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When is the right time to get married 10 questions to help you answer

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For FREE tips and advice on how to attract him, capture his heart and commit to you, visit http://decodinghim.com/subscribe. To know more about Lauren Trecosta, visit her website www.counselingbreakthrough.com.

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When is the right time to get married 10 questions to help you answer

  1. 1. www.CounselingBreakthrough.com www.DecodingHim.comWhen Is The Right Time To Get Married- 10 Questions to HelpYou AnswerKnowing when the right time for YOU to get married is a big deal. Let’s be clear. Thereis no clear-cut cast-in-stone time that is the perfect time to get married. When to getmarried is really more about what you want for yourself both before and after marriage.These questions will help you figure out the best time for YOU to get married.1. Have you given yourself a chance to pursue goals outside marriage first?Marriage is an enormous life-changing decision. It is wonderful, and it will more thanlikely come your way some time in your life. Because it has definition, we often wonderlong and hard about when to do it, who to do it with, and how to do it right. More oftenthan not, healthy marriages begin when we are actively engaged in the process ofliving. In other words, worry less about marriage and worry more about fulfilling yourlife, your dreams, your happiness. As you pursue these goals, you will be more likely tomeet the mate of your dreams who fits into your life at the right time.2. Are you often angry, defensive, excessively self-absorbed apologetic?Pay attention if any of these symptoms are present. It is important to get a betterunderstanding of what is going on in your own personal life before you commit tomarriage. Any one of these seriously impacts a relationship, usually not for thebetter. Get help to understand and re mediate the underlying issues. It is important tounderstand the role the behaviors play in a relationship and what happens to therelationship when those behaviors are gone.3. Are you happy?Too many people expect relationships to be the salve for problems and feelings offailure in their lives. A relationship can add to your happiness. It can even make youfeel happy when you would, otherwise, be unhappy. But it, alone, cannot be your
  2. 2. www.CounselingBreakthrough.com www.DecodingHim.comhappiness. It is imperative that you are happy, know how to be happy, and are pursuingthe goals that make you happy before you get married.4. Do you get positive feedback from your trusted friends and family regardingmarriage?Our closest friends and family members provide a valuable reflection for us as towhether or not we are ready for marriage. Often, we may not want to hear it. Even thatis valuable information. Turn an ear toward them. Listen to what you can. Don’t deferthe decision to them, but open your mind to their feedback and take in what feelsreasonable information even if it is uncomfortable. A lot of times, people can point backto ‘advice’ they ignored because they didn’t want it to be true.5. Do both you and your partner feel like you have completed your respectivepersonal goals?It is important that both partners have pursued and achieved personal goals beforegetting married. When each partner pursues their goals, they grow and evolve. Beingmore fully developed and authentic is helpful to any relationship and especially tomarriage.6. Do both you and your partner want to move your relationship into a marriage?When one person has been bitten by the marriage bug, and the other has not, it can bestressful on the relationship. A topic which otherwise would have been fun and excitingbecomes dreaded and upsetting. It is not the way to begin a marriage. What to dowhen you want to get married and your partner does not is another question and is fartoo complicated to address here. There are many answers. At the very least, Irecommend getting help — either individual or couple — to help determine the factorsinvolved and the path forward.
  3. 3. www.CounselingBreakthrough.com www.DecodingHim.com7. Do you want to get married because you want to get married for healthyreasons and not because of fear, desperation, or family (or your own)expectations?Some people tell me that they knew when they were on the altar that they were makinga mistake. Some people have told me they didn’t want to lose the connection with theirpartner’s family or to cause pain to parents. Some people have said that they didn’twant to look like fools and lose money by calling of a wedding. All this to say, it isimportant to get married because you want to get married for healthy reasons.8. Are both you and your partner able to compromise and integrate each other’sthoughts and feelings into the decision-making process?An important part of knowing when to get married is having trust in your collectivedecision making process. Together, you will have to identify the needs of therelationship along with your own individual needs. You will need to learn how tocommunicate about them and learn how to satisfy them on a landscape which seemsstable but is, in fact, ever-evolving if even at a slow rate of change.9. Are you and your partner willing to reach out for help?There will always be people who have been there and done that before us. Reach outfor help before the need is critical. Be willing to learn, grow, and evolve through theexample and interaction with others.10. Is your relationship synergistic?This means together you create something even greater than you do asindividuals. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t individuals, too. But you each bring outthe best in each other. Clearly, people do this with families all the time. But don’t stopthere. Can you do it with life goals, passions, and purposeful living? Can you touch,move, create, invent, and think in a way together that is even greater than what you cando apart?
  4. 4. www.CounselingBreakthrough.com www.DecodingHim.comMarriage is one of those things that women often feel like they are both supposed to do— and that they genuinely want to do, but can become confused as to when to do it. Itsounds deceptively simple to say, “Do it when you’re ready,” and yet it is true. Whenyou are 100% ready, you’re happy and balanced as an individual, and you’re marryingfor desire and not fear, worry, or expectations, then you won’t have to ask. You willknow. It is time to get married.About the authorLauren Trecosta, LPC, is the Counselor on the Road who provides accessible andaffordable counseling to couples who want a better relationship. She offers courses, anadvice column, on-line individual and couples counseling, and small group work.To know more about Lauren, visit her website, www.CounselingBreakthrough.com.For more free tips and insights on what really attracts a man, how tomake yourself irresistible to him and how to capture his heart, click thelink below.www.decodinghim.com

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