Your HaJestY. DAUGHTER O dear, what w111 I do ? ; 4 RU|PEL : Oh - here I an aga1n, tbls tlne Ir11 have that lovly ndchlace that yourre wearing. DAUGHTER Oh have ltt : f donrt care anylnore. sToRyTELLEn : so once nore tbe funny lltt1e nan sat down at the sPtnnlng wheel and worked for a few hours. In the nornlng all was ready. KING : Gaurd open up. tthy - yes nore gold He.Ll-done-Jy dear. Just one nore tlme lf you do thls you !t111 be ny Queen DAUGHTER Pllase donrt aak Ee to do tbls your Hajesty : KING: Thls is the last tlne. Jareth gaurd the doorltonlght DAuGHTER tonlghi : lft.i" ii nothlng I can do :"; RUMPEL oh yes there ls. : t^-Y DAUGHTER oh no there lsnt. : V -RUMPEL Do you pronise ne whatever I ask : fiioijliit* i""iir have nothine to sive vou. . s r r f h t ( ^ I nuMpsl : That is not what r ask. I ijeijiHieR ; i-nivenottrlns, but I suppose I11 give vou Xh[t Y]u ask. t+uupsL : Right tt is done ! ;. t ,l- tl s@o*-(.eL >cc5: KING: lfell now-ai-e you mi deJr, yon look pale but we will be narried soon. 4 S T O R Y T E L L E R : A ns o t h e y d vtere.The Klng spent rnuch of his tine naklng his I wife happy.The followi.ng year the Queen gave birth to a beautlful baby g1rl.She was thrilled. - KfNG:Now we have everything. r,,f-. STORYTELLER:Butthat night the-little f u n n y m a n c a m e to see the ygung Queen.I RUMPEL: f ,nr here to colleqt. f lI have the baby. . D A U G H T E R : N o tu r b a b y a n y t h i n g o else.Oh please slr I never dld you any harn.why would you harm ne. RUMPEL:TeII you what if you can tell ne teIl rireny nane at the end of three days you can keep your baby.Other-wise the baby is nine. sToRYTELLER:tlr€-trtrfday th6 Queen sent her neiseirger all over the country ^ L-r, seirchlng for nanes.On the }ast flay the ggitCd*..Fd lnterestlng news, g$t+.e.4-j GUARD:Your Majesty,I saw ti?!te" funny llTtle rnari sdylng.pobody will guess ^ril. ny nane for lt is RUHPELS?ILTSKTN DAUGHTER:Oh thank you ,you will be rewarded:. ^ n SToRYTELLER:TIratght. ni I t r_ _ { RLTHPEL:HeIIhave you had any success.dUe-{ 0{ nV 4+E- D A U G H T E R : I st . C h r i s t o p h e r l ?-z 3xU:il,iT"l"t""3f,;ffif( RUHPEL No it is no! : , ? DAUGHTER Is it : ;#+t?crry ? lh{T f. RUMPEL : No it i-s not DAUGHTER Is it Joseph-Hary-Cetdldl : R U M P E L : Oc o u r s e n o t . f D A U G H T E R : T h ein i t R u m p e l s t i l t s k i n &UHPEL: s (BANCINGHIS FOOT ON DOHN} . t1f [c How did yorr f ind otrt.Yotr must be nlagic S T O R Y T E L t , g P . ^ : W e!l l H e w a s s o m a d h e s t a m p e d h i s o t i r e r f o o t s o h a r d t h a t h e dissapesred tlrrQirgh the fl.oQr;.And d,r yoi,l kn,rw hhat?The King and Qrreen and their babl .ltld al. l. thpi f FeqPle li,eci happil-v ever af ter:. I I ..j: