1.
2 Ways to Deeper Listening
Increased awareness through music + NLQ (noticing-listening-questioning)
Jeff Evans & Dave Goldberg
Purdue University & ThreeJoy Associates, Inc.
jje@purdue.edu & deg@bigbeacon.org

2.
Musical Icebreaker

3.
Which one’s Lucy?

4.
Three Word Check-in
- Your name
- Your role
- One word that describes your current
head/heart state.

5.
What was it about workshop that motivated
you to come today?

6.
Debrief

7.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
Shift (Don’t-Call-Them-Soft) Skills are
the Royal Road to Change

8.
Master View of Core Shift Skills
Aligning & Seeking Meaning & Purpose
No?cing & Direc?ng Inten?on
Being & Changing (Learning)
Receiving Sense Making Ac?ng

9.
Core Shift Skills
Func%on Type Core Shi1 Skills
Awareness &
Inten?on
No?cing thoughts, feelings, body with inten?on, holding inten?on
without aNachment
Receiving Listening, ques?oning, journaling
Sense Making Reflec?on, dis?nc?on use, polarity management,
Ac?ng Speech acts, presence, naturalis?c decision making, planning &
effectua?ng
Being & Changing Living in story, Story reframing & redesign, Inten?on without
aNachment, habit forma?on, engaging elephant, rider & path,
localizing communi?es of change, dis?nc?on making and transfer
Meaning Making Not knowing with inten?on, curiosity, vulnerability & courageous
honesty

10.
Core & Derivative Shift Skills
Core ShiU
Skills
Communica?ons
Sales
Conflict
management
Leadership
Teamwork
Nego?a?on
Entrepreneurship
Other

11.
A word about presence

12.
A word about discomfort

13.
© David E. Goldberg 2011

14.
Workshop in Two Parts
1. Music as vehicle to heighten auditory
awareness.
2. NLQ à Noticing, listening & questioning as
key receiving shift skills.

15.
Music to heighten auditory awareness

16.
Heart Rate Apps
• Download one & Learn how to use it – Now!
IOS
Android
IOS & Android

17.
Sound & Physiology
• We can hear before we can see -
we hear in the womb.
• Humans crave arousal as much as
they crave sleep.
• Sound/Music causes increased
arousal - heightened alertness,
awareness, interest, excitement;
enhanced state of being.
• Human measures from music:
absolutely physical, and immediate.
• Silence can be as important as
sound - think silence before a
horrific event in a movie.
Storr, A., Music and the Mind, Ballantine
Books, NY 1992

18.
Music & Physiology
• Music structures time:
accompanies many activities:
Marching, worship, serenading,
marriages, funerals, manual work.
• Music creates order out of
chaos, rhythm imposes unanimity
upon the divergent, melody
imposes continuity upon the
disjointed, harmony imposes
compatibility upon the
incongruous.
• Music can have +/- effects.
• Music and rhythm can influence
crowd behavior, positive and
negative.

19.
Activity 1
• You will need your heart rate app
• Pair up
– Person 1 – get comfortable
– Person 2 – you will be
gathering data
• Experiment 1a: Monitor resting
heart rate
– Gather 2-3 data points (more
if possible).
• Experiment 1b: Monitor
“Aroused” heart rate
– Gather 2-3 data points (more
if possible).

20.
Post Experiment
• In your pair:
Determine average
resting and aroused
heart rates
– Calculate percent
change
• With one other pair:
Discuss your findings

21.
Debrief

22.
Music & Emotion
• Human. Whenever humans come
together there is music
• Big $. Americans spend more
money on music than on sex or
prescription drugs.
• Expert listeners, yet profess
ignorance. Most Americans qualify
as expert music listeners. Yet ,many
people who love music profess to
know nothing about it.
• Whole brain. Music is distributed
throughout the brain.
• Evokes emotion. The power of
music to evoke emotions is
harnessed by advertising
executives, filmmakers, military
commanders, and mothers.

23.
Better understanding of music à Better
able to understand our motives, fears,
desires, memories, and communication in
the broadest sense.

24.
Activity
• You will need to
get comfortable
• Experiment: Close
your eyes
– Listen
• What do you
notice?
• What mental
images appeared?

25.
Post Experiment
• Form small groups (2
to 6)
• Discuss what your
mind “saw” from the
music> Consider:
– Location (Where)
– Time (When -
historical)
– Context (What is
happening?)

26.
Debrief

27.
Top Takeaways: Sound/Music

28.
© David E. Goldberg 2011

29.
© 2013 David E. Goldberg
NOTICING, LISTENING, AND QUESTIONING

30.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
Four New
School Ideas:
The
Technologies
of Trust

31.
Old School: Fixed Mindset, Reward and
Punishment
“There are smart
students and not-so-
smart students. You
can’t do anything
about it.”
“Rewards and
punishments are the
most effective ways
to motivate
students.”
Final&Examination&
ME3221:&Transport&Theory&
!
!
Student!ID: 012-345-6789
Question!1! 15 /30
Question!2! 10 /30
Question!3! 12 /40
Total! 37 /100
Grade! Fail

32.
New School: Positive Psychology and
Intrinsic Motivation

33.
Old School: Professor as Expert

34.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
New School: Professor as Coach

35.
Old School: Things are the way they are.

36.
New School: We can understand and
change culture.
©David Goldberg ThreeJoy℠ Associates, Inc.
2010

37.
Old School:
Change is business as usual.
“I guess
I’ll appoint
a committee.”

38.
New School:
Intentional Change Leadership
iFoundr

39.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
Today : Coaching and Change

40.
Expert vs. Coach
• Expert:
– Shares knowledge.
– Students demonstrate
static mastery on
extrinsically important
exam to get grade.
• Coach:
– Draws out learning
– In domain where active
mastery is intrinsically
important to learn to
accomplish task.

41.
Coaches Beliefs About Clients
• Client is
– Resourceful
– Creative
– Whole
• Consistent with growth mindset, mastery
orientation, and learning goals.
• To extent possible, coach facilitates learning
and avoids judgment of performance.

42.
Coaching Toolkit
• Noticing
• Listening
• Questioning
• Language: distinctions,
assertions, assessments,
requests, and complaints
• Reframing stories
• Complete communication
• Vulnerability & courage
Useful for interacting with
colleagues, with students – and
also with yourself. Fernando Flores (b. 1943)

43.
© David E. Goldberg 2011

44.
© 2013 David E. Goldberg
NOTICING, LISTENING, AND QUESTIONING

45.
Noticing

46.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
The Story of Yesterday
Discuss yesterday with a partner at your table.
What events occurred? Who did you meet? What did
you no3ce about your physical surroundings? About
your thoughts & feelings? About others’ thoughts &
feelings around you?
Without judging yourself, on a scale of 1 (no3ced
li@le) to 10 (no3ced everything), how much did you
no3ce yesterday (today)?

47.
What do you notice right now?

48.
Centrality of Noticing to Change
• The range of what we
think and do is limited by
what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to
notice that we fail to
notice, there is little we
can do to change; until
we notice how failing to
notice shapes our
thoughts and deeds.
R. D. Laing (1927-1989)

49.
3 Domains of Noticing
Language
Body Emo?on

50.
Noticing Students

51.
Levels of Noticing:
The O-A-R Model
Observer Ac?on Results
First-order
learning
Second-order
learning
O à A à R
No?cing
mini-me

52.
Brain Science
• Noticing begets
increased connections.
• Meditation and
reflection builds
connections in prefrontal
cortex.
• Exercise self-observation
and noticing of others
and you get better at it.

53.
Exercise: Pause Practice
• Close eyes.
• Take 3 deep
breaths.
• Notice your
emotional-
mental state.

54.
© David E. Goldberg 2011

55.
Listening

56.
© David E. Goldberg 2011
Listening Exercise:
A Recent Experience
Identify someone to partner with. Decide which
of you will be the listener, and which will be the
storyteller.
Storytellers leave the room for 5 minutes; think
about a recent challenging experience.

57.
Level-1 or Internal Listening
• “Level I, our awareness is on ourselves. We
listen to the words of the other person, but our
attention is on what it means to us personally.
At Level I, the spotlight is on “me”: my
thoughts, my judgments, my feelings, my
conclusions about myself and others. … At
Level I, there is only one question: What does
this mean to me?”
Whitworth, Laura; House, Karen Kimsey; House, Henry Kimsey; Sandahl, Phillip (2010-11-15). Co-Ac?ve Coaching : New
Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life (Kindle Loca?ons 742-746). Davies-Black. Kindle Edi?on.

58.
Level-I Dialogue*
Student: The new semester is a disaster. I’ve got five technical classes, profs who keep
piling on homework, and I’m not sure that engineering is really even a good fit for me. I
really miss drawing and painting like I did in high school. And I’ve got a big mechanical
design proposal due next week.
FACULTY ADVISOR: I went through the same thing when I was your age. The key is to
make sure you’ve got your long-term vision of an engineering career in sight.
Student: That’s sort of the dilemma, though. I thought the promise of a job and high pay
was enough, but if engineering work is like engineering school, I’m not sure I want any
part of it.
FACULTY ADVISOR: That’ll work out. Your worries are temporary. Don’t let them
distract you from the real issues—getting good grades and graduating.
Student: This feels like more than a little distraction.
FACULTY ADVISOR: I’m sure you can tough it out. I had my share of tough semesters
too, and I’m glad I stuck with it. In the meantime, let’s get back to the concept for your
design proposal.
Student: Okay. If you’re sure . . .
*Adapted from Whitworth, Laura; House, Karen Kimsey; House, Henry Kimsey; Sandahl, Phillip (2010-11-15). Co-Ac?ve Coaching :
New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life (Kindle Loca?ons 766-778). Davies-Black. Kindle Edi?on.

59.
Level-II or Focused Listening
• At Level II, there is a sharp focus on the other
person. We listen to the other person to
understand them on their own terms.
Sometimes you can see it in each person’s
posture: both leaning forward, looking intently
at each other. There is a great deal of
attention on the other person and not much
awareness of the outside world
Whitworth, Laura; House, Karen Kimsey; House, Henry Kimsey; Sandahl, Phillip (2010-11-15). Co-Ac?ve Coaching : New
Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life (Kindle Loca?ons 783-785). Davies-Black. Kindle Edi?on.

60.
Level-II Dialogue*
Student: The new semester is a disaster. I’ve got five technical classes, profs who keep
piling on homework, and I’m not sure that engineering is really even a good fit for me. I
really miss drawing and painting like I did in high school. And I’ve got a big mechanical
design proposal due next week.
FACULTY ADVISOR: In what ways is art important to you? This is a critical period in
your engineering education.
Student: Art helps me express myself and it helps me keep a sense of balance. Right
now I feel like a bit of a robot.
FACULTY ADVISOR: How can you do art and finish the engineering education you’ve
started?
Student: I suppose I could clone myself.
FACULTY ADVISOR: I can see this is a real dilemma. You’ve got values to honor in more
than one important area of your life. Let’s look at some options. Would that be useful?
Student: Yeah. Good. Frankly, I was starting to feel trapped—like there was no way out.
* Adapted from Whitworth, Laura; House, Karen Kimsey; House, Henry Kimsey; Sandahl, Phillip (2010-11-15). Co-Ac?ve
Coaching : New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life (Kindle Loca?ons 811-822). Davies-Black. Kindle
Edi?on.

61.
Debrief

62.
Powerful questions

63.
Effective Level 2 Listening:
Powerful Questions
• Different types of
questions:
– Information gathering
– Open-ended
questions
• Powerful questions are
usually open-ended.
• Short-cut to powerful
questions: Begin every
question with the word
“what.”

64.
Begin your questions with “What.”

65.
12 What Questions
1. What do you want?
2. What are your choices?
3. What assumptions are you
making?
4. What are you responsible
for?
5. In what other ways can you
think about this?
6. What is the other person
thinking, feeling, and
wanting?
7. What are you missing or
avoiding?
8. What can you learn? ... from
this person or situation? ...
from this mistake or
failure? ... from this success?
9. What action steps make the
most sense?
10. What questions should I ask
(myself or others)?
11. What can turn this into a
win-win?
12. What's possible?
Marilee G Adams. Change Your Ques3ons, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for
Life and Work (p. 184). Kindle Edi?on.

66.
Curiosity, Judgment & Spaciousness
• Coach listens at level two (with empathy,
without ego).
• Coach is curious about what client thinks.
• Coach does not tell stories about him/herself.
• Coach does not judge right and wrong. May
assess whether action serves or does not
serve client.
• These actions create spaciousness for client
to explore what he or she thinks, knows, feels.

67.
Roomwise: I can use deeper listening at my
school, in my classroom, in my life by doing …?

68.
Top Takeaways

69.
Closing with poetry

70.
2 Ways to Deeper Listening
Increased awareness through music + NLQ (noticing-listening-questioning)
Jeff Evans & Dave Goldberg
Purdue University & ThreeJoy Associates, Inc.
jje@purdue.edu & deg@bigbeacon.org