Today I came across a very interesting cover story in The Observer eliciting relationship problems that often turn a great love relationship to an irritating and annoying love hate relationship.
Here is an excerpt from the story:
IRRITANTS: Little things that wreck great love relationships
THURSDAY, 03 APRIL 2014 21:31
WRITTEN BY ANDREW KAGGWA
It is said that when people are in a relationship, they tend to tolerate but also annoy each other.
Though a highly-sexualised society delivers an alluring drumbeat of anxieties such as infidelity, it may be the petty problems that subvert the love life.
These could be dirty socks on the floor, the way a partner chews their food, being too slow when in a rush….
The story speaks very specifically about relationship problems as to how they spring up. It does not take much time for a love relationship to turn to a love hate relationship before it ends up into a pure hate relationship and then finally into a broken relationship.
Either of the spouses might not be giving space to the other to let them live the way they want to. They might be too intimidating.
At the other end of the spectrum, they might not be caring about the very basic needs of their partner e.g. not leaving the toilet dirty after using it as they come out of it.
What happens during the romantic relationships of the dating period is different. Each of the partners shows his or her best face then. But once they get married and start living under the same roof, they cannot afford to hide the way they actually are and have to undergo the real love relationship test.
There can be thousands and thousands of irritating habits in everyone’s behavior patterns, but they all can be summarized in the following three basic problems:
1. The most basic of all relationship problems is that we often do not grow up as democratic persons in our attitude and want to dominate the other in action. We are narcissistic. We do not give space to the ones we interact with.
2. The second problem is that we care more for ourselves than we care for the other in general, as this is what we have been taught in learning how to be successful in the rat race of our competitive society that we are a part of.
3. The third problem turning a love relationship to a love hate relationship is that we are very perfectionist people and tend to be in the lookout for a perfect partner for ourselves. Unfortunately there is no such person as a perfect partner to anyone on the entire planet. The earlier we understand it, the better we will be able to live cordially with anyone on earth!
Are you or your spouse one among these?