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  1. 1. Mr. Taylor Sample Play The Long Distance Break-up/ The Lover’s Telephone Revenge JANE: Packing up her belongings from ex-boyfriend’s apartment. SUE: Jane’s friend. Setting: Ex-boyfriend’s apartment. Items thrown around the room. JANE I can’t believe that jerk. SUE Well, I don’t want to say “I told you so....” JANE So don’t. SUE I’m just saying, he left his last girlfriend for you. JANE I know, I know. And now he left me for someone else.
  2. 2. SUE But did you have to move in with him? I mean, it was just so fast. JANE Love works like that, I guess. SUE So do hormones. JANE What’s that supposed to mean? SUE Nothing. JANE Yeah, I’m sure. Are you going to help me pack this up or not? SUE Um, not.
  3. 3. JANE Guess again. SUE Um, sure? JANE I knew I could count on you. SUE What are friends for, if not to help pack up their best friends belongings after foolishly rushing into living with a guy she barely knows. JANE I knew him. Or at least I thought I did. SUE Have you talked to your sister yet? JANE As far as I’m concerned she can rot. SUE Come on, she’s your sister.
  4. 4. JANE And he was my boyfriend, but that didn’t seem to stop them. SUE If it’s any consolation, they said they were drunk. JANE That just the excuse they’re giving to justify being jerks. SUE You could take her to Jerry Springer. JANE But then she’d get a free trip to Chicago and stay at a nice hotel. And they pay for everything. SUE Really? JANE Tonya went on there last year. She partied all weekend, and they drove her around in a limo. My sister doesn’t deserve that. SUE A limo? Really? Man, they want to make their guests feel comfortable. I wonder if Oprah does that for her guests. It’s probably better than the
  5. 5. people who go on Divorce Court. Maybe the People’s Court or Judge Judy has better hotels. JANE Can we focus?! SUE Sorry, I just never thought that Jerry’s guests would be treated so nicely. JANE (sarcastically) Yeah, it’s great. Now help me finish loading up this box. SUE Fine. You know how to ruin all the fun out of these things. JANE What things? SUE Break ups. JANE I didn’t think they were supposed to be fun. SUE
  6. 6. They can be. With the right motivation. JANE What’s that supposed to mean? SUE We could break his TV? JANE No, I wouldn’t feel right. He loves that TV. SUE Like he loved your sister? JANE Still.... SUE We could take a knife a cut up his mattress. JANE Wouldn’t that be illegal? SUE
  7. 7. We could microwave a DVD. That would be fun. The sparks flying everywhere. JANE But that’s my microwave. SUE Oh. JANE Let’s not do anything. I just want to get out of here. SUE We could call China. JANE China? SUE Yeah, China. JANE Who’s in China? SUE
  8. 8. Who cares? Someone, I’m sure. JANE I don’t know. SUE Think about it. Why not make him pay for every minute of his affair. You were hurt, it’s time to hurt him. JANE Maybe. SUE You know you want to. It’s better than Jerry Springer. JANE Okay, let’s do it. Sue dials a number. SUE How long will he be gone? JANE Until tomorrow.
  9. 9. SUE Perfect! JANE By the way, how do you know the number to China? SUE I have a sister, too.