Domestic violence

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Domestic violence

  1. 1. Domestic Violence: How to recognize, escape from, or prevent it Erica R. Bluford
  2. 2. The Definition “Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual, or economic abuse to control the other partner in a relationship. Stalking or other harassing behavior is often an integral part of domestic violence” (FBI, 2001).
  3. 3. Click the topic that you would like to explore: • The Victim • The Abuser • The Cycle of Abuse • Mistakes Victims Make • Programs That Can Help
  4. 4. Many people mistakenly believe that all domestic violence victims are women Anyone can be a victim: • A victim of domestic violence can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, sexual preference etc. • Although men are in some cases abused, the victims are mainly women • Children are usually abused or neglected when living in a home with domestic violence http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/22/2253164.htmhttp://kiokote.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html
  5. 5. Click Here to EndClick Here to go to the Beginning The Abuser http://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoonview.asp?catref=ear0085
  6. 6. The “Norm” Most abusers tend to be: – Controlling – Jealous – Possessive – Arrogant – Stalking – Unable to recognize any wrong doing on their part – Condescending http://arablady.blogspot.com/2010/08/she-thinks-i-would-steal-her-boyfriend.html
  7. 7. Abusing Styles 1. Physical abuse • Threats • Intimidation 1. Emotional Abuse • Putting the victim down • Insults • Controlling what the victim does • Treating the victim like a slave 1. Financial Abuse • Keeping the victim away from funds • Not allowing them to have a job or any type of independence http://www.accountabletalk.com/2009_05_01_archive.html
  8. 8. Click Here to EndClick Here to go to the Beginning Cycle of Abuse http://www.penn-olson.com/2009/07/31/creative-ad-stop-verbal-abuse/
  9. 9. The Cycle of Abuse http://www.monarchplace.org/underst_pr.html
  10. 10. Phase 1-Tension Building • Anxiety builds • The abusers temper begins to rise becoming more unpredictable and more violent • The victim starts to become afraid, knowing that something could happen at any moment http://theaccountabilitysolution.com/tag/tension/
  11. 11. Phase 2- The Explosion • The abuser begins physical, verbal, and emotional abuse • This is the phase where the abuse actually occurs http://www.inewscatcher.com/2010/04/oil-rig-explosion.html
  12. 12. Phase 3-The Reconciliation • The abuser tries to “patch” things up with the victim • The abuser apologizes frequently claiming it will never happen again • Some abusers go as far as denying that the abuse even occurred – A sad attempt at making the victim feel as though they are crazy http://www.zwani.com/graphics/sorry/
  13. 13. Phase 4-The Calm (Honeymoon Phase) • The abuser showers the victim with gifts • The victim forgives • The abuse is essentially forgotten…(for now). http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/seven-signs-of-true-repentance/ http://grandmastories.net/2010/08/it%E2%80%99s-the-thought-that-counts-thoughtful-gift-giving.html
  14. 14. • The cycle of abuse never ends and usually gets worse each time • Each time the victim experiences this abuse they are lead into a world of isolation and overall depression • The cycle of abuse also leads to the cycle of coping which involves – The victim trying to find ways to change themselves in order to stop the abuse – When this doesn’t work, the victim goes back to depression and stays in the same abusive situation Back to Mistakes Victims Make
  15. 15. Click Here to go to the Beginning Click Here to End Mistakes Victims Make http://soodejavu.com/category/im-just-saying/
  16. 16. Believing Myths • There are all types of myths that are used to explain an abusers behavior • These myths include – The abuser was abused as a child – They abuser abuses the people that they love the most – The abuser is mentally ill • Even though these can be true in some cases, they are not true in all cases • Believing in these myths leads to the victim accepting the abusing or taking the abuse as an abuser’s cry for help http://succeedwithscott.com/blog/how-do-people-kill-their-dreams/
  17. 17. Believing Myths • Another common mistake is thinking that an abuser has a certain profile that can be easily recognized • An abuser can be anyone, knowing your partner and recognizing the signs of abuse is the only way to ensure a safe relationship http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20436786,00.html
  18. 18. “It’s all my fault” • A wide number of victims mistakenly believe that the abuse is their own faults • This mistake leads people victims to try to change themselves. When their changes don’t stop the abuse, they fall into the “Cycle of Coping” http://www.kotamabouabane.com/melting-words/melt/
  19. 19. Waiting Until the Last Minute to Receive Help • Most procrastinate when trying to get help • They always say they will leave the next time the abuse occurs • The longer a victim stays in the abuse relationship, the more emotionally attached they become • All of this essentially makes it harder for the victim to leave
  20. 20. Avoid the Mistakes, Avoid the Violence Click Here to go to the Beginning Click Here to End Programs That Help http://firstrung.co.uk/articles.asp?pageid=NEWS&articlekey=8947&cat=44-0-0
  21. 21. Domestic Violence Programs • Offer guidance to the victims while the victim is trying to escape from an abusive situation. This guidance includes: – Helping them come up with a safety plan • Finding ways to get the victim and their children out of the abuse location safely • Obtaining a protective order – Creating a safe place for the family to stay once the escape
  22. 22. Shelters and Counseling • Shelters – Provide housing for the abused – Have professionals who help with safety planning, legal protection, counseling, etc – Shelters also support victims who do not live in the shelter itself • Counseling – Provides a chance for the victim to recover from and express there feeling about their situation – Counseling also occurs in groups where the victims support each other http://wvpeoplehelpingpeople.org/default.aspx
  23. 23. Family • Most people overlook there family as a means of help • Family knows the victim and will support them in there endeavors to escape • Victims can sometimes feel more comfortable going to a family member rather than a stranger http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/2005/11
  24. 24. Domestic Violence Protective Orders • Requires the accused abuser to stay a specific distance from the victim • It also protects any children who may be involved • Obtaining one of the orders usually takes a small amount of time, especially if the victim can prove that they are in immediate danger • If the abuser violates the order, they can be arrested • They have to be renewed yearly Clip Art
  25. 25. Protective Orders Revealed • A lot of people don’t see the effectiveness of protective orders because they are just a piece of paper • The key to getting the most out of a protective order is being consistent – Every time the abuser violates their order, call the police – Each time the abuser is arrested, the law will become more frustrated with them and their punishment will increase. • The law is on your side. The more you call them the when you are in danger, the safer you will be Clip Art
  26. 26. There is Support Click Here to go to the Beginning Click Here to End http://www.blushingsurvivalguide.com/blushing.php
  27. 27. Sources Bancroft, Lundy. Why Does He Do That?: inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. New York: Putnam's Sons, 2002. Print. Barrett, Marilyn. The 10 Biggest Legal Mistakes Women Can Avoid: How to Protect Yourself, Your Children, and Your Assets. Sterling, Va.: Capital, 2000. Print. Belmonte, Joelle. "Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships." Helpguide.org: Understand, Prevent and Resolve Life's Challenges. 2001. Web. 3 Mar. 2010. <http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm>. Bergman, Paul. Represent Yourself in Court: How to Prepare and Try a Winning Case. Berkeley, CA: Nolo, 2003. Print. Bergman, Paul, Sara J. Berman-Barrett, and Lisa Guerin. Represent Yourself in Court: How to Prepare and Try a Winning Case. Berkeley, CA: Nolo, 2003. Print. Campbell, Nedra D. More Justice, More Peace: the Black Person's Guide to the American Legal System. Chicago, Ill.: Lawrence Hill, 2003. Print. Cooper, Gregory M., Michael R. King, and Thomas McHoes. Predators: Who They Are and How to Stop Them. Amherst, N.Y.: Prometheus, 2007. Print. Cosby, Bill, and Alvin F. Poussaint. Come On, People: on the Path from Victims to Victors. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007. Print. "Cycle of Abuse." Battered Men | Abused Women | Self-Help | Support | Resources | Data Base | Heart 2 Heart. 2010. Web. 3 Mar. 2010. <http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/pages5.htm>. "Cycle of Abyse." Battered Men | Abused Women | Self-Help | Support | Resources | Data Base | Heart 2 Heart. 2010. Web. 3 Mar. 2010. <http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/pages5.htm>. Engel, Beverly. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move beyond Your past to Create an Abuse-free Future. Hoboken, N.J.: John Wiley & Sons, 2005. Print. Gelles, Richard J. "Domestic Violence." The World Book. Vol. 5. Chicago: Scott Fetzer Company, 2010. 301-01. Print. Gelles, Richard J. "Restraining Order." The World Book. Vol. 16. Chicago: Scott Fetzer Company, 2010. 263-63. Print. Mawyer, K. S., and V. H. Spencer. The General Statutes of North Carolina. Charlottesville, Va.: LEXIS Pub., 2009. Print. "Profile of an Abuser." Broken Spirits: A Online Support Group for Victims of Abuse and Domestic Violence. 2001. Web. 3 Mar. 2010. <http://www.brokenspirits.com/information/the_abuser.asp>. Weiss, Elaine. Family & Friends' Guide to Domestic Violence: How to Listen, Talk, and Take Action When Someone You Care about Is Being Abused. Volcano, CA: Volcano, 2003. Print. Click Here to go to the Beginning

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