short/no impulse control
inability to relate behaviour to consequences
no sense of connection to societal rules
….and a few more….
inconsistent knowledge base
poor personal boundaries
confusion under pressure
difficulty grasping abstract concepts
poor short term memory
inability to manage anger
appear to be stubborn
Parent factors…things to consider if you want
to adopt a child with fasd…
What is your experience with failure & frustration
How do you manage chronic frustration and disappointment?
What is your history of commitment?
Are you prepared to be actively parenting forever? Possibly raising grandchildren?
What do you need from a child academically? Socially?
Do you believe in supports? Can you access supports? What about the extended family?
And some more….
Can you give examples of experiences that were unexpectedly life changing?
How did you manage life changing experiences?
Can you live with uncertainty? Unpredictability?
Do you need quick success?
Do you need your children to make you look capable as parents?
Can you be, or learn to be, life long advocates for your children?
Can you create joy in the face of stress and other negative feelings?
Can you build in fun despite lack of predictability?
Home based strategies…
Keep to a routine when possible
Prepare for transitions ie getting in and out of the car or bathtub, waking up, going to sleep,
settling for dinner, change in television program, leaving for school, vacations…..
Keep complex carbohydrates and proteins around for regular snacks
Break all tasks down to one step at a time
Don’t do homework assigned from school unless it is a special group assignment
Create some fun in every day
Lots of cuddling and hugging – even in the “hands off” years of adolescence
A few more…
Use individual sports such as swimming – lots of exercise!!
Learn to distinguish between flexibility and chaos
Re- teach everything
Use lots of picture prompts around the house
Get and use respite
Invest in the long term success
Get the child re-assessed every four years
Take care of yourselves – breathing, exercise, support
Thank you for sharing this time with me
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The Hazardous Parenting facebook site
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Brenda provides counselling and parent coaching worldwide via skype, telephone, and email –
please contact her by email if you would like to book an appointment