DrSupremeNerds Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths: An Asylum ChallengePart 3: The Unusual SuspectsAsylum Challenge designed by SimScout: One playable Sim, seven uncontrollable Sims, limited funding, furnishings limitedin quality and quantity, challenge ends when the playables LTW is met.Playable:SimNerd, my SimSelf, Knowledge Sim with LTW to Max 7 Skills.Inmates:Uranium Apocalypso (EphemeralToast on boolprop.com/ephemeraltoast on the Exchanges Apocalypso-A-Go-Go), GaiusCaesar (Blite27/Netsfn1427s Ten Caesars), Salahuddin Chamcha (katrih83s Bookacy), Cecil Goodytwoshoes(professorbutters/Loolooloo16plays Squeaky Clean Legacy), Kirstial Legacina (Orikes/orikes360s Pseudo Legacy), VeeSemper (GintasticNecats Science of a Legacy), Cypress Vetinari (DrSupremeNerds Vetinari Dualegacy)
This is where I left you at the end of Part 2: Fortune Sim Cecil, whose crying over the state of his Aspiration is beginning tocut into his bathtub piracy, set fire to his chili. Someone should tell him that the heat in chili is measured in Scoville unitsrather than BTUs.Cecil and Kirstial both took a hit. Gaius, not so much, but then, it wasnt Grilled Cheese that Cecil ignited. Lucky for Cecil thathe just got Aspiration for gaining a Cooking point.Oh, and... its 1:30 in the afternoon, and SimNerd gets home from work at 2. Longest thirty seconds of my life!
SimNerd: "Cecil, if you survive through this, I might just have to kill you myself. I got a promotion! I should be happy! And myAspiration should be that color rather than my plumbbob!"
Cecil: "My word. That was a truly frightening experience."SimNerd: "Cecil! Look! Im smiling and waving! Im not mad at all, see? Why dont you come over here so I can give you ahug or a cookie or a stack of unmarked nonsequential hundred dollar bills or something else equally appealing?"Cecil: "...I do not believe your offer is genuine, nor do I feel that approaching you at this time would be in any way beneficialto my health."But who takes the biggest hit to become the first full-blown Aspiration Failure of the Asylum? Already-distraught Fortune SimCecil? Aspirationally see-sawing Kirstial?
Ah, how the mighty have fallen...Not bragging about your platinum plumbbob now, are ya, Cypress? Guess youve skilled so much that those points you haveleft arent coming so quick, huh?Oh, Schadenfreude*, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... One: Cypress gibbering. Two: Cypress flapping his lips.Three: Cypress in complete and total Aspiration Failure.*Schadenfreude is the word for taking amusement in someone elses suffering. Not to be confused with Schadenfreud, whichis taking amusement in someone elses Oedipus Complex.
Gaius: "You know what? Its not even worth it to try the bathroom anymore."
Cypress: "Aspiration... meter... low... must... skill..."SimNerd: "Have fun with that! Im just gonna serve up some Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and hope that Gaius actually eatsone for a change."Cypress: "Only... other... big... want... See... Ghost..."SimNerd: "Vees right over there, but shes not knocking on Deaths Door right now. In fact, the only one who is is... you."Cypress: "Be... Saved... From... Death... also... acceptable..."SimNerd: "Dude, I wouldnt save you even if I could."No, I dont know really know what Cypresss Want Panel looks like right now, but I can make a pretty good guess.
SimNerd: "Johnny! Come on in and hang out with my seven crazy, evil, in many cases smelly, and in one case, completely offhis rocker, roommates!"Johnny: "Are you sure that this is an appropriate environment for a teenager?"SimNerd: "You know what? Lets just say yes."Johnny: "I dont know..."SimNerd: "Im the adult here, Junior, and I say its okay, now get in there and mingle!"
SimNerd: "Uh... remember what happened last time I did this? Aspiration still hasnt recovered from the fire, and I really dontwanna be joining Cypress in having deep conversations with Dr. Wilson."
Cypress: "What, Dr. Wilson? You say I should attempt to kill more of my fellow inmates? Why, thats a fantastic idea! I feelbetter already!"
SimNerd: "You are SO lucky that worked."Believe me, I know. Dishwashers busted too.SimNerd: "Let me at my arch-nemesis!"
SimNerd: "I do not get eaten by the eels at this time, right?"Youre safe.
Cypress: "Dr. Wilson! I need more of your wisdom! Lots and lots and lots more! Whats the best way to kill Salahuddin? Hessurvived both fires without taking any hits! He must go!"
Salahuddin: "You know, Im not sure this is such a good idea. I mean, I detect a pattern forming..."Cypress: "THE POWER OF DR. WILSON COMPELS ME!"Salahuddin: "And now Im POSITIVE this is a bad idea."
Cecil: "I had a most disturbing nightmare... I was trapped in a bedlam with six murderers and a grumpy SimSelf, and I wasunable to purchase expensive items or work to earn money, and several of my companions spent the day wallowing in theirown filth, and I set my supper on fire..."
Vee: "Oh, look, dinner theater!"Salahuddin: "I think hes doing Hamlet!"Cypress: "Whats that, Dr. Wilson? Hemlock in the omelets? Brilliant!"
Cecil: "Rolling food-related Wants seems to have saved me from Mr. Vetinaris fate."
Cypress and Gaius make Besties. Vee gets chubby. Looks like she needs to hit the Dance Sphere more and the piano less.
Uraniums portrait was an amusing shade of orange, so I had SimNerd turn the TV on to wake her up. I figured the only thingworse than an alive Uranium is a dead, angry, ghostly Uranium.
Salahuddin: "Skill point. Need skill point. Skiiiiiiillllllllll."
Gah, Cecil manages to look creepy even when hes hugging people! If I were Salahuddin, Id be running right about now.
SimNerd: "Explain to me how this is the easy way?"Well, its still faster than falling off the Dance Sphere!
SimNerd: "Look, all this means is that I sort of feel bad when I see you talking to the volleyball."Cypress: "I dont know what you mean--Dr. Wilson is a highly-trained professional."SimNerd: "Im betting youre rolling the Want for a generic skill point or the Want to gain Logic Level Whatever. So weregoing to sit here and youre going to get the stupid point, and youd better get some Aspiration out of it."
Cypress: "Look! Cecils freaking out because his Fun Motive is tanked!"SimNerd: "Wow. I guess the showers been so busy since the fire that he hasnt been able to tub-pirate."
Guess he was rolling a Logic-specific Want. No more Aspiration Desperation for him for a while!...Until the next fire. Then all bets are off.
Salahuddin: "Skiiiiiillllllll..."Cecil: "I highly recommend rolling Eat Omelets, Eat Hamburgers, and Eat Chili con Carne."
Salahuddin: "I cant get at the coffee when Cecil is juggling in front of it!"Cecil: "I would prefer to tub pirate, but this is an acceptable substitute, both in terms of its utility as a fun-booster andevilness."
SimNerd: "Blite! Hey! Come make friends with my crazy people!"Blite: "You brought this on yourself, you know."SimNerd: "Yeah, but now Im sharing the love. You gave the world Gaius. Think of this as payback."
Pen: "You know, you dont always have to interpret what I say as an invitation."SimNerd: "I have a sick sense of humor, and yet you keep volunteering. That speaks more to you than it does to me!"Pen: "Well, at least theres no pants-fish."SimNerd: "There is that. Oh, and try to stay away from Uranium."Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy. And she should really know better than to mention that shes glad shes NOT doingsomething in one of my stories!
Salahuddin: "Im skilling myself into happiness!"Vee: "Im skilling myself into stinkiness!"Uranium: "Is Kirstial up yet?"Pen: "Oh crap, Blite, dont leave me alone with these people, okay?"Blite: "Screw that, if Uranium looks over here, its every man for himself!"Gaius: "...Narrator guy?"
SimNerd: "Larch! I need a friend!"Larch: "No hugs!"
That look is so much more entertaining when its not directed at SimNerd....So then I got the brilliant idea to Flirt with him for the double-plus, and it didnt occur to me until after Id done it that Id justeffectively set SimNerds gender preference...Oh, yeah, this wont get awkward AT ALL.
Larch: "Youre in your underpants."Cypress: "I like the freedom."Larch: "...I miss not wearing a shirt."Cypress: "Wanna trade places?"Larch: "Nope."Cypress: "But all the skilling!"Larch: "Family Sim."
SimNerd and Pen: "Larch dances like he belongs in here!"Larch: "I have no idea what youre talking about!" *spinTHUD*
Cypress: "...and then I murdered my wife so I could get a Reaper Child! That was the best! My son and daughter were alllike, Waaaah, my mommys dead and I was all like, Muahahahaha, untold power at my fingertips or spleen or whatever!And then I got some Aspiration points for seeing her ghost."Blite: "...Help?"
Uranium: "Can it be true? TWO sexy blonde Potty Worshippers?"Larch: "Whats a Potty Worshipper?"Cypress: "You know, Im really afraid to ask."
Salahuddin: "Hooray! No more worry-hands!"Pen: "Yay?"
Cypress: "Cecil was right about the Omelet-Want."Thats not Cypresss stink-cloud. He doesnt shower a lot, but he Primps CONSTANTLY. Nope, thats Vees Trail O Stench.
Larch: "BATHE, frammit! We can smell you next door!"This is actually the day AFTER SimNerd invited him over to make friends with him. But now theyre friends and since he has10 Outgoing, he can--and does--invite himself in.
Vee: "Cecils tub-pirating in the shower again, jerk!"
Uranium: "I have inexplicably gotten another Aspiration boost from skilling! Proof that aliens are the superior race!"Vee: "Yeah, well, Im gonna come over here and stink up your nook!"...And then I saw something I couldnt immediately identify...
SOCIAL BUNNY!Ive never actually seen one before. And whose little friend is this?
Looks like body odor and Larch arent Vees only problems.
Social Bunny: "Ahahahaha, Vee smells!"Vee: "But arent you supposed to be my friend?"Social Bunny: "Okay, Stinky!"I took a lot of Social Bunny pictures. Like I said, Ive never seen one before, and it amused me.
This pretty much sums up the whole Larch/Cypress relationship, no?
Vee: "Make Cecil get out of the shower!"Larch: "Doesnt exactly smell like daisies around here, huh?"Social Bunny: "Vee smells bad--but shes HOT!"Oh, and I was in CameraMan Mode taking these pictures of Vees Social Bunny. No looking at her Needs or Wants Panels.
Larch: "You know, you could work a little harder at convincing the others to be tidy."Cypress: "Meh."Vee: *HANDPUNCH*
Cypress: "Wow, Spider Jerusalem likes to talk about that too!"Larch: "Really? I had no idea."Vee: "WOOO SOCIAL BUNNY! I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go!"
Need more proof that Cypress is a clone of Larch? Here ya go!
Cecil: "I really am quite content. The lack of an expensive bar is nearly bearable."
Gaius: "Hey, is there lunch? I could totally go for some salad!"Cecil: *eyetwitch*Wanna know why Cecil turned out to be a cold, calculating sociopath? Ill give you three guesses, and your first two dontcount. Hint: Hes Gaiuss son.Kay, that wasnt so much a hint as the answer.
Kirstial: "So, Vee?"Cecil: "Gossip is so tawdry! ...Do go on, Ms. Legacina."Vee: "Hey! Im standing RIGHT HERE!"
Kirstial: "She TOTALLY peed herself this one time!"Cecil: "Scandalous!"Vee: "Kirstial: You. Me. Insane amounts of unholy power. Two women enter, only one leaves."
Vee: "You dont believe that awful story, do you, Cecil?"Cecil: "Please, Ms. Semper, no inappropriate contact!"Vee: "...But I took a shower."
Yup... thats not gonna come back to bite me in the ass at all...
Cypress: "I cant get to the fridge because Salahuddins standing in front of it!"Salahuddin: "We have two fridges."Cypress: "Oh yeah."
Well, this does not bode well for Vee or for Salahuddin.
I mean, if youre going to cheat someone skill points, why cheat them two or three? Larch has nine in everything.
Uranium: "WOOO SEXY POTTY WORSHIPPER!"And if you look on the far right, Salahuddins indulging his masochistic streak again.
Somehow, I dont think this helps Vees Social Motive.
Vee: "How did I lose?"Larch: "Well, CLEARLY you havent been skilling Body."SimNerd: "Be nice to my crazy evil people, Larch."
Vee: "Lets just stand here for a while and chat, huh?"Kirstial: "Yeah. Lets just stand here and chat A LOT."Vee: "Until, like, tomorrow."Kirstial: "Or the day after."
Larch: "There is no escaping the wrath of Larch!"Vee: "I am so zapping you when I get out of here!"
Larch is the first one to root for Uranium. I have literally never seen anyone cheer for her before now.
Uranium: "My alien superiority triumphs again!"Kirstial: "I really have to start sleeping later."Salahuddin: "WOOO! Yay for Uranium hitting someone other than me!"Larch: "I still wanna know what a Potty Worshipper is."Vee: "Im tired!"Cypress: *PRIMP*
Uranium: "I hunger... for WooHoo. And also food."Larch: *SLAP*
Vee: *SLAP*Kirstial: "So this one time, I totally won a fight with Uranium!"Gaius: "Yeah, but just the once, right?"Kirstial: "Still counts!"
Gaius: "Hi."Cypress: "Hi."Gaius: "I have nine nice points."Cypress: "I dont."Gaius: "I still killed a bunch of people."Cypress: "Im working on it."
Gaius: "So I think if theres another fire, Im not gonna be doing so well. How bout you?"
Cypress: "If youre good enough for my brother to hate, youre good enough for me to hate!"Oddly, that was his reasoning behind his battle with Enemy Kevin back in college. And seriously, hes never shown anyanimosity towards Vee before now. I mean, except for that one time when he and Gaius tried to make her starve to death, buthe was totally hugging her and chatting with her to do that, not beating her up. Killing with kindness--a gentler sort of Eeevil.
Vee: "That has gotta be the dumbest thing I ever heard!"
Cypress: *POKE*After this, Cypress turned around and jumped on the Dance Sphere. Yes, he is a conniving little weasel. But a SMARTconniving little weasel.
And DrSupremeNerds Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths seems to have been possessed by the Devil.Lets just say if he falls off the Dance Sphere and the barf is green, Im gonna start looking for holy water and a crucifix.And, seriously, like Cypress needs HELP to be creepy and Eeevil.
Vee: *SLAPSLAPSLAP*This ones for all of you whove been wanting to see this since Chapter 13 of the Dualegacy... Or, you know, before then.
Cypress: "Waaah! She hit me!"I would seriously love to know what makes some of them cry and not others. Larch only cried when his parents and wife died;Cypress only cries when people hit him. To my knowledge, Larch has never cried after a fight and Cypress definitely did NOTcry when his parents or wife died. Kirstial and Vee both cry after getting slapped; Uranium doesnt.
But Cypress is still Cypress. Goes from 0 to GRRRRR in 0.5 seconds.
Looks like Cecil finally stopped rolling food-related Wants. And now hes back in worry/sob mode. He seems to be veryresourceful, though, so I have no doubt that hell find some way to save himself again.
35!Halfway done!Which I would be so much more excited about if it didnt take so freaking long to get thosehigher skill points.*sobs*
Salahuddin: "Hooray! This is painless!"Uranium: "Is it? I was under the impression that these should be stuffed with heavy objects."
Salahuddin: "I love watching it, because its not happening to me!"Cypress: "Chick fight!"Cecil: "Ms. Apocalypso, Ms. Legacina, if you could endeavor to keep the dust cloud out of my chili, I would be most grateful."
Gaius: "I need to potty!"Cecil: "Perhaps you should head next door, where the commode is."Gaius: "You make an excellent point."
SimNerd: "Um, Pen? I know I asked you to Hang Out, but I sort of meant more over there-ish."Pen: "Your knees in my chest."SimNerd: "Youre sitting on my foot."
Larch: "This is giving me all sorts of great ideas. Am I right, man? Am I?"Blite: "You know what, Im staying out of this one. Way, way out."
Cecil: "Expensive painting?"SimNerd: "What happened to rolling those Eat Omelets Wants, huh?"Cecil: "I cannot control what appears on my Want Panel. It re-rolls when I wake up."SimNerd: "Thats what the coffees for--I havent slept in three days!"Cecil: "Is that entirely healthy?"SimNerd: "Do you want to get out of here before youre old and gray?"Cecil: "That would be preferable to the alternative."SimNerd: "Then yes, caffeinating instead of sleeping is healthy. Time spent sleeping is not time spent skilling!"
I have given up on Gaius making any kind of sense to me. On one hand, Im sort of glad that he just pulled himself out ofsniffle/whine mode, but on the other hand, if hed just made a freaking grilled cheese sandwich, hed also get points forhaving made one and eating it.
Can you guess who has 10 Playful?Im not used to Playful Sims. Vetinaris are pathologically neat, outgoing, active, serious, and mean, with very few exceptions.In 5 generations, Ive had TWO Sims with more than 3 Playful. Cecil and Kirstial are sort of like exhibits in a zoo for me.
Hehehehehe. Maybe Cecil should choose times to tub-pirate when SimNerds NOT in the shower. Playful, but shy. Cypresswould have finger-gunned.
Vee: "Hooray! I can stop making worry-hands now!"Salahuddin: "Thats great, just finish cheating so we can get back to the game."
Cecil: "I have stopped rolling Wants for generic skills and specific foods! I need more money!"I reassessed the finances and determined that SimNerd could quit without getting another promotion. More time for skilling!
Uranium: "Potty Worshipper! How could you break the shower? The Potty God is displeased!"Cypress: "But I didnt break it. Cecil did. I just cleaned it and used it and cleaned up the puddles."Uranium: "Fortunately, the Potty God is a forgiving deity."
Uranium: "I need to pee or possibly shower, and you all need to leave!"Kirstial: "You need to pee, eh? I remember what happened LAST time you needed to pee and I picked a fight."Cypress: "Well, this is awkward."Vee: "We will never speak of this again."Cypress: "I mean, I know youre magic and all, but..."Vee: "I said were never speaking of this again!"
Cypress goes and cries about getting his ass kicked because he is a sissy.
And then Kirstial and Uranium got into it again.Kirstial won again--Uranium really CANT fight when she needs to pee.
Uraniums not crying because she lost the fight. Shes crying because Salahuddin was on the toilet when she got there, andshe was forsaken by the Potty God.
Cypress and Vee pretty much immediately have another brawl. This time, Uraniums mad because shes about thisclose togreen-fuming, and cant get to the shower since Cypress and Vee are in the way.
Cypress wins this one. They must be pretty evenly-matched.
Second set of Enemies in the Asylum!Cypress: "Hah! I have outdone my brother! HE didnt make Enemies with Vee!"
Cypress: "I HATE VEE."Uranium: "I smell."Vee: "You totally do."
And it turns out that Cypress is like the Energizer Bunny of hatred. This is, like, the third fight between the two of them inabout five real-time minutes.
Cypress: "Hey, Gaius, can I borrow your head to use as a bludgeon? I hear they just pop right off. I promise Ill give it rightback."Gaius: "DONT TOUCH ME."
Cypress wins again. Now I think hes getting smug about it.
Gaius: "Get out! I want to shower! You all need to move!"
Cypress: "Care to restate that request, Bootsie?"Gaius: "I mean, uh, maybe you could possibly please... THE EMPEROR DECREES THAT YOU VACATE THE BATHROOM!"Cypress: "Ill allow it."
Number of skills maxed by the crazy evil people: 1Number of skills maxed by SimNerd: 0I am getting PWND.By GAIUS. GAIUS. GAAAAIIIIIIIUUUUUUS.My SimSelf is getting metaphorically spanked by Idiot Jed.If youll excuse me, I need to go slink under a rock and hide in shame.And with this horrible perspective on the whole sad state of affairs, I will leave you until next time. Will SimNerd continue tochip away at those skills? How many more times will Kirstial and Uranium and Cypress and Vee throw down? How long canSimNerd go without sleeping? Will we finally see more full-blown Aspiration Failure? Stay tuned to find out!
Blite: "So, could I maybe sit on the couch?"Uranium: "No."Blite: "Okay then."