The breakup am i ready to date again


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The breakup am i ready to date again

  1. 1. www.DecodingHim.comThe Breakup: Am I Ready to Date Again?After a break-up, you may be feeling a mixture of emotions, from loneliness andsadness to nervous excitement and a whole lot of things in between. You may evenhave an overwhelming feeling to jump back into dating again. But dating after a breakupcan be a tricky proposition. Before even considering dating again you need to do somedeep soul work. This involves honestly examining your past relationship to mine everylast bit of learning you can from it. The following are very important questions toconsider in determining if you are ready to start dating after a breakup:Have I let go?Healing doesn’t come easy, and if you were in a long-term relationship, it can be evenharder. Being with someone new means establishing a new life. You can’t begin anewwhen you still have excess baggage from the past. If you start dating and find yourselftalking more about your ex than getting to know the person in front of you, thenyou’re not ready. A date is neither the time nor the place to talk incessantly about howyour past relationship failed. When you can truly let go with peace in your heart, you canallow new love to enter.Have I Taken 100% responsibility for my half of the breakup?No matter how horrible and no good your ex may be, YOU too have a part in therelationship’s demise. Yep, sister you do! Have you seriously looked at how youcontributed to the relationship; its strengths and its weaknesses? Too often I see peoplegetting into another relationship with a thought process that goes something like this: “Ijust haven’t found the ‘right one’ or it’s them not me.” If this is where you are – thinkagain!!!If your relationship was wrought with poor communication, fighting and blaming thenthose are learned unproductive behaviors that must be re-learned. Consider workingwith a relationship coach or communication expert. Remember research shows thatmuch of what goes wrong in a love relationship has to do with the couples lack of
  2. 2. www.DecodingHim.comrelationship skills. You can’t have a new, healthy and satisfying relationship with thesame skills that ended the last one.Am I whole enough to be with someone new?Develop a picture of what would make you the most desirable version of yourself,internally and externally. Take a look at your emotional health, physical health, financialhealth, communication style, friendships, work and your fun time or hobbies. Datingbefore you are satisfied in these areas of your life can be disastrous. It can add toomuch pressure on the other person to meet all of your needs. Concentrate on whatareas of your life need improvement, and create an action plan to become whatever ismissing in your picture before you begin dating.Do I want a fling or a relationship?When you are on the road to dating again after a break up, you may feel the need forcloseness and connection. Some people fall into the trap of hooking up with their ex justbecause they can’t stand the lonely nights. You may also find yourself rushing into anew relationship. Think this over and be true to yourself. Do you simply need themoment or do you want a relationship? If you want a long-term relationship do the workabove and take the time to do it right so you don’t have to do it over again.About the authorAna Loiselle is a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Author. As the owner of The NewMexico Relationship Center, she has applied sensible, positive and effective strategiesto help singles and couples work out their relationship challenges. She specializes inimproving communication, and understanding how to make relationships work.For more information visit or call 505.872.8743
  3. 3. www.DecodingHim.comFor more free tips and insights on what really attracts a man, how tomake yourself irresistible to him and how to capture his heart, click thelink