The life of Artie M Everette


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It's been one year ago today that I lost the most precious person in my life to Cancer. I miss you Mother just as much today as I did last year. I Love You! This has been created for my brothers and myself but you are welcome to view

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The life of Artie M Everette

  2. 2. I REMEMBER <ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My mom being the most beautiful, kindhearted, unselfish, tender woman you could ever know </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>That she made things work out when the world was sitting heavy on her shoulders as a single mom </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My brothers and I being the center of her world and what she lived for </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Back in the 70’s when she brought five (5) bicycles at one time for my brothers and I (not knowing until I was grown that she had them on layaway and would put $5 and $10 when she could until they were paid off which took almost a year) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>When I was going to Drill team practice her not having 10¢ to give me to buy an icee while walking to practice </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>People thinking I was the baby of the family because I was always sitting on her lap or up under her </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Staying home from school and her taking me to Howard Johnson’s restaurant for lunch (which was a setup because I had to go to school the next day) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>When the first of the month came and she got her foodstamps she would give each of us $5 to buy whatever goodies we wanted from the grocery store </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Us walking from Foodtown with her pushing the shopping cart loaded with groceries (even in the snowy, winter weather) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>When she did have a car, loading us all up telling us were going to get lost (which was driving down the highway, getting off any random exit making lefts and rights until we didn’t know where we were) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Always seeing a sign pointing us back to Newark…LOL </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her packing us all up into the Rambler (which was her station wagon car at the time) and taking us to the drive-in movie theater in Newark </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing the Clint Eastwood theme song if she threw something at one of the boys who tried to run…(do do do do do…do do do)…LOL </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her not being able to afford the snacks they sold at the drive-in so she would pack her own bags full of goodies (bologna and cheese sandwiches, chips, cookies, cans of soda, etc) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Always saying “I wonder how she knew I was doing that” and thinking my mom could see through floors and walls </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her taking us on the NY trains to go to Coney Island Amusement Park </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Being on Rose Street and seeing her at the top of the block walking from the bus stop and running at my fastest speed to meet her and help her carry whatever it was she had in her hands </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The day she moved my grandmother into our house at 293 Rose St over 40 yrs ago </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her taking me to the laundry mat next to Foodtown to wash clothes </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>How happy she was when she was able to afford her own washing machine for our house </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her teaching me how to wash clothes and hang them on the clothes line outside to dry in the warm summer weather </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her always making our schoolwork into a song so it would be easier for us to remember how to do it </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her sitting on her front porch while her best friend (Johnnie Lee) (Ms. Lee) to all the neighborhood kids, would sit on her porch two houses over and just chat in the summertime </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her getting dressed up to go out with her girlfriends, Ms. Lee, Marie and the other Ms Everett (without the e) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her getting dressed up on New Year’s Eve to go out to a party and looking so pretty with the princess tiara on her head and me saying “I can’t wait until I grow up so I can wear it and look just like her” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her singing the song by Doris Day to me, “When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be, will I be pretty, will I be rich here’s what she said to me, Que sera sera, what ever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see Que sera sera… </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her carrying me asleep to my bed until I was just to long and heavy for her to do it </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting between her legs while she combed my hair </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her coming to look for me the day I told her I had to use the bathroom while getting my hair combed (I went to my bed and fell asleep) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The sound of her voice as she called our names in one breath (Roger, Timmy, Stevie, Lisa, John) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Going with her to the bowling alley while she bowled on her league </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her not ever getting tired of her house being the house that all the kids hung out at </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her taking in a strays that always found it’s way onto our porch </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her letting my girlfriends spend the night with me (although they lived two doors over) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>During Christmas, her taking us on the bus to the store Great Eastern in Maplewood in a snow storm to pick up gifts (where Home Depot is now located) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Playing outside so long in the snow that I think I had frost bite on my fingers and toes but always wanting to be the first one in the house so I got the cuddling by her…(she would bundle me up in a blanket on the couch and rub my fingers and toes until the feeling came back)…and give me hot chocolate </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her sitting in the window with us playing my car as we hear a car driving up the street </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>How happy she was when she became a grandmother for the very first time </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her always having my oldest son with her when I lived at home </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her staying outside until it was dark (long after I got frustrated and gave up) teaching my oldest son how to ride a two wheeler because he was determined to get it </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her always having Ciera, Shawn and Lil John and helping them to make tails, whiskers and claws out of paper to be animals </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her bringing my brothers and I with her to Essex County College sitting us in the lounge while she took her classes because she had no one to watch us </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Driving to Two Guys (on the highway) as my brothers and I named it to go clothes shopping </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her always catching the train to my house because she said “she didn’t want to bother me” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her at my wedding in the Bahamas and how happy and free she was to be able to enjoy such beauty </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: Her always taking my twins on Friday nights so I can hang out with my friends and never telling me “No, I’m just too tired tonight” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her being my riding partner on every outing with the twins </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Calling her up daily and chatting with her whenever something was going on, when I just needed to talk, just to say hi or to say “ I Love You Mother” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>How tickled she was the day my friend’s GPS unit (Lily) got them lost on the way to my daughters Cheerleading competition </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her linking everything not working properly or doing something silly after that was doing a Lily </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Getting a phone call from my brother when my plane landed from NC telling me that Mommy was in the hospital because she was having stomach problems (March 22, 2010) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her asking me the symptoms I had when I had to have my Gall Bladder Laparoscopy surgery </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Spending everyday in the hospital with her for the duration that she was there </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The day I walked into the hospital and she told me she had Cancer (April 14, 2010) </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Picking her up from the hospital when the Dr. discharged her the first time </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Taking her to her chemotherapy session but her being too weak to endure it </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Going to sit with her at her house as I did everyday when she was home to make sure she ate and was comfortable </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Finding her at home in a diabetic coma unresponsive to me and not knowing what to do except call 911 </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting in the emergency room crying every time someone had to ask me what happened </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Bringing my laptop with me while I sat there talking to you even though you were in a coma and not responding to me </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Roger drove from NC and he and I walked into the hospital room and she spoke to us and asked for something to drink </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Asking the nurse for some water for my mom and her telling me she’s not awake…she will choke </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Telling the nurse that she is awake and talking to my brother and me </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Holding the straw in the cup of water while she sipped it </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Being there everyday with my brothers, hoping and praying that she get better and that we could take her home </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My brother telling her to eat so she can get her strength up so we can take her home </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing her say to us “ You promise ” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Her never, ever complaining about her diagnosis and/or the pain she was feeling </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Telling the Drs to give her pain medication so she would at least feel comfortable and able to sleep more than 10 minutes </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The uncontrollable tears when I walked into that ICU to find that Respirator pumping her chest up and down breathing for her </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting in that hospital room watching with swollen, tear drenched eyes while the nurses tried to find a pulse on my mother </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: The confusion I felt when the Drs asked us if we wanted to do a Do Not Resuscitate because the pushing on her chest if they needed to restart her heart would probably crack her ribs </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Through tear soaked eyes asking for them to give us some time to think things over </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The moment my brothers and I finally decided that we would do the DNR </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling my heart pounding in my chest if the phone rang in the middle of the night </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The hospital calling me to tell me they put her on life support </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>That final phone call from the Dr at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center at 3:27 am telling me that my mom had passed away </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Pitifully asking the Dr…”Well, what am I supposed to do now” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Him telling me the things I needed to do like it was something he did everyday </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting there in shock sobbing hard unable to move </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Numbly walking down my stairs at home in an oblivious fog to tell my oldest brother Roger that the most important woman in our lives had died </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Vaguely calling my youngest brother and best friend to tell them the news </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Seeing my brother dial the phone number of our last sibling to tell him too </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: My best friend Lisa of over 33 years doing so much to keep me strong while also comforting me as she helped me conduct the business of laying my mother to eternal rest </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting in that funeral home giving the director insurance papers and money to pay for her burial </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The many sheets and sheets of crumpled up paper I tossed in the trash trying to write her obituary </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The nervous breakdown I had trying to write her obituary for her home going service </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My friend telling me to stop trying to write it from your head and write it from your heart…and that’s when it just seemed to flow </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Not knowing where I was going to get the strength to go on </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Not knowing how to tell my children that Nana had died </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Getting dressed in that all black dress on May 11, 2010 </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The day the limousine picked me up from my house to bring me to the church to say my final physical goodbye to my mother </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Sitting in the church pews not wanting to be there but unable to leave </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>So many people hugging me and telling me how sorry they were </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing the sobs and seeing the tears run down my brothers faces </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My uncle-in-law reading the words written on that piece of paper that poured from my heart </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Seeing her in the beautiful dress my grandmother gave to me to send her home </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing the song Celebrate my Life played and my friend Gerald singing so beautifully for my mother’s home going </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing the names spoken of my friend who showed up at the service and the comfort that I felt knowing they were there </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>The kindness of my friend Manny for donating the food, drinks and all things needed for her repast </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Pulling the blanket up on her chest to tuck her in while lying there in that beautiful casket that I picked out for her </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Turning the handle on the casket lowering her to a resting position </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Getting the lock to that powdered champagne pink colored casket </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>A pain so deep inside my heart that I didn’t think it would ever go away </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>My brothers telling me and everyone that they were so thankful for me handling everything </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Everyone telling me how beautiful the service was </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Crying out to God and asking him “Why”, “Why did you have to take the most important woman in my life”, Asking “Why he couldn’t just leave her here much longer” because I needed her, my brothers needed her, her mother needed her and our children needed her to still be in our lives with us </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Constantly crying out to her and talking to her asking her “Mommy, how am I suppose to go on without you here with me” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Praying for strength, comfort and understanding </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Hearing God tell me that he makes “ NO MISTAKES ” </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Telling him, I know God that you don’t make mistakes, but I am only human and it hurts so deeply </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Shutting out my friends for days/weeks at a time to be alone </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Not wanting to be around anyone because I didn’t want to be happy </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Still picking up the phone, dialing her number to talk to her </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Refusing to cancel her cell phone account so I can dial her number and still hear her voice and talk to her </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: Being jealous of people who still have their mothers in their lives </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Still trying to participate in happy times at my house although I wanted everyone to just get out of my yard and go home </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Still crying at a moments notice when I think of her not being here with me </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER: </li></ul><ul><li>Laughing again ! and understanding that YOU, MOM are now home with your loving Father and no longer hurting and suffering from the Cancerous cells that invaded your body! </li></ul><ul><li>I REMEMBER </li></ul><ul><li>YOUR LOVING ARMS AROUND ME, YOUR TENDER LIPS KISSING MY CHEEKS, YOUR GENTLE TOUCH SOOTHING MY HURTS, YOUR ENCOURAGING WORDS TEACHING AND GUIDING ME, YOUR LISTENING EARS HEARING WHAT I HAD TO SAY AND YOUR WATCHFUL EYES WATCHING OVER ME AND PROTECTING ME… </li></ul><ul><li>MOTHER, WE MISS YOU DEARLY! </li></ul><ul><li>Your only daughter and three remaining sons, </li></ul><ul><li>(Lisa) (Roger) (Timothy) & (John) </li></ul><ul><li>(Steven) preceded her in death </li></ul>
  6. 12. Her Children
  7. 13. Bahamas and Loving It
  8. 15. Steven Lance Terrell Tomeka Christinmah Ciera Shawn John Sheena Jayden William Skylar
  9. 19. Mother... I think of you every single day…you are missed by each of us in our very own special way…May the love that you have shown to us always blossom through…Just know that all four of us will always Love You!!!