1. Relational Aggression David Krasky, Psy.S. School Psychologist University School Fall, 2008

2. Goals To define and give examples of relational aggression and how it relates to the Lower School To provide educators with specific skills to prevent and cope with relational aggression To create specific interventions applicable to University School with regards to relational aggression

3. What is Relational Aggression? A type of aggression which the behavior is intended to harm or disturb relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship or group inclusion. The behaviors occur repeatedly over time. An imbalance of psychological power is created. (Nansel, T.R. et al., 2001)

4. What is Relational Aggression? Relational aggression involves interpersonal manipulative behaviors as in: Directly controlling Social alienation Rejection Social exclusion (Yoon, J., Barton, E., & Taiariol, J., 2004) The most common forms are name-calling, teasing, rumors, rejection, and taking of personal belongings as well as the silent treatment, glares and eye-rolling. (Nansel et al. 2001)

6. Lunch

7. Aftercare

8. Transitions

9. Bathroom

10. Early-care

12. History 1995 – Relational Aggression was introduced by Crick and Grotpeter. They defined relational aggression as “harming others through purposeful manipulation and damage of their peer relationships.” A peer nomination measure was developed for children in third to sixth grade. Research also reported that girls are just as aggressive as boys, although different behaviors were used to express their hostility. (Underwood, M.K., 2004)

13. Gender Originally, early studies focused more on the overt aggressive behaviors of boys. Scholars began recognizing that girls may express their anger differently. It was believed that females were more likely to engage in relational aggression than males. (Crick, N.R. & Gropeter, J.K. 1995) Recent studies by Crick and colleagues have reported that relational aggression is the same among girls than boys. (Yoon et. al, 2004) However, the same study found that females perceived it more hurtful and were greater affected socially and emotionally.

14. What Can We Do? Teachers can create a classroom culture by: Understanding the range of girls aggression. Refusing to tolerate. Inviting girls’ private and public discussion and seeking the reasons and solutions of aggression as a team. Expand the definition of aggression. Openly discussing its open forms by examples, stories or various media. Keep open communication with parents. Post “Anti-Bullying Classroom Rules”

15. What Can We Do? Observe children in the classroom, at lunch, in the hall, and before and after school, noting students' nonverbal reactions to peers. Ask yourself: Who is alone? Is there a group leader? How do her followers act toward others? Discuss relational aggression with your students to make sure they know that starting rumors, ridiculing others, and other forms of covert aggression are not acceptable.

16. What Can We Do? Reinforce student social interaction skills through the use of role-playing exercises, literature, writing assignments, and other means. Emphasize considering the feelings of others, developing listening skills, and exhibiting other character traits that are critical to forming lasting friendships. Intervene immediately. Encourage bystanders to stand up to bullying.

17. What Can We Do? Help girls understand that conflicts are a natural occurrence in friendships and provide them with an opportunity to practice being supportive of one another. Encourage students to honestly resolve problems through open discussion and compromise. Use descriptive specific praise when the bully breaks their pattern and acts responsibly and kindly.

18. What Can We Do? Believe the victim. Relational aggressive girls are skillful at concealing their bullying. Hence, many educators are blinded by the appearance of a model student who they feel would never engage in covert aggression. Understand that having at least one friend buffers a child from relationship aggression, so facilitating friendships between girls will help them cope with a relational aggressive child. Encourage girls to choose friends who are considerate and trustworthy, not exclusive or mean.

19. Asking Open Ended Questions What did you do? What was wrong with that? What goal were you trying to reach? Next time you have that goal, how will you reach it without hurting anyone?

20. What We Shouldn’t Do! Do Not tell the victim to ignore the relational aggressive act. Do Not ask the victim to solve the problem. Do Not minimize the situation. Do Not use peer mediation. Do Not ask the bully questions like, “Why did you do that? or “How would you feel if someone did that to you?”

21. Anti-Bullying Committee We plan on starting an anti-bullying committee with several members who will be the “think tank” with regards to bullying procedures and policies. This committee will be the experts when it comes to supporting students, faculty and parents. They will also develop a specific protocol on how teachers will report and communicate bullying behaviors to parents. The committee will also serve as a resource for any questions with regards to bullying.

22. References Crick, N.R., Grotpeter, J.K., (1995). Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social-Psychological Adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722. Gooch, L. (2005). Girls bully for power and loyalty. The Age, 10, (30), 113-120. Nansel, T.R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R., Ruan, W.J., Scheidt, P., (2001). Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth: Prevalence and Association with Psychosocial Adjustment. The Journal of the American Medical Association. 285, 2094-2100.

23. References Underwood, M., (2003). Social Aggression Among Girls. New York: Guilford. Yoon, J., Barton, E., & Taiariol, J., (2004). Relational Aggression in Middle School: Educational Implications of Developmental Research. Journal of Early Adolescence, 24, 303-318

24. Helpful Websites The Ophelia Project – www.opheliaproject.org International Bullying Prevention Association – www.stopbullyingworld.org Bullying.org – www.bullying.org Stop Bullying Now – www.stopbullyingnow.com National Association of School Psychologists – www.nasponline.org

25. Helpful Books for Kids “My Secret Bully” by Trudy Ludwig “The Hundred Dresses” by Eleanor Estes “Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity and Putdowns” by Sandra McLeod Humphrey “Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain” by Trevor Romain “How to Make, Keep, and Grow Your Friendships” by New Moon Books Girls Editorial Board “The Meanest Thing to Say” by Bill Cosby “Stop Picking on Me: A First Look at Bullying” by Pat Thomas

26. Helpful Books for Teachers “Queen Bees and Wannabees” by Rosalind Wiseman “Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child’s Life” by Rosalind Wiseman “The Bully, the Bullies, and the Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso “Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do” by Dan Olweus “Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying” by Stan Davis