I didn't want to
depart my home town,
which I've been settling
ever since the day I was
born. Neither do I want
to leave my school,
relatives, and most
importantly my best
Sam and I had been best
school. I still recall the day
when we first met; it was the
first day of grade 1 and we
were in the same class.
Unintentionally I collided with
his head trying to reach for my
pencil that had been knocked
out on the floor.
Fortunately I didn’t
know that he was trying to
reach for it too. From that
time on we got close, share
lunch, talk and became best
friends. We’d hang around
together as often as I’d
hang around with my
He’s like my brother;
a brother who I could
lean to when I have
problems, a brother
who’s always there for
me when I’m in trouble, a
brother who loved me for
me… at least as a sister.
What he didn’t
know is that I am
deeply in love with
him ever since the
day we first met;
which saddens me
the most, assuming
that he only thinks
of me as his sister.
In sixth grade, in
spite of this, things
changed. We had been
implausible years, but
this year is diverse. I was
moving. Moving far away
from him, it’s like a new
world I’m getting myself
My deep profoundness love for
him is still there and I don’t want to
leave him. We agreed to call each other
at least twice a week, send letters and
emails if we have time, and stay in
touch with each other. Except that, it
wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t be
like old times, we wouldn’t see each
other except in pictures, we couldn’t
do anything together now.
We couldn’t be
there for each other,
all the time anymore.
Furthermore we are
two continents away
from each other. And I
wanted to confess.
Tomorrow, I decided.
departure came but he was
nowhere in sight. I tried
calling his cell but no one
was answering it. I was so
worried and sad that he
forgot about my departure. I
left the country heartbroken
and thinking that maybe he
had a good excuse why he
One year had passed
and still no sign of him. I tried
calling his home every once in
a while but his mother would
always say, “Oh he’s not here,
but I’ll tell him you called!”
and I would be so depressed.
Sometimes I just think that
he’s been avoiding my calls.
But why I wondered?
I was going off to grade 9. I
hadn’t been getting any emails or
letters from him; or hadn’t been
getting any at all. I tried to tell
myself that, “Its okay Katherine,
he’s just busy that’s all.” However I
had my doubts. What if he’s not
busy at all?
What if he forgot about me?
What if he got a girlfriend and been
too busy to talk or even stay in touch
with me? A lot of what ifs’ are on my
head. I tried emailing him and writing
letters but there was no reply. What if
all my what ifs’ came true? Then
maybe I should be pleased, pleased
for the reason that he’s happy. On the
contrary why didn’t he tell me?
Two years had passed
and still no sign of his letters
or emails or phone calls. I
tried to get over him. I really
tried but I can’t. I just
couldn’t forget the fact that
I love him.
One week later, I
received a letter from his
home address, accusing it
was him I ripped it open. I
was so anxious to read his
letter that I skipped a
couple of parts, that I
it is important. It says that
he’s sick and is in a coma.
I preceded to the hospital his in. I
was so worried to see him, concerned
that he’s undergoing from a poor
health. When I got in his room my
heart raised and kept thumping on my
chest. I noticed him lying there with
bandages all over his body. I felt sorry
All this time I was blaming
him of overlooking me while his
being diagnosed. I had a talk with
his mom and she told me what
had happened to him. She
assumed that he was crossing the
street while he was writing in a
book and a truck had hit him.
addressed to me, it has no title its
cover is blank. I opened it and
started reading the first page.
September 17, 200*
“This is the day I left.” I thought.
Katherine left today. I’m so upset
to see her leave. That’s why I didn’t
go to the airport at all. But I tried to
go realizing that I had to confess my
love for her before she leaves but I
was too late. I’m going to miss her so
bad. All the good times we had will
never be forgotten. I wish I could
come with her. I love her so very
My tears started
falling. I admired him. I
was in awe. He made a
diary for me starting with
the day I left. And what
mostly saddened me is
the fact that he loved me
too. I scanned through
pages and read the last
page he had written on.
I can’t wait for Kath to see what I
had done for her. I hope she’ll like it. I
just miss her so bad. I wish she was
here right now in my arms holding
me tight and wishing she wouldn’t be
away anymo ---
And it was cut right there. I
couldn’t imagine the scene how it
happened. I saw a glimpse of him
again and a tear fell on my cheeks. I
hold his hand so tight. That time I had
wished that I hadn’t left and be with
him throughout this tough time. There
was this throb in my chest. I scanned
again and all the other pages are
blank. A letter dropped when I was
about to close it.
If you are done reading my diary I
want you to fill out the other half of this
book. I miss you so bad, Kath. I’m sorry if
I keep missing your calls I was just too
busy with work. Yeah, Kath I’m working
now so I could surprise you and go there
and maybe finish my school there. I can’t
wait to see you soon.
I’m also sorry that it took me two years
to get this to you its just that I didn’t
know your address there and I had to
look for your relatives to tell me your
address, and about the email thing I
tried to email you back but our computer
is really messed up; I ought to get the fix
sometime so I could email you. I’m really
sorry if you thought that I don’t care
about you, I do. I really do.
I love you since the first day we met it’s
just that I was too scared to confess
because it might ruin our friendship and
that I think that you only think of me as
a brother. I love you Kath, I love you with
all my heart and I’m sacrificing
everything just to be with you.
By the time I was done reading
his letter. I heard a beep it was
coming from him. I was stunned. I
dropped the book and ran towards
him and started calling the nurse.
“Stay with me please, stay
with me… don’t leave me please. I
can’t let you leave me. Please. I.
Love. You.” I cried as the tears fell. I
was shaking. I didn’t want him to
die. I didn’t want him to leave me. I
want him to be here by my side
comforting me, and telling me that
it was all a joke.
But it’s not a joke. It’s reality.
He’s dead and here I am living my
life through pages in the diary. I
filled the rest of the book. I even
started a new book since it couldn’t
hold all my memories and thoughts
of him. And I will always remember
him. How he had been a good
How he helped me through
bad times. How he loved me so
much that I didn’t want to let go.
I will not forget him. He had
been the best inspiration of my
life. He is the best of friend
anyone could ever
have. I will not
forget him. I love
“C’mon Kath, were going to be
late for school!” Mark shouted
through our front door. Mark had
been my friend since the day I first
came to his school. He had been a
good friend, almost as good as Sam.
He kind of reminds me of Sam.
Sometimes when I'm with
Mark, I kind of think that Sam sent
him to guide me and to be with me
just like he did for me when he was
alive. “Coming!” I shouted back.
This is a fresh new start and a
beginning of an ideal friendship. Or
so I thought.
Thank you for listening!
Ms. Divine Heidi G. Cabiguin