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Dating into the future for Manchester Futurists


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Manchester Futurists -
dating, matching and love is important for the future of humanity;
some of the issues when you mix corporate and capital interests in the
matter; and the effects future dating could have on culture and

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Dating into the future for Manchester Futurists

  1. 1. Ian Forrester @cubicgarden Dating into the future?
  2. 2. Adult conversations only @cubicgarden | | Think LGBTQA+ Think non-monogamous relationships No shaming or bashing Let’s talk sex safety Be respectful, don’t assume and keep things friendly
  3. 3. TEDxMCR Valentines day 2015 @cubicgarden | |
  4. 4. 38 year old divorcee, left-leaning, feminist & self confessed geek I’m @cubicgarden if interested @cubicgarden
  5. 5. Expert by experience Claire
  6. 6. A bit of a ethical serial dater Compared to the typical number of dates people go on before committing to a relationship
  7. 7. The wikipedia of online dating Northern Lass in The Guardian
  8. 8. Dating for science @cubicgarden | | |
  9. 9. Where is online dating now? @cubicgarden | |
  10. 10. Online dating in 2010s @cubicgarden | “I thought the big changes in romance were obvious—technological developments like smartphones, online dating, and social media sites. As I dug deeper, however, I realized that the transformation of our romantic lives cannot be explained by technology alone; there’s much more to the story. In a very short period of time, the whole culture of finding love and a mate has radically changed” - Aziz Ansari
  11. 11. Online dating in 2010s @cubicgarden | “Today people spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. The tools we use on this search are different, but what has really changed is our desires and “even more strikingly” the underlying goals of the search itself”
  12. 12. Why you should care?
  13. 13. The internet changed everything @cubicgarden | credit -
  14. 14. Collapsing geography & changing culture @cubicgarden | People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form. “It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,” “A century ago people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after they decided neither party seemed like a murderer, the couple would get married and have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-two” - Aziz Ansari
  15. 15. Short and bitter sweet @cubicgarden | | As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find partners to date and have sex with. In the 90s it was Craigslist and AOL chat rooms, then and But the lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in You’ve Got Mail (1998) seem positively Victorian in comparison to the messages sent on the average dating app today. “I’ll get a text that says, ‘Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22, a senior at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany. “They’ll tell you, ‘Come over and sit on my face,’ ” says her friend, Ashley, 19.
  16. 16. Essential part of the human experience @cubicgarden | credit -
  17. 17. Dominant way people meet @cubicgarden |
  18. 18. Population relies on this all @cubicgarden | |
  19. 19. Future lies in the east? @cubicgarden | | |
  20. 20. Too big for the private sector? @cubicgarden | | “… local Japanese governments have set up speed-dating services where people can come to meet potential lifelong partners. The programs come in response to the country's population woes. Due primarily to younger generations losing interest in getting married and starting families, the population has actually shrunk by more than 1 million since 2010”
  21. 21. Disturbing insights
  22. 22. The paradox of choice @cubicgarden
  23. 23. Fetishisation of the profile photo @cubicgarden |
  24. 24. Scams, catfish, blackmail, sextortion... @cubicgarden | |
  25. 25. Cognitive burn-out @cubicgarden |
  26. 26. Grass is greener syndrome @cubicgarden |
  27. 27. Endemic corruption
  28. 28. @cubicgarden | Fundamental mismatch Matchgroup (IAC) own OkCupid, POF, Tinder, Howaboutwe,, etc… Valued at $5.8 Billion (2017) Revenue $1.2 Billion (2016) Net income $172.0 Million (2016)
  29. 29. Fake & ghost profiles @cubicgarden | | |
  30. 30. Membership loop @cubicgarden |
  31. 31. Revenue from attention & personal data @cubicgarden
  32. 32. How much money per minute @cubicgarden | |
  33. 33. Paired-off daters = lost revenue @cubicgarden
  34. 34. Lack of duty & care for its users @cubicgarden
  35. 35. Tinder is like crack? @cubicgarden | | In a study on the brains of drug addicts, researchers found that the expectation of the drug caused more release of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine than the actual drug itself. Similarly, for those who may be expecting the next swipe on Tinder to lead to reward, serial swiping can start to look and feel a lot like addiction. In 2015 Tinder began to limit the amount of daily right swipes to around 100 for users who don’t buy into their premium service. There have already been reports of Tinder withdrawal for those who have tried to break up with their Tinder account.
  36. 36. Gamification @cubicgarden |
  37. 37. Cultural change
  38. 38. Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse” @cubicgarden | As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the realm of sex. Hookup culture, which has been percolating for about a hundred years, has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship. “We are in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al.
  39. 39. Half of British Singles don’t do IRL @cubicgarden |
  40. 40. 46% had never broken up with someone in person @cubicgarden |
  41. 41. Majority would rather check Tinder @cubicgarden |
  42. 42. It’s all fake accounts anyway @cubicgarden | Some dating sites allow under-18s to join. Tinder was one of them until recently (2016) it had 7% of its users aged between 13 and 17 (outnumbering 35 to 44-year-olds!). Tinder is officially 18+ now, but age limits aren't foolproof
  43. 43. One of many tinder games @cubicgarden | 1. Find the “hottest” person in the bar take a picture of them 2. Create a fake Facebook account, which is needed to create a Tinder account 3. Back on Tinder swipe right on only the most “unattractive” people 4. Flirt with them, posing as the attractive person in the bar, and invite them to the bar for a drink 5. Watch as they arrive looking for the hot person and the confusion which follows
  44. 44. The fear of rejection
  45. 45. Alexandr Milov’s Love @cubicgarden |
  46. 46. We have conflated intimacy with sex @cubicgarden |
  47. 47. 6 types of love @cubicgarden | 1. Eros, or sexual passion 2. Philia, or deep friendship 3. Ludus, or playful love 4. Agape, or love for everyone 5. Pragma, or longstanding love 6. Philautia, or love of the self
  48. 48. What’s intimacy to you? @cubicgarden |
  49. 49. Intimacy and human connection @cubicgarden |
  50. 50. Accelerated intimacy @cubicgarden | |
  51. 51. Accelerated intimacy: Undressed @cubicgarden | |
  52. 52. Accelerated intimacy @cubicgarden | | Turn to the person next to you and spend 4 mins asking a single question then 1 mins looking into each others eyes 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? 16. What do you value most in a friendship? 18. What is your most terrible memory? 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  53. 53. Gimmicks and marketing
  54. 54. They never shut up! @cubicgarden | (April 2017)
  55. 55. Shiny, shiny, new, new and more gimmicks @cubicgarden |
  56. 56. Invite only dating networks |
  57. 57. Invite only dating networks @cubicgarden |
  58. 58. eHarmony skill and pof google assistant support |
  59. 59. Be a hater @cubicgarden |
  60. 60. Blind dating @cubicgarden | |
  61. 61. Words of heart @cubicgarden |
  62. 62. Other senses @cubicgarden |
  63. 63. Flirting with augmented reality @cubicgarden |
  64. 64. Super niche? @cubicgarden | | |
  65. 65. @cubicgarden | Dating coach bot
  66. 66. Why would you leave the social scene? @cubicgarden |
  67. 67. Once @cubicgarden |
  68. 68. Once upon a Nosedive? @cubicgarden |
  69. 69. The future of consensual sex? @cubicgarden |
  70. 70. Demo of live contracts to digitize agreements @cubicgarden |
  71. 71. Something is working?
  72. 72. Part of my bookshelf @cubicgarden
  73. 73. Is there an algorithm for love? @cubicgarden | |
  74. 74. Algorithmic hokey pokey? @cubicgarden | | ...past 80 years of scientific research about what makes people romantically compatible suggests that such sites are unlikely to do what they claim to do
  75. 75. Birthday paradox? @cubicgarden |
  76. 76. Love is a numbers game? @cubicgarden | Amy Webb - | Hannah Fry | Chris McKinlay -
  77. 77. Unsexy & brutally effective @cubicgarden |
  78. 78. Black mirror season 4 ep4: hang the dj @cubicgarden |
  79. 79. Brutally effective @cubicgarden | In the future, apps like Tinder may be able to infer more about our personalities and lifestyles through our social media activity than an eHarmony questionnaire ever could capture. Researchers already think they can predict how neurotic we are from our Foursquare check-ins, whether or not we’re depressed from our Tweets and the filters we choose on Instagram, and how intelligent, happy, and likely to use drugs we are from our Facebook likes
  80. 80. Brutally effective @cubicgarden | Algorithms could also use our online behavior to learn the real answers to questions we might lie about in a dating questionnaire. One of OkCupid’s matching questions, for example, asks “Do you work out a lot?” But MeetMeOutside, a dating app for sporty people, asks users to link their Fitbits and prove they’re physically active through their step counts. This type of data is harder to fake. Or, rather than ask someone whether they’re more likely to go out or Netflix and chill on a Friday night, a dating app could simply collect this data from our GPS or Foursquare activity and pair equally active users.
  81. 81. Use the system or face the conquences @cubicgarden |
  82. 82. Alternative could be scary @cubicgarden | |
  83. 83. Imagine life insurance rejections @cubicgarden |
  84. 84. Overruling choice @cubicgarden |
  85. 85. Algorithm religion & bias @cubicgarden | It’s also possible that computers, with access to more data and processing power than any human, could pick up on patterns human beings miss or can’t even recognize. “When you’re looking through the feed of someone you’re considering, you only have access to their behavior,” “But an algorithm would have access to the differences between their behavior and a million other people’s. There are instincts that you have looking through someone’s feed that might be difficult to quantify, and there may be other dimension we don’t see… nonlinear combinations which aren’t easy to explain.”
  86. 86. Artificial intelligence matching @cubicgarden |
  87. 87. Brutally effective @cubicgarden |
  88. 88. Datasets or people? @cubicgarden | |
  89. 89. Could a combination be the key? @cubicgarden |
  90. 90. The future: what humans love
  91. 91. Think about all those single friends @cubicgarden | The Lobster -
  92. 92. The fun of matchmaking? @cubicgarden | |
  93. 93. Chronic matchmaking @cubicgarden | Four studies exploring the psychology underlying people’s proclivity to connect people to each other playing “matchmaker.” - Associated with higher well-being - Is more enjoyable and rewarding than matching people who would not get along - Most rewarding when matching people of different genders and ethnic backgrounds
  94. 94. Money diminishes people’s motivation @cubicgarden | - Can I really make money on Ponder? Yes, each time you successfully matchmake a couple, where they both ‘like’ each other, you win $10. If they eventually end up marrying you win $1000 - Is Ponder a dating app? No, it’s a game for playing matchmaker. Everyone can play it, not just singles. However, singles also get to find great dates – with friends and others in the community doing the matchmaking, not some schmucky algorithm - Do I have to pay to use Ponder? Not if you’re just matchmaking and not dating. You start off with $20 of Ponder cash upon creating your account, gaining $10 for every successful match (mutual like) you make for others, and trading in $10 for every match that’s successfully made for you. So if you’re already in a relationship you’ll probably make money. If you’re single, you can’t communicate with matches unless you have a positive Ponder cash balance. You can buy 10 Ponder dollars for 10 real dollars or make it up by successfully matchmaking others
  95. 95. What is the future of online dating?
  96. 96. Federated dating @cubicgarden | Gradual disclosure? Search? Strandard data types? Protected information? How do people get in touch? How do you stop harassment?
  97. 97. Proximity, interests, friends, family, etc @cubicgarden | Modern Romance People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet meeting is surpassing every other form. “It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,”
  98. 98. Distributed matchmaking with neutral incentives for all @cubicgarden |
  99. 99. @cubicgarden Ian Forrester @cubicgarden Thank you for listening, questions?