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Poly and Single
Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating
Where?




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?




                        Hmmm... Hot Bi
                       Babe seeks couple

@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?

     • OK Cupid




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife
     • Pagan events




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife
     • Pagan events
     • Renaissance Faires




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife
     • Pagan events
     • Renaissance Faires
     • Gaming/sci-fi conventions




@...
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife
     • Pagan events
     • Renaissance Faires
     • Gaming/sci-fi conventions
     ...
Where?

     • OK Cupid
     • FetLife
     • Pagan events
     • Renaissance Faires
     • Gaming/sci-fi conventions
     ...
Know thyself




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Know thyself




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Your
                      user
                     manual

@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Your
                                     user
                     Tab A goes
                     into Slot B?   manual
...
User Manual: Part A
                        Family history

                • Parents: relationship/major events
         ...
User
                      Manual:
                       Part B
                      How you
                       work...
User Manual: Part B
               How you work emotionally
   I need to feel...


               • Included
             ...
User Manual: Part B
               How you work emotionally
   I need to feel...
                                  Here, l...
User Manual: Part C
       How you work sexually




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
User Manual: Part C
       How you work sexually

      I hope he
     puts these in
       my butt!

                    ...
User Manual: Part C
                     How you work sexually
               • What makes you giggle/feel weak?
         ...
User Manual: Part D
              What is sex?




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
User Manual: Part D
              What is sex?
                      Wait...
                      what?!

               ...
User Manual: Part D
                        What is sex?
               • What is your take on casual sex?
               ...
Second to
                      NONE!



@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...




@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover




@cunningminx
www...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Secondary’s Bill of Rights
   You have the right to...
            • spend time alone with your lover
            • spend ...
Your responsibilities



                                • Ask about ground rules
                                • Ask ab...
Your responsibilities
                           Did you
                       remember to get
                          ...
How to
                     date a
                     couple


@cunningminx
www.polyweekly.com
How to
                                        date a
                                        couple
                     ...
What to do when they’re fighting




  @cunningminx
  www.polyweekly.com
Warning signs


                           • “She’s OK with it”
                           • Comparisons
                 ...
Poly and Single
Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating
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Poly and single: Tips for Poly Dating

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Session given at Poly Living West, October 23, 2010. Poly dating tips from a single poly gal.

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Poly and single: Tips for Poly Dating

  1. 1. Poly and Single Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating
  2. 2. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  3. 3. Where? Hmmm... Hot Bi Babe seeks couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  4. 4. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  5. 5. Where? • OK Cupid @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  6. 6. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  7. 7. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  8. 8. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  9. 9. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  10. 10. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  11. 11. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man • Bisexuality events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  12. 12. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  13. 13. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  14. 14. Your user manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  15. 15. Your user Tab A goes into Slot B? manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  16. 16. User Manual: Part A Family history • Parents: relationship/major events • Siblings: relationships/major events • What are your basic traits? • What is your baggage? • What do you value in life? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  17. 17. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  18. 18. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally I need to feel... • Included • Supported • Opened up to • Understood @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  19. 19. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally I need to feel... Here, let me help • Included • Supported • Opened up to • Understood @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  20. 20. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  21. 21. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually I hope he puts these in my butt! What a lovely pattern! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  22. 22. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually • What makes you giggle/feel weak? • Which touches turn you on? • What gestures are especially meaningful? • What is a special date for you? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  23. 23. User Manual: Part D What is sex? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  24. 24. User Manual: Part D What is sex? Wait... what?! We’re having sex right now! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  25. 25. User Manual: Part D What is sex? • What is your take on casual sex? • What is sex? • What are you into? • Tried and true turn-ons? • What are you willing to try? • What are your turn-offs? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  26. 26. Second to NONE! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  27. 27. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  28. 28. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  29. 29. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  30. 30. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  31. 31. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  32. 32. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  33. 33. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  34. 34. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • explain what you want from the relationship @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  35. 35. Your responsibilities • Ask about ground rules • Ask about your partners • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection • Check in regularly @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  36. 36. Your responsibilities Did you remember to get tested? • Ask about ground rules • Ask about your partners • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection • Check in regularly @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  37. 37. How to date a couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  38. 38. How to date a couple No, dear, tonight we find a Hot Bi Babe! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  39. 39. What to do when they’re fighting @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  40. 40. Warning signs • “She’s OK with it” • Comparisons • “She doesn’t understand that” • Life-changing decisions during NRE @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  41. 41. Poly and Single Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating

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