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The Fry and the Cranberry

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A holiday food fable, which might be about the election.

Published in: News & Politics

The Fry and the Cranberry

  1. The Fry and the Cranberry A holiday food fable by Dan Roam danroam.com @dan_roam
  2. The other day, after an incredible Thanksgiving meal, a couple of us were playing with the leftovers on our plates, and we got talking about recent events. This is the story that emerged…
  3. Once upon a time, there were fries and there were cranberries.
  4. Being more urbane and educated, the fries usually forgot all about their berry cousins. Please, call us “Frites.”
  5. Meanwhile, the cranberries were sick and tired of always being bossed around by the uppity fries. Assholes. Rednecks…
  6. One day, it was time to pick a leader. The choice was between the ketchup and the aioli.
  7. The color of the ketchup appealed to the cranberries. He looks just like us!
  8. Normally, there might have been a natural affinity between the fries and the ketchup, too. ? What do you think?
  9. But most fries found the ketchup very crude and the aioli pretty amazing.
  10. On election day, way more cranberries arrived than anyone expected. !?!? !? !!!!!!!!!!
  11. The aioli lost – and had to leave the table. Noooooooo!!!!
  12. The fries freaked out.
  13. And the cranberries jumped for joy.
  14. After a little while, it all settled down and everyone lived happily ever after.
  15. Actually, no. ??
  16. This is not the end of our story. Where is the ketchup going? Ketchup is the devil!
  17. Because ketchup isn’t made from cranberries. But you’re red, just like us!Uh oh. Suckers.
  18. And the real question is who is going to get splattered first?
  19. Happy Holidays.
  20. Please note: No fries or cranberries were harmed in the creation of this fable. The red wine was seriously damaged, however. dan@danroam.com @dan_roam

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