Love, courtship, and marriage

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This was used on our report (or should I say symposium) in our Guidance and Counseling subject. This tackles about crushes, love (different types of love and how to love yourself), courtship (in the Philippines), and marriage (rights and obligations of a wedded couple, the stages of marriage, the common marital problems) and there are also some additional pictures to make the topic easier to understand.

Reporters:
Cindy Asence
Madel Austria
Kitz Bajao
John Kevin Benigno
Marie Buena Bunsoy
Aser Canta

Instructor:
Mrs. Jesselyn Mortejo

Published in: Education
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Love, courtship, and marriage

  1. 1. Crush • a painful experience, very common among middle schoolers (and high schooler's and even adults to a lesser degree) that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if u prefer), being attracted to them physically (most common), or emotionally- also called 'puppy love' - Urban Dictionary
  2. 2. It entails realizing your crushing on someone and using that fantasy relationship to explore aspects of yourself
  3. 3. The Puppy Love/ Childlike Crush It is that longing for closeness that many of us can probably remember from our grade school years
  4. 4. The days of raging hormones… when one thought summed up the whole of our existence: “I want to do her or him.”
  5. 5. –This is what happens when a crush gets out of control –The line between fantasy and reality has been crossed and ignored.
  6. 6. have formed a great friendship with them, and then, one day out of the blue *wham!* you’re suddenly head over heels for them
  7. 7. Having a crush on a fictional character in books, movies, and the like
  8. 8. –It’s a crush! It’s flirting! –This one can cause trouble in some real relationships, but can also be a healthy outlet
  9. 9. Loving feelings towards a love object that are largely based upon fantasy and idealization instead of experience
  10. 10. Romantic Love An abiding love for a partner with whom you feel passion, attraction, caring and respect.
  11. 11. A passionate love usually involving sexual feelings for a love interest
  12. 12. Cupid or “Eros”
  13. 13. Companionate Love Feelings of warmth towards a friend with whom you love to spend time
  14. 14. A type of affection and caring that is so strong that you feel it consistently, regardless of what that other person does
  15. 15. Conditional Love A love that requires specific action or conditions in order to be maintained.
  16. 16. Puppy Love A childish, innocent temporary crush on someone that you don’t know well
  17. 17. Maternal Love This term usually connotes love that is nurturing, accepting and protective
  18. 18. Paternal Love This term connotes love that involves guidance and some authority.
  19. 19. Soul mate Love This type of love is described as a love that has survived multiple life times.
  20. 20. Spiritual/Divine Love This type of love recognizes the Divine light
  21. 21. Love of Country/Patriotism This is love for the place you live or the place that were born.
  22. 22. Self-Love This is a positive feeling that you have about who you are and what you deserve.
  23. 23. This term connotes having a feeling of love for your neighbor
  24. 24. This term is used to describe a love that is expressed by setting boundaries for the good of the other person
  25. 25. How to Love Yourself
  26. 26. Treat others with love and respect
  27. 27. Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness
  28. 28. Don't define yourself by what you've done
  29. 29. Hug Yourself
  30. 30. Think about what you really want someone to be like in a relationship
  31. 31. Nurture yourself
  32. 32. Courtship
  33. 33. The period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind
  34. 34. Courtship as a Social Theory “Courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women, driven mainly by non-verbal behaviors to which men respond.” ~Moore and Perper
  35. 35. Four phases of species-typical courtship process • looking for and appraising potential sexual partners • pretactile interaction with those partners • tactile interaction with them • sexual intercourse
  36. 36. • It takes a far more subdued and indirect approach • Involves stages • It is common to see the male showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs and buying gifts for the female
  37. 37. • Practice of singing romantic love songs, reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving • A Filipino male suitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly manner • No approaching on the streets and asking for a woman’s number
  38. 38. • The teasing practice assists in discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved • A Filipino woman is "shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor • The Filipino man fears rejection by a woman
  39. 39. • The "teasing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe” • Asking the help of a “human bridge” • Courting a woman in the Philippines is described as a courtship that also includes courting the woman's family • Serenading a woman at night
  40. 40. • A traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get” • The woman can also have as many suitors, from which she could choose the man that she finally would want to date • PDAs not allowed • Pamamanhikan stage
  41. 41. Public Display of Affection
  42. 42. Pamamanhikan
  43. 43. • Starts with the "teasing stage" conducted by friends • Involves a common friend • Emergence of new technologies
  44. 44. Parents still prefer that their daughters be formally courted within the confines of the home
  45. 45. Still valuing the avoidance of premarital sex
  46. 46. Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain. ~Confucius
  47. 47. Marriage/Matrimony/Wedlock • Social union or legal contract between people called spouses that establishes rights and obligations between the spouses, between the spouses and their children, and between the spouses and their in-laws • Usually formalized at a wedding or marriage ceremony. The ceremony may be officiated either by a religious official, by a government official or by a state approved celebrant
  48. 48. Carl and Ellie of “Up” Story
  49. 49. Rights and Obligations • Giving a husband/wife or his/her family control over a spouse's sexual services, labor, and property. • Giving a husband/wife responsibility for a spouse's debts. • Giving a husband/wife visitation rights when his/her spouse is incarcerated or hospitalized.
  50. 50. Rights and Obligations • Giving a husband/wife control over his/her spouse's affairs when the spouse is incapacitated. • Establishing the second legal guardian of a parent's child. • Establishing a joint fund of property for the benefit of children. • Establishing a relationship between the families of the spouses.
  51. 51. Stage One: Passion Very strong and significant
  52. 52. Stage Two: Realization A more real vision of the rest of your life begins
  53. 53. Stage Three: Rebellion Simultaneously offended at being called wrong and claiming the moral high ground
  54. 54. Stage Four: Cooperation
  55. 55. Step Five: Reunion
  56. 56. Step Six: Explosion Mission: Deal the best you can with life’s challenges and changes, but at the same time, keep yourself happy and healthy.
  57. 57. “To truly know another, we must be willing to see the world through their eyes, not simply our own. If we listened as well as we spoke, really connecting would take care of itself .”
  58. 58. “Sometimes when we're in bed with our partner, it can be really crowded with invisible and unwanted visitors.”
  59. 59. “We must be willing to look closely and honestly at ourselves to see if these are truths about us. Not everyone is willing to do this. To truly understand what you are seeing in another, you must first hold up a mirror and understand what you are seeing there.”
  60. 60. SEX AND INTIMACY “If your sex life is in need of a tune-up, chances are your relationship needs tuning first.”
  61. 61. “If you've ever been forgiven for your "falls from grace" in life, you know how powerful a healing experience it is. Much as resentments are poison to a relationship, ownership and mutual forgiveness are its salvation.”
  62. 62. Killer of trust and commitment
  63. 63. In-Laws “Both the wife and the mother-in-law are competing for the attention of the husband.” ~John Gottman, PhD Cure: Solidarity
  64. 64. Money Lack of balance between money’s problem and power Cure: Plan as a financial team
  65. 65. Housework Not supporting each other in tasks Cure: “When husbands do their share to maintain the home, the couple reports a more satisfying sex life.” ~Gottman
  66. 66. According to surveys, 70% of married women feel unsatisfied when the baby arrives Cure: Wake up to reality
  67. 67. Sex Sexual desires are not as blissfully matched as you had thought Cure: Trust

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