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A World Without PHP

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Imagine a world in which your career, the careers of your friends and coworkers, and the businesses and industries built on PHP vanished overnight, or never existed at all. No Facebook. No Wordpress. Billions of dollars in online commerce, all gone. Flickr, Tumblr, MailChimp: poof!

This talk presents a dystopian world in which we are stuck updating each other via SMS or (gasp!) MySpace, reading content on corporate portals, and buying everything from just a handful of online marketplaces.

Published in: Software
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A World Without PHP

  1. 1. A WORLD WITHOUT PHP
  2. 2. (SCENE: SWITZERLAND, 2015.)
  3. 3. Mmm, fondue.How did I get here?
  4. 4. (SCENE: WEB DEV, 1996)
  5. 5. Credit: Jud Dagnall https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
  6. 6. “I WAS LURKING ONE DAY ON USENET PERL FORUMS WHEN I SAW AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE RELEASE OF PHP 2.0/FI, THE FIRST TRULY PUBLIC VERSION OF PHP. I WAS GROWING WEARY OF TRYING TO GET PERL WORKING VIA CGI AND FELL IN LOVE IMMEDIATELY WITH HOW SIMPLE AND FAULT-TOLERANT MOD_PHP WITH APACHE WAS COMPARED TO CGI HELL.” IN 1996, THEY DIDN'T HAVE SITES LIKE REDDIT [OR] GOOGLE WHEN I FIRST LEARNED PHP... PHP.NET'S SEARCH FUNCTIONALITY BARELY WORKED. I DON'T REMEMBER… ANY REAL DOCUMENTATION UNTIL AFTER PHP 4 CAME OUT IN MID-2000. THERE WASN'T A SINGLE PHP IDE FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS, AND PHP DID NOT HAVE DEBUGGING SUPPORT AT ALL. - /u/hopeseekr (reddit) https://www.reddit.com/r/PHP/comments/whc4r/history_lesson_what_php_coding_was_like_in_1996/
  7. 7. http://royal.pingdom.com/2007/12/07/a-history-of-the-dynamic-web/
  8. 8. (SCENE: TWITTER, 2016.)
  9. 9. PHP: Old enough to drink in the USA!
  10. 10. “IF I DIDN’T START IT, SOMEONE WOULD HAVE.” - Rasmus Lerdorf, 2016
  11. 11. “WHAT IF ‘THEY’ DIDN’T? WHAT IF NO ONE DID?” - Me, 2016
  12. 12. (SCENE: CA. 2004, 2 YEARS POST-DOTCOM BOMB)
  13. 13. Credit: Nohat https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
  14. 14. NOPE, NO WIKIPEDIA. WIKIPEDIA RUNS WIKIMEDIA… A PHP PROJECT. Credit: Nohat https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
  15. 15. http://www.php.net/usage.php
  16. 16. http://www.tiobe.com/tiobe-index/
  17. 17. http://pypl.github.io/PYPL.html
  18. 18. http://pypl.github.io/PYPL.html
  19. 19. http://pypl.github.io/PYPL.html
  20. 20. http://pypl.github.io/PYPL.html
  21. 21. http://pypl.github.io/PYPL.html
  22. 22. …are a part of the PHP community …aren’t a part of the PHP community
  23. 23. @BENMARKS / BEN@MAGENTO.COM

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