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Family Relationships “ In a united family,  happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb Is your family united?  How can ...
What are  the Secrets  of a Strong Family?
<ul><li>Frequently, short </li></ul><ul><li>Appreciative of invisible work </li></ul><ul><li>Deuche’s Law – Behavior is Co...
<ul><li>Small touches (non-sexual) </li></ul><ul><li>Love Currency – understanding what it is for the other person and lea...
<ul><li>They go with each other when one of them has an activity. </li></ul><ul><li>We should also tell them about our day...
<ul><li>Quality time is a function of quantity time. </li></ul><ul><li>Peak experiences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Vacations </...
<ul><li>Strong families can solve problems in creative ways. </li></ul><ul><li>Happy families have the same number of argu...
<ul><li>The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques. </li></ul><ul><li>If my goal is to win….ba...
Family Placement Activity <ul><li>Students who are: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The oldest child go to the NE corner of room. </...
Birth Order <ul><li>The order in which children are born into a family influences the development of the children. </li></...
Oldest Child <ul><li>Usually set up as an example to the other children. </li></ul><ul><li>Treated more like an adult by h...
Middle Child <ul><li>May work extra-hard to get recognition. </li></ul><ul><li>Is usually a peacemaker. </li></ul><ul><li>...
Youngest Child <ul><li>Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing. </li></ul><ul><li>May be spoiled. </li></ul><...
Toothpaste Activity <ul><li>Student draws a line on the black paper with the toothpaste for every degrading thing I say an...
Sibling Rivalry <ul><li>Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for dominance. </li...
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Family relationships

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Family relationships

  1. 1. Family Relationships “ In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb Is your family united? How can you help unite and strengthen your family?
  2. 2. What are the Secrets of a Strong Family?
  3. 3. <ul><li>Frequently, short </li></ul><ul><li>Appreciative of invisible work </li></ul><ul><li>Deuche’s Law – Behavior is Contagious </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks. </li></ul>Appreciation
  4. 4. <ul><li>Small touches (non-sexual) </li></ul><ul><li>Love Currency – understanding what it is for the other person and learn to give it. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Make your Love Currency explicit. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Gender differences and love currency. </li></ul></ul>Affection
  5. 5. <ul><li>They go with each other when one of them has an activity. </li></ul><ul><li>We should also tell them about our day – then we are sharing. </li></ul><ul><li>Commitment = How you spend your time and money. </li></ul><ul><li>The commitment is in writing – a mission statement. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one sentence. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Mission statements change as the family changes. </li></ul></ul>Commitment
  6. 6. <ul><li>Quality time is a function of quantity time. </li></ul><ul><li>Peak experiences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Vacations </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Camping </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Continuous experiences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Eating together </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Chores </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Doing homework </li></ul></ul><ul><li>The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship. </li></ul>Time Together
  7. 7. <ul><li>Strong families can solve problems in creative ways. </li></ul><ul><li>Happy families have the same number of arguments, but they have spaces filled with happy times. </li></ul><ul><li>It is ok to have problems, but the key is to solve them quickly. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The longer you are in an argument, the harder it is to get out. Why? </li></ul></ul>Creative Problem Solving
  8. 8. <ul><li>The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques. </li></ul><ul><li>If my goal is to win….bad </li></ul><ul><li>If my goal is to understand or help….good </li></ul><ul><li>As we communicate, we need to be aware of our goals. If it is a good goal, our communication will go well. </li></ul><ul><li>Techniques are good, but tend to be mechanical. Say it in your own language. </li></ul>Communication
  9. 9. Family Placement Activity <ul><li>Students who are: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The oldest child go to the NE corner of room. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The youngest child go to the SE corner. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The middle child go to the SW corner. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Each group is to list the advantages and disadvantages of their birth order on a blank piece of paper. Each group will present their findings. </li></ul>
  10. 10. Birth Order <ul><li>The order in which children are born into a family influences the development of the children. </li></ul><ul><li>Oldest children bear the burden of the parents’ heaviest expectations and also of the parents’ inexperience in raising children. </li></ul><ul><li>Second or third children are generally treated in a more relaxed way by the parents. </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest children often have a more difficult time in making the transition to adulthood. </li></ul>
  11. 11. Oldest Child <ul><li>Usually set up as an example to the other children. </li></ul><ul><li>Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. </li></ul><ul><li>A high achiever. </li></ul><ul><li>Given and accepts more responsibility than the other children. </li></ul><ul><li>Usually college-bound. </li></ul><ul><li>Independent. </li></ul><ul><li>Affectionate. </li></ul>
  12. 12. Middle Child <ul><li>May work extra-hard to get recognition. </li></ul><ul><li>Is usually a peacemaker. </li></ul><ul><li>Is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is an all-around good student. </li></ul><ul><li>Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult. </li></ul>
  13. 13. Youngest Child <ul><li>Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing. </li></ul><ul><li>May be spoiled. </li></ul><ul><li>Usually matures quickly. </li></ul><ul><li>May be undisciplined and irresponsible. </li></ul><ul><li>Is easy-going about school. </li></ul><ul><li>Likes to associate with someone who takes charge of situations. </li></ul>
  14. 14. Toothpaste Activity <ul><li>Student draws a line on the black paper with the toothpaste for every degrading thing I say and a circle for every positive comment. </li></ul><ul><li>Give the paper to another student. </li></ul><ul><li>Have this student put the toothpaste back into the tube of toothpaste. </li></ul>Once we have said something, we can never take the words back – they have left their mark!
  15. 15. Sibling Rivalry <ul><li>Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for dominance. </li></ul><ul><li>It can occur at any age, even into adult life. </li></ul><ul><li>Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship is probably the strongest. </li></ul>

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