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Rebuilding the temple, rev ed 2009

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Five week training course for men to provide them with a biblical framework and model for developing a healthy, biblical perspective on male sexuality and sexual integrity.

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Rebuilding the temple, rev ed 2009

  1. 1. Rebuilding the Temple God’s Blueprint for Restoring Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  2. 2. Rebuilding the Temple <ul><li>Facing Our Brokenness, (Nehemiah 1:4). </li></ul><ul><li>Discovering God’s Plan, (Nehemiah 3; Ezra 3) </li></ul><ul><li>Relying on God’s Provision, (Neh. 2:8; Ezra 1:4; 6:8-10). </li></ul><ul><li>Facing Certain Opposition, (Ezra 4; Nehemiah chs. 4, 6). </li></ul><ul><li>Discovering the Hope of Restoration (Ezra 6:13-22; Neh. 6:15-7:3). </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  3. 3. <ul><li>God created us sexual beings </li></ul><ul><li>Potential benefit of sexuality </li></ul><ul><li>Overall impact of our sexuality </li></ul><ul><li>Sexuality is a major concern </li></ul><ul><li>Impact of sexual issues on spiritual growth </li></ul><ul><li>Dramatic rise in sexual addiction </li></ul>Why This Study Is Important: copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  4. 4. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  5. 5. Ground Rules <ul><li>The Group Must Be a Safe Place </li></ul><ul><li>What Is Shared Here - Stays Here </li></ul><ul><li>We Will not Put Others Down </li></ul><ul><li>We Will Make No Self-Righteous Statements </li></ul><ul><li>We Will Take Responsibility for Ourselves; We Will not Blame Others </li></ul><ul><li>We Will Be Open to the Spirit’s Guidance in All Discussions </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  6. 6. Discussion ? <ul><li>Which of these reasons do you identify with as a reason you would want to participate in this study? </li></ul><ul><li>God created us sexual beings. </li></ul><ul><li>Potential benefit of our sexuality </li></ul><ul><li>Impact of our sexuality </li></ul><ul><li>Sexuality is a major concern </li></ul><ul><li>Impact on spiritual growth </li></ul><ul><li>Rise in sexual addiction </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  7. 7. The Problem of Porn: <ul><li>4.2 million pornographic websites (12%) </li></ul><ul><li>Internet Porn Sales – 13.3 billion annually </li></ul><ul><li>U.S. Top Porn Web Page Country (89%) </li></ul><ul><li>Average Age of First Time Exposure – 11 </li></ul><ul><li>90% of 8-16 year olds online have been exposed to porn (most during homework) </li></ul><ul><li>20% of Men Admit to Viewing Porn at Work </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Source: http://www.internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html
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  21. 21. Christians and Porn: <ul><li>50% of Men and 20% of Women in the Church Admit to Struggling with Porn ( ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com </li></ul><ul><li>64% of Christian Leaders Struggle with Some Form of Sexual Addiction or Sexual Compulsion ( Men’s Secret Wars, Patrick Means) </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  22. 22. What to Expect <ul><li>A biblical foundation for understanding our bodies and sexuality. </li></ul><ul><li>A safe place to raise issues of concern related to sexuality and faith. </li></ul><ul><li>Resources for living free in God’s plan for your sexuality. </li></ul><ul><li>A place of to develop accountability in the fight for sexual integrity. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  23. 23. Discussion ? <ul><li>Which of the following expectations excite you the most about participating in this class? Why? </li></ul><ul><li>A Biblical Foundation </li></ul><ul><li>A Safe Place to Raise Issues </li></ul><ul><li>Resources for Victorious Living </li></ul><ul><li>Opportunity to Develop Accountability Relationships. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  24. 24. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  25. 25. Discussion ? <ul><li>Which of the following three statements impacts you the most? </li></ul><ul><li>Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit </li></ul><ul><li>You are not your own </li></ul><ul><li>Honor God with your body </li></ul><ul><li>What practical difference might it make in your life if you lived with these principles in mind? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  26. 26. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  27. 27. Why Study as a Group? <ul><li>Strength in the Common Struggle </li></ul><ul><li>Encouragement </li></ul><ul><li>Accountability </li></ul><ul><li>Hope </li></ul><ul><li>Build a Support System to Set and Achieve Goals </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  28. 28. Discussion ? <ul><li>Which of the following reasons do feel is the most beneficial reason for you to study this topic in a group setting? Why? </li></ul><ul><li>Strength in the Struggle </li></ul><ul><li>Encouragement </li></ul><ul><li>Accountability </li></ul><ul><li>Hope </li></ul><ul><li>Building a Support System </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  29. 29. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>Men’s Secret Wars, (Patrick Means, Baker Books, 2006). </li></ul><ul><li>Healing Wounds of Sexual Addiction, (Mark Laaser, Zondervan 2004). </li></ul><ul><li>www.purelifeministries.org </li></ul><ul><li>www.faithfulandtrueministries.com </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  30. 30. God’s Blueprint for Sexual Integrity The Spiritual Dimension copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  31. 31. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  32. 32. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  33. 33. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  34. 34. Growth Goal <ul><li>To understand the relationship between sexual sin and the spiritual dimension of my life, and discover the spiritual resources Christ has made available to us in the journey toward sexual integrity. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  35. 35. This Week’s Key Verse: John 8:36 <ul><li>So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  36. 36. The Transformation of a Man copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Mind Will Emotions Soul Spirit Body Adapted from teaching presented by Cleansing Streams Ministries.
  37. 37. Saved But Not Free copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Mind Will Emotions Soul Spirit Body
  38. 38. Beware the Galatian Sin <ul><li>Galatians 3:1-5 </li></ul><ul><li>Sexual Purity Does Not Make A Man Right Before God – </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Faith Does </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Sexual Purity Comes By The Same Way As Salvation Does – </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Participating With The Work Of The Spirit In My Life </li></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  39. 39. Exercise <ul><li>Take a moment and write in some of the hooks that have been set in your life in each of these areas: mind, emotions, and will. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  40. 40. Is Sexual Sin Different? <ul><li>1 Corinthians 6:12-20 </li></ul><ul><li>“ Body” used loosely for “self” (v. 18) </li></ul><ul><li>Violates the most intimate expression between two people (Gen. 2:24) </li></ul><ul><li>Violates the “temple” principle </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  41. 41. Discussion ? <ul><li>What are some ways you have seen sexual sin impact the lives of men in ways other sins have not? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  42. 42. The Pathway to Wholeness <ul><li>Cleanse Ourselves – 2 Timothy 2:20-21 </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams What’s in your house?
  43. 43. The Pathway to Wholeness <ul><li>Discover the Truth, (John 8:32; 17:17) </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  44. 44. The Pathway to Wholeness <ul><li>Repent </li></ul><ul><li>Confession vs. Repentance </li></ul><ul><li>Repentance Involves: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Confessing – 1 John 1:9 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Turning – 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Renouncing – 2 Corinthians 4:2 </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Renew Your Mind </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  45. 45. Repent and Renounce <ul><li>Repent – to the Father </li></ul><ul><li>“ Father forgive me for my involvement in sexual sin. I confess that I have given the enemy a place in my life through the things I have seen, the places I have gone, and the relationships I have had. I ask you to cleanse me of this and help me to walk free.” </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  46. 46. Repent and Renounce <ul><li>Renounce – the kingdom of darkness </li></ul><ul><li>“ And now I renounce and reject every spirit of sexual perversion that I have given in to in my life. I reject the works of lust, adultery, fornication. I renounce and cut off all soul ties, all agreements, and all connections I have had with sexual sin. I ask that the Spirit of God would remove every hook the enemy has placed in my heart. I stand now under the blood and name of Jesus Christ.” </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  47. 47. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>The Bondage Breaker, Neil Anderson, Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2000. </li></ul><ul><li>Cleansing Streams. Discipleship course and deliverance ministry for believers. Offered Spring and Fall quarters. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  48. 48. God’s Blueprint for Sexual Integrity The Physical Dimension copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  49. 49. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  50. 50. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  51. 51. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  52. 52. Growth Goal <ul><li>You will begin to view yourself as a steward of the body God has given you, and how you are to respect, care for, and nurture your body even with its areas of inadequacy. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  53. 53. This Week’s Key Verse: Genesis 1:27,31 <ul><li>27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  54. 54. As God’s Image. . . <ul><li>I am a physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual reflection of God’s character and nature to my world. </li></ul><ul><li>I have been eternally impacted by the Fall. </li></ul><ul><li>I have a body that is part of God’s plan for my restoration. </li></ul><ul><li>I am a person of eternal worth. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  55. 55. Discussion ? <ul><li>How do you think most people would react to the statement of Scripture that God considers us to be a “very good” creation? </li></ul><ul><li>What might change in your thinking or actions this year if you were to live with the truth of this verse in mind? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  56. 56. THE MALE BODY AND SEX <ul><li>Back to Basics </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  57. 57. Boys and Girls – From the Beginning copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  58. 58. The 16 Week Brain Bath copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  59. 59. Male Sexual Anatomy copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  60. 60. Men, Sex, and Their Brains <ul><li>Brain – Man’s Largest Sex Organ </li></ul><ul><li>Sexual Pursuit Area 2.5 times bigger </li></ul><ul><li>Role of Testosterone </li></ul><ul><li>Visually Oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Chemicals Released in Sexual Experience Create an Imprint on Brain </li></ul><ul><li>Hormones Released Create Calming Effect </li></ul><ul><li>Porn/Sexual Sin Hijacks Male Brain </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  61. 61. Male Sexual Response Cycle copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  62. 62. Roadblocks to a Healthy View of Our Bodies <ul><li>Experiences of Shame </li></ul><ul><li>Lack of Affirmation </li></ul><ul><li>Absence of Basic Education </li></ul><ul><li>Attitudes of Our Family of Origin </li></ul><ul><li>Tidal Wave of Cultural Opinion/Values </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  63. 63. Discussion ? <ul><li>When you were growing up, what attitudes did your family display regarding sexual issues and the human body? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  64. 64. Healthy Bodies and Healthy Sexuality <ul><li>Reduces Stress Related Temptation </li></ul><ul><li>Reduces Fatigue Related Temptation </li></ul><ul><li>Increases Positive Attitude Toward Our Bodies </li></ul><ul><li>Reinforces Stewardship Mentality </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  65. 65. Discussion ? <ul><li>How do you feel about Jesus’ action of leaving the needy crowds to take care of himself? </li></ul><ul><li>What hurdles do you face in the battle to take care of your physical body? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  66. 66. Action Plan for Our Bodies <ul><li>Develop a “stewardship” attitude toward your body. </li></ul><ul><li>Demonstrate stewardship through proper cycle of rest, exercise, and refueling (eating). </li></ul><ul><li>Seek divine healing and professional help for physical issues that threaten your health. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  67. 67. Discussion ? <ul><li>How do you feel about the issue of exercise? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guilty – I know I need to change </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Fearful – I’m afraid of falling back </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Encouraged – I’m relieved </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Angry – I don’t want to deal with it </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Numb – I don’t care </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Affirmed – I’m doing something right </li></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  68. 68. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>Wired for Intimacy , by William M. Struthers, IVP, 2009 </li></ul><ul><li>Faith-Based Fitness, by Dr. Kenneth H. Cooper, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995 </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  69. 69. God’s Blueprint for Sexual Integrity The Emotional Dimension copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  70. 70. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  71. 71. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  72. 72. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  73. 73. Growth Goal <ul><li>You will begin to identify which of the top ten intimacy needs are most important to you and how to express those needs to those God has provided in your life to help meet those needs. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  74. 74. This Week’s Key Verse: Genesis 2:18 <ul><li>18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  75. 75. The Emotional Cup copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Workaholism Sexual Addiction Depression Over-eating Violence Adapted from Intimate Encounters, by David Ferguson, Intimate Life Ministries Positive Emotion Stress Anxiety Guilt Anger Hurt
  76. 76. Discussion ? <ul><li>What has been spilling out of your emotional cup recently? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  77. 77. Carnes Cycle of Addiction Family Wounds Shame Fantasy Preoccupation Ritual Acting Out Despair Carnes, Patrick, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Hazelden, 2001.
  78. 78. Laaser Cycle of Recovery God’s Family Grace Vision Healthy Disciplines Healthy Choices Joy Laaser, Mark, Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World, Lifeway, 1996.
  79. 79. Comparing the Cycles God’s Family Grace Vision Healthy Disciplines Healthy Choices Joy Family Wounds Shame Fantasy Preoccupation Ritual Acting Out Despair
  80. 80. Men’s Top 10 <ul><li>Attention – to take thought of another and convey appropriate care, interest, or concern; enter into another’s world. </li></ul><ul><li>Acceptance – deliberate and ready reception with a favorable response; to regard as good and proper. </li></ul><ul><li>Appreciation – to recognize with gratitude; to communicate personal gratefulness for another person. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  81. 81. Men’s Top 10 <ul><li>Support – to come alongside and gently carry a problem or struggle; to assist. </li></ul><ul><li>Encouragement – to urge forward and positively persuade toward a goal; to inspire; to stimulate </li></ul><ul><li>Affection – to communicate care and closeness through physical touch and affirming words. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  82. 82. Men’s Top 10 <ul><li>Respect – to value and regard highly; to convey great worth. </li></ul><ul><li>Security – freedom from exposure to danger; to put beyond hazard of losing or want; confidence in “harmony” of relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Comfort – to give strength and hope to; to ease the grief or pain </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  83. 83. Men’s Top 10 <ul><li>Approval – to accept as satisfactory; to give formal or official sanction to; to have or express a favorable opinion </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  84. 84. Discussion ? <ul><li>Which three of these ten intimacy needs do you most identify with? </li></ul><ul><li>What does it look like when these are met in your life? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ I feel accepted when. . .” (be specific) </li></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  85. 85. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>Great Commandment Principle, by David Ferguson, Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1998. </li></ul><ul><li>Men Under Construction, by Donald Joy, Chariot Victor Publishing, 1993. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  86. 86. God’s Blueprint for Sexual Integrity The Relational Dimension copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  87. 87. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  88. 88. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  89. 89. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  90. 90. Growth Goal <ul><li>Begin to move away from aloneness and develop healthy, meaningful relationships in your journey to becoming a man of sexual integrity. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  91. 91. Key Point. . . <ul><li>The path to sexual integrity is one that must be walked with others. The man who walks alone is destined to compromise his sexual integrity. The man who builds meaningful relationships is well on his way to success. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  92. 92. This Week’s Key Verse: Genesis 2:18 <ul><li>The Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  93. 93. Discussion ? <ul><li>How do you respond to the phrase, “Me and Jesus is all I need?” </li></ul><ul><li>How do you think most men would respond to the idea that they were intentionally created incomplete? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  94. 94. Characteristic #1: Initiative <ul><li>The ability to begin a relationship or reach out to others. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Able to Take Initiative Unable to Take Initiative
  95. 95. Characteristic #2: Presence <ul><li>The ability to meet others, and to attend to another’s thoughts and feelings as well as reveal yourself honestly. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Present in Relationships Isolate Myself
  96. 96. Discussion ? <ul><li>What are some practical steps a man could take to improve his ability to take initiative in relationships and begin to move past the surface in those relationships? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  97. 97. Characteristic #3: Finish <ul><li>The ability to finalize arrangements, follow through on commitments, end fights, and solve problems. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Able to Bring Things to Closure Unable to Bring Things to Closure
  98. 98. Characteristic #4: Vulnerability <ul><li>The ability to share what you are thinking and feeling. This includes being able to share the problems you are facing and being willing to ask for help. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Able to Be Vulnerable Unable to Be Vulnerable
  99. 99. Discussion ? <ul><li>What are some steps we can take to make the body of Christ a safe place for men to walk in healthy vulnerability? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  100. 100. Characteristic #5: Nurture <ul><li>The ability to care for others without expecting something in return, as well as being able to empathize, support, and show care through appropriate, non-sexual touch. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Able to Nurture Unable to Nurture
  101. 101. Characteristic #6: Honesty <ul><li>The ability to be clear about what you think, believe, and feel; to express anger in appropriate ways, and openly share disagreements or resentments. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Honest with Feelings Dishonest with Feelings
  102. 102. Discussion ? <ul><li>Why is it important that a man find avenues of appropriate, physical touch? What might be some appropriate expressions of physical touch? </li></ul><ul><li>Where do you find it most difficult to be truly honest in the relationships of your life? Why do you think this is? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  103. 103. Characteristic #7: Play <ul><li>The ability to see the fun side of life and build non-work related activities and opportunities for play into life. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Playful Enjoyment Challenged
  104. 104. Battle Buddies – Changing the Tide of the Battle <ul><li>Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ…I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel , (Philippians 1:27 NIV) </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  105. 105. Keys to an Effective Battle Buddy Relationships <ul><li>Admit Your Need </li></ul><ul><li>Take Initiative </li></ul><ul><li>Set a Time </li></ul><ul><li>Let It Develop </li></ul><ul><li>Have a Plan </li></ul><ul><li>Work the Plan </li></ul><ul><li>Frequency – 2x a month </li></ul><ul><li>Consistency </li></ul><ul><li>Confidentiality </li></ul><ul><li>Honesty </li></ul><ul><li>Encouragement </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  106. 106. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>Locking Arms, by Stu Weber, Multnomah, 1995). </li></ul><ul><li>All the King’s Men, by Stu Weber, Multnomah, 1998. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  107. 107. God’s Blueprint for Sexual Integrity The Behavioral Dimension copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  108. 108. A Blueprint for Sexual Integrity copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams Biblical Truth Spiritual Physical Emotional Relational 1 Corinthians 6:19 Behavioral
  109. 109. Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 <ul><li>19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own ; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  110. 110. Sexual Integrity <ul><li>To live in the freedom and wholeness of my God-given sexuality, committed to expressing my sexuality solely within the boundaries of God’s plan for my life as expressed in the Bible. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  111. 111. Growth Goal <ul><li>Begin replacing behaviors that lead to sexual bondage with behaviors that correspond to God’s blueprint for becoming a man of sexual integrity. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  112. 112. Key Point. . . <ul><li>Sexual integrity is achieved not by simply trying to stop inappropriate behaviors, but by replacing inappropriate sexual behaviors with appropriate ones. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  113. 113. Ephesians 4:22-23 <ul><li>22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self , which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self , created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  114. 114. Romans 13:12 <ul><li>12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  115. 115. Colossians 3:9-10 <ul><li>9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self , which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  116. 116. Galatians 3:27 <ul><li>27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ . </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  117. 117. Explicitly Sinful Sexual Practices <ul><li>Lust </li></ul><ul><li>Adultery </li></ul><ul><li>Fornication </li></ul><ul><li>Pre-marital Sex </li></ul><ul><li>Incest </li></ul><ul><li>Homosexuality </li></ul><ul><li>Bestiality </li></ul><ul><li>Orgies </li></ul><ul><li>Rape </li></ul><ul><li>Abuse </li></ul><ul><li>Pedophilia </li></ul><ul><li>Polygamy </li></ul><ul><li>Prostitution </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  118. 118. Implicitly Sinful Sexual Practices <ul><li>Activity that Violates Your Partner’s Sense of Appropriateness </li></ul><ul><li>Activity that Violates the Character of God </li></ul><ul><li>Practices Harmful to You or Your Partner’s Body </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  119. 119. Sexual Practices in the Bible <ul><li>Courting/Alluring </li></ul><ul><li>Engagement </li></ul><ul><li>Marriage </li></ul><ul><li>Monogamy </li></ul><ul><li>Nakedness </li></ul><ul><li>Embracing </li></ul><ul><li>Kissing </li></ul><ul><li>Caressing </li></ul><ul><li>Fondling </li></ul><ul><li>Intercourse </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  120. 120. Key Point <ul><li>Walking in sexual integrity will mean that we stop substituting sex for real relationship. Sex does not equal love. Sex is an expression of love between two people committed in marriage. When we develop meaningful, intimate relationships in life, sexual temptation will decrease. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  121. 121. Discussion ? <ul><li>What are some of the sexual behaviors of the “old self” that you see Christian men struggling to take off of their lives? </li></ul><ul><li>What impact does it have on a man’s walk of faith to resign himself to living with these behaviors of the “old self.” </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  122. 122. Key Point. . . <ul><li>God’s blueprint for sexual integrity includes each man taking personal responsibility for learning how to replace behaviors that lead sexual bondage with behaviors that lead to sexual integrity. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  123. 123. Establishing a Perimeter of Behaviors <ul><li>STUDY YOURSELF </li></ul><ul><li>When are you most vulnerable? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Bored, tired, alone, evening/morning </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Where are you most vulnerable? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>On the road, among friends, office </li></ul></ul><ul><li>From what visual sources do you find sexual satisfaction? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Magazines, ads, health club, computer </li></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  124. 124. Exercise <ul><li>Make a list of the places and circumstances where you have been most vulnerable to sexual temptation. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  125. 125. Establishing a Perimeter of Behaviors <ul><li>DEFINE YOUR DEFENSES </li></ul><ul><li>Be ruthless with your motives. </li></ul><ul><li>Eliminate controllable sources of temptation. </li></ul><ul><li>Bounce your eyes. </li></ul><ul><li>Starve your eyes. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  126. 126. Tools for Controlling the Internet <ul><li>Server-side Filtering </li></ul><ul><ul><li>www.viafamily.net (Rated G) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>www.filterreview.com </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Accountability Utilities </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Eye Promise (http://www.promisekeepers.org/resc/resc130.htm) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Covenant Eyes </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>www.covenanteyes.com </li></ul></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  127. 127. Discussion ? <ul><li>What other successful tools have you found in your journey to becoming a man of sexual integrity? </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  128. 128. Pick Up Your Sword <ul><li>Memorize Key Passages </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Psalm 101:3 I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Regularly Read Key Passages </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Proverbs 5-7 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>1 Corinthians 6:12-20 </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Song of Solomon </li></ul></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams
  129. 129. Resources for Further Study <ul><li>Every Man’s Battle, by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press, 2000. </li></ul><ul><li>Intended for Pleasure, 3 rd . Ed. by Ed and Gaye Wheat, Revell, 1997. </li></ul>copyright © 2003, 2009 Donald F. Williams

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