Gean Journal Highlights Haiku Literary Genres

Welcome to Notes from the Gean the journal of
haiku, tanka, haiga, haibun, linked forms & more.

Brought to you by Gean Tree Press.

Mission Statement:

We seek to encourage excellence, experimentation and education
within haiku and its related genres. We believe this is best
accomplished by example and not imitation. Our aim is for authenticity
above all else. We therefore solicit your finest examples of haiku, tanka,
haiga, haibun and renga/renku so that we may "hear" your voices
speak.

The Editors

For details on how to submit to Notes from the Gean please check our
SUBMISSIONS page.

cover artwork Colin Stewart Jones

Overall content copyright © 2012 Gean Tree Press. All Rights Reserved.

Notes from the Gean 3:4
Page 2

contents

linked forms
Tsunami p.4, Patent Leather Shoe p.10-12, Man Standing in Rain p.21, Sepia Blues p.29, Fairground Animals p.38,
Moonlight Settles p.60, Stars that know no sadness p.67, The power of light p.68, "rain on the tracks" p.88,
In The Rain p.96-98, “the short goodbye” p.106-108, Tea at the Tate & Around the Gherkin p.116-117,
A maggot & Scattered moon p.122

haiku
haiku 1 p.5 haiku2 p.6, haiku 3 p.13, haiku 4 p.24, haiku 5 p.25, haiku 6 p.36, haiku 7 p.37, haiku 8 p.42,
haiku 9 p.43, haiku 10 p.58, haiku 11 p.59, haiku 12 p.70, haiku 13 p.71, haiku 14 p.86, haiku 15 p.87,
haiku 16 p.99, haiku 17 p.109, haiku 18 p.115, haiku 19 p.126, haiku 20 p.127, haiku 21 p.128

tanka
tanka 1 p.7, tanka 2 p.19, tanka 3 p.27 tanka 4 p.40, tanka 5 p.41, tanka 6 p.57, tanka 7 p.72, tanka 8 p.73,
tanka 9 p.90, tanka 10 p.91, tanka 11 p.95, tanka 12 p.112, tanka 13 p.113, tanka 14 p.119, tanka 15 p.124,
tanka 16 p.125

haibun
In Another Town p.8, How an acceptance happens – Into the Sky p.14-18, a trace of warmth p.26,
Searching the Size p.39, House and Bird p.56, Guilty Pleasures p.65, After Arrival p.66, ‘The Point p.76,
“The midnight” p.77, A little from the tip p.89, shadows p.93, THE SEASIDE p.103, Return p.104,
The Narrow Gate p.105, Mountain in Late Afternoon p.114, One Nation Under Jazz p. 120-121,
The Summing Ups and Downs p.123

haiga
coming home p.9, log fire p.20, day by day p.28 river weir p.35, time p.55, early spring p.64, a break p.69,
Sunday drizzle p.74, falling leaves p.75, barnacles p.85 wild geese p.92, knotholes p.94 chilly autumn breeze p.110,
rose cuttings p.111, woodpile p.118, waiting p.129

The Dreaming Room
heatwave p.22, wildflowers p.23, on a bare branch p.61-62, snow melting p.63, smell of bile and winter hive p.100-101,
two months gone p.102

essays/haiku matters
Humour in Haiku p.30-34

special feature
NaWriHaiMo p.44-53, Old Pond Comics p.54.

interviews
Jack Galmitz p. 78-84.

reviews
small hours p.130-132, Leptir nad pučinom p.133

back page
dog days p.134

Page 3

Tsunami

seized
from the mud
one lottery ticket

a shaking of heads
as the earth
shakes

one mother
cradling
a piece of rock

someone else’s mother
finding
a missing shoe

a minute’s silence
just the rumbling of sea
children’s voices

the old man shrugs
remembering
Hiroshima

out of the rubble
a new road
bending into sunlight

Peter Butler U.K.

Page 4

Wires run through
the sky. All platforms flooded
by march.

Volker Friebel - Germany

Land of snow—
the crows wings shimmer
when turning.


Waning March light.
Sheep on the river, their mouths
washed by water.


swan
wrapped in sleep—
drifting moon

John McDonald - Scotland

full moon—
winter’s stillness
in a soap bubble

Ramesh Anand - Malaysia

Page 5

nearing dusk
a girl dumps bait worms
back into the earth

Ferris Gilli - USA

the mimosa tree
has closed its leaves . . .
vesper bell

Ferris Gilli - USA

morning star
the glimmer of gilt
from the spire

Köy Deli - Turkey

pulling up
an oak seedling—
the clinging acorn

Ruth Holzer - USA

this blue and white world—
even if the plane falls
at home in it

Ruth Holzer - USA

Page 6

the abbess
prays to the icon
of her groom:
"my womb is a chasm
deep as the morning star"

Köy Deli - USA

dusk
takes its time
to linger
on the soft blues
of March snow

Christina Nguyen - USA

the establishing shot
of an old film
set in New York . . .
there they both stand
with the world yet to change

Jon Baldwin - USA

Page 7

In Another Town

As you dream in another town, I stroll to the
lake at dawn for a swim. At a curve in the path,
a lily has bloomed as blue as the sky at dusk. I
kneel.

I want to bring it to you. Instead, I can only let
you know it was there.

endless sky –
sun shines on the
spires of pines

Hortensia Anderson – USA

Page 8

Cherie Hunter Day - USA

Page 9

Patent Leather Shoe

A Kasen Renku

more light to ponder
what might grow Michele
from here

turning the earth
with garden tools John

sticky silk threads
of a chrysalis Michele
soon to shed its skin

knitted doilies
in the linen closet John

the moon
has drawn us Michele
to a distant shore

his confidence about
edible mushrooms John

-

alone
like a ghost Michele
on a windy corner

diligent rehearsal
of the kissing scene John

I undress
after dark Michele
before a flame

the rent is being
raised again John

observance of
a day no one wants Michele
to remember

Page 10

patent leather shoe
in the refrigerator John

return to the store
for more cold beer Michele
led by the summer moon

dusk deepened
by swarming bats John

chemical injections
leave her with Michele
a childlike look

“Little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I’ve got” John

the daffodils would be
pretty in a color Michele
other than yellow

soft edges of a cross
made of ashes John

-

roof leaks
in the same places John
as last year

inaccurate translations
are causing lots of problems Michele

the spell check feature
questions names John
like Auschwitz

not too old to pull
an all-nighter Michele

the doorman
at the end of John
a Christmas list

my neighbor throws crumbs
on snow for hungry birds Michele

Page 11

they say a cactus
can have all the water John
you need to survive

when we’re together
nothing else matters Michele

contractions
coming quickly John
in the car

annoyed by an
empty wallet Michele

moonlight silvers
the last window pane John
left unbroken

collapsing onto
a new pile of leaves Michele

-

I close the door
and padlock John
the boathouse

passing time
in a smoker’s cafe Michele

freshly shaved
showered John
and shampooed

a horseback ride
along mountain trails Michele

this very cool spring
in which the blossoms John
are snowy white

our upturned hands tap into
the pulse of a spring shower Michele

John Stevenson - USA
Michele Harvey - USA

Page 12

warm front
the romance novel
opens itself

John Hawk - USA

something more
in the air tonight
golden moon

John Hawk - USA

lost summer
the berries the birds
left behind

John Hawk - USA

thriller
my cat shreds
the last page

Pris Campbell - USA

grey morning dream
painted on the lake
is the sun.

Tatjana Debeljacki - Serbia

Page 13

How an acceptance happens – Richard Krawiec

I thought it might be interesting for some to read the process Penny Harter and I went
through that led to minor changes in her poem which is published in this issue. This is an
example of my process as an editor, her process as a writer, and the process we both
engaged in together. I have cut some of the familiar chit-chat out of these exchanges and
left in the focus on the poem.

1. Submission by Penny Harter

Into the Sea

A night light? I don't blow out my candles before sleep.

What dreams? A gray ghost whispered, "Mirrors always lie." Not that kind of lie.

Where do you sleep? In an abandoned steeple.

Do you get it now? Sure, like a kid wading into the sea.

stone Buddha—
in his lap, the glint
of mica

2. First response by Richard Krawiec

Penny,
Do you see the italicized parts as another voice, or in her mind? Love the haiku.

I do think "Sure, like a kid wading into the sea." lacks the poetry of the rest of your haibun. Are you
sure you even need that line and it's question?

Do you ever play around with your line order? Visually if you began with 'Where do you sleep"
then followed with 'A night light?' and 'What dreams?' you'd have a nice lengthening flow that
could represent both stairs and the sea. And I think the progression of questions makes narrative
sense that way too.

Page 14

3. Penny’s response

Hi Richard,

I've run the line order by a few folks, and when I suggested changing it, one well-respected haiku
poet said it was better, more natural, the way it was. That it worked better being that random—
more mysterious. I'd wanted to change it the way you suggested, for the narrative progression.

I understand your saying "like a child wading into the sea" lacks the same level of poetry (prose
poetry) as the rest. But the haiku is, in a way, an answer to wading into the sea—in that we never
"get it" all—and are just treading water. Of course the Buddha would say that there is nothing to
get. Perhaps I can rephrase that question and answer more elegantly.

The questions could come from anywhere. I think it's best to leave them vague—could be from
another speaker, or in the speaker's head. Or from the void :). They are both random and
narrative, but strange questions, thoughts, not unlike those one has sometimes in that state
between sleeping and waking. They just came to me that way.

Let's see:

If I were to get rid of the "Do you get it now? " question and answer line, I'd want the "abandoned
steeple" line to stay where it is—leading to the Buddha. . . the steeple representing the use of
organized religion. . . Of course I wasn't consciously thinking about much, if any, of this while
writing it.

Let me think on this a while and get back to you. I welcome any responses you have to my
thoughts above.

4. Richard’s reply

Penny,
I don't think I'd want you to identify where the questions are coming from, I was just curious what
you thought.

I am trying to look at haibun more from a broader poetry perspective not just a haiku poet's
perspective.

But as Jane Hirshfield says, I can give you my honest advice but you need to retain the right to
reject it all because it's your poem, and you need to do what you want with it.

I am not always right, and people who I have published in gean can tell you that I listen as well as
suggest. But I am a good editor and I think I’m right about the line order.

Again, that does not mean I'm right. But I believe I am in this case.

continued overleaf

Page 15

5. Penny replies

Hi Richard,

You are convincing me to go with my first impulse---and your suggestion---move that line about
"where do you sleep" to the first line.

Let me think a little more about the "into the sea" line—to keep or change or omit—and I'll get back
to you soon.

6. Penny again

Hi Richard,

I want to change that last line totally. The question completes the circle that begins with "Where do
you sleep?" I pared the answer down to just "The sky", though I was thinking things like "I raise my
face into the sky," or "I give myself to the sky." It works for me because sea and sky are mirror
images of each other.

And as I decided on "The sky" for my answer, I was remembering a haiku I wrote in the late
eighties when Bill and I were staying in a pilgrim's dormitory on Mount Haguro, Japan. Here is an
excerpt from my essay "Seeing and Connecting" from The Unswept Path (White Pine Press,
2005) about that experience and the haiku:

_______________________________________________

During the summer of 1987 my husband and I were fortunate enough to spend the night in a
pilgrims' dormitory on Mount Haguro in Yamagata Prefecture, Japan. When I entered the room, its
entire far end open to the sky, I quickly crossed the space to the edge of the tatami-matted floor
and opened my arms:

fingertip to fingertip
and still more sky---
Mount Haguro."

__________________________________________________

So, how about the following---and I'm wondering whether the spaces should be maintained
between questions/answer lines, or not. I think I like the spaces. And maybe "whispered" should
be in present tense: "whispers". What do you think?

Page 16

Into the Sea



What dreams? A gray ghost whispered, "Mirrors always lie." Not that kind of lie.

And when you wake? The sky.

stone Buddha—
of mica

7. Richard replies

I love this. 'The sky' is perfect. You're right, we should keep the spaces between questions and
answers. And I would change whispered to 'whispers'.

8. Penny responds

So we'll go with the corrected version, below. Only thing, is maybe we ought to change the title,
since the "sea" no longer is in the poem. If so, it could be "Into the Sky." OR, we could call it "Night
Thoughts". What do you think?

9. Richard responds

I like 'Into the Sky' because the glint of mica pierces the sky, too.

I have really enjoyed working with you. I think editors and writers should work together. I don't see
my job as trying to tell you how to write - but to recognize what it is you're aiming for. I learn a lot
from hearing what you have to say, and that helps me be a better editor on other pieces.

So this is the final.

Please turn the page for the final piece

Page 17

Into the Sky



What dreams? A gray ghost whispers, "Mirrors always lie." Not that kind of lie.

And when you wake? The sky.

stone Buddha—
of mica

Penny Harter – USA

Page 18

how did it begin
neither of us made
the first move—
you empty your mind
I empty the bins

Jon Baldwin - USA

when our eyes
first touched
my heart beat
like church bells
on Sunday

Jon Baldwin - USA

the kettle
begins its cool
moodswings . . .
I blame my father
and he blames his

Jon Baldwin - USA

Page 19

Maire Morrissey-Cummins - Ireland

Page 20

Man Standing in the Rain

willow leaves
turn away—
first drops of rain

rain coat
one size too big—
river down my back

walking in the rain—
missing one puddle
but not the next

listening to rain
under my umbrella—
thousands of haiku

after the rain
playing a game
of pick-up sticks

horizontal rain—
what wind
looks like

Jerry Dreesen - USA

Page 21

The Dreaming Room

heatwave by Carole MacRury: a commentary by Michael Dylan Welch

A Favourite Haiku

heat wave—
the horse blinks away
a gnat’s life

—Carole MacRury

One supposed rule of haiku is to use concrete objective imagery, yet here is a poem that successfully
employs abstraction—referring to the concept of the gnat’s “life.” Yet it works because everything else
in the poem is concrete. We can accept the fact that there’s a heat wave, and enter into what that
means—lethargy, sweat, and a longing for cool shadows. We can easily see a horse blinking, too, and
can marvel in the poet’s close observation in seeing a gnat at a horse’s eye. But imagine if the poem’s last
line were just “a gnat.” That could work, too, and perhaps we could leap to the same realization of the
contrast in size between these large and small animals. Yet saying simply “a gnat” would lack not just
the realization that the gnat’s short life has ended, but the larger interplay between the objects of the
poem and the subjective realization of the poet. This is best done as lightly as possible, however, for too
much subjectivity or abstraction drowns a haiku. By inserting just this touch of abstraction, the poet
reveals her engagement with the objects described, and we as readers see that as well as seeing the
objectively described images. Whether this was achieved consciously or accidentally is of little
consequence. What matters is that haiku can be larger than a purely objective description, if carefully
handled. The key detail is to find the necessary balance, as this poem does, between the primarily
objective depictions and that touch of subjectivity or abstraction.

Carole MacRury’s “heat wave” is from Haiku Friends Vol. 2.,
Masaharu Hirata, ed., Osaka, Japan: Umeda Printing Factory, 2007, page 68.

Michael Dylan Welch -USA

Page 22

wildflowers by George Swede: a commentary by Lynne Rees

wildflowers
I cannot name
most of me

George Swede

The opening line, composed of a single word, slows me down with its first two long syllables. And that
pace is perfect for the contemplation woven through this economical haiku.

The pivot line is structurally satisfying – it rocks me in (wildflowers/I cannot name) and out (I cannot
name/most of me) of the haiku – as is the balance of 3/4/3 syllables. But these formal characteristic serve
the ideas behind the haiku too.

The first two lines, taken as a couplet, describe a concrete experience that’s probably common to all of
us: a lack of knowledge or names forgotten as we walk through the countryside. The haiku instantly
involves me, invites me to share the moment.

The 2nd and 3rd lines present a different kind of couplet: a personal reflection that is both concrete and
abstract. How many of us could recite the litany of parts that make up our own complex organism? And
how many of us are convinced that we truly know and understand ourselves: the different identities we
adopt, the strange imagery that comes to us in dreams, or spontaneous and surprising emotion in
response to unexpected events?

Yet all of those things are offered to us in this haiku of seven words.

Haiku are such light expressions it is easy to overload them with philosophy. The movement from the
natural world in line 1 to the economy of expression in lines 2 and 3 avoids that through
understatement and simple declarative phrase. It manages to be both witty and thoughtful.

It is perhaps no accident that this haiku is the final one in George Swede’s collection. Rather than close
down the book, it opens it up for me, encourages me to reflect on what I cannot name, what I do not
know, about myself and the wider world. It sets me on a road of discovery, should I choose to take it.

George Swede, Joy in Me Still, inkling press, Edmonton, AB T6G 2T5, Canada, p.79

Eat, Live, Write with Lynne Rees at the hungry writer
Author of Real Port Talbot due from Seren Books in 2013

Lynne Rees – UK

Page 23

the longest night . . .
every mistake
I ever made

Bill Kenney - USA

hunter's moon
the old dog sighs
into sleep

Bill Kenney - USA

traveller
my sister returns
with two heartbeats

isadora vibes - UK

picking my way
among the broken lives
low tide

Jo McInerney - Australia

café lights
through the slanting rain
a slow love song

Jo McInerney - Australia

Page 24

an old argument
untangling
the christmas lights

Ben Moeller-Gaa - USA

late afternoon sun
walking through
the shadows of strangers

Ben Moeller-Gaa - USA

sunrise
a champagne cork
bubbles down the river

Tiggy Johnson - Australia

late December rains — the water dragon's first wingflash

Beverly Acuff Momoi - USA

waning moon
a lizard's tail dangling
from the cat's mouth

Beverly Acuff Momoi - USA

Page 25

a trace of warmth

insomnia all the shadows of things

when the day opens awkwardly I leave the house and walk through the orchard to the row of
leylandii and look at the depressions in the dusty ground where I'm sure the wild pheasants nestle
during the day, even though I only know them from claw marks left in the earth; my hand never
finds a trace of warmth in the shallow bowls, not even a feather

some days I catch a glimpse of them – the males barred bright gold and brown, their red wattles,
the mottled females – skittering between the rows of apple trees, always keeping a distance

how can they trust us after all this time?

I startled them once, in the farmyard when I opened the back door, a dozen or more of them taking
flight at the sound then sight of me: the whirr of wings loud enough to make me step back
suddenly, alarm mixed with delight, flashes of green and purple returning to me at moments for the
rest of that day, like a charge to the heart

Lynne Rees - UK

Page 26

a crystal dewdrop
rests on an oak leaf . . .
immersed
in the breeze
I want to see my future

Marion Clarke - USA

my father
sinking
behind a cloud . . .
I draw him gently
with a pencil

Ken Slaughter - USA

one more sip
of my Starbucks latte...
through the window
Chairman Mao's stern face
above the Tiananmen Gate

Chen-ou Liu – Canada

Page 27

Irene Szewczyk -Poland

Page 28

Sepia Blues a "renray"

abandoned row houses—
behind them in the field
a scarecrow grins

dust on his toes
mud on his heels

opened bindle—
a hobo puffs
his corncob pipe

lucky stars
a possum for the burgoo

first snowfall
crowns the highest peaks

migrations—
she hums while sorting
seed from pod

a waft of pumpkin spice
in the cold crisp air

quilt to my neck
father reads
of Ichabod Crane

Penny Harter, Susan Myers Nelson, Curtis Dunlap
and Terri L. French – USA (verses in that order)

Page 29

haiku matters
Humour in Haiku: Colin Stewart Jones

What may be funny to one person may not be funny to the next. It would be foolish to try to narrowly
define such a broad subject area with one simple definition, but here goes anyway: it’s funny if it makes
you laugh! The masthead of Haijinx boldly declares that it is ‘putting the hai back in haiku’—hai,
meaning humorous or joke—but what is humour in haiku, and has it ever been there?

The pun is perhaps the simplest form of wordplay and yet also the most disdained. Generally speaking,
people seem to fall into two categories when it comes to wordplay and either totally embrace it or reject
it in all of its forms because of the negativity that has come to be associated with punning. Yet, as we
will see wordplay is a device that has often been adopted in haiku. For an example of brilliant use of
wordplay let us firstly look at Bashō’s most famous poem:

At the ancient pond
a frog plunges into
the sound of water 1

Bashō turns everything we think we know on its head with this poem. We know it is the action of the
frog that disperses the water to make the sound and that an object cannot enter into a sound; yet
something immediately registers with the reader and they instinctively understand the poem, even
though Bashō is saying the opposite of what is true. Basho’s quirky take on the natural order has made
the situation surreal and, therefore, funny. There is a deeper philosophical significance here also
whereby Bashō cleverly makes the laws of cause and effect, seem absurd.

Basho’s use of humour is equally effective in the following haiku:

Summer grasses:
all that remains of great soldiers’
imperial dreams 2

On first reading one feels the poet’s sadness and there is no denying the pathos. The poem is a rather
damning indictment on the futility of war. On second reading, one is struck by the inclusion of the
word ‘great’. Surely, not all soldiers are great in stature or deed. One may ask; how would Bashō know if
they were ‘great’ now that the grass is covering them? He didn’t. By showing us that something as
simple as the grass has covered the mighty, Bashō is mocking them and, by extension, their noble ideals.
Bashō was, of course, not always so subtle and he resorted to plain sarcasm when he described his
imitators as melons.

Buson uses similar language to Bashō’s ‘summer grasses’ in the following haiku:

1
Trans; Sam Hamill,The Sound of Water: Haiku by Bashō, Buson, Issa and Other Poets,
(Shambala, Boston 2000) p.6
One may argue over the precision of some translations but I have chosen the versions that I believe best highlight
humour of haiku...and I don’t have many books.
2
ibid, p.34

Page 30

Nobly, the great priest
deposits his daily stool
in bleak winter fields. 3

While Bashō seems to be use a mocking tone, Buson is so deadpan in his rendering of the scene that
even the translator, Sam Hamill, notes that Buson is ‘reminding his audience that nobility has nothing
whatever to do with palaces and embroidered robes, but true nobility is obtainable in every human
endeavour.’ 4 This may perhaps seem the case to Hamill. The word nobly, however, in conjunction with
human toilet actions should immediately alert the reader that there is more going on here than simple
description of a scene. Nobly, sets this poem up so perfectly and allows one to instantly see the irony
and impossibility of the situation: try as he might, the great priest cannot be noble while being observed
doing something as common as his toilet. One can almost hear Buson’s irreverent laughter. The fact that
it is a bleak winter day just makes the priest’s attempts at being noble all the more ridiculous, but
completes the poem. No amount of pomp can disguise the fact that even the high and mighty are just
the same as common people because they must also move their bowels each day.

Plum blossoms in bloom,
in a Kitano teahouse,
the master of sumo 5

In this poem by Buson we see the delicateness of plum blossoms in bloom, symbolising the freshness of
youth, juxtaposed with the strength of the old wrestler. The master of a sumo wrestling stable was a
retired wrestler who would have been a good wrestler in his prime. The image of a presumably large
man sipping his tea in a teahouse, which was usually very small, is a funny one. The job of the master is,
of course, to bring blossoming talent into fruition. Though the fruit is never mentioned, the reader’s
mind is also projected ahead of time to envisage the plum fruit, and by extension the full, purple face of
the master wrestler.

If there is one word that best describes Issa, it is probably whimsical.

my noontime nap
disrupted by voices singing
rice-planting songs 6

The humour in Issa’s haiku is more obvious than either Bashō or Buson. Issa is seemingly more
concerned with his rest and how dare they, who sing through the necessity of planting, wake him.
However, one also sees a tongue firmly planted in Issa’s cheek. Part of Issa’s charm is that he seems not
to care what other people think of him as he wanders along observing or talking to creatures:

Under the evening moon
The snail
Is stripped to the waist. 7
3
ibid, p.55
4
ibid, translators introduction, p.xii
5
ibid, p.66
6
ibid p.91
7
Peter Washington, ed, Haiku, (Everyman, New York, 2003) p.69

Page 31

In this haiku, Issa cleverly shows us juxtaposition without ever directly mentioning it. We still see the
shell juxtaposed with the moon as the snail extends outwards. The image of someone stripped to the
waist usually implies work or action...maybe love. The humour of this haiku is contained in the absurd
idea of a snail being stripped to the waist and ready for action...but the ‘action’ is at a snail’s pace.

The poem below by Kerouac is an excellent example of how several layers of humour can be employed
in the one haiku:

In my medicine cabinet,
The winter fly
Has died of old age. 8

Due to an accidental incarceration in Kerouac’s medicine cabinet, a fly has managed to survive into the
Winter. Flies do not normally survive into the Winter and even though surrounded by medicine the fly
does eventually die we realise that Kerouac has been in good health because he did not need to visit his
medicine cabinet through the Winter. Kerouac’s health also ensures a lengthy extension to the fly’s life
and yet paradoxically also simultaneously causing its death. In the final irony, the dead fly is only
discovered when Kerouac needs to take some medicine; if only he had been unwell sooner the fly may
have survived.

The following haiku, by Nobel Laureate, Seamus Heaney, breaks what may some consider to be “rules”:
firstly it has a title; and secondly it follows a 575 metre. It is worth mentioning here that there are many
who still advocate a strict metre; the Scottish poet, Norman McCaig, used to say of poems that did not
follow the syllabic count “they are not haiku—they’re just wee poems”.

1.1.87

Dangerous pavements.
But I face the ice this year
With my father’s stick. 9

To many readers this haiku may not seem funny at all but, in fact, quite the opposite. On first reading
we notice Heaney now has to face his old age with his father’s stick. One presumes his father has died
and the stick has been passed on to him. There is a wonderfully slow sense of progression in the poem as
we go from generation to generation linked through the continuity of the stick being handed down.

One must be very careful with 575 haiku to avoid padding: notice the “but” at the beginning of line two,
some may perhaps ask if it is really needed to convey the message of the poem. Forget about the metre
for a moment and consider the haiku without the “but”:

I face the ice this year
With my father’s stick.

8
ibid p.237
9
Seamus Heaney, Seeing Things, (Faber and Faber London, 1991) p.20

Page 32

Is it not just simply a haiku about cycles of death and ageing now, as I have outlined above—with the
pathos being clearly evident. Heaney, however, is cleverly playing with the casual reader and while he
is happy if you think this he certainly wants people to look further. Look again at the complete poem
and ask why then did Heaney include the “but”? Do you hear the unvoiced laugh and the devil-may-
care tone of Heaney before he has even ventured outside?

Ha-ha!
But I face the ice this year
With my Father’s stick.

We could add more lines:

He got through it
And so will I.

Though modern writers of haiku seem to mainly look for juxtaposition of concrete images, it could be
argued that, they should also be trying to be more creative with their word choice and usage to
highlight any humour in a scene. Whether one likes the idea or not the basis of all poetry is wordplay;
and a joke also depends on wordplay to deliver its message. Of those who write humorous haiku today
many seem to take Issa’s questions to creatures as their reference point. I have done this myself:

empty bottle—
was it you
you little worm? 10

What else can one do when drunk and confronted with the dreaded empty bottle but blame someone
else. The Mescal worm was promptly eaten and, therefore, lost the argument; but did add much needed
protein to my diet.

In the following example Alan D. Taylor also uses the questioning technique to humorous effect:

wasp in a jar—
is there a point
to your anger? 11

While this is essentially a pun, it is a very good one, and seems like a valid question to ask.

Likewise Jeff Winke points out the pointless and has keen sense for the absurd with his haiku:

her training bra
with nothing to train:
bra in training 12

10
Colin Stewart Jones, A Seal Snorts out the Moon, (Cauliay, Aberdeen, 2007) p. 56
subsequently published in: New Resonance 7, Red Moon Press, (Winchester, USA, 2011)
11
Alan D Taylor, first published in: Clouds Peak #1, July 2006, online (now defunct)

Page 33

Is it the bra that is in training for when it will be needed to be a training bra? By using clever wordplay
and repetition of the same imagery, Winke, poses this unstated question which also ultimately asks;
“what’s the point?”

Sometimes the joke is much funnier if it takes a while for you to understand its subtleties.

outside the pub
the sailor
faces the wind 13

There is the obvious and mildly amusing allusion to being drunk and “three sheets to the wind” in
Chuck Brickley’s haiku. However, the poem also hints at other funny possibilities. Sailors seldom face
the wind because it is difficult to make headway. One assumes he is listing badly. There is also a very
real possibility his bladder is full and he needs to pee; any sober sailor would know of the danger of
facing the wind in that situation.

An objective writer would never disregard any device at his disposal which is capable of rendering a
scene with the most precision to achieve the desired effect. Poets are not meant to be reporters who
simply ‘tell it like it is’ but, rather by careful observation and inventiveness with words, poets should be
capable of spotting life’s ironies and elevating the seemingly ordinary into something special. It takes
great wit to play with words, and laughter is also a special gift which should be cultivated. From the
sublime to the ridiculous, humour in its many forms has always been, and still is, present in haiku. If the
moment requires humour, then as writers, should we not keep on putting the hai with the ku.

Bibliography

Books:

A Seal Snorts out the Moon, Colin Stewart Jones (Cauliay, Aberdeen, 2007)

Haiku, Peter Washington, ed., (Everyman, New York, 2003)

Seeing Things, Seamus Heaney, (Faber and Faber London, 1991)

The Haiku Anthology, 3rd Edition, Cor Van Den Heuval Ed
(WW Norton & Co, London, 1999)

The Sound of Water: Haiku by Bashō, Buson, Issa and Other Poets,
Trans; Sam Hamill (Shambala, Boston 2000)

Journals:

clouds peak #1, online journal 2006 (now defunct)

Frogpond, XXII:i, HSA Publications (USA, 1999)

12
Jeff Winke, Frogpond 1999, XXII:i, HSA publications, p.47
13
Chuck Brickley, The Haiku Anthology, 3rd Edition, Cor Van Den Heuval Ed (WW Norton & Co, London, 1999)

Page 34

John Byrne - Eire

Page 35

a tiny snail on
the long march across the pavement;
overnight rain
Timothy Collinson - UK

paper kites
above the mall's flat roof,
strengthening wind

Timothy Collinson - UK

low winter sun
warming up a row
of chimney pots

Marion Clarke - Ireland

morning mirror
caught staring
into my own eyes

Scott Owens - USA

lost in a blaze
of maples
the yellow fire hydrant

Angela Terry - USA

Page 36

not long enough
the bed
the night

Graham Nunn - Australia

redwood forest
a blue jay disappears
into sky

Graham Nunn - Australia

gathering storm
crows squabble
over the wheat field

Liz Rule - Australia

weeping willow
it’s not the wind
it’s the leaving

Lucas Stensland - USA

choosing at random
birds, wherever
they land

Lucas Stensland - USA

Page 37

Fairground Animals - Jūnichō

in a dark corner
the glow
of an apple

system failure
the quant grits his teeth

under an orange sun
young protesters
put up tents

an armed crew
storms the farm gates

unaware of their fate
nearby cows
moo loudly

baby’s burp
the smell of curdled milk

flowing concrete
a big footprint
takes shape

yeti sightings
up again this year

new planet
the soothsayer
predicts disaster

white cloud puffs
blur the spring moon

hanging curtains
a blue-headed moth
drops from the folds

fairground animals
spin into each turn

Participating poets and verse allocation:
Annie Bachini - England, 1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12
Steve Mason – England, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11

Page 38

Searching the Size

It is the evening hour of cloudy summer in Doon Valley, Dehradun. The children are busy
collecting pebbles from the river bank. The rock pebbles record the long journey to reach the
moon-like shape. Out of joy, I also start picking a few and return home. My tiny daughter, Rupa,
posts an eager look and smiles.

cut out of moon
the child reconfirms
looking up

P K Padhy - India

Page 39

thick, congealed
blood on the moonlit floor…
ten years later
slowly a face
takes shape in my mind

Chen-ou Liu - Canada

meerkats
in the zoo, tapping
bewildered
at glass walls, sniffing
a blue-painted ceiling

Amelia Fielden - Australia

I walk alone
beside Lake Ontario --
an eagle
circles above me
on this windless day

Chen-ou Liu - Canada

Page 40

Lake Ontario
cupped in my hands
a Taiwan moon . . .
her words linger in my heart
there's no there there

Chen-ou Liu- Canada

the white heron
lifts up, flies away
from the lake
with its reflection
and my melancholy

Amelia Fielden - Australia

clear water
cascading down my spine
I shake myself
out of the blue
of a kingfisher

Claire Everett - UK

Page 41

old friend—
embracing him
our bones collide


lobster fishermen
arguing—
a bag of claws


sleepless—
his pillow
full of voices


—a carcass
sibling crows gather
to pick the bones

Anne Curran - New Zealand

old gate
curlicues
of iron and creeper

Nick Sherwood - UK

Page 42

he asks if it’s
the end of the line
winter moon

Cara Holman - USA

plum blossom rain—
matching my step
to his

Cara Holman - USA

frost footprints
my memory of her
fading

Cara Holman - USA

end of a love . . .
honey hardens
in the jar

Polona Oblak - Slovenia

autumn berry
the tell-tale sign
of her lipstick

Tracy Davidson - UK

Page 43

Special Feature
NaHaiWriMo

NaWriHaiMo (National Haiku Writing Month) is an initiative that provides daily prompts on a Facebook
community page to stimulate its members to compose a haiku. It has just completed its second year and goes
from strength to strength.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/NaHaiWriMo/108107262587697?sk=wall

https://sites.google.com/site/nahaiwrimo/home

To celebrate its success, Michael Dylan Welch, the organiser of this February event which actually continues
throughout the year on Facebook, has announced that a book will be published featuring selected haiku from
NaWriHaiMo 2012.

Notes from the Gean believes that Michael’s initiative is an important one which fully lines up with our mission to
promote education, excellence and experimentation within haiku and are, therefore, pleased to run a special
feature on NaHaiWriMo.

Notes from the Gean surveyed members of the group with five brief questions and is pleased publish select
answers to each question: a kind of community interview if you will.

No 5-7-5 logo and Simpsons graphic by Michael Dylan welch

Page 44

Q1.
Colin Stewart Jones How did you first get to hear of NaHaiWriMo and would you actively promote the group to
other writers of haiku?

Tawnya Smith I heard about it last year from someone in my writing group. Several of them were participating in
NaNoWriMo. I told them novels were beyond me at the moment, and one suggested NaHaiWriMo. I'd also
seen it mentioned on a few blogs I read.

Anna Yin I found it through Google and thought it very interesting and wanted to challenge myself since I seldom
wrote with prompts...and it would last a whole month! I kept write one or three every day and had so much
fun to read others and my own. It just kept popping...with inspiration and joy...(even sometimes we wrote
haiku implying sad mood) when the last day, the prompt was leap year… see, time flies so I wrote: leap year,
your rare birthday, the painter add dragon’s eye…. in Chinese legend, as soon as the dragon was added eyes,
it would fly away…But gladly, we still stay here and keep writing.

Cameron Mount I recently joined a group of haijin in south Jersey, a new charter of the HSA which had its first
meeting in early February. In the email list that went around, one of the other poets (Penny Harter, actually)
mentioned the Facebook group. I jumped right on it. For the last few National Poetry Months I've written a
haiku a day anyway, and I've been a fan of Basho and Issa for quite a while, but never really had a
community to share my own with.

Jayashree Maniyil Answer to Q1 - I learnt about NaHaiWriMo through the poetry blog dVerse Poets Pub. There was
a post about haiku and its form (from memory) and everybody was encouraged to write one and link it to the
post. I think, as part of the discussion through the comments section, one of the comments to the post had a
link to NaHaiWriMo blog. That is how I landed here. Normally I don't trust my memory that much but I am
most certain that this is how I came to know of NaHaiWriMo. I would certainly recommend this site to
anybody who is keen on learning haiku. Lot of fantastic writers sharing the same page with beginners like me,
encouraging and providing constructive feedback, having fun together and learning from each other. And of
course we have useful tips shared by members and most importantly Michael - lots of reading material on
Graceguts. Every post that I make is one tiny step closer to understanding it....and of course with every step
forward, I slip back a few steps again!!! :-). Its all fun and good. I enjoy being here.

Hannah Gosselin I noticed a writing friend of mine doing a haiku a day challenge on a facebook page (I missed half
the month looking for it, as I didn't have the right name), but I've really been enjoying it now that I'm here
and I've posted a link to a friend to help her get back into the poetry practice, too…

Cara Holman I heard about NaHaiWriMo last year when I noticed several Facebook friends of mine clicking "Like" on
the page. I am always open to new poem-a-day challenges, so I decided to give it a try. Over a year later, I
am still writing (though not always posting) haiku daily. I would definitely recommend NaHaiWriMo to anyone
who wants to improve their haiku, develop a daily writing habit, or just connect with the online haiku
community.

Tore Sverredal I found it when I made a Facebook search for haiku groups and sites last autumn. I would definitely
recommend it to anyone interested in haiku!

Terry O'Connor First heard about it when I eavesdropped a whispered conversation at a Haiku Anonymous meeting
last year...tried everything to quit, but when I noticed that even cold turkey was a season word, I resigned
myself to my fate, and I've been here ever since.

I don't tell people...don't have to, it's an epidemic

Carlos Colón Susan Delphine Delaney gave be the scoop. I have spread the word to the NW La. Haiku Society, but
have not seen any of the members posting yet.

Alee Imperial Albano A Wikipedia entry! That's very likely and soon from you, Michael! And in answer to your
question, Colin: I learned about it vaguely at first from Vicki McCullough during one of our meetings, the Vancouver
Haiku Group. But it was Jessica Tremblay, then a new member, who explained to us what NaHaiWriMo is. I believe I
also read it on Red Dragonfly, Melissa Allen's blog…

Pris Campbell I heard about it in one of the FB groups on haiku back before the 2011 Feb challenge and was
hooked right away. I always recommend it to anyone writing haiku or interested in learning more about it.
Writing to the same prompt is fun and the links are educational.

Page 45

Jann Wirtz I gave up at Laundry.. after Jam and Kitchen the domesticity got to me!

Michele Harvey I'm not sure if I first saw NaHaiWriMo on Facebook,The Haiku Foundation News or one of the many
blogs I subscribe to, but all at once it was everywhere! I jumped in late last February, found it addicting and
decided to stay for the ride. Haiku (as many have said) is a way of life, a way of experiencing the world.
NaHaiWriMo has been like catching a bullet train instead of a donkey cart.
The interesting aspect of Kukai, is that the smaller the focus, (as if 17 syllables isn't small enough) the more
creativity is called upon.
My only quibble is that more of the larger haiku community doesn't join in. There are many admired poets I'd
love to see tackle some of these kukai. That would be quite a thrill.
Yes. I'd definitely recommend this to any haijin, beginner or otherwise. It's great to get the juices flowing and
limber up one's skills

Otsenre Ogaitnas I first heard of NaHaiWriMo last year while having lunch with some haiku poets @ Haiku Society
of America National Quarterly Meeting/Bend Haiku Weekend 3-5 June, 2011 in Bend, Oregon where I was a
haiku presenter and an invited guest by award winning Oregon poet an'ya and PeterB. And @ the meet, one
day, if I remember well I think I saw MDW wearing his signature t-shirt with a no 575 logo. But only last
month I committed myself to NaHaiWriMo for its February event to support my fellow HSA friends / haiku
writers, and of course to challenge myself if I can haiku for a whole month. Oh, do I still need to recommend
it? NaHaiWriMo is a recommendable thing, and I can recommend it anytime, but honestly I don’t have to
because haiku writers and haiku enthusiasts as well will come to...

Barb Westerman McGrory I first heard about this group when I was using a page I had under another persona (a
writer page I kept separate from my family page). I networked with a lot of other writing enthusiasts and it
was through some friends participating in NaNoWriMo (oddly enough) in 2010 that I found this page and
briefly participated last year. This year I decided to really work on the craft and now I seem to be obsessed. I
think this exercise is helping me a lot with my creative non-fiction writing, though where I used to write long,
complicated, word-happy poetry, since January I've been able to write nothing but haiku & I'm starting to
think I have a more compulsive personality than I'd already suspected. lol... I appreciate it when I get
feedback, I enjoy reading the compositions of others, and I appreciate the challenge of trying to fit the
incessant dialogue running through my head into as few words as possible.I lean toward offbeat, but I like
coming here in an attempt to broaden my scope. Thanks! :)

Susan Shand I first heard about NaHaiWriMo in a message from MDW prior to the launch. Yes I would and do
promote it to new haiku writers. It is an excellent site and a very welcoming place for people who are learning
where they can post their early haiku. It is also very interesting to see what other people do with the daily
prompts, so it is stimulating for seasoned writers too.

Kathabela Wilson I first heard about NaHaiWrimo by someone mumbling weird sounds under their breath. When I
asked them to speak up they said the same thing again whatever it was... I asked... what does this mean?
Their eyes lit up and then they explained it... alright I said so I went and looked and liked the Facebook page.
I knew MDW had started it, so I thought. Okay... it has to be good. This was about a year ago when I was
young and innocent. Then it happened. It took over my life... well for a while then I thought... no no I can't
let it happen. It's a trap, that's what it is, with magic incantations too. "Nahaiwrimo..." say it over and over
and see what happens to you. Well I dipped in over the last year and tasted it again a little thinking I was a
free person. But then it happened again... I no longer had any control. You notice they say "Nahaiwrimo"
mean National Haiku Writing Month" (I still tell people who hear ME mumble it and they look at me
sideways...!) Well the month never ends... it's an endless feast. You have to think before you recommend it...
but I do... your life will be full of poems, your head will be full of haiku night and day, you will dream of
haiku, wake up with haiku in your mind, your husband will be afraid to get out of bed because you will read
him fifteen new haiku before coffee. You will suddenly know the deep thoughts of hundreds of new friends...
and one of them may even decide to turn into a nine headed earthworm (really this happened in his haiku)
and you after thinking about that for 3 days will decide you love it) so... be careful. it's too much fun, and
how will you get anything else done??? Well the good energy and humor gives a great dynamic to your day...
and um... you may lose weight -- I haven't even made breakfast yet.

Annette Makino I learned of NaHaiWriMo via Twitter on the 4th day of last month. Starting then I posted every day
thru February and also posted my haiku, with links back to the NaHaiWriMo page, on Twitter…

Jenny Angyal I first learned about NaHaiWriMo from a post on Troutswirl, the Haiku foundation's blog. I would
recommend it to anyone interested in haiku. Writing to the prompts is very stimulating and results in haiku I
never would have written otherwise…

Page 46

Q2.
Colin Stewart Jones Does the sense of community work better than a closed forum which can sometimes
intimidate?

Hansha Teki It has quite a different dynamic, Col. Sometimes the sense of community challenges one to hone one's
skills more but just as easily the cosiness can make one lazy and settle for lukewarm poems knowing that
they will be appreciated anyway.

Violette Rose-Jones I think its much better here and we dont seem to b attracting the troll element which can b
disheartening.

James Rodriguez the way it works here is nice, everyone who participates is here to learn and share and there isn't
the, crusty few i guess, ones with their own personal agendas or axes to grind that are so common
elsewhere. mdw does a great job keeping things running smooth and providing links to help all of us grow
and expand in the craft.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade I have not been in any closed haiku forums. I like the friendliness and supportiveness of
people here, and feel the beginnings of that warm sense of community which I have experienced so abundantly in
other open haiku groups on fb and elsewhere. I think the standard here is in general quite high and that my own
haiku have improved due to my participation this year.

Jayashree Maniyil Q2: I have not been in any closed forums either. This is my first time in something of this kind
and that too on facebook. I was quiet first but soon realised that everybody here is serioius and keen to learn. Serious
meaning not that we don't have fun. We do. But all in good spirit.

Annie Juhl It was with a pounding heart I wrote my first haiku here a year ago. I was an absolute novice, (still am)
and my English was very limited. I soon found out that this community was a “safe” place. It’s friendly, including,
supportive, instructive and fun.

Susan Shand …They are different. There tends to be much less of the personality challenging stuff in NHWM which
makes it more relaxed and less confrontational than some other groups. There isn't much critique either, which makes
for a fairly non-judgemental comfort zone. Everyone needs a comfort zone :).

Mark E. Brager I think NaHaiWriMo provides a great sense of community but different from other fora which I have
experienced which are more for workshopping. I would actually appreciate more feedback on my poems on
NaiHaiWriMo.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade As a reader, I like the Like option. It saves me from having to try and find intelligent
criticisms every time, when all I might really want to say is, 'I like this one'.

NaHaiWriMo I'm hearing several people say they'd like more commentary on their haiku, such as ways to improve
it, and hopefully explanations of what makes a poem work. If anyone prefers just to click Like, that's always fine, but
something to consider is that if think through the reasons why you like a poem, and try to articulate them in a short
note, that act itself can help you improve your own haiku.

Kathy Bowman I appreciate the questions but find this one to be leading - future questions might be better phrased
more neutrally - who doesn't want community? who wouldn't prefer not being intimidated? But it could equally be
phrased - does a closed forum provide a sense of safety compared to an open one where anyone can make
intimidating comments? This doesn't mean I'm right but it seems like the questions are set up to lead the answers.
Hey, that may be what is wanted. It may partly be a function of the yes/no question format, which is certainly easier
to tabulate than a more open ended question such as - "what kind of forum builds community and safety?" Open?
Private? Closed? Other - and if so, what?

Has I beated it to death yet? Asking is always good.

Colin Stewart Jones just a simple Q from experience kathy. closed forums with lots of experienced writers can
seem intimidating and i just wondered if folks prefer the open community group to such forums.

Patsy Turner …love the anonimity and internationality of this medium...have done lots of writing with people i know
so has been great to give and receive feedback unconditionally ,,

Page 47

Angie Werren yes :) I actually left one 'closed' community because I felt the 'moderater' imposed his own viewpoint
much too much. this page is much more welcoming, to poets of all experience levels

Sheila Windsor great question: from me a resounding: YES

Sandi Pray Absolutely love the diversity and openness! Yes :))

Michele Harvey Col & Michael, ie: a closed forum VS. an open (FB) community; both offer very different benefits. I
have been on both and have been intimidated on some closed forums. But with that intimidation one is also forced to
submit to elders who have practiced the form longer and have a greater understanding. With this acquiescence, one
learns at top speed. The key to any successful forum is focus on the art (of haiku) not on the individual. I owe a great
debt to some of those that bashed me the most.
I think the choice depends on what your goal is. To learn how to write haiku, a closed forum will offer focus and
critique. A Facebook forum is a gentler entry which offers overall encouragement, but won't offer the focused
teaching a good closed forum can.
Both can create a real feeling of community.

Terri Hale French I think it depends where you are at in your "haiku voyage." I also belong to a closed forum and
we do a lot more critiquing, but we have all been published for awhile and have plenty of rejections under our belts
so I skin is pretty thick! I think NaHaiWriMo is more about sharing with just little nudges of critique. Many things I
share here I then take to my closed forum for critique, so both places serve a purpose. I liken it to exercise, here I
warm up and there I get down to muscle defining. One of the nice things about NaHaiWriMo is someone is always
here; my closed forum is much smaller and sometimes when I visit nobody is home. : )

Terri Hale French our skin I meant!

Andrew McBride I like this open community forum and have found it validating to have fellow Haikuists "Like" my
poems and make comments and suggestions. It's very supportive and enjoyable. I also belong to a closed forum with
very little participation and an in-person critiquing group with lots of participation.

Alee Imperial Albano I plunged into NaHaiWriMo last year not really knowing what to expect. I guess I was more
curious than serious. But I knew Michael from the fluke of a haiku, which won for me my one and only award in haiku
writing so far where he was a judge. I’ve read a lot about him and his essays on haiku and had met him. And I
wanted to belong to one more of his brainchild. I had also thought it would be great to tug along Melissa Allen,
Margaret Dornaus (both of whom I’ve befriended through our blogs) and Jessica Tremblay I’d later meet. And so I
approached NaHaiWriMo with the spunk of a newbie, which I think worked for me because it felt informal. Of course,
I later realized it was more than a community, in some aka group site, one to which I once belonged, where one
inertly displays one’s daily ware like say I do in my blog and hope some flies would catch a waft of my offering. It was
soon turning into a dynamic site where one’s haiku (ware) gets a current of eyes that either pass it on or assess and
even buy it, ‘like it’ to be more precise and even confirm this with a prized comment.

At first, sheepishly doing, imitating perhaps, what apparently should be done to others’ haiku, I found myself
becoming more confident with my own appraisals, even enhancing these with comments. I soon realized that when I
did this, I was really doing it to my own work. Gradually, our daily haiku started to have definite voices, personalities
even and NaHai is turning out into an actual community shaped by the varied elements of a world we constructed
daily with our posts. It isn’t at all surprising that the ‘wall’ we completed everyday is a mosaic of differing skills—of
course, this showed. But there was no stopping us because as in a community, relationships began with some even
getting firmed up, even established. Along the way too, the more skilled among us started taking the hand of those
who were limping, fragile. I was one of them; and so, some of us were turning out better ‘details’ for the wall. The
holding of hands, the fun and the sharing of cross-cultural universes, as well as the baring of one’s self with inevitable
true-to-life snatches straying into our haiku, the spontaneous caring that we expressed for someone’s pain and bliss
turned us NWHMo-ers into a real community.

In a closed forum, one of which I’ve also ‘dared’ to sign up, this spirit of being together, working on the same wall
closely with each other can’t be possible because a lapse of time often happens where response is delayed. But
dpending o the members, it can also be a caring community. Yet because the exchange isn’t daily, the energy is not
sustained. Intimidating? It could be if a participant is self conscious of the players’ degree of craft (multi-awarded,
multi-published, editor, reviewer, competition judge, etc.) versus a virtual newbie, or a learner who strayed into a
rarefied field. Critiquing can also be intimidating because serious even scholarly critiques is the ken of the really
accomplished, and learning through them can be truly helpful, though a simple, sincere and honest expression of why
a haiku works for a novice could be taken as refreshing but then, it could also be ignored. Yes, I’d prefer a community
though now that I have as choice, I’d like to stay with the closed forum as well, echoing Terri’s voice on both.

Page 48

Kathabela Wilson This community is nourishing and inspiring and we touch new hearts in approach to the heart of
haiku! I tend to prefer openness. But the quiet dynamic of concentrated dialogue in a smaller (not necessarily closed)
group can be good too. I would not choose one over the other, I would choose both. Plus add one more, personal
focused conversation and one on one collaboration with those we connect with through this open community, This
happens, expands and adds more richness and meaning to our open group!

Q3.
Colin Stewart Jones Is it possible to write authentically when writing in response to prompt?

Alison Williams Yes, just as it's possible to write inauthentically without prompts.

Freddy Ben-Arroyo The prompt is just a triger. The answer is YES! I always write authentically. And it comes to me
easy. After all, we all have some assosiations with a given word, and we have the present as well! It's simple - just
look around and VOILA!

Aubrie Cox I think, like Freddy said, the prompt is/can be a trigger. Something about it resonates within us from the
prompt (sometimes)... however, I do think it's more difficult to be auhentic if one sticks strictly to the prompt.

Judith Gorgone A prompt, is just another source of ideas. Why does it matter where the inspiration comes from?
It's what you do with it.

Bret Mars Define "authentic." If the prompt is of a nature you have no connection with, an item you are unfamiliar
with, you have to research it. Read about it, look at it, then construct a response based wholly on your new found
knowledge. You have no choice

Eric Fischman It is not possible to write inauthentically. Just because the language you use doesn't resonate with
me, doesn't mean that it didn't resonate with you. Just because my ear has been trained and boot-camped, doesn't
mean the active expression of an untrained mind is somehow false! What could be more honest, more actual, more
authentic, than being a beginner? What does the amateur have to teach the expert? It is still your mind, your mind
your mind your mind, and whatever comes out of you is true true true.

Marty Smith ...........yes,
is "authentic." in the moment or in memory...
how ever often i just make up a scene for the prompt, also i am inspired by other poets' post and i write my
response.

Hi-Young Kim Heart will strip naked. The language is a prompt to the real prompt. Not a question about
authenticity, just about being trigger-happy. Go ahead. Make My Day.

Christopher Provost Yes, but sometimes I think prompts make my writing forced. I've written some good haiku in
response to prompts, but I've also written some crap.

Edgar W. Hopper Yes, of course. For those of us urban dwellers who don't always have a nature or otherwise
natural experience that acts as a trigger the prompt can serve as a stimulus that allows for authenticity. I don't
pretend to know what is meant by authenticity in haiku, I just feel that, for me, crafting an acceptable haiku is
difficult no matter the source of inspiration.

Sheila Windsor i agree with hi-young: a prompt to the real prompt.

B Fay Wiese Something always "prompts" one's writing, whether it is a word that we go to a site to retrieve, or a
walk outside, or a rainstorm we watch, or a friend or loved one dying, or a massive disaster, or any other experience.
The quality of our thought determines the authenticity of our writing, not where the idea for the writing came from.

Cameron Mount I find a way to make the prompts dredge up an organic thought or observation. The authenticity of
the moment may be in question (as in, did I really see that sunset?) but the image itself can be authentic. As in most
poetic forms (or indeed in literature in general) fictional details do not necessarily negate authenticity, nor does being
faithful to life observation make an event ring of truth.

It is less about authentic being real and more about authentic driving a reaction in the audience.

Page 49

Angie Werren yes. I try to let the unfamiliar prompt take me to a new way of interpreting what I see/observe. if I
can't bring my own experience to it somehow, I usually skip it.

Terry O'Connor Q:
Is it possible to write authentically when writing in response to prompts?

Answer + 2 cents:

Of course, with varying degrees of success, absolutely.

In much the same way as I can feel a completely real/authentic emotion in response to an actor's portrayal of a
character or a singer's song of joy/pain etc. I don't require Adele to be dumped by her boyfriend before every
concert, nor does Disney have to really shoot Bambi's mom ;) for me to "really" feel that emotion of loss.

I think some (left-brained haiku supremacists who only watch documentaries, hate popular culture and anyone born
after the Edo period !?!) have a hard time with subjectivity, while others have a better ability, and are more willing, to
put themselves into the moment and see/believe(suspend disbelief) what(ever) they are shown, told...
A balance between the two would be ideal, but you can't, and surely shouldn't please all the people all the
time...hence sub-genres and all the wonderful diversity.

Otsenre Ogaitnas Basically, yes, it is possible to write authentically when writing in response to prompts, because
they (the prompts) would, to my understanding, represent authentic writing only when you yourself as a writer would
like to see your masterpiece written or done, and in it there’s an authentic feeling, felt by the reader, whether it is
with reference to a personal life experience or not. Sometimes for me the only way to get my aging brain to work
productively is through the given prompts, just like here @ NaHaiWriMo, but of course I never forced myself, nor let
my fingers bleed writing to prompts, because I already know the outcome- poor quality and often formulaic.
Prompted or non-prompted, I think, to get a quality result depends on ones' writing approach. Well, hope you enjoy
my haiku below, wink!

my haiku
not spectacular —
just this red sunset

Pat Geyer yup...the same way you respond to the prompts life scripts for you each day...ya do what ya gotta' do...

Terri Hale French Sure, one can be authentic or inauthentic with or without a prompt.

Alessandra Gallo 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

NaHaiWriMo Something I'll say about "authenticity" is that it's a matter of process and product. Good process can
help make good product, so writing out of genuine personal experience rather than pure imagination is often reliable,
although that doesn't mean that imagination can't also come across to the reader authentically. As novelists will tell
you, fiction is often truer than fact. Also, the point that something "really happened" does not mean the poem is
authentic -- one can still write inauthetically about authentic experience. What really matters, ultimately, is the
product -- does the *poem* itself come across to the reader as being believable, regardless of how it came to be
inspired? If you write about a new moon rising in the sky, that's simply not possible, so such a poem would be
inauthentic (in this case, factually false). But if you've never seen or experienced the rock formation known as talus
(one of our prompts last month), it is entirely possible to research and project yourself empathetically into such an
experience and write a poem that could indeed come across as authentic to readers. Remember that Buson's wife
was *alive* when he wrote about stepping on his dead wife's comb.

Tawnya Smith There are many yet connected ideas of authentic arising here. There is authentic viewed from the
point of inspiration, from the process of creation, from the judgement of quality, and from approval by a reader. I
don't see them as the same, but I do see them as connected. Rather like the poem itself is parts gathered and woven
into a whole. I suppose each of these could be measured for authenticity. There is also a factor of time. Given some
amount of time, there will be a reader, experienced or not, who will appreciate a piece of writing, authentic or not.
Quite the hornet's nest, this question. ;)

Rosemary Nissen-Wade Yes. The subconscious is infinitely obliging, and throws up just the right memories, or
directs the consciousness to the perfect item in the present environment

Page 50

Violette Rose-Jones Yes. Good haiku are not always about having a haiku moment but are always about nailing a
truth or a true moment. Our memory contains a wealth of such moments, we just have to make connections.

Paul David Mena The best haiku are authentic responses to external stimuli. That the prompts are not of the poet's
choosing is - in my opinion, anyway - irrelevant.

Q4.
Colin Stewart Jones How do you feel that by participating in NaHaiWriMo your writing skills have improved?

Mark E. Brager oh yes...the daily practice plus the exposure to such a group of talented haiku writers has sharpened
my meager skills immeasurably. Seeing how others interpret a prompt and react to others' poems is a rich source of
feedback...

Susan Murata I KNOW I would not write without the prompts, one. Two, you MUST write in order for there to be an
interaction with community members re: (your own) haiku content. Three, the interaction with other haijin on this fb
site sooooooo encourages your very best output. You quickly see whose haiku hit the mark - whose haiku reverberate
- and the impetus is there to try harder. It works!!

Cara Holman Participating in NaHaiWriMo has really made a difference in my comfort level with writing and sharing
haiku. It made it okay to just write, without worrying about what an editor would think. And the almost instantaneous
feedback, in the form of comments or "Likes", helps me refine my haiku. Not to mention the benefits of reading
others' takes on the same prompts.

Terri Hale French you can't improve if you are not writing, so the discipline of writing every day has helped my
writing. Plus reading other people's work always greases my wheels!

Susan Shand I enjoy the challenge of writing every day, even days when I'm busy, or not in the mood for writing. It
is good practice. Because it is a non-judgmental space to post, I have felt able to experiment with my haiku. I have
used different forms, or pushed at the edges of 'haikuness'. I have sometimes been surprised when people have
'liked' a haiku that I didn't think was very good. So it has broadened my writing and given me confidence to show
work which otherwise I might not have done.

Raul Sanchez May 1st will one year since I joined the page and have learned a lot from everyone else on the page.
What I like is the early morning challenge of the prompt. Sometimes it hits me right away, other times not. But letting
the prompt "incubate" in my head, the haiku or senryu comes out like a spring chicken making a lot of noise. I also
enjoy all the cyberfriends out there. Good work y'all!

Lorin Krogh I stay much more in my present moment and I'm more aware of surroundings... besides being a better
and more joyful writer/ observer

Bret Mars The random freshness of unexpected subjects moved me beyond my typical bag of tricks. Seeing how
others approached a subject was instructive too.

Hannah Gosselin I feel that my haiku writing skill has improved in that I've taken time to read the links provided
specifically on how to write haiku and that by reading the offerings here I've learned what works and doesn't
work for people and for myself also. :)

Cameron Mount I think the participation has increased my ability, as noted by others, because it forces "butt-in-
chair" kind of devotion. I don't know why I respond better to deadlines than internal motivation. I suspect I'm
not alone in that. But I do know that I do respond better to external stimuli, so just having a dedicated goal
that isn't self-determined makes it more likely that I will put my butt in the chair and start working on my
poetry.

Jayashree Maniyil The more I write, the better it gets.....this is exactly what I am holding on to dearly and trying to
build slowly. I think my haiku has changed from the time I began even in a short duration. Has it improved? I
certainly hope so. At the moment all that I am doing is responding to a prompt as best as I can. It is good to
have something to work towards. And this daily practise sessions helps in building a routine - dedicating some
time just to do one thing. I love going through the variety of interpretations from everybody. The constant
encouragement from everyone only pushes me to strive a bit more harder the next time.

Page 51

Lisa Hills I think it probably does. But it depends on many elements. If my brain is thinking of poignant words and
thoughts. or is still half asleep.

Belinda Broughton daily writing always helps me. it has improved my haiga especially and increased output. my
reading has improved too!

Kat Creighton As others have stated the daily prompts, the likes or lack of likes and comments on my haiku have all
helped me to write better. On many occasion those with much more experience than I have given me in-
depth critiques that have helped me dig a little deeper. On the NaHaiWriMo page I read haiku that I love and
some that I don't love so much...reading may be the best teacher.

Hansha Teki NaHaiWriMo has been a great motivator in writing haiku as a matter of discipline. Every new haiku is a
new beginning; whether that necessarily indicates an improvement in haiku writing skills is not something
that I am objectively able to judge in regard to my own pieces. The warm and supportive atmosphere of
NaHaiWriMo is clearly a great encouragement to each of us to write haiku but more than this is necessary if
we wish to write poems that may be remembered weeks, months, years, decades or even centuries from
now.

Johnny Baranski To me it's simply a matter of practice makes perfect.

Ida Freilinger Writing under pressure was good for me. Reading haiku I liked was also fun. I think I understand
haiku better. By gauging likes I found ways to write haiku others liked better. When I heard the word Kukai, I
groaned inwardly and tried to escape. It took too long to write one or two. Now, I think I'll enjoy Kukai more
and have better results.

Alee Imperial Albano Definitely improved as has been noted by friends who I consider masters of the genre. My
other gauge would be increased acceptance in my submissions. I find it easier to 'nail' a haiku for here since,
as well. I've mentioned what in NaHaiWriMo has helped in my long response to Q1 like the discipline of
writing daily, the interaction with other members, the likes and no likes, comments that uplift or suggest, but
especially reading what Daphne says 'tons and tons' of haiku and also Michael's random reference notes,
definitely pulled me up. Still, there's still so much to learn.

Annie Juhl Being a part of nahaiwrimo, has improved my haiku skils in so many ways. I would probably not have
experimented with one line haiku, haiga, haiku primer, and all the other challenges we were given here, on
my own. Wading out on deep water with very skilled people by my side, is a very good way for me to learn.
And first of all, I feel free here, to experiment, play, be vulnerable, have fun, ask questions and learn. I’m
only at the very beginning of my haiku path, and I’m very grateful for all the encouragement and help I was
given here, both on haiku and language.

Paul David Mena Daily prompts fight complacency by providing a gentle nudge to write - with or without the poet's
perception of "inspiration."

Anna Yin Not sure. I hope to have more serious discussion with experienced haijin. Most of my haiku I save
somewhere and I plan to come back to revise. Meantime, I read some discussions here and some good
essays as well which help me understand better. So in this sense, I'd like to say I have improved.

Kathabela Wilson Absolutely. NaHaiWriMo has given me a deeper appreciation, and a deeper penetration into the
possibilities of haiku. In asking myself for this continuous flow of concentrated expression it has caused me to
examine the elements and powers of the form and thus... improved my writing, I am sure of it.

Michele Harvey NaHaWriMo has forced me to give a keener look at subjects that may otherwise go unexplored.
Nachos for instance...who would consciously set about writing a haiku about nachos? LOL

Elissa Malcohn Writing a daily haiku has given me a deeper experience of the form, both through practice and
through reading other posts. It's not unusual for me to think I have something ready to post and then
discover ways to improve on it.

Sanjuktaa Asopa Oh yes,the exposure is more, the output is more,without the prompts i'd not have been writing at
all; improved? i thought so, till 10 mnts ago when i was informed that i've been rejected by Acorn :=( That
broke my heart, really it did!

Page 52

Q5.
Colin Stewart Jones Is there anything else that you wish to say about NaHaiWriMo?

Lorin Krogh I appreciate the daily prompts as they have shown me the joy of discipline

Annie Juhl I think I’ve said it all. But I can add, that I really enjoy the "rule" of one post per day.

Freddy Ben-Arroyo You must be doing something right! Keep going! Thank you so much!

Sheila Windsor thank you

Sanjuktaa Asopa Everything is perfect; great site to be in and thanks much for everything. But since i am among
friends here, i wish if my poem is rubbish, somebody would tell me so frankly. i promise i'd try to take it in my
stride :-)

Daphne Purpus May it continue forever! It is wonderful!

Alee Imperial Albano
I wonder if Michael expected what NaHaiWriMo has turned into. Perhaps like its precursor, NaNoWriMo, he thought it
would end in a month or be a one-month event only, as its name says so. I think it's a 'stroke of genius' to use the
tools of a networking site and make them work to create a learning laboratory. Not sure if I'm using the right terms
here but I hope I'm giving a sense of what I mean more or less. The synergy among the participants that followed
after February 2011 has been amazing--it held us up. That most seem to have been committed to keep on adds to
the wonder because it's so free in every sense; in regular workshops one stays because of a fee and in some, a
certificate awaits in the end. (Well, there never was a promise of the book!) I stayed because I felt I was gaining
much more than I was putting in. But beyond my personal gains, I think a better understanding of haiku as well as a
debunking of a lot misconceptions about it has been achieved in a way by NaHaiWriMo. It should continue to convert
a lot more because for me, haiku is such a sublime art.

Cara Holman What I like best about NaHaiWriMo is that it is inclusive-- anyone is welcome to write and post,
regardless of their experience level. As such, it is a great way to dip one's toes into the practice of writing
haiku. I feel like I've written a "good" haiku, when it becomes the catalyst for an lively discussion.

Kathabela Wilson
I just realized there IS one more thing I have not said about NaHaiWriMo! Every day I learn more about things I
might not know or think about! Even when a prompt is something familiar, I look carefully at what allusions,
references, unexpected meanings a word or idea has. Online dictionaries and googling make this easy. I realize
multiple meanings, add layers to my understanding about things, including words, origins, phrases, history,
mythology, astronomy... no end to this! I like the unexpected provocation to experience and learn and apply. Even
when writing about a very familiar event, word, natural object, I am amazed at the richness and beauty of language
and associations. I love that I have learned so much as a result of NaHaiWriMo, and not just about haiku!

Alee Imperial Albano
I'd like to add to Kathabela's thoughts on how much learning seemed to happen everyday from the prompts. For me,
more than what google had to say, it's the personal notes some of us wrote which added deeper layers to book
knowledge. This filter of memory or more precisely, of the heart has given some haiku a kind of diamond facet hard
to find anywhere. I feel so privileged 'traveling' to places without a ticket, having a glimpse of wondrous places I may
never get to. Or reading a historical angle that google may never wind of. It's been awesome. Thanks to you all!

Colin Stewart Jones hi guys thanks for all of your input
I am busy putting the feature together
It'll take a couple of days but will be worth it
thanks again
col

My thanks to Michael Dylan Welch and all of the NaWriHaiMo group who gave generously of their time to
answer my questions. The group is an excellent place to learn and develop as a haiku poet. If you are on
Facebook and want to learn more about haiku I’d thoroughly recommend joining NaWriHaiMo.

Page 53

Gean Journal Highlights Haiku Literary Genres

Gean Journal Highlights Haiku Literary Genres

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