DM Masterclass  Creating persuasive messages andwriting great copy for direct marketing            Damian O’Broin         ...
More      www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob    damian@askd...
What was......The last movie you saw...The last novel you read
Once upon a tim!...
00 targ et met.€250,0      crease  on 200910% in      (so far...)
Propositions
A journey back in time to the centre of the brain....
“Researchers have demonstrated that [we] make decisions in an     emotional manner and then justify them rationally”      ...
Rational      on al m otiE              Switch - Chip & Dan Heath              The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
!"#$%&()*#+ ,(-.%/*//(0/"1%.2                                                                                             ...
Old Brain   New BrainEmotional   RationalAutomatic   ReflectiveElephant      Rider
The Six ‘Old Brain’ Stimuli      1. Self-Centred      6. Emotions2. Contrast                    5. Visual Stimuli   3. Tan...
Contrast              Implied   Beginning & End                                         Visual StimuliSelf-Centred        ...
Diagnose the                 Differentiate your          Demonstrate the       PAIN                        CLAIM          ...
Deliver to theOLD BRAIN                      Create                    STICKY                   MESSAGES
S impleU nexpectedC oncreteC redibleE motionalS tories              heathbrothers.com
Simple
J FKFB INAT OUP SNA SAI RSJFK FBI NATO UPS NASA IRS
Simple
Unexpected
Concrete“Twelve pennies will give a poor child a day’s treat.” Irish Independent, May 1905
Concrete  1450 LODESTAR ROAD, UNIT 18     TORONTO, ON M3J 3C1                                   1010943         YOUR 1 DOL...
Credible
Emotional
“P.S. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will add your name to  our supporter dedicationwall which will be f...
The Mother Teresa PrincipleIf I look at the mass, I will never act.       If I look at the one, I will.
Every year, 15million children die of hunger
Stories              Rebirth              Tragedy              Comedy          Voyage and Return             The Quest    ...
Overcoming the Monster
Renvoisé & Morin   Heath Bros.     Cialdini  Self-centred       Simple      Reciprocation    Contrast       Unexpected    ...
Propositions
Writing direct response copy
‣ Never use a metaphor, simile or other                      figure of speech which you are used to                      se...
What makes a good story?
r g etBe at ta   by  33%
DEMENTIA                             NURSE                             APPEALThis Spring, let’s notforget the 72,500 peopl...
What’s missing?
“With over 72,500 people in Scotlandneeding the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse, and that figureexpected to d...
Four t       imes  mone       as mu         y rais    ch                ed
Copywriting Case Study
Helpline Number          1800 341 900      Clear, tangible, early ask             in standfirst         Content warning   ...
“you” / “your”mentioned a further 8     times here  Need emphasised  Deadline to build     urgencySpecific ask linked to  ...
Emotion (Anger)    3rd Ask
Benefit / SolutionPersonal and emotional   Benefit / Solution
ThanksSpecific examples ofwhat your gift will do    4th Ask    5th Ask
Data capture at top   Helpline Number    1800 341 900Prominent reference to€250 tax efficient giving         levelRepeat o...
The Results…New donors recruited:       196   (30% ahead of target)                                  (36% more than 2009)A...
Up 84%      on-yearyear-
General        Monthly Gifts   Top Donors20092010                 General Cash +28%                 Monthly Gifts +88%    ...
Not just tangible - restricted                  Increased focus on top donor segments     Core service - familiar,     und...
“You” or “Your” is repeated    14 times on Page 1 (and donor’s name appears four times)        Visual stimulus    Articula...
Donor focused solution     Clear target
What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Long copy almost always beats short copy ‣ Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ but mostly ...
What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Make it sounds like someone is taking ‣ Appeal on the basis of benefits, ...
What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ You can drive up response by using...  - urgency  - deadlines  - targets
What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Tell stories ‣ Use emotion ‣ Make it personal ‣ PS: Always include a PS ...
Make it easy to read‣ Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif  typeface‣ Indent paragraphs and vary their length‣ Br...
Make it easy to respond‣ Be clear what you’re looking for‣ Large donation forms and plenty of room  to write‣ Make forms e...
Copy Exercise1. Headline/Standfirst / Johnson Box2. First page3. PS4. Call to action on response device
Thank You      www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob    damian...
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
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IoF Scotland DM Masterclass

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Slides from DM Masterclass, Edinburgh, June 2011. Developing propositions and writing great copy

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IoF Scotland DM Masterclass

  1. 1. DM Masterclass Creating persuasive messages andwriting great copy for direct marketing Damian O’Broin Ask Direct
  2. 2. More www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob damian@askdirect.ie
  3. 3. What was......The last movie you saw...The last novel you read
  4. 4. Once upon a tim!...
  5. 5. 00 targ et met.€250,0 crease on 200910% in (so far...)
  6. 6. Propositions
  7. 7. A journey back in time to the centre of the brain....
  8. 8. “Researchers have demonstrated that [we] make decisions in an emotional manner and then justify them rationally” – Renvoisé & Morin, Neuromarketing The most effective messages appeal here
  9. 9. Rational on al m otiE Switch - Chip & Dan Heath The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
  10. 10. !"#$%&()*#+ ,(-.%/*//(0/"1%.2 “When people ask me what difference 345 6&."7&."(,588 5;<=,<>=55 a donation can make, I reply that 4/&*([*2()*#+G donations to Starship transform lives. D%/(@/#@E/(&27(C/(+%&.(F"99/*/?/(&(F#&."#(?&(C&7/G(H(*/@EI(.%&.(F#&."#2(.#(!.&*2%"@(.*&29#*C(E"J/2K(L&*/.2( %&J/(.#EF(C/(+".%(./&*2("(.%/"*(/I/2(+%&.(".(C/&2(.#(7#+(.%/"*(?%"EF("2(*/?/"J"1(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?&*/(&.(!.&*2%"@K( Parents have told me with tears in -F($/%"F(/J/*I(#/(#9(.%/2/(?%"EF*/(.%/*/(&*/(?#C@&22"#&./(@/#@E/(E"7/(I#B(F/F"?&./F(.#(%/E@"1K(M%&7(I#BK their eyes what it means to know their N#B*(F#&."#(+"EE(%/E@(!.&*2%"@(2B@@#*.(?%"EF*/(&F(.%/"*(9&C"E"/2(&.(.%/"*(C#C/.(#9(1*/&./2.(//FK((H.("2(&.(.%/2/( C#C/.2G(+%/(&(?%"EFO2(E"9/(?&(%&1("(.%/($&E&?/G(.%&.(I#B*(F#&."#($/?#C/2(.*BEI(.*&29#*C&."#&EK( child is receiving the best possible care H(%&J/(2//(%#+(&(2/*"#B2EI("EE(?%"EF(?&(9&?/("?*/F"$E/(2".B&."#2(+".%(&(C&.B*".I(+/EE($/I#F(.%/"*(I/&*2K(M%/2/( at Starship. ?%"EF*/(?&(/P%"$".(&("2@"*&."#&E(&$"E".I(.#(?&**I(#(+".%(&(2C"E/(&F(&(&C&Q"1EI(@#2"."J/(RE"J/(E"9/O(&..".BF/K( )B.(&(@#2"."J/(&..".BF/(&E#/("2O.(/#B1%(.#(1/.(.%*#B1%(&(E"9/(.%*/&./"1(C/F"?&E(?%&EE/1/(S(I#B*(F#&."#(C/&2(A/+( T/&E&F(?%"EF*/(%&J/(&(+#*EF(?E&22(9&?"E".I(.#(1"J/(.%/C(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(%#@/(9#*(&(9BEE(&F(%&@@I(E"9/K(M%"2("2(.%/(7"F( #9(?&*/(H($/E"/J/(/J/*I(?%"EF(F/2/*J/2K And behind every one of these N#B(?&(7//@(B@(.#(F&./(+".%(2#C/(#9(.%/(2B??/22(2.#*"/2(I#B*(1"9.(%&2(C&F/(@#22"$E/($I(J"2"."1( +++K2.&*2%"@K#*1KQ<9#BF&."#G(#*("9(I#B(%&J/(&I(UB/2."#2G(@E/&2/(?&EE(#(=V(,=8(WVX8K children there are compassionate M%&7(I#B(&1&"(9#*(1"J"1(JBE/*&$E/(I#B1(?%"EF*/(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?%&?/(&.(E"9/K people like you dedicated to helping. )/2.(+"2%/2G Your donation will help Starship )*&F(YE&*7 support children and their families at their moment of greatest need. It is at Y%"/9(ZP/?B."J/ these moments, when a child’s life can hang in the balance, that your3/?/"@.(ABC$/*: !()$() %&()*&+,-.-*/-0+1*)2+)2(34+5,&67 !"#$%&()*#+ donation becomes truly4#&."#(#9: !"#$## ,(-.%/*//(0/"1%.2 345 transformational.”4&./: !"#$%#&$!! 6&."7&."(,588
  11. 11. Old Brain New BrainEmotional RationalAutomatic ReflectiveElephant Rider
  12. 12. The Six ‘Old Brain’ Stimuli 1. Self-Centred 6. Emotions2. Contrast 5. Visual Stimuli 3. Tangible Input 4. Beginning & End
  13. 13. Contrast Implied Beginning & End Visual StimuliSelf-Centred Tangible Emotions
  14. 14. Diagnose the Differentiate your Demonstrate the PAIN CLAIM GAIN What is the need? Why is your organisation How are you going toWhy is this a problem for your best placed to make things better? supporter? address the need? And why does this matter to your supporter? Deliver to the OLD BRAIN
  15. 15. Deliver to theOLD BRAIN Create STICKY MESSAGES
  16. 16. S impleU nexpectedC oncreteC redibleE motionalS tories heathbrothers.com
  17. 17. Simple
  18. 18. J FKFB INAT OUP SNA SAI RSJFK FBI NATO UPS NASA IRS
  19. 19. Simple
  20. 20. Unexpected
  21. 21. Concrete“Twelve pennies will give a poor child a day’s treat.” Irish Independent, May 1905
  22. 22. Concrete 1450 LODESTAR ROAD, UNIT 18 TORONTO, ON M3J 3C1 1010943 YOUR 1 DOLLAR = 2 MEALS
  23. 23. Credible
  24. 24. Emotional
  25. 25. “P.S. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will add your name to our supporter dedicationwall which will be featured on the real Rainbow Warrior. Your name will stand alongside othersfrom around the world who are prepared to contribute to a greener world.”
  26. 26. The Mother Teresa PrincipleIf I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.
  27. 27. Every year, 15million children die of hunger
  28. 28. Stories Rebirth Tragedy Comedy Voyage and Return The Quest Rags to Riches
  29. 29. Overcoming the Monster
  30. 30. Renvoisé & Morin Heath Bros. Cialdini Self-centred Simple Reciprocation Contrast Unexpected Consistency Tangible Input Concrete Social ProofBeginning & End Credible Liking Visual Stimuli Emotional Authority Emotions Stories Scarcity
  31. 31. Propositions
  32. 32. Writing direct response copy
  33. 33. ‣ Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. ‣ Never use a long word when a short one will do. ‣ If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.Geroge Orwell ‣ Never use the passive where you can use the active. Politics and theEnglish Language ‣ Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific (1946) word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. ‣ Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
  34. 34. What makes a good story?
  35. 35. r g etBe at ta by 33%
  36. 36. DEMENTIA NURSE APPEALThis Spring, let’s notforget the 72,500 peoplewith dementia in Scotland.
  37. 37. What’s missing?
  38. 38. “With over 72,500 people in Scotlandneeding the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse, and that figureexpected to double over the next 25 to30 years, it’s essential that this appeal is a success.” More than 70,000 people in Scotlandneed the the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse. That’s 70,000 mothers, fathers, wives or husbands. Perhaps one of them is even someone you know.And the shocking news is that over the next 25 years, the number of people with dementia is set to double. That’s going to put intense pressure on ourservices. We need your support now so that we can ensure every person withdementia receives the care and support they need.
  39. 39. Four t imes mone as mu y rais ch ed
  40. 40. Copywriting Case Study
  41. 41. Helpline Number 1800 341 900 Clear, tangible, early ask in standfirst Content warning Starts telling the story… (visual descriptions) Emotion Detail (credibility)Letter mentions “you”,“your” or “yourself ” 11 times on first page.
  42. 42. “you” / “your”mentioned a further 8 times here Need emphasised Deadline to build urgencySpecific ask linked to benefitsPersonal testimony to build credibility
  43. 43. Emotion (Anger) 3rd Ask
  44. 44. Benefit / SolutionPersonal and emotional Benefit / Solution
  45. 45. ThanksSpecific examples ofwhat your gift will do 4th Ask 5th Ask
  46. 46. Data capture at top Helpline Number 1800 341 900Prominent reference to€250 tax efficient giving levelRepeat of call to action from Margaret
  47. 47. The Results…New donors recruited: 196 (30% ahead of target) (36% more than 2009)Average Gift: €141 (Increase of 67% on 2009)Net cost per acquisition: €0 (down from €121 in 2009)
  48. 48. Up 84% on-yearyear-
  49. 49. General Monthly Gifts Top Donors20092010 General Cash +28% Monthly Gifts +88% Top Donors +227%
  50. 50. Not just tangible - restricted Increased focus on top donor segments Core service - familiar, understandable topic Emotional, donor-centred, visual, great storyClear need & achievable solution
  51. 51. “You” or “Your” is repeated 14 times on Page 1 (and donor’s name appears four times) Visual stimulus Articulation of need Introduces story... Thanks donor and demonstrates impact
  52. 52. Donor focused solution Clear target
  53. 53. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Long copy almost always beats short copy ‣ Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ but mostly ‘You’ ‣ Use active rather than passive language ‣ Keep and language simple, the sentences short the avoid jargon like the plague
  54. 54. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Make it sounds like someone is taking ‣ Appeal on the basis of benefits, not needs (or features) ‣ Tell(make a gift of €25; email your localthem to do people exactly what you want TD)... ‣ ... And make it as easy as possible for them to do it.
  55. 55. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ You can drive up response by using... - urgency - deadlines - targets
  56. 56. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Tell stories ‣ Use emotion ‣ Make it personal ‣ PS: Always include a PS - it’s usually read first and most often
  57. 57. Make it easy to read‣ Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif typeface‣ Indent paragraphs and vary their length‣ Break up the text images, handwritten notes underline, italics, with sub-heads, bold,
  58. 58. Make it easy to respond‣ Be clear what you’re looking for‣ Large donation forms and plenty of room to write‣ Make forms easy to negotiate
  59. 59. Copy Exercise1. Headline/Standfirst / Johnson Box2. First page3. PS4. Call to action on response device
  60. 60. Thank You www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob damian@askdirect.ie

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