Quick Dick News #6 - if The Onion had a drive-thru window, this is what it would serve


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Quick Dick News #6 - if The Onion had a drive-thru window, this is what it would serve

  1. 1. It’s News It’s Quick It’s Dick Quick Dick News#6 © Dick Sharp
  2. 2. The Elvis Hospice in Memphis allows patients to die on the toilet. © Dick Sharp
  3. 3. © Dick Sharp
  4. 4. The Shanghai Enquirer reports that the octuplet couple, Su Lee and Ming Ho, are getting divorced and splitting custody of Jo Shu, Moo Goo, Sun Ryp, Duk Bil, Z Bra, Pak Man, Wig Owt and Bet Boop. © Dick Sharp
  5. 5. The National Enquirer reports that once his presidency is over Barack Obama wants to have a sex change operation and open a dance club in San Francisco called Superfly. © Dick Sharp
  6. 6. © Dick Sharp
  7. 7. The Gay Canadian Hockey League Allows fighting but it has to be open-fisted. No punching. All slapping. Players can also kick but they must take off their skates first. © Dick Sharp
  8. 8. © Dick Sharp
  9. 9. The Catholic Math confuses me. Jesus was born in December. Four months later he’s 33 years old. If every four months = 33 years I’m as old as Noah! © Dick Sharp
  10. 10. A Jack-in-the-Box in the Ukraine is called a Vlad-in-the-Box © Dick Sharp
  11. 11. The Mime Channel has been on TV for a year and no one’s watching. Not with programming like “The Mime Evening News” (close captioned for the hearing impaired), the daytime shows “The Mime and the Restless” and “Southern Mime Cooking,” classic films “Bridge Over the River Mime” and “Beneath the Planet of the Mimes.” And on weekends it’s the 26 teams of MLMB – Major League Mime Baseball. © Dick Sharp
  12. 12. © Dick Sharp
  13. 13. A Tennessee hillbilly is makin’ moonshine out of Elvis sweat that’s flowin’ from a creek from underneath Graceland. There’s two flavors: Elvis Lite, when the king was young and handsome, and aHunga Hunga when the king was a fat ass. © Dick Sharp
  14. 14. © Dick Sharp
  15. 15. Once Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, realized the family he married into was well connected, he got lazy, drank a lot, got a wine belly, watched reruns of All in the Hebrew Family And Jerusalem Junction. © Dick Sharp