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  1. 1. Everlasting Love
  2. 2. Everlasting Love Deborah H. Collier
  3. 3. Copyright © 2010 by Deborah H. Collier.Illustrated by Jeremy Aloysius RichthofenLibrary of Congress Control Number: 2010909482ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-4535-2900-3 Softcover 978-1-4535-2899-0 Ebook 978-1-4535-2901-0All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in anyform or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writingfrom the copyright owner.This book was printed in the United States of America.To order additional copies of this book, contact:Xlibris Corporation1-888-795-4274www.Xlibris.comOrders@Xlibris.com42112
  4. 4. Contents1. I Finally Found You .........................................................................152. I Needed You ..................................................................................173. The One Constant ..........................................................................194. I Am In Awe! ...................................................................................235. A Shining Star .................................................................................256. I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again ...................................................297. Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways..........................................338. You Are Out There Somewhere .......................................................379. A Testament To Our Love ...............................................................4110. The Love We Have ..........................................................................4311. You Found Another Attraction/Distraction .....................................4712. Passion From The Soul ....................................................................5113. The Path Of Our Lives....................................................................5314. How Can I Ever Trust Again? ..........................................................5715. To A Very Good Mother .................................................................6116. From A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents ....................................6317. Perceptions ......................................................................................6518. The Love Of A Father And Son .......................................................6919. The Right One ................................................................................7320. The End Of Our Journey ................................................................77
  5. 5. 21. The Truth Did Set You Free ............................................................7922. A Love Like A Dream ......................................................................8123. You Loved Me .................................................................................8324. When The Sea Is Calm....................................................................8525. The Unrelinquished Sadness ...........................................................8726. The Right Time...............................................................................8927. I Saw You In A Vision .....................................................................9328. You Looked Up To Me ....................................................................9729. The World Traveler .........................................................................9930. A New Start ..................................................................................10131. Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper .....................................................10532. The Nightmare .............................................................................10733. I Felt Your Pain .............................................................................10934. When Did Things Begin To Change? ............................................11335. Putting The Pieces Back Together ..................................................11736. The Day Arrived ...........................................................................12137. Where Is It Written? ......................................................................12538. Expressing My Love For You .........................................................12939. A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway) ..........13140. Stay As Free As You Are .................................................................135* Denotes actual year the poem was written by the author** Note: The author is very aware of the many punctuation marks (mainly commas) missingfrom the poems. This was done purposefully, and the ones left in were to make it easier forthe reader to understand the contextual nature of a stanza or line, and the underlines ofcourse to make a point more emphatically. I felt that by leaving out the extra punctuation itwould allow the reader to be less interrupted, and the poem to flow as fluently as possible.
  6. 6. DedicationDedicated to my wonderful parents, who loved me unconditionally, andshowed me by example how to be a person with good values and a personof worth. My incredibly supportive and loving husband, Bruce, who hasshown me what being in love really means. My five children, Shane, Seth,Jeremy, Cody and Bethany who have given me the opportunity to knowthe real meaning of unconditional love. And to my beautiful cousin, friendand confidant, Jean, whom I appreciate so much. To them I want to expressmy love and gratitude, and feel blessed to have had them in my life to be aninspiration for this book.A special thank you to my illustrator, Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen, and hiswife Elie, an exceptional couple who made my job much easier.
  7. 7. PrefaceI wrote this book trying to address many of the types of love we encounterin life. If you were to ask a hundred people what they feel true love is, theywould probably have a lot of the same thoughts, but I believe there would notbe one answer that was the same. We all see love for others in different ways,but the one theme that does hold true, is that love is to feel an emptinessin your heart when that person is not with you and you want to be able tobe with that other person more than with others. Many of my poems areof love lost, and I wrote these because this is the reality of love for another.We are never guaranteed “a rose garden” in any relationship, but those thatendure the test of time means that either both parties are working very hardto make things work out or that they are “soul mates” to begin with. If theyare “soul mates”, this may give them the good fortune and possibility of nothaving to deal with some of the same stresses that many other marriages andpartnerships could have. Some of my poems are of everlasting love. Lovethat we feel even when we have lost a loved one through illness or tragedy,and we continue to love them after death. Also, when we have lost a partnerbecause things did not work out between the two people involved. I feel thatanyone who finds what they feel is “true love”, is so very fortunate as I saidin one poem because some of us never ever find it. These poems were notwritten from life experience as much as they were on what I feel others havehad to go through in relationships. I want to touch other people’s hearts andhave them feel that they are not alone, and if a poem “speaks” to them, Ihave accomplished my purpose by writing this book. Many people may findsolace in one or more of these poems, if they are still in love with someonewho has passed over, or who is inaccessible to them at this point in time.The love we have for our children, of course is different, and I wanted toinclude this in order to address mothers and fathers, young and old. Thistype of love should be unconditional and last all our lives as their parents.Some parents feel that when their children turn a certain age, and they areno longer responsible for them by law, that their caring for them as they havein the past stops there. I feel that your children are your responsibility 11
  8. 8. Everlasting Loveall your life. You should be there for them whenever they need you, andhelp and support them the best that you can no matter how old they are.When they marry you should be a presence, but not one that interfereswith their marriage. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to them, but tomake decisions for their marriage is up to them and their partner.I hope that I have been able to be as inclusive as possible with the types oflove that we may encounter in our everyday lives, and I hope that I havetouched the hearts of my readers in a positive way, even if a poem bringstears to their eyes. I feel we have to have experienced pain and sorrow inorder to be able to know the joy that comes from so many kinds of love.I send my love out to my readers, and as I said above, I hope I have alsotouched your hearts. 13
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  10. 10. Everlasting LoveI Finally Found You I’ve been waiting all my life To find someone just like you To fill my days and nights with love To find a love so true I’m sitting by my window Just waiting your return And knowing all the time I wait Like me, your heart does yearn We’ve built a solid foundation One that just can’t be thrown aside And one that will withstand All the things love must abide I’m so happy that you love me And that I can return this same love to you And to find each other at this time Is something we both are so overdue We just happen to be two of the fortunate ones Who found true love but not too late And to know true love is so very wonderful Especially now that we no longer have to wait I feel we will be together Until we are made to part And that in itself is a tribute To how two can share one heart. Deborah H. Collier* 2010 15
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  12. 12. Everlasting Love I Needed YouI needed you and since I did, I found that peace had almost entirely left meThe days for me were so long and slow, and because of this, out of this rut,I could not escapeThe things we knew, our hopes our plans, were ours and ours aloneAnd since you weren’t in my world now, the joy in my life was not to be foundYou finally came to me in a dream, a dream I had waited for, for so very longAnd when you did, a joy I’d forgotten how to feel was slowly becoming sovery strongI felt I couldn’t catch my breath, for the words you spoke went right to my soulAs you spoke it seemed so real, and for this reason I began to feel very coldYou told me that I must not wait for you, to come back any longerThis I had never been able to grasp before but now I was much strongerYou then said to me that to be with you now, was not the answer for usYou said I must let go, and promise you that I must let nature take its courseThis dream had helped me to no longer fear to start feeling joy in my lifeTo finding relief by feeling more peace, even though you were no longerby my sideI loved you so, your demise had hurt so very, very much—our love hadbeen so pureThis dream I think had three messages—to help me to let go and to go on, andto encourage me to also try to help others to find their own closure. Deborah H. Collier written in 1966 revised 2010 17
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  14. 14. Everlasting LoveThe One ConstantYou are the one who brightens my dayThe one constant in my lifeThe one who fulfills my wants and needsThe one who lessens my everyday strifeI don’t know how ever I found youIn this vast and ever-changing worldI was told it was divine interventionAnd together I want us to be as we grow oldHow many things had to happenTo bring us to this placeWhere we can be togetherIn this world’s so very fast paceWe are at times somewhat differentBut more often so very much alikeI feel that makes us balancedWith our likes and sometimes dislikesIt’s amazing to me that I find,So little about you that I would changeAnd that you know how I feelWithout even any verbal or physical exchange 19
  15. 15. Everlasting LoveYour modesty is suchThat most would never knowThe depth and profoundness of your beingWhich shines like a beacon in a heavy snowI feel that I shall never findOne as loving and kind as youTo fill my days with peace and joyIn whatever we decide to do. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 21
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  17. 17. Everlasting LoveI Am In Awe!I am in awe, when you hold me,Mold me, and enfold me,And I melt into your arms.I am in awe, when you allow me,Wow me, and endow me with soMany of your natural gifts.I am in awe, when you astound me,Surround me,And send sounds to meFrom the whispers of your mind.I am in awe, when you educate me,Evaluate me,And elate me with your love.I am in awe, when you caress me,Address me, and impress meWith the kindness that youSo generously give.I hope that we shall never have to say adieu,Because my loving partner . . . .I AM SO IN AWE OF YOU! Deborah H. Collier * 2005 23
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  19. 19. Everlasting LoveA Shining Star My life was totally empty When you left me on that day For I could make no sense Of the thing that took you away I’ve searched my soul for reasons That no sense can ever impart For I know to try to look for sense Would never heal this broken heart I’ve wanted to be near you Each and every day as I arise But I know that it was not your fault That we said our last good-byes My love will always be with you No matter where you are I ask only that you know this That you were and are my shining star For you were the one I turned to The one who always knew How to make a day so wonderful Just by being YOU 25
  20. 20. Everlasting Love I now turn to those who stayed And to God to ease this pain But as we both know so well This heartache will remain Someday it may be better I have memories that are gold But what I really want the most Is YOU right here to hold! Deborah H. Collier * 2001 (Originally written as a dedication to 911 victims & their families and also read at my Father’s funeral Dec. 2001Also, with great sympathy to those who suffered through the devastation ofhurricane Katrina, and to those heroes who helped other people during this incredible fight for survival.) 27
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  22. 22. Everlasting LoveI’ll Let Love Into My Heart AgainI found that to shut yourself completely downTo walk through life like a piece of machinery made of steelEventually while it is catching up with youYou may find to feel love again helps you to healAs they say we must know pain to know real joyTo have joy may take some people a great deal of effort for sureAnd as much as we want to remain anonymousSomeone may come along that we cannot ignoreThis someone was you, I started letting down my guardBit by bit the walls I had built were crumbling and beginning to fallI felt this was dangerous because I was scaredAs I started feeling old feelings—one after another piece fell from the wallAnd you didn’t let up—you stayed with meYou began to start touching heartstrings I had for so long protectedAs much as I tried to discourage you—you just weren’t inclined to give upYou just kept staying with me no matter how much I made you feel rejectedHow is it that after so many years of trying to hold onto my feelingsYou came into my life and turned it up side downBecause of your patience and persistence and absolute caringI had begun to feel again—my past pains I knew I could now overcomeWhen had I started to become so cynical, and how long had I been this way?So uptight when these feelings are what make us all just humanIt seemed that no matter how hard I triedI knew that by running away from everything was just a pitiful reason 29
  23. 23. Everlasting LoveMost people need others to turn to when things are going wrongWe need others to let us know we have a unique purposeWhen all I could do was shut all the doors to my heartI began to realize that what hurt me, could have been much worseAt times no matter how badly we’ve been hurt and try to hide from the worldThere is usually someone who comes into our lives and in just a short timeHelps us break away a truckload of walls we’ve been so carefully buildingAnd then we can begin to regain faith in love, and everything begins to shineI set myself up for heartache, so very many times, and felt that it was allmy faultI know now that it wasn’t, as there are no guarantees, since real life is notthat way at allThank you so much for not giving up on me, for this is what has helpedme to seeThat opening your heart to others is the thing to do and in love again Icould fall. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 31
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  25. 25. Everlasting Love Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways I walked into the park one day And saw a young girl crying on a bench nearby I asked her if she would like someone to talk to And she answered yes while she still cried She continued to cry The tears flowed as she spoke I told her she could tell me what was wrong Because my trust she certainly could invoke She explained that when she and her boyfriend Were at home night before last That the evening was the same As it always had been in the past She said when they awakened He was totally aloof, and said he didn’t want to talk And this was completely unlike him Because from casual conversation he had never balked She told me he was the most beautiful man She had ever known, and their love had been sublime And I knew these words were from her heartBecause out of the tears her face suddenly began to shine She told me that she loved him more Than anyone could ever understand And they had talked so many times of A life together they had planned 33
  26. 26. Everlasting Love The morning that she spoke of, Had changed her whole world of dreams For he confessed he thought he’d never really loved her And they could no longer be a team My heart plummeted for her as she told me this For I had had a similar experience, a relationship that ceased I told her she should grieve as long as she needed toAnd time would eventually work in her favor to give her needed peace It’s difficult to console someone Who has just had such a terrible shock But I’ve found through the hurt I’ve encountered As much as you would like to, you can never turn back the clock Some people go through tragedies That make them so bitter, they never seem to mend But there are others who have turned their hurt into strength And this has helped them to become stronger and better in the end. Deborah H. Collier * 2007 35
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  28. 28. Everlasting LoveYou Are Out There Somewhere Come to me In our every changing destinies I know we must be Side by side I feel the warmth of your spirit within me And know we will be so complete when We meet You’re out there just waiting As I am right here I just hope that you can hear me I want only you Even though we’ve never met I know that in time It seems destined that we will But it’s difficult being So close and yet so far Because I know you are close Let me know where you are Send some sign to my door Let me know if you can hear me please I know we will meet Only time stands in the way And all these precious moments We could be spending together now 37
  29. 29. Everlasting LoveSomeday you’ll appearIn a crowd, on a streetI’ll know you when I see youNever will this wanting, waitingAnd knowing, wanePlease look for me alsoIn time we will be together, I have no doubt of thisAnd I feel the love we could haveCould be beyond anyone’s imagining. Deborah H. Collier * 1997 39
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  31. 31. Everlasting LoveA Testament To Our Love I love the way you hold me And then kiss me The synapses of my brain run rampant Like the bulls in the Spanish bull run I can’t breathe sometimes I can’t think I can only feel wispy nonsensical Images rushing through my mind Your lips on mine The pounding of your heart beating In rhythm with mine Your hands on my waist Pulling me closer and closer And in those moments the world Is only you and me I love you so very much Please let me live in this world With you for as long as I can By your side always. Deborah H. Collier * 2006 41
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  33. 33. Everlasting Love The Love We HaveThe love we haveIs so precious and rareA treasure I believeThat will go on foreverWe know this love, even in our dreamsAnd I thank God everyday as I awake to you every morningWe find it difficult to put our feelings into wordsFor this reality is beyond even our most incredible imaginingsHow very fortunate we are, to have found true loveAnd to have so much hope of keeping it forever,Some people are just never able to find itNo matter how much they pursue this endeavorThey say you’ll knowWhen your love is truly realAnd this I found to be a truth with youWith a bond our love was sealedSometimes I feel so good about usBut then it truly frightens me,To think how I could go on without you by my sideI’m not prepared to think this way, this I cannot seeYou are not only my true loveBut my best friend of courseAnd I can tell you so many very private thingsA line with others I have seldom crossed 43
  34. 34. Everlasting LoveThank you again so much for all your loveAnd also for believing in meIt’s uncanny how you seem to knowWhat to say to make me so very happyGod bless you my darling, for helping me open places in my heartAnd to the parts of my emotions toward the world, my back I had turnedFor you have shown me not only how to loveBut you’ve shown me how to be loved in return. Deborah H. Collier * 2002 45
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  36. 36. Everlasting LoveYou Found Another Attraction/ Distraction The feelings that I had for you Made me blindsided to your actions And even though I thought I knew you well Right under my nose you found another attraction You said you wanted to be with me Not only day but night And that our love was like a dream A dream that was so right How did I miss the clues to know That you had found another I look back now and still can’t see How I just became a bother Of the many things I now know We definitely should have discussed The terrible things you were dreaming in nightmares, But you said they had nothing to do with us You did tell me about visions You were experiencing from a war long passed And maybe you wanted someone to rescue you From the demons that seemed to last Your quiet demure was who you seemed to be But you were actually a man of deceivable unrest So how was I to even know or comprehend How inside you were so extremely distressed 47
  37. 37. Everlasting LoveYou’d also told me you were ecstatic to find someone like meBut I realize now how needy you were, and in your haste to find a cureAnd someone just to rescue you, you never saw who I really wasIn your chaotic thoughts I had actually become only a lureI watched you as you looked outsideFrom the window by the bayNever knowing how much pain you feltUntil later on that dayThis all came to me as such a shockAs I was the person you said was a dream come trueAnd here I was believing you, I don’t understandHow people fall in and out of love as if it’s just something to doBut I’ve learned not to dwell on things that make no senseIt’s only a waste of energyIf someone decides they don’t want you, go on with your lifeBecause that love just wasn’t meant to be. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 49
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  39. 39. Everlasting LovePassion From The SoulCompletely undone and every nerve-endingYouve touched goes to the very depth of my heartThis passion we have is so very much aliveAnd cannot be conscious to us at this momentUntil emotions begin to impartWe are left with only our basic longingsAnd this is where we can understand thatIn our deepest feelings we know we belong togetherI hold onto you and we feel such happinessIn a foam-filled pool of insatiableAnd abundant unstoppable lovingWe never knew could be so immeasurableUntil now we could only imagine the extent true loveCould affect us until we had absolutely found itThis feeling of overdue passion is so newThat we could never explain it in all its bliss. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 51
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  41. 41. Everlasting LoveThe Path Of Our Lives We’re all on an incredible journey One given to us by design And we find as we walk down this unknown path That our lessons accumulate and combine But my thoughts are that a reason is given That a specific purpose we possess We are needed to use the talents given to us Those with which we’ve been blessed Fulfilling this purpose before our time is up May be the reason we continue to stay And to know we have a specific purpose may Help us to make the most of each and every day We’re in a strange place without a past When we come into this world But I believe if we enhance our life with zeal Many mysteries will unfurl As we go along we find that Harsh times may come our way But we also find that faith can mend So many disappointments and dismays The things that hurt us intensely The things that are now long past Seem somewhat dreamlike as we go on The intensity seldom lasts 53
  42. 42. Everlasting LoveWe all face that questionOf “Why am I here?”“Why was I chosen to live on this earth?”Then the thought just disappearsThe question will always intrigue usAnd we can try to make sense if we chooseBut if we believe this is a one time thingThen we must make the choice to win or loseRemember that life is fleeting and every moment countsAnd that opportunity to do good can be found in many incidentsSo if we make the right choices and great contributions to our worldWe may help the next generation to continue to do good with great perseverance. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 55
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  44. 44. Everlasting LoveHow Can I Ever Trust Again? You were standing there And you could see my pain And then the heaven’s opened And my tears blended with the rain I couldn’t believe what you were saying And I didn’t want to hear Out of the blue these incredible words Did you say you didn’t care? No, no it can’t be true These words you spoke just now Because we were so good together This just can’t be somehow Please don’t stand there and watch me cry This pain inside is just too intense I felt that on your love I could always depend This just doesn’t make any sense You said how much you loved me And that our love was so surreal Then why this sudden change of heart? This must be just a dream Never in a million years Would I have ever imagined this Or thought this could have ever happened You made me believe you were in total bliss 57
  45. 45. Everlasting LoveHow do you make anotherFeel so loved and so very cared forSo much the only one for youAnd then on love just close the door?Im so confused, please help meTo understand your heartHow can I ever trust again?And my love be able to impart?It all comes down to one thingOne thing I now so clearly seeYou wanted to be in love with love so muchYou fooled us both completely. Deborah H. Collier * 2002 59
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  47. 47. Everlasting Love To A Very Good MotherYou gave me a chance to have a life andI am so grateful and blessed to be aliveI am now able to see how the basic values you instilled in meHave helped me to give my own children a chance to thriveYou worked so very hard and I know todayYou did this with so much love for us in your heartAnd I have done the same for my childrenFor your example helped me to get them off to a really good startYou are a Mother, who selflessly tried so very, very hardTo fix the things that most people would feel could never be resolvedBut you relentlessly tried to find a way in spite of obstaclesTo work out these things anyway because you felt they must be solvedYou made my life much fuller, just by being with meAs much as you could each and every dayAnd to this day I could never thank you for all you’ve doneFor there would never be enough words for what I need to sayEven so, I want to tell youThat my love for you runs very deepAnd I want you to know that all the love you have given me,Will be one of the most valuable and cherished things that I will keepGod Bless You MOM and Thanks Again,For whether in person or in your heart, you were always there for meAnd I know now how fortunate I was to have a Mother like youWho gave her all to be the best she could be. Deborah H. Collier * 2006(Dedicated to my Mom who had to be both Mother and Father for so many years.) 61
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  49. 49. Everlasting LoveFrom A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents I didn’t ask for this pain I didn’t ask for this life It was given to me and to you And now we must try to accept it Not just to accept me, but accept my illness Accept that I may never be able to do certain things Accept that you will be asked to work with me To comfort me, to protect me If you water a garden it grows If you encourage my spirit I will grow If you harden your heart I will wither Love me and believe in me and I will blossom I am really just like you in so many ways I was born with flesh, blood, and bones I have feelings and they can be hurt I have desires and dreams that I want to achieve If you can treat me just like any other child This will allow me to become who I really am And then any obstacle that I may encounter Will be so much easier to overcome. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 63
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  51. 51. Everlasting LovePerceptionsI find that many people in the worldHave all begun to lose controlOf all the things that kept them togetherFrom the time they were very smallSome argue the questionOf why we are here at allAnd if we don’t keep our perspectiveWe’ll find we’re up against a wallWe can’t dwell on things that we can’t changeOr on things gone bad when we’ve given our bestTo do that is to stop to growAnd maybe never again be able to restTo find a place where we can existAnd know we can be calmWe must be ready for things unknownLove who we are, be prepared and be strongWe can never ever be perfectNo matter how hard we trySo we must take time to realize thisAnd not give up and on the inside die 65
  52. 52. Everlasting LoveMany of us think we areJust the things that we doLike mother, teacher, engineerBut this just isn’t trueWe are all just the people that we areThe person who’s insideOur goodness and uniquenessWe must not put asideOnce we’ve come to this perceptionOf the essence of our soulWe find that our outward “who we are selves”Can be enhanced within us to beholdWho we say we are and who we areAre sometimes two entirely different thingsAnd wouldn’t it be refreshing to hearSomeone say “I’m just a human being”? Deborah H. Collier * 2005 67
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  54. 54. Everlasting LoveThe Love Of A Father And SonMy son looked up at me todayTears streaming down his cheeksI asked him what was wrongAnd he started acting so very meekIt’s hard to be a caring parentAnd see your little ones in distressSo I made sure that he was physically alrightAnd then asked him why he was upsetHe said some of the kids in school todayHad been mean to him and this had made him very sadHe said he was trying to take up for the new kidAnd this made his friends really madI told him how kind he’d been to take up for someone newAnd complimented him on knowing just how he should actI’m sure he remembered how he felt when our family had movedWhen he’d been new he’d learned a responsible way to reactBecause he remembered how it had feltAnd knew enough about putting himself in this boy’s placeThe hurtful things the other kids were saying to this new friendWas something he didn’t want his new friend to have to faceI told him he’d done the right thing, and how very proud I wasAnd I remembered reading a short quote about staying strong,To always do what you know is right regardlessAnd do what you believe in even if you are the only one 69
  55. 55. Everlasting LoveI don’t know how much those words helped himBut I did remember how it had made me feelWhen other kids had teased me when I was doing the right thingIt still had taken a real toll and took me quite a while to healWhen we are raising any child, we should always keep in mindWhether they are right or wrong, to sit down with them and to reasonBecause childhood goes by so quickly, try to always be there for themThis helps them to be more secure, and to become a better person. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 71
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  57. 57. Everlasting LoveThe Right OneMy life had been so difficultThe crises never seemed to endBut then I did not realize what wasRight around the bendMy life was going to take a turnI never would have guessedA wonderful change was taking placeMy life would again be blessedI prayed that God would send meA person who loved Him tooA gentle person who could see in meThe things that were so trueA person whom I could depend onTo love me just for meAnd didn’t want to change my waysMy goodness they would seeIf I could find a person like thisSomeone who would let me just be meThen I would want to do for themEven more than they would do for me 73
  58. 58. Everlasting LoveThis miracle finally happenedIn a most unusual wayFor many events had to take placeTo bring about this dayThe person that I was looking forI met soon after I had prayedAnd now after being together for many yearsI still feel just as blessed as I did on the very first day. Deborah H. Collier * 2000 75
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  60. 60. Everlasting LoveThe End Of Our Journey My world came tumbling down that day The day we said goodbye We knew that it would never work We’d done all that we could to try You took me in your arms so warm And we had our last embrace And all that I could see right then Was the sorrow on your face Do you think we did the right thing? To end this bond we’d had Do you think we bore poor judgment? This ending was so sad Maybe we’ll never know these answers And we shouldn’t second guess Because we can always hold onto the fact That we sincerely gave it our best You know I’ll never forget you For you know there never could be A better friend to fill my life A friend who taught me to just be me I can’t thank you enough for all you gave For all the kindness on your part And even though things just didn’t work out You’ll always have a special place in my heart. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 77
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  62. 62. Everlasting LoveThe Truth Did Set You Free It’s difficult to discover The needs of another Are all hidden below vast layers of their past Which they have kept covered You reach out to help them Knowing only some of the places they have been But not knowing the deep things Which they keep so secretive and close within The layers must be peeled away To reach them it is the only way You give all of your all to find the key To gently ask things that will not make them flee You finally make some progress The answers are only surface at first You so much want to help them Because below all these layers lies a gem Finally they begin to tell you Of the things they’ve kept so hidden And you knew all this time it would hurt you But to give them all your love was what you could do When these many layers are peeled away And your love helped you to find a way To give this person who was to you a rarity A way to finally find their way to their needed clarity. Deborah H. Collier * 2006 79
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  64. 64. Everlasting Love A Love Like A DreamThe love we hadWas beyond anything I ever imaginedThe love we all dream of and hope forBut can’t believe it has finally really happenedI lived this dream in the real worldEveryday in awe of how true love really feltThinking that this feeling could never endJust being with you made my heart truly meltI wanted to be with you ’til the end of timeThis love was so intense and so very strongAnd I felt it was invincible to any changeBut if I’d been less blinded I would have seen I was wrongLife has a way of taking strange turnsOf taking away when we’re not ready to giveBut I believe to have this true love even once in your lifetimeMakes it a complete life that you’ve lived. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 81
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  66. 66. Everlasting Love You Loved Me You loved me for what I was then Not for who I wanted to be Not for who I was going to be And not for who I was before I met you Your eyes shone with admiration For my every step, my every word My dreams were always within you For you and I belonged in the same world Ideas would unfold before us Like blossoming flowers For I enjoyed your thoughts and you mine For together was the only way we could plan As it was, dreams brought us together And dreams of a future together kept us there Because within this realm of happiness We found very few things we couldn’t share.Deborah H. Collier * written in 1966—revised in 2010 83
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  68. 68. Everlasting Love When The Sea Is Calm When the sea is calm and the moon lays low We know we can begin to soothe our souls We can’t look away, for away would be wrong We must continue to envelope the steadiness That has begun to engulf our spirit and consciousnessTo pretend, is to stay a slave to convention in our passions So we must let our wings come forth, and soar as high As the heavens will take us. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 85
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  70. 70. Everlasting Love The Unrelinquished SadnessI thought of us the other nightThe good times and the badI began to think how things could have beenHad you not been so very, very sadYour sadness had lingered for so longFrom an adolescent ageAnd every time you thought you’d healedIt seemed as if you were still in a mazeI told you that you had to faceThe fears that held you backTo be able to find the good you truly deservedFor you’d always had the things you thought you’d lackedI tried so very hard to make you seeMy love for you was trueBut in order to ever make love work at allThe one you have to love first is always you. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 87
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  72. 72. Everlasting LoveThe Right TimeCome to meIn our every changing destiniesI know we must beSide by sideI feel the warmth of your spirit within meand know we will be so complete whenwe meetYou’re out there just waitingAs I am right hereI just hope that you hear meI want only youEven though we’ve never metI know that in timeWe will meetBut it’s difficult beingSo close and yet so farBecause I know you are out thereLet me know where you areSend some sign to my doorLet me know you can hear me pleaseI know we will meetOnly time stands in the wayAnd all these precious moments we couldbe spending now 89
  73. 73. Everlasting LoveSomeday you’ll appearIn a crowd, or just on any streetI’ll know you when I see youNever will this wanting, waiting,And knowing, wanePlease look for me alsoIn time we will be togetherI have no doubt of this, and I feel thatThe love we could have is unimaginable. Deborah H. Collier * 2005 91
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  75. 75. Everlasting LoveI Saw You In A Vision I saw you in a vision Just the other night You said that you were doing fine You said you were alright I never questioned why you came You needn’t speak for me to know Your words were there as clear as day As I could feel them through the glow You were not dressed in white As so many visions are But came only as a shadow To speak to me from afar After you said that you were fine And that where you were things were very bright Your thoughts came through without a voice It was like a second sight You let me know that where you were A place where the waters were always crystal blue You only wanted to make me aware That someday you wanted me to be with you My time on earth was fleeting And I must know just where I stood In the vastness of the universe There was only one true good 93
  76. 76. Everlasting LoveI must know my God more ferventlyUnderstand His few requestsTo believe as He had instructedAnd to follow would come the restI knew exactly what you meantI had fallen shortAnd there was only one thing to doJust one and only one resortI saw you leave as you had comeYour message had been so clearThat I was to follow a stronger courseIn the things I held so dearGod had been calling me to worshipFor such a very long timeWhy hadn’t I listened to Him so long ago?My excuses to me had been fineI felt sure I’d still get into heavenEven though I didn’t go to His House to worshipBut one day it finally hit meHow very long God had with me been patientFor this reason and many moreI began to change my courseTo worship in the House of GodOtherwise, I felt I would have so very much remorse. Deborah H. Collier * 2004 95
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  78. 78. Everlasting LoveYou Looked Up To MeYou looked up to me, to tell you right from wrong But I did nothing You looked up to me, to help you to be strong But I did nothing You looked up to me, to help you find the one But I did nothing You looked up to me, and when I came to help You were gone. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 97
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  80. 80. Everlasting Love The World Traveler So you’re out there in this great big world With so many things to see So many new things to embrace Who knows where next you’ll be You’ve found your wings to take you higher To reach for the moon as always And in your quest you’ll see such wonders You might feel there are never enough days You’ve gone from being a quiet unassuming little child And evolved and now have such a confidence That you’re able to keep up with all you’ve had to accomplish And when any crisis comes your way you’ve proven your resistance You’ve found your niche in seeing other lands With each place another incredible view With each new step more commitment to explore And a multitude of new things to do I’m happy for your new found love Which is wanting to find out what is waiting in other lands And I hope you will be able to find all you desire And that you will always be led by God’s hands. Deborah H. Collier* 2009(DEDICATED TO MY TWO OLDEST SONS, SHANE AND SETH, WHO ARE TRAVELING THE WORLD TEACHING ENGLISH IN OTHER COUNTRIES AS CIVILIANS) 99
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  82. 82. Everlasting Love A New StartWhat happened to us?What came in the way?Or was it that there were thingsWe should have said, but just didn’t say?I’m totally confusedBut I feel I’m to blameBecause I didn’t give all of myselfTo a person who did truly love me just the sameThe signs were all thereJust staring at meBut my heart was obliviousTo a love that was a fantasyI kept going on as if there wasNothing more to fearBut I found that as days went byEvents began to bring me to tearsI wanted our love to be fantasticSo I let all the red flags slip byWe should have been communicatingBut instead all I could do was hide and cry 101
  83. 83. Everlasting LoveI don’t think we can ever get backThe type of love we once hadBut I do believe in trying to repairThe things that have made us both sadWill you work with me and communicate?We can talk about how we again can find a wayTo be together forever, because all I really wantIs to be with you until the end of our days. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 103
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  85. 85. Everlasting LoveFalling . . . Deeper And Deeper Completely and unbridling You’ve touched the deepest parts of my heart Deeper and deeper as I plunge Into the abyss of our love, down . . . down As I am falling I am collecting wisps of Far-reaching ecstasy in my soul, Knowing you’re feeling the same Sharing with me all of you This is where I take your hand and Bask with you in an infallible, abundant Pool of happiness . . . How could we know How true love could affect us until now. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 105
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  87. 87. Everlasting Love The NightmareThis truly is a nightmareSurreal, chaotic, and the bloodIn my veins has turned to iceSomething, I’ve never before experiencedOh, you had me so blindsided by thoseMystifying and beautiful eyes, always gazing at meWith unbeknownst superficial loveAnd I bought itAll I see now is a cold, calculating, miserable soulAgain in search of someone else to wrap in deceitAnother vulnerable one is out there somewhereAnd I pray they will be shielded from you and your madnessLet them see sooner than later that the monsterIn you is lurking, waiting for its preyThe innocent and kind may be at your mercyBut there must be at least one whose intuitiveness alerts them earlyWhen this happens, you will be found out before it’s too lateBefore there is no turning back from your definite demiseYou will be confused as to why you are not feeling the usualPleasure from one of your triumphs, of hurting and deceiving anotherHow pitiful you are, and I hope there will never have to beAnother innocent and trusting prey for you to try and deceive,But if there is, I hope with all the hope in meThe real you will be discovered in time, next time. Deborah H. Collier * 2004 revised slightly in 2010 107
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  89. 89. Everlasting Love I Felt Your PainI took a walk through the park one dayAnd I saw you sitting thereI could tell by your expressionThat you were in despairI walked over to where you satAnd I thought I could hear your heart beatWhen I asked if I could help youYou looked away and began to weepYou said that they were your only familyAnd this was why you were completely alone nowI wanted to hold you in my armsAnd take all your pain away somehowYou told me your storyAnd how this life can be so strangeHow you may think all is totally fineAnd in a split second all can changeYou told me how your parentsA year ago this dayWere traveling by carOn their way with you to stayThey ran into bad weatherThe road very windingYou’d lost them on that daySince then your life had been spiraling 109
  90. 90. Everlasting LoveYou said that you were one of only two childrenBut your sister had died and she was your twinAnd naturally then being the only childTo your parents you became everythingThey’d never wanted you too far from their sideEven as you became an adultWhen their over-protectiveness became unhealthyYou gently told them that to live so close you found too difficultI listened for a very long timeAnd as I left you I realizedThat we cross paths with others sometimesJust to bring some happiness where there is pain. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 111
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  92. 92. Everlasting LoveWhen Did Things Begin To Change? I can’t remember when things began to change When we became like strangers I only know that it has happened And our love is now in danger We’ve had so many good times As so much time has passed But nothing is ever guaranteed, And many things just don’t last I’ve racked my brain for that turning point When things went all awry And as I contemplate our love The tears come to my eyes I want things to be the way they were But things just never are Because change is so essential And sometimes people can’t change for fear Do you think we can ever get it back, The things that made us click? Or do you feel there is no hope, To feel real love and not just mimic it? 113
  93. 93. Everlasting LoveI want to be with you foreverThis has never changedBut we have to be honest in all we doAnd not feel it’s all arrangedIf you are willing to make this happenThen I will be there tooAnd maybe, just maybe, we may findA different love, but one that is just as true. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 115
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  95. 95. Everlasting Love Putting The Pieces Back TogetherSing me a love song, sing it so it soothesThe things that I feel are unspokenAnd I think these are the same thingsThat make me sometimes feel so brokenI know times haven’t been easyFor you and me it’s trueBut we did think one thing was for sureThat love would get us throughFalling through a maze, a haze, in a dazeAnd everything is blurredAs I try to put the pieces back togetherThe way they always wereI used to feel like a broken-winged doveJust falling and falling through spaceWhile still totally in love I had to try to remove despairAnd then try to put solace in its’ placeLove is like a puzzle, the pieces should fit tightlyAnd when this puzzle is disturbed the pieces do not fit rightI think we can begin to put them back as tightly as they wereHoping that the flame of being in love we may be able to reigniteI believe we are all here for a specific purpose and I also believeThat God gave each of us the yearning of our other half to meetFor with a match that has very little connectionWe may find we will never feel complete 117
  96. 96. Everlasting LoveYou have helped me greatly withinTo begin to restore the things of emptinessYou’ve made things so much easier for meI love you so much for your unselfishnessI find that because of youI now see how these pieces can be restoredAnd you’ve also helped me to know through all thisThat I AM the one that you adore.And yes, now like the Phoenix, I will fly out of the ashes and will again be able to SOAR!!!! Deborah H. Collier * written between 1999 and 2009 rewritten in 2010 119
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  98. 98. Everlasting Love The Day ArrivedShe sat on the steps In the front of her houseWatching her oldest child drive awayAs she watched him from a distanceShe knew that there was nothing more she could sayShe realized that now her life had been changedAnd for this she began to grieveShe had been very quiet while the last bags were packedAnd she knew her love for her child would always be there to retrieveShe hugged her child so very tightlyAs if this would be the last time she would for a whileHer child returned her love with a sweet kiss on her foreheadShe tried to hold back the tears all along maintaining a smileTheir relationship had been wonderfulYet she knew he must goTo fulfill his independenceWhich she knew on every child we should bestowShe knew it was time that she let goHer heart was breaking more than he knewAnd the tears began to well in her eyesAs she knew there was nothing more she could do“I’m not going forever”, to console her he had said“And I won’t be far away”, he could see she was in pain“I’ll come home whenever I can”, he said to her thenShe knew she couldn’t hold him to this, and it began to rain 121
  99. 99. Everlasting LoveAs time went by she realized so many other thingsHow grateful she should be that he wanted independenceAnd this helped her to slowly realize it was good to slowly let goAnd she could still find happiness in all their mutual remembrancesEventually she learned from other mothersWho had also dealt with these type of situations and emotionsThat she would be able to be content with and even enjoyA long distance relationship and have the same adoration. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 (Dedicated to the memory of my dear Aunt Ruth) 123
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  101. 101. Everlasting Love Where Is It Written?Where in the world is it written that at 20A young person should know what they’re going to becomeIt seems so many young people are put in cubby holesAnd to not fulfill their parents’ wishes, the parents may become undoneOf course this is not always the case, as everyone is differentBut the pressure that some parents put on their youngTo know so many things about their future in advanceParents are making choices for their children that they themselves longDon’t push them or expect too much from themJust be grateful that you’ve been allowed to guide this little personBy example try to help them and to show them how to become good peopleAnd to know that you didn’t fail if your intentions were always wholesomeAt 20 it’s generally thought that a child should know his futureAnd at 30 that a career or married life with children is the wayBut many parents forget that if they guide their children wiselyMany times their support and love will help their children not to strayAt forty many parents feel their children should be successfulSuccessfulness is relative and whatever choice they’ve madeIt may not be the choice that suits us, but it’s their life not oursIn the future we may see our child fall back on the foundation that weve laid 125
  102. 102. Everlasting LoveIf your child wants to be a dancer, a teacher, a writer or an artistAnd so many other things even for just a month or two or moreLet them find the thing that they love the mostAnd give them a lot of opportunities to make it possible for them to exploreFeel so blessed if you have been able to have a childThere are so many people who can’tFor those of you who have children please realizeWhat an incredible privilege and blessing on you God did grant. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 (Dedicated to my other three children–Jeremy, Cody, and Bethany who have brought so much joy into my life) 127
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  104. 104. Everlasting LoveExpressing My Love For You If I was asked to write down How I felt about you I think there would never be enough books To give my love for you its due You came into my life When the world looked so very, very dark And the first time that we met I knew in my life you would be a huge part I’ve never felt this depth of love I’ve never felt this joy And each morning as I awake, You’re there, my whole being to restore I hope that I can be to you The way you’ve been to me, so very real But it seems so unlikely that I could For your love has brought me to a place surreal To try and tell you in words how your love And kindness have taken my breath away And to express all these things and the depth of my love Would take a lifetime and a day. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 129
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  106. 106. Everlasting Love A Daughter Remembers(Even Though You Were Faraway) You’ve always been there for me A force that was so strong And though I rarely saw you I always knew that I belonged From all the things you’d taught me You gave me great insight And all the choices I had to make You were still a guiding light I knew that you were always there Whenever I needed your strength But the times that I could see you Stretched into greater length I felt an uncanny connection Even though you were faraway But I always felt we had plenty of time To see each other at times along the way How many times we’d spoken Of trips to visit we wanted to take Never thinking that these trips we’d planned You may never again be able to make One day I received a message That you only had a short time to live It reminded me of all the plans we’d made And that they were still left to be filled 131
  107. 107. Everlasting LoveHow could your condition change so rapidlyA man so vibrant until that nightYou even played golf the day beforeBut you said you had already been shown heaven’s lightSoon after they told me you only had a few hoursAnd probably would not make it through the dayI knew that loosing you would be a hard cross to bearI was so grateful we’d said as much as we could possibly sayI thank God I took the time before you leftTo tell you how much you really meantTo tell you I loved you each and every dayMade me feel that our last days together were well spentWhen a loved one is leaving usAnd they only have a short time to liveTake every chance that you can possibly findTo give them all the love you can give. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 133
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  109. 109. Everlasting Love Stay As Free As You Are (LYRICS FROM AN UNSUNG SONG)Go from here to there and back again and never look behindTake with you a piece of our life in the memories of your mindRemember when you see me to wave as you pass byBecause if you don’t I think that I might cryStay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do itI hope life and good friends will always treat you wellAnd all your friends and family with pride can swellI know we’ll always keep in touchTry not to hurry, please don’t rushStay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do itYou’ve got so much to experience and your whole life ahead of youAnd I hope you’ll be happy and love you’ll find in all you doTrust most people until they prove you wrongRemember it’s so important to always have a songStay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it 135
  110. 110. Everlasting LoveYou know a song can keep you free out thereAnd because you know this you shouldn’t have many fearsYou’re such a beautiful person, a person with such good intentionsAnd because of this I believe you’re someone who will often be mentionedStay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 137