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  1. 1. Personal YOUR PERSONAL COACH VOLUME 1 ISSUE 6 May 2007SuccessOfficial publication of The Academy Club and The Coaching AcademyFree Yourself From FearDr Susan JeffersMichael NeillFeel happy nowNO LIMITSNETWORKINGDump TheEmotional BaggageHOW TO SPEAKWITH CONFIDENCEMultiply Your IncomeJurgen Wolff:SEVEN SECRETS OF MARKETING SUCCESSExpert tips, coaching advice, and much, much more!
  2. 2. 2 CONTENTS WHAT’S INSIDE Publisher: Jonathan Jay Editor’s Letter 20 MULTIPLY YOUR INCOME Academy Publishing The lawns of a historic home Editor: were the last place I had expected Marie-Louise Cook to see visited by fear but it was there that early Spring morning. Graphic Designer: Like the people who sat at tables David Freshwater around me, I wasn’t looking at Contributors: the building, as splendid as it Dr Susan Jeffers was, but at the peacock that was slowly making its Michael Neill way from table to table, its long train of iridescent Judi Conner feathers dragging across the grass. I wondered if Richard M. Highsmith like me, the other people there were hoping that Tom Stone the strange and beautiful bird would come closer. I Ed Peppitt picked up my camera, hoping to capture its image Jurgen Wolff forever and that’s when I saw the fear. Oriana Tickell de Castello It was there on the young woman’s face. She was Production Manager: sitting at a nearby table and until the peacock Lisa Snape, ALS Designs visited, she’d been laughing and talking with a man 22 THE SEVEN SECRETS OF Contact Address: seated next to her. But as the peacock made its way MARKETING SUCCESS The Academy Club to her side, I saw her shrink back in her chair, away 39-43 Putney High Street from the bird. Curiously, the peacock wouldn’t leave London the woman alone… it returned again and again to SW15 1SP her table and each time, she would visibly flinch at its presence. It got worse… before I left, I saw it Contact Email: reach up and snatch a piece of cake from her plate. Contact Telephone: Afterwards, I wondered what effect the fear of 0208 789 5676 peacocks has on that woman’s life and especially whether that morning’s close encounter would make matters worse. Will she avoid visiting historic homes ever again? Will zoos be out too? Is she only scared of peacocks or all birds? I appreciated anew 18 DUMP THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE the limits that fear can place on our lives… and how it prevents us from appreciating the magnificence that surrounds us and stops us from reaching our full potential. I also saw how fear returns until we have the courage to face it and move on ourselves. Dr Susan Jeffers, the author of Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway and this month’s cover story, says fear is not a barrier to be leapt over just the once but a constant companion. By overcoming a fear, we have the experience of courage that we can then use to overcome any new fears in the future. Eleanor Roosevelt said something similar: “I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him.” On behalf of the Academy Club Team, may I wish you every courage to face any fear that may be stopping you from having the life you desire. ise Marie-Lou Marie-Louise Cook Editor 10 FEEL HAPPY NOW PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  3. 3. CONTENTS 3 FREE WEEKEND COACHING COURSES FREE 16 SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE WEEKENDCOVER STORY4 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARInternational best-selling authorand the woman dubbed ‘The speaking terror a thing of the past by following the expert advice of Richard M. Highsmith, M.S., of The Leader’s Institute. COACHING COURSESQueen of Self-Help’ Dr SusanJeffers explains how to Feel The 18 DUMP THEFear And Do It Anyway®. EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE Tom Stone explains how to create es9 BOOK REVIEWS new dat an enriched life, free of self- sabotaging emotions and fears.10 COACHING SUCCESS – BUSINESS BUILDING r el eas edFEEL HAPPY NOWYou can feel happy whateveryour circumstances, says Michael 20 MULTIPLY YOUR INCOME Publisher Edward Peppitt explains juneNeill, author, radio host, Master how you can easily create multiple 2nd / 3rd June – BrightonNLP Trainer and the man Paul streams of income from your 9th / 10th June – LondonMcKenna describes as ‘the finest coaching.Success Coach in the world today’. 16th / 17th June – Leeds 22 THE SEVEN SECRETS OF 31st June / 1st July – CoventryCOACHING DEVELOPMENTS MARKETING SUCCESS14 NO LIMITS NETWORKINGNetworking, according toPerformance Coach Judi Conner, Author Jurgen Wolff shares seven of his best marketing tips to help you get more business. julyis a must-have skill if you want to 7th / 8th July – Londonexpand your business. She shares BACK PAGE 14th / 15th July – Manchesterher best networking tips that will MY (MEXICO) DAY 21st / 22nd July – Latimerhelp overcome any nerves. When journalist Oriana Tickell de Castello trained as a coach 28th / 29th April – CardiffPERSONAL DEVELOPMENT with The Coaching Academy,16 HOW TO SPEAK WITHCONFIDENCEDoes an invitation to address a and returned to Mexico, she was plagued by self-doubts. Would there be any demand for augustsmall gathering bring you out coaching? She explains what 4th / 5th August – Londonin a cold sweat? Make public happened next. 11th / 12th August – Leeds 18th / 19th August – Latimer with unsurpassed coach training skills and it continues to develop and the coaching deliver high quality courses to meet academy the changing needs of the market. call now to secure you place To discover how your career can 0208 789 5676 The Coaching Academy is the longest benefit from the Coaching Academy, established and most popular coach please log on to www.the-coaching- training provider in the UK and Europe. or speak to one of our In seven years, it has provided nearly friendly qualified advisors at 12,000 people from 52 countries +44 (0)208 789 5676. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
  4. 4. 4 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR Dr Susan Jeffers’ trademarked title Feel The Fear And Do It Free Yourself Fear Anyway®* has become so much From a part of our everyday language that it seems incredible it’s only 20 years since the earth- shaking life-affirming manual hit bookshelves. Like all classics, it’s as relevant today and tomorrow as it was when it was arrived on the self-help scene. No wonder that Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® has become a mantra for those who want to lead better lives. By Marie-Louise Cook. Dr Susan Jeffers The woman dubbed the ‘Queen of Self- attending.” So, I put on my coat, and told my Help’ is at home in California the day I call. secretary that I was going to the New School. Unlike British royalty, it’s surprisingly easy She said, “Why?” and I said, “I haven’t a clue.” to get hold of Dr Susan Jeffers – there are no I didn’t even know where it was. I got into a minions, lackeys or gatekeepers to deal with cab, which took me there. “ – when I call, she answers the phone herself and laughs when I am surprised. Laughter is ‘I looked at the bulletin board in the a big part of an interview with Susan Jeffers lobby and saw the Department of Human – another surprise – and in fact, when we Resources and thought, “That feels right.” The things we finish talking, she urges me to go and see So, that’s where I went. Nobody was at the the musical Spamalot, insisting I will love it front desk but there was a woman in the want the most so much that I’ll call her and thank her for the suggestion. It’s just one of the many office to the right and she said to me, “Can I help you?” I swear to you, I don’t know are often the excellent recommendations she provides where the words came from but I said, “I’m things we during the interview. here to teach a course on fear.” most fear ” Personal Success: How did you come up with the phrase ‘Feel the Fear And Do It ‘Here’s the shock: she looked at me and said, “I can’t believe it! I have been searching approaching. Anyway®’? for somebody to teach a course on fear and today is the last day to put it into the Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘For 10 years, I was the catalogue and I have to leave in 15 minutes.” Executive Director of The Floating Hospital Her name was Ruth Van Doren and both of a lot about not letting rejection stop you. in Manhattan [which provides healthcare for us were in a state of shock. She asked for my Nobody wanted to buy it. I had agents and the poor in New York]. During that same credentials of course and then said, “Quick, publishers reject it and I guess my best time, I attended workshop after workshop write 75 words about this course that you’re rejection letter or worst, depending on how seeking ways to push through the many going to teach,” which I did. And on the spot, you look at it, was from an English publisher fears I had at the time. In those 10 years, I I entitled it ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’. who said, “Lady Di could be bicycling nude, learned so much. giving this book away and nobody would“ ‘It was then that I realised the power of read it.”’ (Laughs) following your intuition. First, I hadn’t set out to teach a course on fear. If I had set And yet, you recovered from that! With the proper tools, out to teach a course on fear, I would have gone to Hunter College where I got my Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I recovered. I think it’s a we can push through undergraduate degree or Columbia University great story for people who are worried about ” all our fears. where I got my Doctorate – I wouldn’t have gone to an unfamiliar place, the New School. rejection. If you feel good about what you are doing and feel it can help the world in I didn’t even know where it was. some way, then push on.’ ‘One day, I was sitting in my office and the thought came into my head “Go down to the ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ was a 13- Many people would have given up at that New School for Social Research.” Where the week course and I taped it. Again, intuition. point. thought came from, I really didn’t know. At the I taped it with a little handheld recorder so I time, I was taking a workshop about intuition, had the whole 13 weeks on tape.’ Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Actually, I did put the which suggested I pay attention to and act book away for a few years. It was in a drawer upon the thoughts that came into my head. And did you then think, ‘Aha, this will be a and one day I was cleaning out the drawer good book’? and I pulled it out – you can see how often ‘I said to myself, “Okay, why should I be I clean my drawers (laughs) – in any case, I going down there? I have no idea – maybe Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes. Later, I tried to sell looked over it and I thought, “This book has they have a great workshop that I should be the book. Boy, that experience taught me something important to say and will help the PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  5. 5. COVER STORY 5 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR Are there still things in your life that you fear? Dr Susan Jeffers Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘When I was a little girl, my parents didn’t have much money. My mother was always telling me that money doesn’t grow on trees. (Laughs) I think I’ve always had a fear about not having money but I think that in my case, it’s been a very positive factor because it’s pushed me out there. I say to myself, “Okay, if I don’t feel the fear and keep pushing the manuscripts out there I’m not going to help people. Nor am I going to be able to earn money.” I’ve used fear in a positive way. ‘Fear is such a common thing. If we could just accept that fear is part of life and then collect the tools to help us push past all our fears, we can all become stronger, more loving people. That’s the key. With the proper tools, we can push through all our fears. ‘One of my own plunging-into-fear things is to take more time off. I’m a workaholic and I am learning to take more time off to relax and play. We’re coming to the UK this summer for a vacation, not to work.’ (Laughs) It’s a nice fear to have to confront. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes but it is fearful. When you are constantly working and you start pulling away, you feel, “Ah, got to get back, got to get back.” It’s just change, something new, that creates the fear. “world so I am going to get it out there.” saved my life”… I think, “Wow, I don’t know The only way to get what it is, but I feel blessed to have been rid of the fear of‘That time I succeeded. I thought later that able to help.”’maybe it wasn’t that the world wasn’t ready doing something isfor it. Maybe in the beginning, I wasn’t ready You survived divorce and later breast ”for it to get out there. When I finally did get cancer and you flourished. What other to go out and do out there, I was ready.’ fearful events have you faced and overcome in your life?What was the reception to it? ‘My husband and I are now working Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I think all of us feel together. It’s wonderful. We have startedDr Susan Jeffers: ‘Oh very, very, very fear almost every day of our lives about our own publishing company, Jeffers Press.positive. People around the world just something or other. Once you realise that We’re not only publishing my books butpicked it up. It’s now in 100 countries, 36 fear isn’t something that will stop you and other people’s books too. Talk about “feelinglanguages and it’s celebrating its twentieth that there are tools to make you feel really the fear and doing it anyway” – it was fearfulyear. I get mail every single day from all over better about yourself and that you can to plunge into a new business, but I’m sothe world and I have to tell you, I sit here in handle whatever life brings you, the fear proud of the books by other people thattears. My husband [media entrepreneur and really doesn’t matter. I’ve had fears about we’ve published so far. I’ve written 18 booksTV producer Mark Shelmerdine] says, “Oh, money, fears about losing people that I love, so that if a new book of mine comes out, Iyou got another fan letter!” fears when I was raising my children … I’ve think, “That’s nice.” But when we published had fears about doing a talk, which was a the wonderful Shortcut to a Miracle, which‘I’ve had people tell me that it saved their big fear, and over the years, I have pushed is a timely book about the Laws of thelives – they were contemplating suicide through that one. What I’ve learned is the Universe, including the Law of Attraction,– and I go to the book and flick through more you do something you are afraid of we went to Chicago for the book launch thatit thinking, “What is in here that would do doing, the less you are afraid of doing it. the two authors had created. It was theirthat?” I think the advice I give is very good. That’s one of my five Fear Truths…the only first book and to be there watching theirObviously, it worked for me so well and I way to get rid of the fear of doing something excitement filled my heart with joy.knew it worked for others but to say, “It is to go out and do it.’ I thought, “That’s fabulous!”’ MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
  6. 6. 6 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARWhat exercises would you recommend We can do our very, very, very best butpeople do when they are confronted by there is so much that we cannot control.fear, perhaps when they are about to One thing we can control is our reactiondeliver a presentation? to whatever happens to us. That gives us incredible power. We have a choice: are weDr Susan Jeffers: ‘On my website going to feel miserable about something[], there’s a booklet that doesn’t go our way or are we going toI composed about affirmations that’s free say, “Okay, this happened. How can I learnto download. I love affirmations. People from it? How can I grow from it? How can Ican use positive affirmations to overcome make it a triumph?” Those three questionsthe negative talk in their heads – the are very powerful. I’ve learned that if you“Chatterbox” I call it. Affirmations are really change your thinking, you can change yourquite incredible. Someone going out on a experience of life.’stage can repeat the affirmation, “Whateverhappens, I’ll handle it.” So it’s about changing your state of mind if you’re feeling worried or scared?‘They could also say “I’m giving my loveaway.” They are giving something away rather Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes. It’s also importantthan expecting something back. That’s a very to “Let go of the outcome.” I don’t meanpowerful one and it means if some people don’t work to do the best you can. First, itlike you, great, if some people don’t, great. helps us to grow to do the very best thatYou’re just giving your love away. we can. If it doesn’t work out the way we want it to – that’s just life. We grow from‘I remember I had to give a talk at Madison it, move on and it’s part of what makes usSquare Gardens and there were thousands strong. For example, my divorce from myand thousands of people in the audience. I first husband… it was very painful but oh,was there with a number of other speakers I learnt from it. It was probably one of theand each of us was to speak for an hour and most enriching parts of my life becausea half. As I was about to walk onto the stage, I decided, “Okay, this has happened. I’mmy husband gave me a big kiss and said, going to become stronger.” And I certainly“You’re going to be the best.” That didn’t did become stronger.feel right so I whispered to him, “Thank you,honey, and I appreciate it, but the next time, ‘In my books, I always combine the twojust tell me I’ll be good enough.” And I felt words “power” and “love” and I think therelief. It’s the competition; the pushing to more confidence we have in ourselves tobe the best rather than just giving away our handle whatever happens, the more lovinglove that makes us anxious and puts us at we become and the less needy we are. Ina disadvantage. If we could all be there just my love book, The Feel The Fear Guide Togiving away our love, that would make us all Lasting Love (Vermillion, 2005) I wrote thatfeel wonderful. neediness is so destructive in love; it’s also so destructive in work and with friends. The‘I love the example of the Broadway actress, more confidence that we have in ourselvesMary Martin, who used to peek at her to handle whatever happens, the more weaudience before she went out on to the stage can love. We can let go of the destructiveand project the words, “I love you… I love emotions of anger, the need to control,you… I love you…” and it would take away jealousy, and so on. We can let go and sayall her fear. Compare that to another actress to ourselves, “Well, I’m going to love. Nowho hadn’t learned this wonderful tool and games. If this person doesn’t return my love,would throw up before every performance.’ I know I can handle it all. There are so many“ beautiful people to love.”’ Surely, being detached from the results encourages a sense of helplessness or Your fear is passiveness about your ability to achieve anything? your workshop.That ties in with your idea of “embracinguncertainty”, of not having expectations ” Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I’m not talking about detachment. You have to allow your pain. When a relationship ends, it’s painful. Allow the tears knowing you will get to the other side. That’s what’s important. It’s not aboutabout the outcome. denial. It’s not pseudo-positive thinking; it’s acknowledging the pain. It’s not the cryingDr Susan Jeffers: ‘I feel expectations of, “No, how can this happen to me?” It’s thefor the most part create so much of our crying of, “Yes, this happened to me and Iunhappiness. Because we’re not in control will make something wonderful out of it.of what happens in the outside world. I will ultimately get to the other side.” PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  7. 7. COVER STORY 7 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR‘You have to learn that whatever happens is people, I think it helps them throughout until it becomes relatively automatic. Thenfor your highest good. There’s a prayer in their lives. learn some more. It’s a life-long latest newsletter which says, “No matterwhat happens in my life, I trust that it’s ‘My friend, Donna Gradstein and I wrote a ‘I was talking to my daughter one day andfor my highest good and no matter what children’s book called I Can Handle It (Jeffers I was complaining about something andhappens in the lives of those I love, I trust Press, 2006) and there are 50 stories about she said, “Mom, go and read your book.”that it’s for their highest good.” You do your little kids facing various problems in their (Laughs) Yes, it’s a lifelong and you let go. That’s not helplessness lives and handling them. On one page is thebecause you cannot control everything out specific problem where the child in the story ‘Learning the art of appreciation is also sothere but you can absolutely control your says, “But I can handle it.” On the opposite important. Strangely, I learnt that when Ireaction to it. You can appreciate and feel page, the child handles it and ends with worked with the poor in Manhattan. So manyblessed with what you have or you can make the words “See, I can handle it. Whatever of them appreciated everything they had inyourself miserable.’ happens, I can handle it.” By the end of the their lives. They were remarkably giving and“ book, the children will have heard or read it was an amazing experience to be with the phrase “I can handle it” 150 times. If the them. parent is reading the book to the child, then I call relationships the parent says the same affirmation ‘I also think it’s important to have “friendly” “I can handle it” 150 times. Powerful for both friends and what I mean by that is not to the greatest parent and child! have “Moan and Groan Society” friends – if you are with people who are always ” workshops going. ‘Repetition is important. You can read a self- complaining, you want to go home and take help book and get a lot out of it but unless a shower. Quite honestly, I dropped the you follow through and use the exercises in friends who were very negative. I used to beWhat have you learnt about courage and your daily life, it’s not going to make much one of them but now that I tend to be a verythe most effective ways of instilling or of a difference. positive person, I love to be with people whounleashing that quality in other people? are also positive and who laugh a lot. There ‘I’ve been teaching this material for 25 years are certainly a lot of them out there and thatDr Susan Jeffers: ‘Courage to me is and I still have affirmations to remind me is wonderful.pushing through fear. There are so many because the internal “Chatterbox” is alwaystools to help us do that, many of which there. Negativity comes into our lives all the ‘I also know that saying “thank you” a lotare included in my books. For example, time, so we need reminders. I wish that they helps you focus on abundance because youexpanding your comfort zone. Every day, did teach confidence at a much earlier age constantly realise how much beauty is injust do a little something that you are a little by simply letting people know that they have your life.’uncomfortable doing because of fear. Do an immense amount of power within them toit because you then expand what you are handle whatever happens.’ How do you suggest a coach bestcomfortable with. That’s very important. supports someone who is facing a fear? What other techniques do you recommend‘Also, never see yourself as a victim. We to help people feel more joyful, happy or Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Don’t let them take thehave to learn to take responsibility for our abundant? role of a victim. Show them that they canreactions to what happens to us in life. We be the creator of their experience. Thathave to use the tools to create a very rich Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Humour is so important. they can handle their reaction to whateverlife so that if something goes bad in one On my desk, I have a statue of a laughing happens to them. In fact, I say in one of myarea there’s a whole other part of our lives Buddha. I might be sitting there lamenting books that if you seek counselling in anythat will sustain us. For example, when my about something and I look at my laughing way and the counsellor supports the victimdaughter was in her twenties, she broke Buddha and realise that he doesn’t care that mentality and says, for example, “Oh youup with somebody and she called me and he’s fat (laughs), he doesn’t go to the gym, poor thing, if only your mother had stayedshe was crying. She was very upset. All of a he doesn’t care that he’s alone or poor… home instead of working” then run away assudden, she stopped crying and said, “Oh he’s happy and he makes me laugh about fast as you can. It’s important to be gratefulI’ve got to go – I’m volunteering today at my situation and put it in perspective. I think that you were fed, you were dressed, andHabitat for Humanity. Bye Mom.” She had laughter is so important. I laugh a lot. you went to school and then move on tosomething meaningful in her life besides her create a beautiful life for yourself. Stoprelationship. So, her life wasn’t empty. ‘You have to learn to laugh, even about using other people as an excuse for living an the serious things in life. For example, I unhappy life.’‘I have tools in all my books – I think in had a mastectomy and I never had a breastEmbracing Uncertainty (Hodder Mobius, reconstruction but I have a prostheses. I joke You talk about creating a ‘wondering’ life2003), there are 42. They are all meant to that my husband is the only one who can instead of a ‘hoping’ life. Is there really agive us strength and from that strength, take his wife’s breasts with him wherever difference?there’s the love. I think that loving yourself he goes. He can put one in his suitcase ifis not about being selfish. It comes from he wants.’ (Laughs) ‘Humour is a very, very Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Oh, yes. Hoping has anunderstanding that you make a difference in important thing. expectation behind it. “I hope I get marriedthe world. That helps us to love. I think that by the time I’m 30.” If you say, “I wonderwhen people don’t do good things – certain ‘I think commitment to learn the tools, to if I’ll be married by the time I’m 30” youpoliticians, for example – it’s because they use them in your life every single day is become the observer. You’re watching yourdon’t understand how important they are important. Someone said to me, “You know, life and you’re not caught up in the this world. The point is the more we I read and I read and nothing takes.” I said, You have the understanding that whateverunderstand we make a difference, the better “Nothing takes until you take it. You have to happens, you’ll handle it. I see a hugewe behave. When you teach that to young take one exercise that you love and use it difference between the two.’ MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
  8. 8. 8 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR That sounds like a Buddhist teaching. Is that ‘It took me years to decide to leave my job, form of contentment gene within them that something that has influenced your life? which was such a wonderful, successful job, allows them to do that and that’s beautiful. but I felt I wasn’t growing any more. I’d been Everyone is different, just as with parenting: Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes, it has. I love there eight years and it was time to move I know there are women who love it. I the Buddhist philosophy among other on. It took me two years to become ready tease my son that he’s responsible for my philosophies. I’m not a religious person. to do that. I remember they had given me a Bachelor’s Degree, my Master’s Degree, and I am a spiritual person and by that, I mean 10th anniversary party and I felt bad because my Ph.D.… (laughing) anything to get out of all the tools that I create or have learnt are I knew the day was going to come when the house. There are people who are content about moving from the weakest part of who I would leave. A couple of months later, I with it; I just wasn’t. It was fearful going I am to the strongest, most loving part of woke up one morning and I knew it was the back to school. But I did it anyway. It’s all who I am. That to me is a spiritual process. day to do it. about learning and growing – we’re all on a It’s to live as much as you can in the arena journey and we do our best to take what’s of the Higher Self, the best of who you are. ‘You have to trust yourself, ask your in our lives and do something creative and I have a vision of a light, an energy that we subconscious mind what’s the best step to loving with it.’ can tune into which can guide us. What I take and then forget about it. Automatically believe so much about intuition is tuning you seem to move into the right direction if What advice would you give someone who into the energy that draws you to what is you have trust in yourself. is struggling with fear? Is it worth ‘taking best for your life.’ the plunge’? ‘I was fine when I did let go and I resigned When you confront fears, do you believe from my job. I had saved a lot of money. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘At your own pace. Your in jumping in headfirst or dipping your I had met the man who would become my fear is your workshop. If you’re afraid of toe in the water? second husband and I moved to England to leaving the house and getting a job, that’s be with him. I was there for three years. That your workshop and so you have to learn the Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Whatever works for was where I originally tried to sell my first tools that help to do it. you as a human being. There are no rules. book. Nobody over there was into self-help Whenever somebody says they have THE at the time. I come and speak there now and ‘Everything in our lives can teach us answer, I’m suspicious. In Embracing I have to tell you there is such a dramatic something. I think if we can see it that way Uncertainty, I talk about the whole concept difference in the openness of the people in it really helps: what lessons am I going to of “I don’t know”. We don’t know anything the UK. When I was there originally, there learn? For example, I call relationships the for sure – it is all based on our experience, were no self-help books, just psychology greatest workshops going. As I explain in our learning, but it could change. I talk books by Freud, Jung and so on. The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love, if a about using the word “maybe” in Embracing problem comes up in a relationship, don’t Uncertainty. So you say, “This is the best way ‘When I couldn’t sell my book, I said to my be upset. It’s a great opportunity! Say to to do it… maybe.” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. partner (now husband), “You know, I love yourself, “This is something I have to work you but I’m leaving. I have to go back to the on within me.” Pick up the mirror instead ‘As a coach, it’s important to understand United States where they’re more open to of the magnifying glass [to look at yourself that. You give people tools and they move self-help books.” Thankfully, he moved with rather than the other person]. “What is it forward at their own pace. Before I divorced me – he was a television producer – he’d about me that can be changed? Do I need my first husband, it took me two years to produced I Claudius and other wonderful to get out of the relationship? Do I need have a readiness and I think unconsciously television shows. So, we moved to Los to react differently to certain things that I was doing little things to prepare myself Angeles. The book sold within the year. There are happening? Do I need to become more – making new friends, getting new interests was energy behind it. My new agent loved it.’ loving?” “ – so by the time I decided I was going to get divorced, I was ready. When you made a commitment to it then“ it sold? Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Exactly. Commitment You have to trust yourself. ” and readiness. Afterwards, when Mark If a problem moved over to the US to be with me, we got comes up, it’s married. Our relationship is phenomenal. I feel so blessed. My daughter came to me not bad: it’s just on her wedding day and she looked at Mark ‘If a problem comes up, it’s not bad: it’s and me and said, “Thank you for showing us just your clue that something needs to be your clue that what love looks like.”’ learned. To me, that’s a powerful way to go something needs Is fear a guide to someone’s life purpose? through life.’ ” to be learned. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Very often. First, every FURTHER INFORMATION time you try something new you’re going to experience fear. The things we want the For more information about the work ‘People say, “I don’t know why I can’t leave most are often the things we most fear of Dr Susan Jeffers and to receive her my husband/wife, it’s a bad relationship.” approaching. We just have to learn the tools monthly newsletter, please visit her The answer is, “It’s because you’re not for pushing through it. website at ready.” What you have to do as a coach is to *Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® by provide more and more tools to help people ‘Some people are very happy in a very Susan Jeffers, 20th anniversary edition, become stronger. One day, they will be laid back life and they don’t need to push published in 2007 by Vermillion. ready… maybe. (Laughs) through things. They must have some PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  9. 9. REVIEWS 9 BOOK REVIEWSBOOK REVIEW BOOK REVIEW BOOK REVIEWThe Trainer’s Toolkit Excellence in Coaching – The Industry The One Moment Master– Bringing Brain- Guide Edited by John Passmore (Kogan (Stillness for PeopleFriendly Learning Page, 2006) on the Go) by MartinTo Life Boroson (Rider, Randomby Kimberley Hare Books and reports about ‘best practice’ House Group, 2007).and Larry Reynolds run the danger of being bought but never Reviewed by Diana(Crown House read and whose real usefulness doesn’t Theodores, PhD.Publishing, 2005) extend beyond propping up wonky tables. Worthy but dull. Thankfully, this Martin Boroson invites usIf you are involved is NOT one of those dust-gatherers… on a step-by-step discoveryin training others it’s crammed with cutting-edge ideas about being in the momentand want to make in the field of workplace coaching that and the profoundlyyour programmes, will be useful for student coaches and empowering imprint forworkshops or seminars established practitioners alike. living this offers. Themore engaging and effective, subtitle of the book, Stillness forthen get this book. It explains in a lively, It has contributions from coaching People on the Go provides the clue to thefun way how brain-friendly learning industry figures including Anthony Grant, heart of the content: this is a book about(accelerated learning) works and then John Whitmore, Ian McDermott, Graham how to achieve the remarkable benefits ofprovides practical advice on how to Alexander, Cary Cooper, Katherine Tulpa, meditation in as short a time as possible.incorporate it into your training. Peter Hawkins, Michael Neenan, Alex Szabo, Phillipe Rosinski, Carol Wilson, He understands our plight – that because weBrain-friendly learning, say the authors, Allard de Jong, Hetty Einzig, Frank are tyrannised by time and obsessed with timeis not about techniques and gimmicks Bresser, Maria Alicia Pena and Geoffrey management we therefore imagine ourselvesand putting on a bit of baroque music or Abbot, and covers an overview of as time poor. He posits that meditation isplaying fun games. It’s a movement to coaching, coaching within organisations, not about how long we need to be still or torecover the real joy of learning – ethics, supervision and organisational exercise transcendental prowess but rather,combining sizzle with substance – issues as well as how short a time it can take us to be aware,and helping people become even more practical information receptive and fully alive to the moment.outstanding at the work they have on running achosen to do. coaching practice. With a constantly supportive, down to earth The book also and witty voice, he eases us into the benefits contains information of meditation (such as calmness, self- on behavioural awareness, clarity of thought, compassion,WHAT DO YOU THINK? coaching, solution- radiance and energy) in just the time it takesHave you read a personal development book, focused coaching, to inhale and exhale – a moment.listened to an audio programme or attended NLP coaching,a seminar and want to share your views on transpersonal So how can we be in the moment? Borosonit? Tell us what you did or didn’t like and coaching, integrative takes us through a sequence of practicalwhether you’d recommend it. We can withholdyour name and details if you prefer. Email: coaching and inter- exercises, beginning with what he calls cultural coaching. ‘basic minute’ meditation and culminating in one ‘moment’. Along the way, we experience ‘the portable minute’, ‘the energisingTHE MIND GYM minute’, ‘the surprise minute’, and ‘the bonus minute’. I have started using someFive ways to create your own luck by The Mind Gym of the exercises and concepts from this book with clients in performance coaching 1. Be proactive. Don’t wait for things to happen. sessions as well as in group programmes Go out and seize the opportunities. in communication, presenting and leading 2. Talk to people. The more information you gather the teams. The relaxed receptivity that results in more likely you are to find that lucky break. People ‘being present’ and being ‘in the moment’ need to know what you are looking for in order to tell transforms anxiety into curiosity and fears of you where it is. being in the spotlight into a state of genuine 3. View failure as a way to learn – many great people dialogue and participation with others. have learnt through a range of mistakes. 4. Don’t dwell on past misfortunes. Engulf yourself in The beauty of this book is its simplicity and positive vibes – if you think of yourself as unlucky it the premise that we have everything we need is likely to come true. ‘Luckily’ this works the other right here and right now to wake up. way around too. 5. Share your good luck. Congratulate others who contributed. I’ve read The One Moment Master a few If people think they will gain from your good luck then they times now and it delights and instructs me will be more inclined to make it happen again. more with each reading. It is a cool, wise, and reassuring touch on our furrowed andGive your mind a workout and visit The Mind Gym for tips, effortful collective brow.information and techniques at MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
  10. 10. 10 PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU FEEL HAPPY NOW Feel Happy Now You can feel happy whatever your The solutions he discovered he now shares happiness when a particular condition or circumstances, so says Michael with thousands of people around the world, state is reached (when we have X amount Neill, author, radio host, Master NLP through his books, radio show, teachings in our savings account, are with the man or Trainer and the man Paul McKenna and private coaching. woman of our dreams, are a certain body weight, or our favourite sports team is at the describes as ‘the finest Success Coach ‘I have refined these solutions with my top of the league or whatever else we decide in the world today’. He talks about students and clients over the past 16 must happen before we allow ourselves to happiness, success and coaching. years and tested each one of them in the feel ‘happy’). By Marie-Louise Cook. laboratory of my experience. Over that time, I have become happier and happier,’ he says ‘If all there was to happiness was getting at the beginning of his latest book, Feel what you wanted, the richest and most Michael Happy Now (Hay House, 2007). outwardly successful people in our society would be the happiest,’ he says. ‘But it only Neill The reason many of us never get to experience happiness on a regular basis (or takes a quick glance through the pages of today’s newspapers before you are reading even at all) is that we’ve been looking in the about the latest miserable millionaire or wrong place, chasing a ‘thing’ that doesn’t celebrity scandal. The reality is simply this: To write books about how to ‘have what you actually exist. your happiness does not depend on getting want’ and how to ‘feel happy now’ is a bold or having what you want.’ move, especially when the author confesses ‘Happiness is the process of creating and he spent most of his teenage years on a experiencing good feelings in your body The second myth is that is impossible to manic-depressive rollercoaster ride that and mind, moment by moment,’ he says. be happy in certain circumstances. ‘While came close to an abrupt suicidal end on at ‘When you recognise happiness as a process, it may or may not be possible to be happy“ least one occasion. not a thing, you realise you can do it or not do it, you can get better at it, and you can ultimately master it.’ When you recognise His book is about ‘unreasonable happiness’, happiness as a process... your ability to feel happy not only when you realise you can do it something wonderful happens (you get a promotion, win the lottery, and fall in love or not do it, you can get with the man or woman of your dreams) but better at it, and you can also when something not so great happens ” (you lose the job, have no money and are ultimately master it. dumped by that special person). Its aim is to help you to become happier – to feel more good feelings and to be more comfortable That he climbed unaided out of that morass with the bad ones. of self-inflicted misery and is now a huge success – coach to a bunch of Hollywood One of the three great stars and top CEOs, author of two best-selling myths surrounding books*, host of a weekly radio show with over ‘happiness’ is that 60,000 listeners, and the trainer of future we will only NLP practitioners alongside Paul McKenna experience and NLP’s founder, Richard Bandler – is surely proof enough that the techniques he discovered in his quest for happiness do work. As a miserable teenager, it would have been so easy to accept a chemical cocktail of prescribed happiness – the hospital staff were very willing to do the honours – but thankfully he made the decision to look for other ways to feel better. PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  11. 11. PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU 11 FEEL HAPPY NOWall the time, it is certainly possible to behappy at any time,’ says Michael. ‘In fact, Question & Answer Session Michael Neill: ‘You’ve just hit on theeach one of those situations you think of as fundamental myth of coaching. Coaching‘making’ you unhappy is simply an area of Personal Success: How do you define is not therapy. Coaching is not saying, “I’myour life in which you think that it would be coaching? broken, fix me.” Coaching is saying, “I wantinappropriate to feel happy (for example, at more.” So you’re saying I shouldn’t havea funeral) or that feeling happy would be in Michael Neill: ‘I can define coaching in a Happiness Coach because I’m alreadysome way bad for you.’ the two questions I ask all my clients in a happy? If I never, ever, ever was stuck then dozen different ways nearly every time we maybe it wouldn’t make sense to have aThe third myth is that unhappiness is good for speak… Question One: What do you want? coach but if there’s a situation where I’mus. ‘When we start to justify our bad feelings Question Two: What stops you? stuck, to be able to have someone to coachas being good for us (or worse still, our me and half an hour later not be stuckgood feelings as being bad for us), we keep ‘If we want to be able to create more of that’s really cool. Sometimes somebodyourselves stuck in a self-fulfilling rut. Ironically, what we want in our lives, it is incredibly else is better suited to help than I am. Thatthe state of discomfort most of us put important to begin by identifying what it is trusting myself.ourselves into to better deal with our problems is. As I say in my book, You Can Have Whatis the worst possible state in which to deal You Want, “When you get really clear and ‘One of the misunderstandings of thewith them. Like pouring fuel on a fire, meeting honest about what you want, everything in coaching world is that you’re supposeddifficulties with anger, fear and sadness tends the Universe conspires to help you get it.”’ to get to a point where you don’t needto make things more, well difficult.’ coaching any more. No, with therapy I“ Do you have a coach? think you should get to a point where you don’t need it any more because it’s about Michael Neill: ‘I have three or four at all taking something that’s not working and Your happiness times. They change according to what making it work. I love having a team that’s there for me when I need it. When I don’t I want to work on and what I want to does not depend on develop. At the moment, I’m working need them, I don’t use them.’ with Steve Chandler, who is a best-selling getting or having author in his own right (The Story of You) How long have you been coaching? what you want. ” and has done that whole circuit which is the world that I’m beginning to move Michael Neill: ‘I started coaching in the into. I hired him because I want to work sense that I called it ‘coaching’ in 1996. with somebody who’s gone through what Before that, I was doing therapy, which I didThe Formula For Happiness I’m going through so there’s an element from 1990. I have been acting since I was a of mentorship as well as coaching. He’s kid. I came to England to go to drama schoolTo feel happy now and whenever you want also somebody who when I tell him what’s in 1987. I started acting professionally infor the rest of your life, you need to give going on with me, doesn’t go, “Oh my 1990 and acted full-time actually.’yourself better feelings, tell yourself better God, really? That’s so cool. How do I getstories and act on your inner knowing, he that?” He’s already a little further down Did you do an NLP course?says. ‘The better you feel, the better stories that path from tend to tell yourself about your life. The Michael Neill: ‘I did every NLP course I couldbetter stories you tell yourself about your ‘I have a Spiritual Coach named Peter find. The thing is I wasn’t doing it to becomelife, the easier it is to do what you know is Fenner and a (for lack of a better word) a coach or therapist or anything.right for you. The more you do what you Integrity Coach named Bill Cumming. It’s I did it because I was absolutely messed up inknow is right for you, the better you feel. interesting not only for myself but how I the head and NLP was the first thing I came can bring the essence of what they do – in across that really helped me – I was not a‘Whatever we do consistently, we get better non-threatening ways – into the work that I happy guy. I had no reason to be which madeat. If we practise anger, we get better at do with clients. it worse. I used to beat myself up about it, being angry. If we practise shutting down “Oh you’ve got no reason. You should just get our emotions, we get better at feeling ‘I also occasionally do one-on-one sessions over it. Your life is fine.” But I was horribly, depressed. And if we practise with people who’ve proven to be useful horribly depressed and paranoid. giving ourselves better as touchstones over the years – one’s a feelings, telling ourselves Happiness Coach named Mandy Evans ‘I always thought of the teaching and better stories and acting and one is a Psychic Coach named Lynn therapy as a sort of filling in between acting on our inner knowing, Robinson. jobs and then in 1995, I worked 365 days we will get better as an actor on stage, radio and television, and better at feeling ‘It’s all grist for the mill. The more I learn, and I really missed teaching and working happy.’ the more I can then share with clients.’ with people. That was when I decided to become a coach. I still acted but it was no Why do you have a Happiness Coach? longer the day job – I do both now. In your book, You Can Have What You Want, you say, ‘I’m in the business of ‘When I moved to the States [to pursue having a wonderful life…’ From that, I an acting career], I continued to do both would have thought you would already – I did a TV pilot, I did some cartoons be happy. (Scooby Doo) – then I just hit a point where MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
  12. 12. 12 PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU FEEL HAPPY NOW I realised I wasn’t getting the same buzz problems but as it happens, it was slightly ‘wonderful life’ thing is the one thing that off acting that I used to. By then I loved less interesting to me because it wasn’t all of my clients want but they define that being in Hollywood, I loved working with my world. This is my world – I remember completely differently.’ Hollywood folk, so it made sense for me driving through one of the canyons in to be in LA in a different way. I still do Hollywood and a client phoning me and What do you do when someone is stuck voiceovers and act from time to time, I saying, “I’ve got a meeting with [film and refuses to move on? did some a couple of weeks ago, but I director Steven] Spielberg tomorrow, don’t chase it anymore. If it comes and if can you come and help me prep?” I was Michael Neill: ‘If they already had it I’m interested, I’ll take it.’ so happy whereas when I was mostly together, most of them wouldn’t have working with business clients, I’d get a hired me. It’s like people shouldn’t run Do you use NLP in your coaching? call, “We’ve got a merger meeting with ‘Procrastination’ workshops and expect IBM tomorrow, come and help us prep” people to turn up on time; people Michael Neill: ‘Yes, funnily enough I and I’d go, “Sure.” It’s the same thing but shouldn’t run ‘From Poverty to Wealth’ wouldn’t necessarily say it’s even the one of them was glamorous, exciting and workshops and expect people to not dominant mode. Sometimes when fun and the other one was okay. hassle them about payment. people first talk to me and they know my background, there is a tendency for them ‘It still is – I still work with people in ‘Many of my clients are extremely to think, “Oh, he’s going to see inside my business. They’ve told me the thing they comfortable and they want me because brain every time we speak.” If something’s like about me is that I’m not impressed. they want more or because they want me up and that’s an appropriate thing to do I don’t work with anyone who at some on their team. It’s not like a surprise if then of course I’ll do that – everything I point isn’t willing to face that. I don’t they are stuck.’ do is informed by that skillset but it’s not pretend – it doesn’t work. It’s less a moral necessarily the primary technique I use. stance than a practical one. Lying doesn’t What would your client have to do or get you very far and lying to your coach, not do for you to fire them? ‘I had a client this week who said, “Look, which everyone does, is a great way to I know we normally talk about business stay stuck. Michael Neill: ‘If they’re continuously but I’m scared to get in the car. I wound saying one thing and doing another and up driving to this business meeting at 30 ‘I got two emails last night from clients I’ve called them on it and it hasn’t shifted, miles an hour because I was so freaked. – one from the States and one from at that point, I say, “Okay, I’m not up for Can we work on that?” So, we did that so Denmark just coming clean about stuff. this.” It’s not even, “Call me when you get she could drive to her meetings. That’s All I had said on the phone was, “There’s it together” – it’s that I have better things fine – it’s just part of the service.’ clearly something else going on. If and to do with my life. I really do. when you’re ready to talk about it, it’s“ probably worth it.” ‘Very few people can stay stuck if you’re willing to confront them. If I’m willing ‘I had an idea what the problems were and to say to somebody, “Look, clearly your This idea of not as it happens, I was right but boom, they husband is cheating on you and you’re giving advice comes went there and now we can really start. not willing to look at that – I don’t care but it seems to be getting in the way of from some bizarre ‘We get so used to putting the right face us talking about your relationship. Do you idea that your clients out but usually that’s what’s getting in want to talk about this or not?” At that the way of us getting anywhere.’ point, they either tell me to get lost or are so pathetic and they tell me the truth or a little bit of the helpless that if you How long do your clients stay working truth. with you? tell them what to do ‘I think the worse advice coaches get is ” they have to do it. Michael Neill: ‘I’ve been coaching some people for years and years and years, to not give advice. It amuses me no end because that’s like saying, “Okay, I want but on average it’s three months to a you to go in and fight but I want you to year. That’s because of the way that tie one arm behind your back.” I work: in the short term, it’s more Are the problems your famous clients intensive with regularly scheduled calls ‘What I do think is great advice is this: have any different from those of but after that a lot of people like to keep don’t expect your clients to follow your ‘normal’ people? me on their team the way they keep advice. I don’t give advice because I think a lawyer on the team. They pay me a my clients should follow it – I give advice Michael Neill: ‘Human beings are human retainer and use me when they need me because I think it’s going to provoke a beings, they want to be happy, they want and it works for them and for me. response – and that response may be to great relationships, they want to have tell me to “f*** off” – which is great – or more than enough money, they want ‘I’ve always had a couple of very simple it may be, “That fits with what I’ve been to feel successful, to be admired. When criteria for whom I coach. I have to look thinking” or it may be to say, “What do I was primarily working with business forward to talking to them each week you think about this?” To not be allowed executives, it was the same set of and they have to be able to pay me. The to give advice, that’s weird.’ PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
  13. 13. PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU 13 FEEL HAPPY NOWHow much do you charge? to do it. No they don’t. They’ll do exactly to help you clarify your thinking. Where what the hell they want to do. And if you it stops being useful is when you startMichael Neill: ‘I charge US$7,500 treat them like people who are capable staying up nights thinking, “I don’ta quarter (about £3,800). That’s for 12 and able, guess what, they are. know – is this person my niche? Youweeks of coaching. Usually I’ll do some know, I’d love to work with them but Ilonger sessions in the first week or ‘Don’t be afraid to love them. That’s a lot can’t because they’re not in my niche.”two so we can get to know each other of what makes human interaction work. It’s that point where it becomes the newand build momentum, and then go to It’s okay. There’s nothing weird in that, rule. It would be a shame to not work witha weekly half-hour session. I’m also there’s nothing wrong in that. If somebody your perfect client because they didn’t fitavailable by email and for extra phone loves you and you know it, and somebody your ‘perfect client profile’.check-ins as needed. My point of view is believes in you and you know it, you’rethat you hire me to be available when you going to walk through walls for them. So, ‘On our Coach Mastery Workshop, myneed me. That’s not to say I’m going to do it. If you prefer being bullied – do it. friend Michele Lisenbury Christensenbe at your beck and call but if between I will bully the hell out of my clients but and I identified about 40 strategies thatsessions something comes up and you it’s in context of loving kindness and in a coaches can use to build a practice thatreally need a chat, call me. If I can’t talk context of, I know they can do it. Do I ever are completely different depending onto you, I won’t. That’s the deal I have. get that wrong? I’m sure I do and they’ll what the person’s skillset is. We say, “IfIt’s a retainer. If somebody abused that usually say, “Ouch” and I’ll stop. you like doing these kinds of things, thisand started calling all the time, then is a good strategy for you. If you don’t,I probably wouldn’t work with them ‘It’s not rocket science – let them be the this is a crap strategy for you.”anymore but none of my clients ever expert on their own life but don’t denyhave. I want to be a part of their success your own expertise. ‘Somebody will go, “Oh they did it thatand so being accessible is part of the fun way, I have to do it that way. Oh, theyof it. ‘With a good coach, you can create networked. I hate networking but let something amazing. If you can keep me try and like it and become good at it those two things alive at the same time, because it works.” No, networking works‘I also do a yearly retainer at US$25,000 that it’s all about the client and they’ve for people who like networking. It’s a(£12,500) for ongoing clients and got all the resources, but if you’re good at bloody nightmare for everyone else. I hateface-to-face breakthrough sessions for what you do then they’re going to be able it. I was about to say, “I wouldn’t go to aUS$3,000/US$5,000 (£1,500/£2,500) to do so much more with those resources network evening even if you paid me” – Idepending on the amount of time and the when they work with you than before probably would go if you paid me but Inumber of people involved. Those tend they worked with you. That to me is the would never go if you didn’t. That’s notto be more directly NLP-based, and have perfect balance.’ my thing. I love radio. I do a radio show.been proving extremely popular since I Is it marketing? Probably technically itmade them available.’ In a way, you have the ultimate niche is. Do I think of it as marketing? Heck“ combining acting and coaching. no, I do a radio show. I write a tip. Is it marketing? Technically, sure. Do I do Michael Neill: ‘That’s how it looks from it because it’s marketing? No, I do it If we practise the outside. The problem with saying that because I like to do it.’ is there’s going to be a whole load of giving ourselves people who will read that and go, “Okay, So again, it’s not about following the better feelings, what’s the perfect niche for me? I must rules but following your heart? find one. Let me find a Niche-Finding telling ourselves Coach.” I just do what I love and it’s Michael Neill: ‘Absolutely but taking that better stories and turned out that a lot of my clients work in out of the realm of, “Oh that’s pretty, the entertainment industry now. I never American and twee” and into the realm of acting on our inner went looking for a perfect niche. I went “No, it just works. I make a lot of money knowing, we will get following what was in my heart. That’s doing what I do because I follow my the thing, the difference, in the way I heart.” Don’t do it my way unless my way better and better at work.’ happens to perfectly work for you.’ ” feeling happy. And that’s really the essence of your FURTHER INFORMATION books, isn’t it? Visit Michael Neill’s website atWhat advice do you have for other Michael Neill: ‘Yeah. Don’t follow some and listencoaches? abstract idea of what you’re supposed to his radio programme by visiting to want thinking it will get you what you Neill: ‘Don’t treat your clients really want.’like little babies. This idea of not givingadvice comes from some bizarre idea that Is looking for a niche wrong then? *You Can Have What You Want by Michaelyour clients are so pathetic and helpless Neill (Hay House, 2006) and Feel Happythat if you tell them what to do they have Michael Neill: ‘No, it’s a useful process Now by Michael Neill (Hay House, 2007). MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS