The Panther (translated by Elisa Corbett)


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The Panther (translated by Elisa Corbett)

  1. 1.                           THE  PANTHER   -­‐ a  play  in  2  acts,  80  minutes  -­‐   2009             CAMILA  APPEL     TRANSLATED  BY  ELISA  CORBETT             *  all  rights  reserved.  Registered  with  Escritório  de  Direitos  Autorais  da  Fundação   Biblioteca  Nacional*       1  
  2. 2.    The  Panther  (In  Jardim  des  Plantes,  Paris)  Translated  from  German  by  Stephen  Mitchell.      His  vision,  from  the  constantly  passing  bars,  has  grown  so  weary  that  it  cannot  hold  anything  else.        It  seems  to  him  there  are  a  thousand  bars;  and  behind  the  bars,  no  world.    As  he  paces  in  cramped  circles,  over  and  over,  the  movement  of  his  powerful  soft  strides  is  like  a  ritual  dance  around  a  center  in  which  a  mighty  will  stands  paralyzed.    Only  at  times,  the  curtain  of  the  pupils  lifts,  quietly-­‐-­‐.  An  image  enters  in,  rushes  down  through  the  tensed,  arrested  muscles,  plunges  into  the  heart  and  is  gone.      Rainer  Maria  Rilke           2  
  3. 3.   THE  PANTHER    CHARACTERS:    SHE:  approximately  30  years  of  age.  HE:  approximately  30  years  of  age.  PANTHER:  roar/play  of  shadow  and  light  to  the  discretion  of  the  direction.    TIME:  present.  PLACE:  an  upper-­‐middle  class  supermarket.    SCENE  1  –  SHOPPING  IN  THE  SUPERMARKET     There   are   three   parallel   aisles.   The   first   one   (from   left   to   right)   carries  cleaning,  gardening  and  personal  hygiene  products.  In  the  second  one,  there  are  juices  and  alcoholic  beverages  on  one  side  and  spices  and  sauces  on  the  other.  In  the  third  aisle,  there  are  candies,  cakes,  candles  and  products  for  birthday  parties  such  as  balloons,  and  a  fruit  and  vegetable  table  in  the  center.     I   suggest   that   the   scenery   does   not   realistically   portray   a   supermarket  and  the  products  should  not  be  familiar  to  the  public.  Scenography  can  abstract  from  this  idea  of  three  parallel  aisles  suggesting  a  supermarket,  as  long  as  there  is  a  claustrophobic  feeling  on  stage.   The  supermarket  is  lit  by  a  white  light.  There  is  a  red  sign  that  says  “EXIT”  on  the  right  hand  side  of  the  stage.  The  sign’s  red  light  is  off.   HE  and  SHE  choose  products  placing  them  on  the  trolley,  which  is  driven  by  He.     They  speak  in  a  low  voice.  The  audience  cannot  understand  what  they  are  saying.  The  dialogue  begins  right  after  the  third  bell.     HE  It  can’t  survive.     SHE  And  what  should  we  do,  lock  it  up?     HE   (Ironically)  No,  we  can  put  screens  everywhere.     SHE  I’m  not  living  in  a  prison.       HE   (Looks  at  a  shelf,  refers  to  the  products,  colored  boxes)  What’s  the  difference?         3  
  4. 4. SHE  There  must  be  another  way.     HE  Well,  we  can  live  in  an  apartment.     SHE  No,  I’ve  always  lived  in  a  house;  I  like  houses.  I  spent  two  years  designing  one  for  us.  How  can  you  say  something  like  this?     HE   (Picks  up  a  box,  reads  the  package,  talks  to  himself)  Air  ticket  for  the  World  Cup,  I’m  taking  this  one.     (Puts  the  box  in  the  trolley).  If  we  let  it  loose,  it  will  die.       SHE  He’s  going  to  die  anyhow,  someday,  and  I  do  hope  it’ll  be  before  us.    I  prefer  the  one  with  fewer  calories.     HE  It’s  simple:  either  we  live  in  a  house  and  buy  a  dog,  or  in  an  apartment  with  a  cat.    These  are  just  as  fattening,  it’s  the  amount  of  fat  you  should  check.       SHE  I  want  a  cat,  in  a  house,  and  free!     HE  I  know.  But  if  it  is  let  loose,  it  won’t  survive.     SHE  Can’t  you  see  how  preposterous  that  is?     HE   (Thinks  a  little  and  says...)  No.       SHE  How  come  an  animal  must  be  imprisoned  to  survive?     HE  This  is  how  things  are.       SHE  Ahh,  let’s  hurry.  We  don’t  have  much  time.    Give  me  the  list.         4  
  5. 5. HE  Here.   HE  offers  Her  the  shopping  list.   She  does  not  take  it,  distracted   with  what  she  is  saying.       SHE    (Quickly)  Oh,   I’m   anxious.   I   know   it’s   normal.   Everyone   goes   through   this,   that   is,   almost  everyone.  My  aunt,  poor  thing,  so  many  boyfriends,  she  was  always  almost  there.    There’s  a  pit  in  my  stomach,  and  it’s  not  from  the  diet  to  look  good  in  the  dress,  it’s  anxiety.  What  if  no  one  shows  up?  No,  absolutely  no  one  isn’t  possible.      (Sighs  poetically)  And   today   I   woke   up   with   a   strange   feeling...Like   one   of   those   days   that   you  spend  thinking  it’s  going  to  rain  at  any  moment,  but  it  never  does.  All  the  water  gets  trapped  somewhere  above  there,  humidity  caught  in  the  air.       She  takes  the  shopping  list   from  his  hands.       HE  Some  people  call  that  a  cloud.     SHE  You’ll   never   understand   this   feeling.   It’s   very   subtle.   It’s   a   gut   feeling   that  something  is  about  to  happen.  I  know  it’s  coming  and  I’m  ready.  I’m  ready  for  the  bang!     HE  I  feel  that  since  I  was  a  child  and  the  big  bang  has  not  yet  hit  me...       She  hands  him  a  cranberry   juice  bottle  for  him  to  place  in   the  cart.       SHE  Here,  we’re  only  taking  two  of  these,     HE  Is  this  that  super  juice?       SHE  They  say  cranberry  is  very  good  for  your  health.         5  
  6. 6. HE  Who  the  hell  says  that?     SHE  Doctor  Amapola.     HE   (Mockingly)  Your  gyn?     SHE  Yeah.  There  are  some  anti-­‐oxidant  thingies  in  there...       HE  Oh,  anti-­‐oxidant  thingies.  Ok,  but  leave  the  juice  behind  because  they  take  up  a  lot  of  space  and  slow  down  the  cart.  I’ll  pick  them  up  at  the  end  while  you  wait  in  line  at  the  cashier’s.       SHE  He  has  e-­‐v-­‐e-­‐r-­‐y-­‐t-­‐h-­‐i-­‐n-­‐g  organized.     HE  You  must  have  a  plan  to  optimize  time  and  space.  Now  for  the  greenies.     SHE  Let’s  crab  some  redies,  we  need  more  tomatoes;  I  don’t  think  you  got  enough.       HE  More  tomatoes  on  their  way!     He  runs  pushing  the  cart.       SHE  Wait  for  me  my  little  leopard!     She  crabs  his  arm.     HE  Little  leopard?  That’s  new...     SHE  It’s  about  time  we  had  our  own  pet  names.     HE  Oh,  is  the  time  of  normal  names  gone?         6  
  7. 7. SHE  Well...  I  want  more  intimacy.     HE  It’s  being  sold  over  there  in  aisle  8...  babe.     SHE  No,  not  babe,  it’s  too  generic.     HE  May  I  look  at  the  list,  my  butterfly?     She  hands  him  the  list.     SHE   (Mockingly)  Butterflies   are   too   fragile,   they   only   live   for   a   day.   Our   love   is   strong   and  everlasting!     HE   (Looking  at  the  list)  Six   packs   of   toilet   paper?   Why   don’t   we   get   only   what   we   need   for   the   party?   We  don’t  have  a  lot  of  time  and  you  have  here  cat  food  for  a  cat  we  don’t  even  have  yet.     SHE  That’s  it!  I  can  call  you  tomcat,  my  tomcat...       HE  Then  I’ll  never  know  if  you  are  calling  the  actual  cat  or  me.     SHE  I’m  going  to  call  him  by  his  name,  Sebastian.       HE  The  pet  has  a  person’s  name  and  I’m  named  after  a  pet.     She  picks  up  a  thick  chocolate   bar,  the  one  that’s  specific  for   cooking.         SHE  Do  we  have  enough  dessert  for  everyone?     HE  Yes.         7  
  8. 8.     SHE  Well,  I’m  taking  this  anyway.  I  want  to  make  you  something.     (Showing  she  knows  what’s  his  favorite  dessert)  Chocolate  mousse,  huh?       HE  They  have  some  very  thorough  research  on  that.     SHE  On  what?     HE  A   couple   puts   on   weight   after   they   get   married,   because   one   keeps   trying   to  please  the  other  with  their  favorite  foods.  Wives  usually  put  on  more  weight  than  husbands.     SHE  Spoilsport,  I  was  only  trying  to  be  nice...     HE   (About  the  research)  It’s  true  though...     SHE   (Placing  the  chocolate  bar  in  the  cart)  Come.         They  get  to  the  vegetables.     She  picks  up  a  carrot.     HE  Got  it;  I’m  calling  you  my  little  rabbit.     SHE  I’m  not  that  fond  of  carrots.     HE  Rabbits  have  a  bunch  o  kids...     SHE  So?     HE   (Puts  his  hands  on  her  belly)  A  bunch  of  babies  in  this  cute  belly.       8  
  9. 9.   She  takes  his  hands  off  and   starts  putting  tomatoes  in  a   transparent  plastic  bag.     SHE  So  why  don’t  you  call  me  chicken,  since  all  I’m  going  to  do  is  lay  eggs.     HE  Oh,  but  it’s  not  just  any  chicken...It’s  my  hot,  tanned,  yummy  chicken.     SHE  I  don’t  like  chicken,  least  of  all  baked  ones.     She  puts  the  tomatoes  in  the   cart.     She  takes  the  list  from  his  hand   and  a  pen  from  her  bag  and   crosses  something  out.     SHE  I   love   crossing   things   out   from   the   shopping   list.   It   feels   like   mission  accomplished.  We  need  more  beef  sauce.     HE  More?     SHE  It’s  never  too  much,  if  it’s  for  your  family.       HE  And  lets  get...     SHE   (Interrupting)  Oh,  I  need  deodorant,  come  here.     HE  Mustard   for   the   sauce   is   right   here.   You   don’t   want   to   go   for   all   your   basic   needs  now,  do  you?       They  get  to  the  mustard  shelf.     SHE  There  is  nothing  basic  about  my  needs.    Is  this  the  mustard  you’re  using?         9  
  10. 10. HE  Yeah.     He  puts  two  mustard  jars  in   the  cart  and  picks  up  a  can  of   sauce.     SHE  Look  at  this  ready-­‐made  sauce;  it’s  on  sale.  It  could  be  good  for  an  emergency.     HE  Oh  no,  that’s  what’ll  give  me  an  emergency,  that’s  why  you  took  it  off  the  menu.     SHE  Today’s  menu?     HE  No...the  wedding’s.     SHE  Our  wedding’s  menu  my  sugar  loaf?     HE  Yes,  our  wedding’s,  my  cotton  candy.    Oh,  stop  that,  I’m  feeling  ridiculous.     She  places  the  sauce  in  the   shopping  cart.  He  doesn’t   notice.     SHE  Love  is  ridiculous,  come  here  my  fiancé.     She  kisses  him  on  the  cheek.     HE  I  hate  this  title,  fiancé.  Something  in  the  middle,  which  neither  means  single  nor  married.  You’re  neither  happy  nor  screwed.  I’m  in  a  nothing  state.  The  dictionary  should  say,  fiancé:  that  which  is  in  a  state  of  constant  pause,  in  limbo.       SHE  I  didn’t  change  the  menu,  mother  did.    Mother  was  in  charge  of  that.     HE  My  mother?             10  
  11. 11. SHE  I  like  calling  her  mother.  She  is  our  mom.  My  mother  would  be  in  charge,  if  she  was  alive,  of  course.  Let’s  get  the  deodorant  now?       He  picks  up  a  candle.     HE  Can  you  give  me  a  minute?  I  wanted  to  crab  something  here.       SHE  Crab  it  then.     HE  It’s  a  surprise  for  you...  Could  you...     SHE  Ok,  ok,  I’ll  give  you  some  space.  He  wants  privacy  even  in  the  supermarket.     She  leaves  and  goes  to  aisle  1.   He  picks  up  a  cake  and  hides  it   under  other  products.  She   returns  holding  several  packs   of  toilet  paper.     SHE  Here  it  is.  This  is  something  we  can’t  be  without.     HE  That  many?  We’re  going  to  travel.     SHE  In   this   matter   you’re   the   one   that   doesn’t   optimize   time   and   space.   I   go   there,   do  what   I   have   to   do   and   leave.   You   don’t.   You   take   ages   in   there...philosophizing  about  life...  I  know  what  it  is;  men  have  erogenous  zones  behind  there...     HE   (In  a  bad  mood)  Oh,  men,  is  it?     SHE  Where’s   your   sense   of   humor?   You   get   bored   in   the   supermarket,   come   here   and  I’ll  make  your  eyes  shine.         She  makes  him  stand  at  front   stage  and  puts  a  white  bucket   on  his  head  and  signals  him  to     11  
  12. 12. wait.  Then  she  goes  to  the  end   of  the  aisle  and  walks  towards   him  holding  a  bunch  of   broccoli  like  bouquet  and   humming  the  bridal  march.       They  stop,  arm  in  arm,  facing   the  audience,  as  if  they  were  in   church.       HE  Who’s  Lisa  taking  to  the  wedding?     SHE  Uh?     HE  Lisa.  Who’s  she  taking  to  the  wedding?       SHE  Why?     HE  I  was  thinking  of  introducing  her  to  Antonio.     SHE  Oh.  You  think  he  would  like  her?     HE  Of  course!     SHE  Why  of  course?  Because  she’s  hot?     HE  ...yes.     SHE  Well,  she  will  certainly  look  beautiful.  She  had  a  dress  especially  made;  it’s  called  tattoo.  Do  you  know  why?     HE  Because  it’s  impossible  to  take  off?     SHE  No  stupid,  because  it’s  close  to  the  skin.           12  
  13. 13. HE   (To  himself)  Hummm...     She  runs  her  hand  through   the  spice  jars  looking  for   something.  She  squats  and   looks  at  the  jars  on  the   bottommost  shelf.     SHE  Look  what  I  found!  The  best  black  pepper  in  the  world.     She  gets  up  with  the  product   in  her  hand.     HE   (Thinking)  The  one  and  only.     SHE  A   really   great   product,   with   an   edge…   Who   else   makes   organic   black   pepper?   I  want   to   see   anyone   who   has   the   courage   to   come   up   with   organic   spices   with  all...  all  the  sustainable  advantages,  like  you  did.     HE  That’s  it;  I  want  to  see  someone  who  does  that!     SHE  It’s  a  little  expensive,  isn’t  it?       HE  Sales  are  dropping.  I  cannot  decrease  the  margins.    But   this   is   what   screws   it   up,   the   consumer   has   to   kneel   down   to   pick   up   the  product!     SHE  And  what’s  wrong  with  that?     HE  Most   purchases   are   impulse   buys,   decided   on   the   spot,   and   people   are   lazy.   Only  those  specifically  looking  for  this  brand  are  going  to  bend  down  to  look  for  it.     SHE  I  was  specifically  looking  for  this  product.     HE  Because  you  designed  it.       13  
  14. 14.   SHE  So  you  could  sell  it.     HE  Thank  you  light  of  my  life.     SHE  Light  of  my  life  is  corny,  isn’t  it  my  angel?       HE  I  can’t  do  my  angel  and  light  of  my  life.  My  little  leopard  is  out  of  the  question.  Babe  is  too  common,  my  butterfly  is  too  fragile.  See?     SHE  Let’s  stick  with  mine  then.     HE  What?  Mine?     SHE  I’ll  call  you  mine  and  you  call  me  mine.     HE  Listen  to  that!  Your  dad  will  love  to  hear  me  calling  you  mine.  But  that’s  what  you  are;  all  mine.  Come  here.       He  embraces  her  possessively.         SHE  Don’t  squeeze  me  like  this;  I  need  to  pee.     He  releases  her.     HE  Go  to  the  bathroom  then.     SHE  Yeah...       She  feels  something  strange   in  the  air.         SHE  Do  you  think  there’s  a  ladies  room  here?           14  
  15. 15. HE   (Ironically)  No.  Employees  don’t  pee,  shit,  or  anything.     SHE  Ok.  Don’t  abandon  the  cart  anywhere,  ok  mine?     HE  No  one  is  going  to  steal  our  cart,  mine.     SHE   (Looking  around  her)  Well...  The  place  is  not  exactly  full.  I  don’t  see  a  single  person  around.     She  leaves  stage.  He  checks  if   anyone  is  watching  and   swaps  the  products  from  the   competing  brand  for  his,   putting  them  on  the  shelf  that   levels  with  the  eyes.     She  returns  and  notices  what   He  is  doing.       He  turns  around.     HE   (Feeling  caught)  Already?     She  is  paralyzed,  scared.       SHE  I-­‐I  didn’t  find  anyone.     HE  Ahn?     SHE   (Whispering)  There’s  no  one  in  here  but  the  two  of  us.       HE  Oh  really!     SHE  Let’s  go?     15  
  16. 16.   HE  I’m  going  to  check  the  other  side.     SHE  No...     HE  Just  a  sec.     SHE  Something  really  bad  must  have  happened.  I’m  calling  your  mom.     He  leaves.  She  takes  her  cell   phone  from  her  bag,  and   dials.  The  call  does  not  go   through.  She  walks  around   the  supermarket,  trying  to   find  the  signal.  She  takes   everything  out  of  the  cart,   putting  the  products  on  the   floor.  She  sees  the  cake.  She   climbs  in  the  cart  to  try  a   signal  higher  up.  He  returns.     HE  What’re  you  doing?     SHE  The  cell  does  not  work!     HE  Get  down  you  monkey;  you’ll  fall  down...     SHE  Have  you  found  anyone?     HE  No,  no  one.       SHE   (Climbing  down)  Let’s  go.     HE  It’s  Saturday  evening,  the  supermarket  must  close  around  eleven.         16  
  17. 17. SHE  Some  big  celebrity  must  have  died,  come.     HE  And  leave  the  stuff  here?  Humm,  and  I  was  making  you  a  surprise...     He  throws  the  candle  in  the   cart  and  leaves  stage.  Music.   Lights  fade;  all  the  audience   can  see  is  the  shadow  outline   of  the  supermarket.        SCENE  2  –  CAUGHT  IN  THE  SUPERMARKET     They   start   talking   backstage.   Lights   start   going   back   to   normal   as   they   come   up   on   stage.       SHE  Incredible!  How  did  they  lock  us  in  here?!       HE  I  have  no  idea.       They  enter  stage.  Lights  are  on.     SHE  It  doesn’t  make  any  sense,  have  you  ever  heard  of  something  like  this?     HE   (He  may  only  shake  his  head)  No.     SHE  For  heaven’s  sake,  do  something!     HE  Shoot,  I’m...     SHE  Frozen,  completely,  I  can  see  that.     (Shouting  to  the  ceiling)  Hey!  Uhu!  Hello  there.         17  
  18. 18. HE  Calm  down,  it’s  not  so  bad.     SHE  What?       HE  I’ll  check  if  the  backdoors  are  open.     He’s  about  to  leave,  hears  her   shouting  and  comes  back.     SHE   (Shouting  to  nowhere  in  particular)  Hello,  anyone  there?  There’re  people  in  here!  Hello!     HE  It’s  easier  if  you  use  the  phone.     SHE   (Taking  a  deep  breath)  Mine  is  not  working.  Can  I  borrow  yours?     He  takes  his  phone  from  his   pocket,  gives  it  to  her  and   leaves  stage.  She  climbs  in  the   cart  trying  to  find  a  signal   again.  She  dials  something  but   the  connection  fails.     SHE  Amazing.    This  shit  doesn’t  work!  Hello!  Anyone  there?     She  sits  inside  the  cart   wrapping  her  arms  around  her   legs.  Holding  his  phone  she   starts  to  check  it  reading  his   text  messages.  She  reacts   negatively  to  something  she   reads.  He  comes  in.  She   dissimulates  and  puts  the   mobile  in  her  bag.         SHE  So?       18  
  19. 19. HE  Nothing.     SHE   (Ironically)  Nothing...     HE  Couldn’t  open  a  single  door,  it’s  very  strange,  we  are  locked...     SHE  How  incompetent!     HE  This  is  not  my  fault.  There’s  no  way  out.     SHE  That’s   impossible.   You   just   couldn’t   find   one.   If   you   can’t   get   us   out   of   a   situation  that’s  not  so  bad...”     HE  It’s  not  easy  either...     SHE  ...  I  don’t  even  want  to  think  how  it’ll  be  when  we  have  children.       HE  Some  free  association!  From  trapped  in  a  supermarket  to  kids.       SHE  I  don’t  want  to  talk  about  this  now.     HE  That  would  be  interesting...       SHE   (In  a  cold  sweat)  Love,  I  have  some  kind  of  phobia  of  these  things.  Everything  is  turning,  I’m  going  to  faint.       He   massages   her   shoulders   (She   is   still   sitting   inside   the   cart).   She   takes   a   deep   breath   and  begins  to  relax.     HE  Relax...   I’ve   never   seen   you   like   this   before.   Don’t   you   dare   faint   and   leave   me  here  alone.     19  
  20. 20.   She   takes   some   medication   from  her  bag.     HE  What’s  that  one  for?     SHE  For  anything.     She  takes  the  pill.       SHE  How  are  we  going  to  get  out  of  here?     HE  Did  you  reach  anyone?     SHE   (Still  in  a  cold  sweat)  I  can’t  get  a  signal.     (Looking  around,  she  feels  claustrophobic)  Oooooh...     HE  That’s  psychological.  We’ve  been  here  for  a  long  time  and  you  were  doing  fine.  Who  did  you  try  calling?     SHE  911.     HE  Do  you  want  me  to  make  a  fool  of  myself  with  the  police?  Stop  being  neurotic!     SHE  Bastard.       HE  Sorry.     SHE  Why  don’t  you  go  to  the  cashier  and  try  to  find  some  kind  of  emergency  button?     He  goes  off  stage     He   (Off  stage)  Ok.     20  
  21. 21.   SHE   (Taking  the  mobile  from  her  bag)  I’ll  check  if  we  have  a  signal  now.     HE  Shit,  I  can’t  see  any  button.     SHE   (To  herself)  Ah,  I’m  dizzy...     (To  him  at  the  back)  There   must   be   some   emergency   button   there,   something   red,   an   alarm   or  emergency  thing.     HE  Oh,   I’m   going   to   try   this   one.   It   lit   up   here   at   the   cashier.   Oh,   it’s   to   call   the  manager.     SHE  Hurry  up.    I’m  not  feeling  well!!!     HE  Oh,  so  why  don’t  you  call  Doctor  Amapola?     SHE  What  does  my  gyn  have  to  with  this?     HE  She  must  be  a  therapist  too;  you’re  always  in  her  office.     SHE  She  is  much  more  than  that.  Did  you  find  the  button?     HE  Found  several,  but  all  are  useless.       He   returns   with   a   radio   in   his   hands     HE  You  two  have  secrets,  is  that  it?       SHE  Look  who’s  talking!  I  don’t  concoct  secret  plans  without  telling  you.         21  
  22. 22. HE  Have  you  lost  it?     SHE   (Climbing  out  of  the  cart)  I  saw  a  message  from  Antonio  in  your  phone.  He’s  all  happy  because  you  want  to  introduce  Lisa  to  him.  Why  have  you  talked  to  him  without  consulting  me?     (Changing  the  tone  of  voice)  What  are  you  going  to  do  with  this  radio?     HE  What’s  the  problem  with  introducing  them?       He   puts   the   radio   on   the   floor   and  tries  to  tune  into  a  station.     SHE  You  wrote:  “She’s  your  type,  it’s  a  sure  thing.”       HE  Since  when  do  you  check  my  messages?     SHE  Why  is  it  a  “sure  thing”?       HE  Since  when  do  you  check  my  messages?     SHE  You  think  every  single  man  will  fall  for  Lisa?     HE   (Speaking  or  gesticulating)  Cut  it  out?!     SHE  Ok,   it’s   ok...   She   is   very   beautiful   indeed.   Everyone   drools   over   her,   men   and  women.    I   can   see   how   it   will   be.   She’ll   be   next   to   me   in   church   in   that   sexy   red   tattoo  dress  and  I’ll  be  all  in  white  looking  like  a  nun.    What   will   your   friends   be   thinking?   They’ll   say,   that’s   a   lucky   guy;   I’d   marry  anyone  who  has  a  best  friend  that  looks  like  this.       HE  Your  full  of  it...             22  
  23. 23. SHE   (Feeling  claustrophobic.  To  herself)  Oooh,  There’s  that  chill  again.  Should  I  take  another  one?     HE  I  just  tuned  in  to  something.     SHE  The  news?     HE  News  from  God,  It’s  a  Baptist  radio.  Let  me  try  finding  a  different  one.     SHE  Your  mother  likes  listening  to  these  religious  radios.     HE  She  likes  the  music,  says  it’s  uplifting.     SHE  I  tried  calling  her,  again,  not  the  Police.  She’s  my  number  1  dial  up.     HE   (Understanding,  remembering  she  has  already  lost  her  mother)  Yes,  I  know  my  love.     He  hugs  her.     HE  Are  you  feeling  better?  Soon  someone  will  come  to  get  us  ou...     SHE  She   even   said   I   was   a   very   understanding   woman,   because   I   didn’t   mind   you  having  so  many  close  female  friends.     HE  Please  don’t  start  with  that  jealousy  stuff.  You  must  learn  how  to  control  that.     He  grabs  the  radio.     SHE  Oh   yeah,   I   must   control   things   well.   Who   you   go   out   with,   where   do   you   go,   at  what  time  you  leave,  what  time  you  get  back.     HE  For  heavens’  sake,  make  this  shit  work!     He   throws   the   radio   on   the   floor,   and   hears   a   sound   much     23  
  24. 24. louder   than   the   one   made   by   the  radio  falling  down.     HE  Did  you  hear  that?     SHE  What,  you  detonating  your  super  tool  to  get  us  out  of  here?  U-­‐hu.     HE  There’s  someone  else  here.    I’ll  be  right  back.     He   goes   to   aisle   3   and   listens   for   more   noise.   He’s   unsure   about  what  to  do  and  does  not   move.   He   is   the   only   one   to   hear   a   noise   neither   she   nor   the   audience   can   hear   anything.  He  reacts  because  he   finds  it  strange.       SHE  Don’t  leave  me  alone...I’m  not  feeling  well...     She   looks   around,   noticing   she’s   alone.   She   wraps   her   arms   around   her   as   if   she’s   cold.         SHE  I’m  not  well  today.  I  know  I  push  you  away  when  I  treat  you  like  this.  Why  do  I  do  it?     She   lowers   her   head   in   distress.   He  returns.     HE   (Puffing)  You’re  not  going  to  believe  this.     SHE    Hold  me?           24  
  25. 25. HE   (Desperately)  There’s  no  time  for  this  now;  this  is  an  emergency!  I  think  there’s  someone  else  in   here.   And   this   someone   is   making   strange   noises.   Do   you   believe   I   couldn’t  open  a  single  door?  We’re  locked  in  here  and  there’s  someone  else  with  us.  Are  you  listening  to  me?     SHE   (Downcast,  not  even  listening)  Yes.     HE  Do  something.  Don’t  just  stay  there  with  this  look  on  your  face.     SHE  Don’t  blame  your  incompetence  on  me.     HE  Well,   aren’t   you   always   saying   you   are   Wonder   Woman?   So,   now   it’s   time   to  show  your  powers.   SHE   (Screaming)  Oh!  Wonder  Woman  was  Lisa’s  nickname!  I  was  Cat  Woman!  Cat   Woman!   You   fantasize   about   Wonder   Woman,   don’t   you?   Tell   me;   tell   me  you’d  rather  have  her.  Confess!     HE   (Calmly)  Yes.  That’s  it.  I  fantasize  I’m  in  bed  with  Wonder  Woman.  That’s  it.   (Screaming)  And  Wonder  Woman  is  Lisa!     They  hear  the  Panther’s  ROAR.     They   get   scared   and   hide   under   the   shelves,   or   somewhere   on   stage,   which   can  be  seen  from   the   audience.   Lights   dim,   the   audience   can   see   the   silhouettes   of   the   objects   on   scene,   and   that   of   the  couple.  He  moves  his  head   looking   for   something.   She   is   completely  paralyzed.     25  
  26. 26.  SCENE  3  –  THE  PANTHER     They   pant   loudly.   Lights   are   still  dim.       SHE  What  was  that?     HE  I  have  no  idea.     SHE  What  was  it!     HE  Shush,  be  quiet.     The  panther  purrs.     SHE  Holy  shit,  is  there  a  beast  in  here?     HE  Yes.     SHE  There’s  a  beast  in  here!     HE  Shush!  Be  quiet.     The  panther  stops  making   noises.   Lights  go  back  to  normal     HE   (Getting  up)  Come.     SHE  Are  you  insane?     HE  It’s  at  the  back  of  the  supermarket.  Listen     Short  break,  they  hear  sounds   of  “dogs  in  the  trash”.     26  
  27. 27.   HE  That’s  where  the  meats  are.     SHE   (Getting  up)  It’s  a  wild  beast,  I’m  sure  it’s  a  wild  beast.  What  kind  of  thing  makes  noises  like  these?     HE  We  must  find  a  way  to  protect  ourselves  for  when  it  comes  back.     SHE  Come  back?  Why  come  back?     HE  Animals  attack  when  they  are  hungry  or  in  self-­‐defense.     SHE  There’s  enough  meat  for  months,  back  there.     HE  But  some  attack  just  for  fun.     SHE  Help!  Help!     He  covers  her  mouth  with  his   hand.     HE  Shush,  stop  calling  attention.  Animals  also  attack  when  they  feel  fear  from  their  prey.  They  can  smell  fear.  And  they  first  go  for  the  weakest.    You  must  be  careful.     SHE   (Taking  his  hand  away  from  her  mouth)  So  I  am  the  weakest  one,  am  I?     HE  Help  me  get  some  boxes.  We  need  to  make  a  base  for  us,  divide  the  territory.     They  start  pilling  up  boxes,   making  a  small  circle  around   them  (the  area  barely  fits  two   people).           27  
  28. 28. SHE  They  have  x-­‐ray  vision  for  feelings.  They  can  see  you  are  trying  to  hide  your  fear.  It   can   see   that   the   noise   I   make   is   superficial   and   that   yours   is   much   more  dangerous.  It’s  the  sound  of  a  repressed  man.       HE  Thanks  love.  Look,  let’s  make  a  weapon.  Animals  are  afraid  of  fire.       More   noises   come   from   the   back  of  the  supermarket.     SHE  They   have   alcohol   in   the   next   aisle.   It’s   the   cleaning   products   aisle.   They   have  cloths,  brooms  and  lighters.  You  can  go  and  pick...     HE  I’ll  bring  everything  over  here  and  you  can  wrap  the  broom  with  the  cloth,  soak  it  in  alcohol  and  get  ready  to  set  fire  to  it.  Got  it?     SHE  Got  it.   He  comes  in  through  the   passage.  She  holds  his  arm.     SHE  I  like  seeing  you  take  care  of  things.  Youre  my  man.       HE  Be  careful.  Don’t  make  sudden  moves  and  don’t  even  think  about  getting  out  of  here.     He   goes   to   the   middle   aisle   and  gets  to  Aisle  1.  He  hands   her  a  broom,  then  a  cloth.  She   wraps   the   cloth   around   the   broom.   He   hands   her   the   alcohol.   She   puts   alcohol   on   the   cloth.   He   returns   to   where  she  is.         HE   (Trying  to  cheer  himself  up)  Great.   (Practically)  Now  we  go  in  our  fort  and  close  the  entrance.         28  
  29. 29. They  go  in.  They  are  cramped   inside  and  can  hardly  move.       SHE  Ok,  I’m  ready.  I  can  do  this.  Can  you  hand  me  the  lighter?       He  doesn’t  answer.     SHE  The  lighter!     He  looks  down.     SHE  Fuck!  What  am  I  going  to  do  with  this,  hit  the  beast  on  the  head?       HE  I  couldn’t  find  a  lighter.     SHE  Do  I  have  to  do  everything?  What  else  scares  these  beasts?       HE  Uhum...     SHE   (Teasing  him)  Uhum...     She   stands   up   to   get   a   lighter  from  her  purse.       HE  Fire...     SHE  Really.     HE  Wait!  Fire,  water!  Where’s  that  juice?     SHE   (She  gets  the  juice)  Here.     She  opens  it.       29