Burton parody


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Burton parody

  1. 1. In a land where nightmares and the impossible become interwoven into a masterpiece of absurdity, terror, and a torrid love affair with Jack Sparrow…<br />A place that, regardless of the sun’s place in the sky, is always dark and gray…<br />A location where emo and goth are one in the same…<br />
  2. 2. I<br />O<br />T<br />R<br />N<br />M<br />B<br />T<br />U<br />P<br />R<br />E<br />S<br />E<br />N<br />T<br />S<br />
  3. 3. The Nightmare Before Charlie Became a Barber with Scissorhands<br />Music by Danny Elfman<br />
  4. 4. Timmy was an odd boy<br />He never feared the dark<br />He looked like a half a man<br />And also two thirds shark<br />
  5. 5.
  6. 6. With hands designed for cutting<br />And fashion sense of course<br />He ruled each realm of Twisted Land<br />With his faithful (and dead) horse<br />
  7. 7. “Zomhorsie!” he had shouted<br />To call his special friend<br />“We must prepare departure<br />Before the nightfall’s end!” <br />
  8. 8. With gallops of undeadness<br />A presence many feared<br />Out of dust and into gloom<br />Zomhorsie had appeared.<br />
  9. 9. A horse of few descriptions<br />Normal as he was<br />If you ask me “How’s he normal?”<br />I’ll tell you “Just because.”<br />
  10. 10. “What task lies before us?”<br />The horse did ask odd Tim<br />“I cannot tell you” Tim replied<br />“Not until we begin…” <br />
  11. 11. So off the two would wander<br />To finish noble goals<br />No road or path would be unfit<br />Not even rabbit holes<br />
  12. 12. “I spy a door,” the horse said<br />“I wonder where it leads?”<br />“Perhaps a place of wonder?”<br />“Where everything there bleeds?”<br />
  13. 13. “Let’s open up the door now<br />We have no time to waste…<br />The journey we must finish<br />Must lie that place”<br />within<br />
  14. 14. With steadfast trepidation<br />They opened up the door<br />And thus they fell into a world<br />They’d never seen before<br />
  15. 15.
  16. 16. What is this place? Tim wondered<br />It was so dark and strange<br />Meat pies, trees, a giant peach<br />And BellatrixLestrange?<br />
  17. 17. There were no explanations<br />But questions did not cease<br />Danny Elfman fighting Batman<br />Wasn’t helping in the least.<br />
  18. 18. And flying high above them<br />Higher than departed kin<br />Was a ghost dog pulling Santa<br />Well, a Santa without skin<br />
  19. 19. “I don’t know if this is queer<br />Or well within the norm<br />I just hope we can find a man<br />To guide us through this storm”<br />
  20. 20. With that a voice of paleness<br />As his complexion was<br />Spoke up above the sea of odd<br />And said “Don’t kill my buzz”<br />
  21. 21. It was a drunken pirate<br />Or perhaps a cap happy nut<br />“I know this land quite well” he said<br />“I can’t escape no matter what.”<br />
  22. 22. The three dove in much deeper<br />Passing many sights most grand<br />Most of them dead women<br />Or men with scissors on their hand<br />The place felt almost safe<br />But with an eerie sort of charm<br />As long as you could handle blood<br />Little here would raise alarm<br />So onward went the travelers<br />Many sights which they beheld<br />Corpses, snakes and vampires<br />And a cor-snake-pire meld.<br />
  23. 23. Zomhorsie lost his mind first<br />Before escape was theirs<br />He was left in a room of clocks<br />And any mares.<br />NEVER<br />
  24. 24. The over rated actor<br />Was next to meet his fate<br />He walked into a Sandworm’s home<br />And escaped too late<br />
  25. 25. Our final survivor<br />Trekked on and onward still<br />No man nor bat nor wild beast<br />Could close in for the kill<br />He walked for many miles<br />And several inches too<br />He walked until his brain fell out <br />(It could happen to you).<br />
  26. 26. He walked until the darkness fell<br />He walked right past the void<br />He walked right into nothingness<br />Where he was just destroyed.<br />And so his reign of terror ended<br />He could not feel or see<br />Everything he was and is<br />Has now just ceased to be.<br />The people of the world would smile<br />If ever they had known<br />But, alas, they never will<br />Because it can’t be shown.<br />