Chapter 8 Part 1 Cst110


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Chapter 8 Part 1 Cst110

  1. 1. Chapter 8 <ul><li>Evaluating and Improving Relationships, part 1 </li></ul>
  2. 2. Reasons for Failed Relationships <ul><li>Do you agree? Why the different reasons? </li></ul>Versus
  3. 3. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Most relationships begin with superficial conversations and interactions and if the two like each other then will increase the length and breadth of disclosure </li></ul>I see you like the color blue… I love your jacket… Oh, I hate that too…
  4. 4. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Initiating </li></ul><ul><li>Characterized by nervousness, caution, hesitation; these work to protect us against rejection </li></ul><ul><li>What are the more positive characteristics of this stage? </li></ul>
  5. 5. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Experimenting </li></ul><ul><li>An effort is made to find common interests and goals </li></ul><ul><li>This stage may take a long time </li></ul><ul><li>This stage is more relaxed than the first, but still uncertain </li></ul><ul><li>A relationship may stay at this stage </li></ul>
  6. 6. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Intensifying </li></ul><ul><li>This stage is much more comfortable as each person knows more about the other </li></ul><ul><li>Pet names or inside jokes often begin in this stage </li></ul><ul><li>Trust is stronger; is often good but some may see it as increased vulnerability </li></ul>
  7. 7. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Integrating </li></ul><ul><li>Personalities start to merge; more of a “we” than he and she </li></ul><ul><li>Some people dislike this stage and may end the relationship for fear of losing his/her individuality or fear of being “tied down” </li></ul>
  8. 8. Stages of a Relationship <ul><li>Bonding </li></ul><ul><li>An announcement of commitment is made (marriage, making it “official”, wearing his jacket, etc) </li></ul><ul><li>This stage makes it more difficult for each to break away </li></ul><ul><li>Nonromantic relationships enter this stage as well </li></ul>
  9. 9. Coming Apart <ul><li>Differentiating </li></ul><ul><li>People focus not on being a “we” but being an individual </li></ul><ul><li>Much of the conversation in the this stage focuses on the differences; arguments about being incompatible </li></ul><ul><li>This may be healthy is the people can work things out and get past it </li></ul>
  10. 10. Coming Apart <ul><li>Circumscribing </li></ul><ul><li>Less and less information is exchanged </li></ul><ul><li>Avoidance of points that may cause conflict </li></ul><ul><li>People often pursue different activities </li></ul><ul><li>Often try to cover up any problems in the relationship to outsiders </li></ul>
  11. 11. Coming Apart <ul><li>Stagnating </li></ul><ul><li>The relationship does not grow, the partner do not communicate like they are in a relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Partner may want to hold on simply for the sake of comfort, familiarity </li></ul><ul><li>Either or both may feel unwanted, bored, sentimental, etc </li></ul>
  12. 12. Coming Apart <ul><li>Avoiding </li></ul><ul><li>Physical separation </li></ul><ul><li>Characterized by unfriendliness, hostility </li></ul><ul><li>If physical separation is not possible, the people may act as the other does not exist </li></ul>
  13. 13. Coming Apart <ul><li>Terminating </li></ul><ul><li>The relationship comes to an end </li></ul><ul><li>Differences are emphasized and communication usually ends as well </li></ul><ul><li>Some relationships cannot completely end; in the case of children </li></ul>