I still can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend what should i do


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For FREE tips and advice on how to attract him, capture his heart and commit to you, visit http://decodinghim.com/subscribe. To know more about Dr. David, visit www.drdavidbakerhargrove.com.

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I still can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend what should i do

  1. 1. I Still Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex Boyfriend: WhatShould I Do?Q. My name is Ashley and my ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 years back. It wasdevastating for me and I did not see it coming. He said that he wanted to travel theworld and do a lot of things. He was not sure if he would have the time for a relationshipand it would be very hard to do long distance. He did not want to keep me waiting eventhough I said I would and felt the best thing for both of us was to part as friends.I was a complete mess after the breakup- became depressed, lost a lot of weight andisolated myself from friends and family. Eventually I recovered and took some time toheal before I started dating. Just when I was beginning to feel good about myself andstart dating, my mind started comparing every guy I dated with my ex.Needless to say this was very difficult for me. The more I tried to not compare or eventhink of my ex, the worse I felt. It seemed as if I had no power and control over my mind.This is mentally very taxing for me. I feel as if I am caught in a rut and cannot seem tofind a way out.I feel a part of me just refuses to move on and acknowledge the fact it is over. I havelost quite a few great guys because of my self sabotaging behavior. My confidence islow and I frankly feel like crap most of the time. I never ever imagined I would be likethis.What can I do to overcome my problem? Any advice would be appreciated.A. Typically, when we are still going over and over a break up that happened in thepast, it means we have interpreted it to mean something about us that we finduncomfortable and don’t want to face. So, I will ask you to ask yourself, “What does thisbreak up say about me? What did it mean? What am I still trying to get out of thisrelationship I think I can’t get anywhere else?”Your letter brings to sparks other questions for me I think are relevant for you.1. You write that your boyfriend decided he wanted to travel extensively and do thingsand you didn’t see it coming. Normally these are not the types of decisions one makessuddenly or surprisingly. You didn’t say how long you were together, but there had tohave been signs you either refused to see or ignored. If you have a pattern of notpaying attention to what is going on in your relationships, you are at risk of findingyourself in this space over and over again.2. You write that you have lost out on a lot of great guys since because you can’t getover your ex. If they were so great and you can acknowledge that, it leads me towww.drdavidbakerhargrove.com www.DecodingHim.com
  2. 2. believe you are running from healthy, mature love. That behavior coincides withbecoming very attached to someone (your ex) whom I suspect was emotionallyunavailable long before he left.Of course, there may be a lot of pertinent details I don’t know that couldn’t be includedin your letter, so it’s hard to respond with the best possible answer. These are somethings you might consider. If any of it rings true, I would suggest you seek a qualifiedrelationship therapist to help you learn how to create and sustain love more effectivelyin your life.About Dr. David Baker-HargroveDavid Baker-Hargrove, Ph.D., LMHC, DAPA is a psychotherapist, speaker, andmotivational coach.Over the past 15 years, he has presented at international, national, state, and regionalconferences and has provided presentations and/or consulted for local and regional lawenforcement in Central Florida. He has counseled over 150 people who are transitioningtheir gender, and considered a community leader, not only as a therapist, but for hisskills being organizer, leader, and adviser to numerous Central Florida non-profitorganizations. In October and November of 2001, he worked at World Trade Centerground zero helping our brave fire fighters and police men and women.He currently owns and operates a mental health and consulting firm in downtownOrlando. The firm sees clients from all over the United States via video conference.What he sees is important is helping people realize and achieve their greatest potential,no matter what in life they are dealing with. We can all be something greater than weare right now.Find out more at www.drdavidbakerhargrove.com. For more free tips and insights on what really attracts a man, how tomake yourself irresistible to him and how to capture his heart, click the link below. www.decodinghim.comwww.drdavidbakerhargrove.com www.DecodingHim.com