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ProcessToolsTechniquesRelationshipsWednesday, May 29, 2013
We under invest inrelationship infrastructuresWednesday, May 29, 2013
What happens whenrelationships break down?Wednesday, May 29, 2013
ExplicitlyDesign Your Professional RelationshipsWednesday, May 29, 2013
The Steps1. Get out of your own wayIdentify and manage your inner critics2. Know your valuesDiscover what is important to you3. Invite co-designExplicitly design your relationship4. IterateContinue to redesign the relationship on acontinuous and ongoing basisWednesday, May 29, 2013
All us have self-sabotaging inner voices that hold usback. Their job is to preserve the status quo.The Saboteurs have all the reasons ready why this plan(whatever you are trying to do) is stupid, dangerous,hopeless, or generally an ill-advised course of action.Identify Your SaboteursWe all have them.Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The #1 SaboteurPresenting ... The JudgeThe judge sabotages us by having us feel anxiety,disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, and shame byﬁnding faults with 1) ourselves; 2) others, and 3) ourcircumstances.Thoughts:What is wrong with me?What is wrong with you?What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Perfectionist- If you can’t do it perfectly,don’t do it at all- I hate mistakesScarcity- There is not enough _______- More is better- This is just the way it isPleaser- I can’t disappoint other people- To be a good person I shouldput the needs of others ahead ofmy ownHyper-Achiever- I must be the best at what I do- I must be eﬃcient and eﬀectiveHyper-Vigilant- When is the other shoe going todrop?- If I make a mistake, I fear everyoneis going to jump down my throatController- No one tells me what to do- If I work hard enough I can controlthe situation so it goes my wayA Few Good Accomplices ...Wednesday, May 29, 2013
5 Minute Saboteur Assessmentpositiveintelligence.com/assessmentsResourceWednesday, May 29, 2013
5 Ways to Manage Your Saboteurs1. Personify the Saboteur2. Acknowledge the Saboteur3. Give the Saboteur a job todo or a place to go4. Ask the Saboteur to get outof the way5. Physically represent theSaboteur and put them awayWednesday, May 29, 2013
Think of a special peak moment when your life wasespecially rewarding or poignant. Look for values thatwere being honored.Discover Your ValuesThink of a times when you were angry, frustrated or upset.Look for values that were being suppressed.Reﬂect back in your life to someone you have greatlyadmired and describe their qualities. Listen for values.Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Now that you know your values ...• Designing your relationships• Job Interviews• Vetting clients• Managing Up• Feeling fulﬁlled in your work and lifeyou can use that knowledge for...Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Script ...Can we go out to lunch together this week? I wouldlike to discuss how to work together ...I recently learned a few things that are important tome ... what is important to you?When we work together, I would like it to feel______ ... how would you like it to feel?How do you want to behave together when things getdiﬃcult?What would really help our relationship ﬂourish?You can count on me for ______ ... what can I counton from you?Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thank You!I am available for ...UX ConsultingTeam CoachingIndividual Coachingalla@allazollers.com@azollersWednesday, May 29, 2013