Episode Length: Half hour
Show Type: Comedy - Drama
Target Audience: 16 to Adult
L. L. PRODUCTIONS
Cast of Characters
902 HAZELWOOD CIRCLE
BUFFALO, MN 55313
AND I DON’T NEED THE GOOD
THIS FAIRY BAILING MY ASS OUT
I DO NOT
AIN’T OZ OF TROUBLE.
NEED A BRAIN.
What happens when a retired Air Force pilot - thrill seeker, turned
crop duster -unwittingly sprays three scarecrows to life with electrified
pesticide? Well, he becomes the adoptive father of three of the
toughest, strongest and perhaps, dumbest heroes ever.
Their mission: to aid the voiceless, powerless, and exploited. With the
help of a web-page and a dose of good ol' fashion vigilante justice, they
protect those who can't find justice within the law. They right wrongs by
all means necessary - even if their methods are, at times, questionable.
They don't always wipe their feet at the door of truth and justice.
The characters, Pitch, Haymaker, Sickle and the pilot, Franklin, are
not your ordinary heroes. They can be surly, rude, crude and, sometimes,
our only hope -provided Franklin can keep them focused and in line. These
hay-stuffed heroes are too stupid to know fears, though, by all rights,
they have much to be afraid of - animals and fire chief among them.
We see this property as an hour long, action-packed (and at times)
comical live action weekly series. This project could be easily adapted to
the format of a movie or animated series. The following pages provide
some of the possibilities of As the Crow Flies.
MEET THE CAST
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY
In the fields of Iowa, a lone crop duster, Franklin Shields, ekes out
his living dusting insecticides on local cornfields. Franklin, a retired Air
Force fighter pilot, keeps largely to himself. One evening, a storm was
brewing and he only had one more field to dust, and his work for the
day was done. He ignored calls to land in an effort to finish his day's
The storm developed quickly and, before the rain fell, Franklin's
plane was struck by lightning. Though he was spraying a field, he
decided to land his plane and have a go at it tomorrow.
Unbeknownst to Franklin, the electrified spray caused something
amazing to happen. The swath he was spraying as his plane was struck
contained three scarecrows. The electrified spray changed these three
hay-stuffed crow deterrents into the most unlikely of superheroes.
They come to life and follow the scent of the pesticide back to
Franklin's farm. This loner, former Air Force Pilot just became
Daddy to three of the toughest, strongest, and perhaps dumbest
John Law, Sam Langley and Brian White are forestry engineers for Wolf
Paper Company. They are in charge of managing their company's clear cutting
practices. Wolf owns one million acres of prime forest land in Northern Maine
and its clear cutting habits are closely monitored by the Federal Government.
For about a month Sam, John and Brian started noticing the clear
cutting was hurling out of control and the orders for cutting were not coming
from their office. Cutting was going on at too rapid a pace. On Monday
morning Sam and Brian decided to notify corporate headquarters about the
problem. If the government caught wind of Wolf Paper's cutting methods, they
would be heavily fined and forced to shut down operations for a period of one
year. This would result in a major loss of profits.
Brian and Sam were booked on the corporate jet for an investigative
look at the clear cut land Tuesday afternoon.
It was 5:15 p.m. when the phone rang in John Law's office. The look on
John's face was horrifying. Wednesdays Newspaper headlines read: "WOLF
PAPER COMPANY CORPORATE JET MYSTERIOUSLY CRASHES - NO SURVIVORS.“
(Episode #2 Continued)
A week after Sam and Brian's funeral, John continued to be extremely
depressed. He was trying to stay busy doing some computer work so as to
ease his painful loss. All of a sudden a message flashed across his computer
screen that said, "Forget clear cutting issue or die!" John Law new right then
and there that his life was in danger and all because of corporate greed.
The police told John that his murder theory may be right but with no
concrete proof there was nothing they could do. Law wasn't about to sit
around and wait to be murdered by the greedy paper company.
He went home and that night started surfing the internet for help. He
stumbled upon a home page that read, "IS YOUR ASS UP AGAINST THE WALL?
WE CAN HELP WHEN NO ONE ELSE CAN." The page was signed
AS THE CROW FLIES.
John sent a message describing his problem. A reply was quickly sent
back. "It's time to do some corporate clear cutting. We'll be there within 12
hours.“ FrankLin Shields, Sickle, Haymaker and Pitch will unleash a lesson in
vengeance that Wolf Paper Company executives will never forget. Paying the
large fine and shutting down for a year doesn't sound so bad after all.
PUT ON A POT OF COFFEE
A boy sits in a library in Colombia He types at his computer looking up all
he can about poisons, chemicals and pesticides. He happens upon Franklin's
homepage on the internet. He clicks the unusual link to as the crow flies. He
reads about how Franklin and the three scarecrows will fly around the world to
help those who feel like they have nowhere else to go. He writes them a letter
explaining how his father, a small local coffee grower, became very ill and died
suddenly. Now his grandmother is quite ill and the boy fears it's the result of
the spraying the Colombian government is doing in their war on drugs.
Government planes spray fields that contain cocoa plants, but their spray hits
many areas other than the cocaine fields. The boy worries that his family's
fields have been sprayed because of a neighborhood cartel family who grows
fields of cocaine.
The boy, Juan, sends an email to As the Crow Flies explaining his situation
to them. The boy has nowhere else to turn - they are peasant farmers who
would have to take on the Colombian government and the drug cartel.
- To Be Continued On Next Page -
(Episode #3 Continued)
PUT ON A POT OF COFFEE
At Franklin's small, dusty farm, Sickle, Pitch and Haymaker are showing off for
each other - jumping off silos, lifting the John Deere, and Pitch hits a horse who
started eating his neck. Franklin comes out of the house with a piece of paper in
his hand and finds Pitch and Haymaker trying to push Sickle into a trough of
Franklin explains that he just got an email that they should look at. Sickle grabs at
the piece of paper and pushes the other two away. A big fight ensues, and
Franklin breaks it up and Sickle has the paper again. Remembering that he can't
read, he returns the paper to Franklin. Franklin explains Juan's situation to them,
and Pitch starts to cry, making his face contort from the water. Haymaker cuffs
him on the back of the head. After a fair amount of discussion they decide to gas
up Franklin's other plane, and head to Colombia.
Trying to find a remote village in the rainforest is hard enough, but using the
directions sent by an eleven year old makes it even harder. After much fighting,
hiking and asking for directions in broken Spanish, they find Juan's village. The
townspeople shrink back when they see these four emerge out of the forest. Juan,
however, when he sees them, runs up to them and starts spouting off at them in
- To Be Continued in fourth Episode -
COFFEE GONE BAD
The five of them travel to Juan's grandmother's bedside and see that she is
not doing well. She keeps repeating the same phrase over and over in Spanish,
King's Bird, King's Bird, King's Bird. They ask Juan what it means, and he doesn't
understand them, so Franklin writes it down to look up later.
With many hand gestures, and broken phrases, the five of them start to
understand each other and get an ides of what's going on. The family makes their
living off selling coffee beans to Celestial Bills Coffee Company. They are the
largest coffee company in America and quickly becoming the largest in Europe.
The past few growing seasons have not yielded the volume of coffee beans Juan's
family promised, and Celestial Bills has threatened to pull out of their contract.
Due to the spraying, much of this year's crop has been destroyed, and not only is
the family's health at risk, but their financial well being too.
The local drug cartel is getting wind of the fact that Juan and his family are
addressing the spraying issue. They are concerned that Juan might blow the
whistle on their cocaine operation. The drug lords have been quite successful at
keeping their actions a big secret. They will not tolerate any risk to their livelihood.
(Episode #4 Continued)
COFFEE GONE BAD
The remaining trees are contaminated with the pesticide. Juan's family does
not know that there are contaminating agents in the beans, and is unaware
that the beans are a health risk. As the Crow Flies will have to not only find a
way to stop the Colombian government's spraying, but stop the shipment of
beans to the United States.
The three scarecrows roast some coffee beans and break up a meeting in
Bogota of government officials and coffee executives. Sickle, busts in the room
and using his Phrase-book Spanish; explains to the officials and executives that
they should make a pot of coffee with these beans. (Now it is important to
know that breaking up a meeting of the Colombian government involved
fighting their way through one hundred Colombian troops.) Sickle brews the
coffee on the spot and demands that they drink it. The captive audience is
reluctant to drink the coffee and the three scarecrows move in on them. They
break under pressure after Sickle dangles two of the Colombian officials out the
window, from the 24™ floor, by their ankles. The group agrees to find another
way to combat the drug cartels. A top government official agrees to call the
transport company shipping the coffee beans and demands their return to
Colombia. Celestial Bills threatens to kill the contract, but does not under
pressure from the Colombian and US government.
(Episode #4 Continued)
COFFEE GONE BAD
As the foursome returns to the plane in the field near Juan's house,
Sickle sees this beautiful scarecrow off in the field. He falls madly in
love, and the others have a hard time getting him in the plane.
Haymaker, frustrated by this point, high on a caffeine rush, picks up
Sickle and throws him in the plane and the four take off into the
• Franklin Shields is the leader of the group
and extremely intelligent. He thrives on
danger and claims it gives him an adrenaline
rush. Shields consider the three scarecrows
his sons. Because of his hatred for losing, he
will do almost anything not to. His
philosophy in life is to help the underdog. FRANKLIN
The biggest mistake Franklin's enemies can
make is to underestimate him.
• Retired fighter pilot and specialty in low-
• Computer expert with emphasis on the
• Quick temper
• Overly protective of the scarecrows
• Could possess a little more fear
Pitch is best described as a risk taker. His
motto is act first and ask questions later. He is
very motivated and keeps everybody up even
in the most dreariest of situations. This
Scarecrow has a good sense of humor and
loves knock-knock jokes. Old Pitch is always
willing to try anything once. This causes
Franklin to worry more about him than the
* Jumps from a plane without a
* Can throw the Pitchfork 100 yards
with pin point accuracy
* Has the agility of a gymnast. An
* Bullets, spears and knives pass
through him without harm.
* Tells too many knock-knock jokes.
* Lousy student pilot.
A good word for this chap is arrogant. Sickle is
extremely confident and rarely questions himself. He
is also a perfectionist and sometimes drives the group
nuts with this personality trait. He always wants
things his way and often gets mad when he has to
compromise. A very skilled fighter and someone you
definitely want on your side describes Sickle.
* Like the other two Scarecrows,
bullets, spears and knives have no
effect on him.
* Very skilled with the sickle and uses it
like a boomerang.
* Jumps out of a plane without a
parachute and is by far the most
skilled air glider of the three
* Doesn’t think he has any.
* Tries to take over Franklin’s position
as a leader.
He is the quietest member of the group. Haymaker is
very serious and does not have much of a sense of
humor. This fellow always manages to come up with the
right answer when hope or success looks bleak. When a
volunteer is needed for a dangerous situation,
Haymaker is always the first to step forward. The group HAYMAKER
jokes and calls him Stealth, (quiet but deadly). He
relaxes by working on Franklin's plane.
* Jumps out of a plane without a parachute.
* Very mechanically inclined
* Master of the pick-pole.
* Bullets, spears and knives pass through
* Should be a little more outspoken
* Often misunderstood.
* Occasionally gets airsick.
L. L. PRODUCTIONS
BUFFALO, MN 55313