Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

Why NOT Do A Startup

164,473 views

Published on

Why NOT Do A Startup (Montreal Intl Startup Festival, july 2011)

Published in: Business, Technology

Why NOT Do A Startup

  1. Why NOTTo Do a Startup<br />… because You Will FAIL, Loser.<br />Dave McClure<br />500startups.com<br />International Startup Festival<br />Montreal – July 2011<br />@DaveMcClure<br />
  2. #1: Yer a WANTrepreneur.<br />You’re in this for all the Wrong reasons:<br />You think it’s “So Fucking Cool” to do a startup<br />You want to make LOTS of Money.<br />You have Teh AwesomeTechnology Solution.<br />The Right Reasons:<br />You Live in Fear.<br />You Can’t Get Laid.<br />Something has been PISSING you off FOREVER.<br />YOU ARE PASSIONATEABOUT [SOLVING] A [CUSTOMER] PROBLEM<br />
  3. #2: You are a FAT and LAZY SLOB<br />You’ve worked at Microsoft for >5 yrs.<br />You Drive a Nice Car & It’s Paid For.<br />You Live in a Big House.<br />You Don’t Worry About Paying Bills.<br />You Want to Kiss The KidsGoodnight.<br />You Your Spouse > Your Startup.<br />tip: Doing a Startup is a Lesson in Pain & Sacrifice. <br />
  4. #3: You Have a BUSINESS PLAN,But No Product and No Customers.<br />Bullshit Revenue Projection -----><br />(up & to the right)<br />See: “Startup Metrics for Pirates”<br />
  5. #4: Your Idea SUCKS(and even your Mom thinks so)<br />You Don’t Have a Working Prototype.<br />Worse: Have Prototype, But No One Uses It.<br />It Sucks a Lot More than the Competition.<br />See: “Lean Startup (Ries) & Customer Development (Blank)”<br />
  6. #5: You Have Teh Awesome SOLUTION…to a PROBLEM that does not exist. <br />See: “Your Solution <br />Is Not My Problem”<br />
  7. #6: You’re a LOSER, not a LEADER.<br />You Procrastinate. A Lot.<br />You’re not Charismatic.<br />You Get Beaten [Up] Regularly.<br />Your Vision is usually Wrong.<br />You’re Scared of Change.<br />When Other People Tell You That You’re Wrong, You Believe Them.<br />…and you’re Uglytoo, bitch.<br />Watch: “Kick-Ass” or “Glee”<br />
  8. #7: Your Pitch Sucks & You Won’t Raise Money (or SuperAngelsCollude to Screw You Over)<br />50 slides in your deck<br />Technical Jargon<br />Demo FAIL<br />Clueless Investors<br />EVIL Investors<br />See: “How To Pitch a VC”<br />
  9. #8: Your Team Sucks, and You Have No Idea How to Hire (or Fire).<br />No Technical Founders / Coders<br />No Design / UX / Usability<br />No Internet Mktg (Search, Social)<br />No Mobileexpertise<br />No Enterprise Sales / Biz Dev<br />No Recruiter, or They Suck… Bad.<br />
  10. #9: CoFounders& Employees =Whiners. <br />You WILL miss a payroll.<br />Someone WILL eat last slice of pizza.<br />There WILL be Office Politics.<br />People WILL discover and compare salary & stock options. <br />Someone WILL sueyer ass:<br />Sexual Harassment<br />Wrongful Termination<br />Unhappy Customer<br />Jealous Competitor<br />
  11. #10: You Can’t Sell or Market 4 Shit.<br />You Don’t Know Marketing.<br />You Think Marketing = TechCrunch.<br />You Don’t Know What SEO stands for.<br />You Think SEM = SEO.<br />You Don’t Know or Use Social Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube).<br />You’ve never built Facebook or iPhone App, or a Social Game.<br />You’ve never sent an email campaign, written a blog post, or run an affiliate marketing campaign.<br />See: “Startup-Marketing.com (Ellis)”<br />
  12. #11: You’d Rather Change the Channel Than Change The World. <br />Wouldn’t you rather watch GLEE or Monday Night Football?<br />Sure you would, Loser.<br />Just relaaaaaxxxxxx.<br />Fuck.<br /> That.<br />Noise.<br />

×