Let's Talk About It: Ovarian Cancer - Toxic Positivity

Toxic Positivity
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY
www.julielarsonlcsw.com

The unrelenting
pressure to be
positive and
happy all the
time.
Deeply engrained in
many different areas of
our culture from health,
wellness, self-help,
religion, race, politics &
athletics.

Positivity & happiness
are not inherently
toxic.
They become toxic
when the sentiments
cross a line and feel
dismissive or
minimizing.
“But wait… I think of myself as a
positive person.”

Toxic
Positivity
from others
 Shuts down the conversation
 Focus on problem solving or fixing
 Avoids discomfort
 Misunderstands the presence of more than one
feeling
 Misses an opportunity for real connection

Toxic Positivity
from yourself
 Feeling guilt or shame for struggling
 “Shoulds” (with feelings of shame)
 Comparing to others (laced with self
criticism)
 Rigid expectations of self
 Minimizing or dismissing struggle
 Pretending you are ok when you feel
different.

The Affirmation
Cautionary Statement
Is there a gap between
what you are saying to
yourself and what you
believe about yourself?
In a 2009 study looking at
the impact of positive self-
statements. The impact was
most significant in
individuals with low self-
esteem and the impact was…
negative.
(Wood, Perunovic & Lee)

The Affirmation
Cautionary Statement
Connect your affirmations
to action statements.
• “I am strong when I am honest
about my limits and don’t
pretend I am ok.”
• ”I am doing the best I can when
I take time to notice how I feel
and what I need.”
• “I love myself when I take time
to go for a walk or get to bed
on time.”

Emotion Circle – The
Full Experience
Triggering
Event
Struggle &
Discomfort
Noticing
What Do I
Need?
Where Do
I Have
Control?

The Unmet Needs
Below the Surface
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

When you come face
to face with Toxic
Positivity
1. Learn to recognize it
• Usually, an overly simplified response
• Only allows for one side of emotion
• Leaves you feeling misunderstood, shame, self-doubt…
2. Slow down. Pause the conversation.
3. Make a choice for how you safely proceed.
• Does this person have capacity to listen to me?
CHOICEA: Proceed
• Be kindly honest about how these types of
statements feel.
“I hear you and I imagine it’s not easy to know the best way
to respond. Sometimes the very best thing for me is just to
vent and be honest about how heavy this has been.”
CHOICEB:Turn the conversation
• Shift and redirect the conversation
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

YOU
FEELING
Friends
DOING
Friends
RESPITE
Friends

Internal Toxic
Positivity:
THE REALITY
CHECK
• Many factors led to
this discomfort which
are out of your
control.
• This upset is
understandable and
not your fault.
• You didn’t design this
present moment.
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC

The MINDFUL SEAT
• Sensations: Begin
with your body – 5
senses
• Emotions – What
am I feeling?
• Actions – What do I
want to do? How
may I be helpful not
harmful?
• Thoughts – What
am I thinking about?

The Power of
The Mindful
SEAT
•
•
•

The Power of
The Reality
Check
Disengage with shame and
blame mentality
AND take responsibility for
awareness and self-care.
”How may I be helpful,
not harmful?”

• Meaning and purpose of
wellsprings of hope.
• When we recognize our
value to someone (or
something) else it gives
us a place to focus that
is outside of our
uncertainty.
• How does the life
around you still need
you despite the
uncertainty you feel?

Let's Talk About It: Ovarian Cancer - Toxic Positivity

Let's Talk About It: Ovarian Cancer - Toxic Positivity

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