ऐ खशी तू कह ाँ है
ऐ खशी तू कह ॉ है
़ु तेयी आखों भें भैंने,
तझभे ही स य जह ॉ है
़ु गभ क खौप दे ख थ ;
ढूॊढने गम ककतन ही तझको
़ु तफ भ़ुझे ऩत चर ,
न ज ने तू छऩी कह ॉ है
़ु भैं अॊधेयों भें क्मों अकर थ ,
यॊ गों क स गय को सज ने व री
े ख री ह थ रेकय जफ भैं,
ऐ खशी तू कह ॉ है
़ु घय को व ऩस ऩह़ुॉच थ ;
दननम को फस ने व री,
़ु तफ घय व रों ने भ़ुझसे,
ऐ खशी तू कह ॉ है ?
़ु तेये फ ये भें ऩ़ुछ थ ;
तेये ज ने से हभ ऩय गभ क स म है भैंने कह … श मद भैं,
न ज ने इस गभ ने तझे कह ॉ छऩ म है
़ु ़ु गरत जगह ज ऩॊह़ुच थ ;
दय-दय तक गभ क अर व ,
ू ू े
हय ऩर रगत कोई न औय दज थ ;;
भ नो तेय ऩैग भ आम है
ऩय जफ बी ऩढ़कय दे ख 'सददमों से हभ ये ऩूवज,
हभेश गभ ही ऩ म है मही ऩयॊ ऩय चर यहे है ;
खशी तेयी खशी क लरए,
़ु ़ु े
फ रयश की फॊदों क सॊग
ू े गभ से तझे फच यहे है ;
तने जो सन्दे श बेज थ
गभ क फ हय झ ॉक तो
े खशी तेयी खशी क लरए,
़ु ़ु े
भैंने उसको दे ख थ गभ से तझे फच यहे है ';
जैसे तैसे गभ को छोड़कय, कपय श मद हभ ये फच्चे,
भैं तेयी गरी भें आम थ ; मही सव र दोहय एॉगे;
रहरह ते खेतों भें जैसे, गभ से रड़त हभे दे खकय,
तझे न चते ऩ म थ ,
़ु कपय श ॊत हो ज एॉगे;
ड क घय व रों ने जफ भ़ुझ,
े कपय श मद वे ऩूछेंगे,
तेय ऩत फत म थ ; ऐ खशी तू कह ॉ है ??
यईसों क फॊगरों क फीच,
कहीॊ चौखट ऩे तझे ऩ म थ ;
़ु Rishab Agarwal
Room No 227
From the Editor’s Desk Contents
S ऐ खशी तू कह ॉ है
even Ages is finally here. Getting 2
articles isn’t that easy after all and I Some things never Change 4
learnt it the hard way. From treats to e- Socials @ IITB 5
paining (desperate times, desperate A thousand Splendid Spoons 6
measures) I tried everything and finally things The case of the killer Rat 8
worked out for the best. The magazine is in Lady of the lake 9
front of you after a long break of 20 years!!
A game-theoretic/genetic view
on female exploitation
I would take the opportunity to thank all the
contributors and hope that the tradition
Millau Bridge – An Artwork
continues. With this optimistic message I sign 14
off hoping that this issue brings a smile on Hotel seven Thirdie Awards 16
Comic Strips – Vighnesh Rege
Sketches – Debprotim Roy
Event Position Special Mention
Dramatics Main GC 5 CC, Rishab, Sajal, Paroksh, Piyush
Banku, Babaan, Edla, Ralph, Avinash
Photography GC 3 Tanmay Goswami
JAM 2 Vaibhav Unhelkar
Extempore 2 Akhil Shrivatsan
Word-Games GC 4 Akhil , Mehul Jain, Ayush Baheti
Game Points in GC Best Players
Swimming 9 Parth Choksi
Waterpolo 9 Mayank Gupta
Volleyball 2 Uday and Harshit
Carrom 2 Lizaz
Kho Kho 2 Deepak, Sagar and Amrit
Lawn tennis 2 Shantanu and Smeet
Some things never Change
T here was something horribly casual
about him. Maybe it was his gait – he
appeared to fling his arms out as he
walked. Or perhaps, it was the blank look on
his face. I couldn’t be sure what it was. He
engage in a hunger strike sometime soon.
What he is protesting against or demanding is
not exactly known. A famous actor
condemned racial attacks in general and is
now being seen as a hero by many in the
took a seat at a table quite a distance away. I nation’s press. Meanwhile his relationship
looked away. Then down at my coffee. Then with his co-star in a movie continues to make
to an Indian e-paper on my table. headlines on the 1st page of newspapers.
Several intellectuals debated the issue on a
SUNDAY, 28th AUGUST, 2050: news channel for over an hour and arrived at
the insightful conclusion that racism exists
There had been a racial attack against an because of the many races that exist in the
Indian in some faraway land X a couple of world.
weeks ago. Meanwhile, Indians back home
had been quick to respond. The Government Earlier in the year, in an attempt to emulate
condemned the attacks. The Opposition the progress of X in the automobile sector,
blamed the Government for the attacks and the Indian Government had tried to start
demanded that the Prime Minister step down work on an automobile factory in a certain
immediately. They were also quick in part of India. Activists were quick to point out
demanding that India snap cricketing ties with that farmers would have to be displaced in
X immediately, claiming that this was the best the process of building the plant. The
way to solve the issue at hand. Back home, Government assured farmers and activists
Indians were quick to burn effigies, flags and that the farmers would be shifted a few miles
cars owned by fellow Indians. A candlelight to the south of the land they currently
vigil is expected to be observed sometime occupied and also be offered jobs in the Plant.
soon. The activists then ensured that this offer look
preposterous to the farmers. Protests
Meanwhile, authorities in X were also quick to followed.
realize that Indian students accounted for a
substantial inflow of money. They will soon be Back home, Indians were quick to burn
taking all the necessary steps to woo more effigies, flags and cars owned by fellow
Indian students into X. They were also quick Indians. A candlelight vigil is expected to be
to appeal to India not to sever cricketing ties observed sometime soon.
out of fear that X’s players may not be able to
take part in any of the 12 IPL’s held in a year. I put the e-paper aside. I carefully get up
Also, some opportunistic Indian politician was ensuring that I don’t hurt my broken leg. On
quick to point out that the victim was of a my way to the counter I walk into the casual
certain caste and that Indians of another caste guy accidentally. He mutters something along
might have had something to do with the the lines of, “You Bloody Indian” and walks
attacks. Protests followed. away. Here I am – a student in X – looking for
a better future. Still here, in spite of what
Back home, Indians were quick to burn happened to me a few weeks ago.
effigies, flags and cars owned by fellow
Indians. A candlelight vigil is expected to be Some things never change.
observed sometime soon.
As a reaction to the aforementioned Room No. 132
politician’s calculative manoeuvre, a leader of Source:
one of the 100 parties in India is expected to basedonanuntruestory.wordpress.com
Socials @ IITB
I n the past, IIT-B had a tradition of
organizing ‘Socials’ Nights, in which
students of other colleges were invited to
IIT-B. A party was organized and these
students and IITians mixed and socialized. The
Having taken these issues into account, let’s
consider the other issue at hand. After our
four/five/two years in IIT, we will step out of
the institute into the outside world. We won’t
have our parents, friends, wing mates, or
responsibility of inviting these colleges often professors holding our pinkies as we walk out.
went to Soc Secretaries of the different We’ll walk out of the gates of IIT alone. To
hostels. So, the inevitable happened and avoid getting devoured by the outside world,
many girls’ colleges were called and the event it’s important to know how to live there.
disintegrated into a mass blind date. Naturally Socials Nights provide a great platform to
afraid of the consequences, and having meet people from the outside world. They
incidents to prove these consequences, the provide a great opportunity to make friends
Institute put an end to this tradition. But was from outside the institute. You’d get to meet
it necessary? totally different people, from totally different
backgrounds, living totally different lives.
To start off, guys and girls in their late teens Most importantly, you’d get to have fun, and
and early twenties have an entire pool of yes, make a few important contacts.
hormones ready to explode. What they need
is the right avenues to vent them out. What But, in defence of Status Quo, don’t we
are these avenues? Most people choose already do this? There are so many college
schmoozing and socializing with members of fests in Bombay, where participants from IIT
the opposite sex. And this is exactly where the are given importance. There’s our very own
problem begins. Everyone expected College to Mood Indigo, there’s Malhar, Kaleidoscope
be a string of parties and chicks. But the and so many more. There are other inter-
notoriously low sex ratio in IIT means that college events, where socialization can and
guys don’t really get as many opportunities as does happen. That’s the way friends are
they had expected when they were younger. made, rather than through spoon-feeding.
Hence, IITians, on an average, are a desperate Besides, is it the responsibility of the institute
bunch. I remember a friend’s friend visiting to sponsor a mass spoon-feeding session?
our campus. She was hit on by four guys in Must the institute pay for the inability of
one day. When she was here, it was like many IITians to socialize; and for their
seeing dogs fighting for a piece of meat. She, desperation to do so? The money involved is
and many others, was disgusted by this. In simply prohibitive, and the pains involved
another incident, students from IIT Delhi even more so.
groped a girl from AIIMS on stage. Even
today, their wing mates talk of that incident In conclusion, the dismal lives of many IITians
with unbridled pride rather than shame. The need a spark or two to ignite the fire. Socials
point here is that, when deans or other such Nights provided these. But the dangers
academic personnel raise issues of around organising such an event are far too
misdemeanour, their fears are anything but many to be overlooked. So, even though we
unfounded. IITians can very often be an would all love to see Xavierites and HRites in
unruly bunch; just take a seat in the Freshie our campus and love interact with them, it is
Orientations and you’ll know. And too optimistic to hope for the DoSA to change
misbehaviour on such Institute sponsored Status Quo. Especially considering how well-
nights will surely tarnish the reputation of a behaved we are.
Room No. 132
A Thousand Splendid Spoons
T he year I entered H7:
For the first time in my ‘IIT days’ I found
myself, face to face one fine day, with
“The Lady of the Lake.” Later that day, I was
amazed at the ease with which I was able to
Thence, I started calling Pizza Hut once every
two weeks even if I couldn’t find a friend for
the second pizza. Oh! The options were
numerous. The taste buds lascivious.
coin new swear words every time I referred to As the fourth month of my ‘non-messing era’
‘the Lady.’ Probably this was how every arrived I started getting sick of the once
mudblood sophie (read: not placed in H13) beautiful canteen. I could touch the oil on the
chose to spend the first few moments of his noodles, smell the onions in the biryani and
time with his new hostel (If you rolled over feel the giga-calories of the pastries. The
your bed in sleep you would only be leg in legs maggi felt dry, the pizza seemed costly and
with your roommate. The cooler of your wing the frooti was boring. I tried some new
refused to work every time it saw only three varieties in the menu. The pulao had pieces of
quarters of the moon. The LAN port of your all those vegetables that have been leftover
‘sidei’ hasn’t been working for the past four from the previous day and the Singapore rice
“comp secys” and hence his LAN cord has substituted salt with pepper. Two more
been sticking into your LAN port, he being a months into the ‘era’ saw me frequenting the
senior, for the past two “G. Secs.”) And, my neighbouring mess with shameless vigour
not-so-fair Lady had one more thing to offer: (well… I still wasn’t paying but hey… how
the lack of a mess. much can one guy eat). The sweets were
awesome. The curry was better than the
Though at first sight, it seemed a disturbing canteen masala and the lactic acid was way
thought, over the next few days it turned out better than the colourful carbonic acid.
to be a blessing in disguise: the option to go Surprisingly, I found myself checking the mess
non-messing. This meant that I pay only when construction everyday with some occasional
I eat. In my freshie year, it took me four impatient enquiries. Never before did I find
months to make a resolution that I should not myself longing for the mess so desperately.
eat in the canteen at least once a week and So, after all, a good solution for troubled
another four months to resolve that the marriages could be wife swapping
previous resolution had to be adhered to. But (yeah...that’s a bad analogy but I guess you
when I entered my new mess-less hostel it got the point). The complete exclusion from
seemed a gift. I pay the mess only when I have the mess made me realize that the mess was
decided to eat there for a change. No more indeed the best and healthiest place to eat.
anti-canteen resolutions. Not only was this in And finally the D-day came. I could hear
itself a good monetary saving but also the trumpets bellowing in the background as I
allocation of other-hostel-messes to those walked into the first lunch prepared in the
hostel mates of mine, who chose to still ‘do new mess. Seeing the mess workers beaming,
the mess’, was a bonus. On those few I beamed back at them. I dumped a whole
occasions when the mess workers lost their variety of colours into my plate and took a
form and prepared something good, I seat. Then with bated breath (and a wagging
pretended to be just another sophie, from the tongue) I savoured the first morsels made.
Lady, who was ‘messing’ with that hostel. The Wait for it… still coming… it’s… Hey, where
result: free mess-cooked pulao, mess secy the hell is the sugar in the
bought gulab-jamuns and the likes. kheer??!!@#d$^*%#*d
Introduction of ID cards for all the ‘messers’
didn’t change a thing as the mess secy didn’t The fattest year of my life:
have enough time and enthu to stick them up. Blistering barnacles!!! Thundering typhoons!!!
News about the buy-one-get-one offer from I don’t think Captain Haddock minds my
Pizza Hut mysteriously reached my ears. stealing his lines. But neither did the mess
workers mind my expletives. Within a week vendor) and took off home dreaming about
the mess degenerated into just another IITB good private mess cooked food.
mess. All my first year memories came back to
me. And the worst thing was the challan. God The worst year of my life:
damn it… they even raised the price by a Me: Abe yaar, ye mess H13 ka mess jaise kyun
grand with no escape button. nahi hain?
I tried talking myself into eating in the mess. He-who-must-not-be-named-but-part-of-
But things got worse. The canteen didn’t help. council: Are...let them settle na.
Just when I thought I was about to give up on
food my phone beeped. It was a message. Me: Do maine se settle hi ho raha hain.
Now avail Hutch Tuesday offers. Check Cricket khelna bhi shuru kiya hain par khana
website or send SMS to 5333 for more details. banana ke liye time chahiye settle hone ki.
I did and Dominos came to my rescue. That Kaise fart hain??
moment changed my life and pushed me in a
few months from L to XL to XXL. He-......il: Toh Mess Comm pe aajana. Yeh crib
udhar hi karna.
What started as an alternative soon turned
into a part of my staple diet. I wasn’t on Me: Abe, tu jaata hain na har Comm pe. Toh
Thoda Khao Thoda Khilao. I was rampaging on kamsekam tere ko achcha lag raha hain kya
Poora Khao Mat Khilao. Just in a matter of yeh sab. Har hafte mein jo kuch achcha lagta
weeks I could recall the recipes of any pizza hain woh agla hafte ki menu se nikali jaa raha
on the menu and also knew all the names of hain. Raita aur biryani alag alag din serve kar
the call centre operators. Some more weeks raha hain. Thodi din ke baad dosa aur chutney
later the operators started recognizing me bhi alag alag din pe serve karega…
even before I gave them my number. This
went on for so long that I felt one of them He-.....il: Abe...if you want to change anything
would soon invite me for his marriage. Soon then come to the mess comm. Meetings and
even the competition stepped in: Techfest crib otherwise just do your thing.
Thursdays, Garcia’s weekdays and Pizza hut’s
festive days. I had a ball… and soon became Me: Eh....what’s my thing???
I tried numerous ways to give up pizzas for
good. I crossed my heart every time before a “Room no. 164. Pizza parcel. Room no. 164.
phone call that that would be my last pizza. Pizza parcel. Come down fast”
But yet, some mysterious force kept tugging
me back into it. Especially on Tuesdays, I felt [The above article is meant only for
that the delivery boy called my room no. recreational purposes and for all situations
every time I heard a pizza parcel where it might be considered otherwise, it is a
announcement. But before I could put myself work of fiction.]
in more misery, the GSec mentioned that the
hostel’s mess was being privatised. Sri Teja
Room no. 164
This got me so excited that I thought that the
new mess would rival H13 in taste and that
would put an end to my pizza binge spree. In
fact, I talked to everyone concerned and even
wrote an article for ‘Insight’ just to make sure.
And as H7 was anyway getting a nice private
mess, I had my last pizza (err… from every
The Case of the Killer Rat
I f you thought that your quizzes and
midsems were much of a calamity, think
again. What could you come up with? –
Your girlfriend dumping you? ManU losing to
In the nights to come, the terror of this rat
reigned. Many a time, we had to sleep with
the lights on, just to have peaceful sleep. A
slight touch with any foreign object and we
would immediately wake up thinking it was
the rat. :P
Well, the calamity I am going to describe is
that of a killer rat. What? Killer and rat?? How To deal with this menace, we let Mortein Rat
could a harmless little creature like a rat, kill, the James Bond of the Rat world, take
howsoever annoying it might be, be over. But this rat was two steps ahead of us.
compared to a killer? Not a single piece of Mortein (that I so
carefully laid) came even close to being eaten.
Well it so happened that one morning at Mighty clever Rat.
around 4 am, the guy B in the next room woke
me up. B rushed into my room to warn me of Then came another of those chilly nights. Next
this monstrous creature, a rat who just bit target, my roommate C got bitten on his hand
him on the foot and having satisfied his thirst, and was literally petrified. He had had
the bloody creature jumped up the wall and enough. Not that he could do anything about
reached my room through the common it. Another dose of tetanus and another dose
window. To add to the comedy inherent in of antibiotics. No Mowgli dreams this time
this situation, this guy B was dreaming about though. It was a rat bite – plain and simple
him being in a jungle playing with lion cubs and equally bloody. The incident did teach a
(he being a sort of Mowgli). The lion cubs thing or two about gravity to this poor fella. In
were fondly licking his feet in his dream. his petrified state, he put his finger under
Suddenly one of them, seemingly offended, water, pointing downwards, expecting the
thrust his claws into B’s foot. Rattled, B blood to stop oozing out. But the cut was big
awoke, only to find the same situation, just – and this poor soul had lost his common
that it was a rat instead of the lion cub. sense.
And he saw blood – thick, red; blood all over In the meanwhile, the Rat laughed in solitude
the foot… and now in his eyes. He was baying at the helplessness of the human race. Those
for this rat’s blood. The rat had to pay up for who claimed to be the most intelligent were
his act. What followed was mad rush to catch laid out in the open - begging for mercy. But
the rat. But the monster was real quick. So did the humans give up?
after a few futile minutes we gave up.
To be continued. :D
A dose of tetanus and a few antibiotics later,
B was pacified. Convinced that the doctor Shamit Monga
was lying, the next day, he went for a Rabies Room 273
shot. So, 1 Rat bite= Rs 2000. A costly night!
Lady of The Lake
(Content of the article may or may not be related to the title)
W hilst I was still in school I had
imagined that I’d enter college on
a cool bike, have a huge bean bag
in my ‘spacious single occupancy room’ onto
which I’d crash after classes and put a zillion
these rooms is “arre, bhenc***!”, and those
were precisely the words that slipped outta
my mouth when I saw my room for the first
time. My room overlooked a seedy pestilence
stricken rose garden with crab holes (by holes
things that I could think of on download off I mean burrows) and many dead golden crabs.
torrents with downloads going on at 5-10 Being attached to the wings common
Mbps off the net. I’d imagined having a bathroom, the portion of the corridor outside
comfortable, clean and white porcelain bowl the room is usually wet and the whole place
in a sufficiently large, well illuminated room smells of pee.
with a strong door and a functional latch, the
bowl on which I’d place my ass with no time Toilets are pretty ok, just that 2 for a wing
constraints and release the demon within me. with 20+ sufficiently huge guys, filled with shit
I’d always wanted to be with an elite class of till the brim is a bit less. Besides, the toilets
people, each more intellectual and witty than are of the sort where you’ve got to make your
the other. The day I cleared JEE and figured ass hover over the stained yellow pot rather
out I’d go to IITB I felt that these dreams than comfortably place it on it.
would soon start existing in reality.
‘A pun is a shift of wit while a fart is a whiff of
Indeed, these flawlessly fabricated dreams did shit.’ At H7, one wakes up every morning to
enter reality; the bike, the huge room with the not-so-pleasant fragrance of human shit
the bean bag and everything else. But it was emanating from the polluted pond adjoining
time for me to leave reality, I entered IITB. All the hostel, Powai Lake. Studies revealed that
of a sudden, the Sandman (the guy who aided it was amongst the most polluted lakes in the
me with crafting those dreams) seemed to country, though the view from the hostel is
hate me. I enter IIT to find out it’s a university pretty.
and not a college and there are restrictions on
Mom’s often been pissed with me for the
owning and driving motor vehicles. Mom
realistic, vivid descriptions that I’d give her of
decided to get me a new yet creaky bicycle
the food we eat. “Mom, I often wonder
with no chrome at all, no cylinders, and tires
whether I just disposed it off, mostly
as thin as a cucumber. The hostel (H-4) room
effortlessly earlier this morning… Or maybe,
I was allotted was decent, just not as I had
the guys from H3 sent us a present because,
wanted it to be. It was a double occupancy
even though the food looks the same it kind
room, three-fourth the size of my room at
of tastes better today”.
home, with a 1 foot gap between the two
bed-bug infested cots in the room. This, I was It may be faulty on my part to be so critical of
informed, was the largest piece of personal everything, but that’s the way I am. Saying
living space an individual was eligible to get this, I must also acknowledge the fact that our
that too if he successfully manages to make hostel has undoubtedly the best music room
do with his roommate. I will talk about my possible. The food, compared to mess
second year here which was a major standards, is adequate and eatable (to say the
disappointment, a shock, the worst I have least). I would definitely like the hostel to
experienced in my dull and uneventful life. I arise, awake and show its true potential. All it
was allotted hostel seven, the one with the demands is a channelized effort by the council
dingiest rooms ever - with paint peeling of the and the hostel mates.
walls and a gorge in the wall with two shutters
for a cupboard. The first words which will and
should escape an IITians mouth when he sees Anonymous
A nother slothful year whizzes past you
even before you wake up and realize,
"Huh!". Well, I guess that's how college
life generally rolls. Gathering neither moss nor
any distinctive characteristics of the time
wasting a mammoth amount of nation's
subsidized educational resources, our parent's
hard earned money and our own talents
doing nothing but goofing around. This
behavior, dear friends, is called parasitic.
gone by. I mean, it's not every day that you
stop running, sit down in retrospection for a I don't mind enjoying life as such. Who does?
moment and think about where you want to This would be the last time that we ever have
take your life to and where exactly it is taking fun. After college, its job, marriage, kids,
you right now. The momentum of duties, money and roars of anger from our balding
work and responsibilities just carries you bosses (home or away). But even as we do
along with it in a slow motion, and you slug that, we can put in a little extra effort now, to
along... return the nation something worth our
education, right? And I don't mean just your
Yeah, college life isn't as pitiful as THAT. That's grades, you damned maggus! What I mean is
for the balding adults to worry about. But actually doing something objective,
then, any college going kid (kid? who am I something purposeful. Isn't the prevailing
kidding?) OK, any college going guy/gal, with attitude of “not doing”- the chief reason why
even an ounce of intelligence and a pinch of India is still considered a third world country?
ambition, would realize how heavily
unproductive he is being to society. Ditch I just wish that, for once, we try to wake up
society, he would consider what a waste he is and move before time does. Rather! I hope I
being to himself and his family! And realizing wake up and move before time does. The one
that even with such outrageous thing I've learnt lately is that it'd be more
independence, he doesn't know how life is fruitful for me to help myself to full potential
rushing past him, that even with so much time before I help others realize theirs. I guess next
to spare, he doesn't ponder over the planning, winters, I'd be back with something more
the reflection or the further course of our substantial than a "Huh!".
Unproductive?? At least unproductivity points
to zero yield. We, on the other hand, are
tipping the needle to the negative. We're Room No. 276
A game-theoretic/genetic view on female exploitation
I n evolution, how did the two sexes evolve?
There are fungi in which there are
gametes, but are not specialized and any
gamete can merge with any other. Geneticists
propose that sex selective gametes (egg and
simply do the same, as he would rather go
about impregnating more females with his
relatively cheap sperm than spending his
valuable resources on raising a single child.
sperm), which are observed in most of the To prevent this kind of cheating by a male, a
species today, evolved from similar cells. female may choose to ask for an
Millions of years ago, when there were no “engagement period” before marriage, during
sex-selective gametes, some individuals chose which she would keep an eye on the male and
to increase the size and nutrition provided by not allow him to copulate. The logic is that if
their gametes, in order to increase the chance the male is willing to spend a month for her,
of survival of its progeny. When these cells he would be more likely to take care of the
prospered, some others in the population child later too. Let us mathematically analyze
decided to cheat. They figured that they could the different strategies that can be employed
get away with producing smaller gametes, as by males and females in order to maximize
long as they ensured that their gamete fused their gains. First, let us allot some scores to
with one of the larger cells. To ensure this, the various factors in the game:
they developed higher mobility by providing
+15: Score for successful birth and full growth
the gametes with a tail. These individuals also
of progeny. Positive because the individual's
had an advantage since they could produce a
genes are propagated
larger number of gametes (since each gamete
now needs lesser resources), and hence -20: Penalty for taking care of the child. It is
ensure that their genes reach the next negative because resources are needed to
generations. The individuals with raise the child. This can be shared between
intermediate size died out, since they enjoyed the two parents.
none of the advantages of these two cells.
The larger cell evolved into egg, and the -3: Penalty for the engagement period. It is
smaller tailed cell into a sperm. Hence male negative, since some time is wasted in this.
and female sexes evolved. The male cell
apparently is a good for nothing slacker, Let us also define certain “strategies” which
taking advantage of the generosity of the can be adopted by a male or a female. Note
female. And thus begins female exploitation. that these are not conscious strategies, but
inherent behaviour, which is determined by
Let us come to the present, and consider the the genes. The individual with the successful
individuals of a species in which the sex behaviour survives, and his genes are passed
selection procedure is properly evolved. Once on to the next generation.
the child is conceived, it must be taken care
of. Both the male and female have a vested Possible strategies for the male are
interest in the survival of the child, since their
Faithful: These males agree to an engagement
genes propagate in this way. Hence ideally,
period, and also take care of the child after
they should both help in raising it. However,
the female has made a bigger “investment” in
Casanova: These males do not agree to the
the child, since she has produced the egg,
engagement period, nor do they take care of
which requires larger resources to make.
Hence the male might be tempted to run
Possible strategies for the female are
away, leaving the female with the baby in her
Coy: She asks for an engagement period.
hand to take care of. She will have to take
Fast: She does not ask for an engagement
care of the baby, since she has a lot to lose if
the baby does not survive. The female cannot
run away, as if she does, the male would
The payoff matrix now looks like this: population comes again to be dominated by
faithfuls and coys. By the above discussion, it
Coy Fast may seem that the population keeps
Faithful M:15–10–3 = +2 M: 15 – 10 = +5 oscillating between the different
F: 15–10–3 = +2 Female: +15 – 10 = combinations of male and female strategies.
+5 In reality, however, an equilibrium condition
Casanova Male: 0 M: +15 is achieved.
Female: 0 Female: +15 – 20 = At equilibrium, no individual can be better off
-5 by switching to the rival strategy, because if
he could, he would, and then that would be
When all males of a population are faithful the equilibrium. Let us then calculate the
and all females coy, they share the work, but equilibrium.
waste some time in the engagement period. At equilibrium,
Hence they both get a score of +2 and live
happily ever after. Ah, but there is a catch . Fraction of faithful males = r
Now suppose that just one fast female arises
in the population. She does not want an Fraction of Casanova males = 1-r
engagement period, hence does not get the -3
Fraction of coy females = q
for that. Since all males are faithful, they still
raise the children, so the -20 is shared. Hence Fraction of fast females = 1-q
the average payoff for a fast female is +5,
instead of the +3 which a coy female gets.
Since she is more successful, the number of
Expected payoff for a faithful =
fast females in the population rises, and after
Expected payoff for a Casanova
a few generations, all females in the
population are fast. So all males are faithful 2q + 5 (1 – q) = 0q + 15 (1 – q)
and all females are fast. They both get a
payoff of +5, and live happily. But not yet. q = 10/12 = 83%
Suppose now that a Casanova male rises in
the population. All females are fast and do Expected payoff for a coy =
not ask for an engagement period. So he Expected payoff for a fast
copulates, but leaves as soon as the baby is 2r + 0 (1 – r) = 5r + (-5) (1 – r)
born. He gets +15, but does not pay any
penalty. The fact that the poor female is left r = 5/8 = 62.5%
high and dry is of no consequence to the
genes of the male. So in a population of fast Hence, at equilibrium population, there are
females, a Casanova is immensely successful, 83% coy females, 17% fast females and 62.5%
as he gets a +15 compared to the +5 of the faithful males, 37.5% Casanova males.
faithful. Hence after a couple of generations,
Now let’s look at what the average payoffs
the population consists of Casanovas and fast
are for males and females.
females. The poor female now gets an
average payoff of -5. Now if a coy female Male = 2q + 5 (1 – q) = 15 (1 – q) = 5/2 = 2.5
arises, she asks for an engagement period, to
which none of the male agree. She hence gets Female = 2r = 5r – 5 (1 – r) =5/4 = 1.25
an average payoff of 0, which may seem low,
but is still better than the -5 which a fast Hence at equilibrium, fast and coy females
female would get. Hence coy females prosper, have equal payoff, and faithful and Casanova
and in a few generations, the population has males have equal payoff. However there is a
coy females and Casanova males. The cycle is built-in asymmetry in the system, in the fact
completed when we observe that a faithful that the average female payoff is less, and
male (+2) does better than a Casanova (0) in significantly less, than the average male
presence of a large coy population. Hence the payoff.
I shall not be tempted to draw any moral or can defy nature, and rectify its mistake. And in
ethical conclusion from this discussion. In fact, fact we must defy nature in this regard;
I never even mentioned human beings in the otherwise we are no better than animals, the
whole discussion. All I would say however, blind servants of nature and Darwinian
that as human beings, we have the ability to evolution.
defy what nature tells us to do. Hence even if
nature deals an unfair hand to women, we Ravi Bhoraskar
...on the new trend of personalized naming
Disclaimer: The following article is full of nonsensical stuff – the IITian fatte as we like to call it. Not
meant for the distressed soul. The author does not take any responsibility for any sightings (or un-
sightings, for that matter) of hostelites jumping into the Powai Lake after reading this article. Read at
your own risk.
hat’s in a name!”?
Who thinks so? I mean I know Shakespeare said so, but really? I wrote a blog
post on this a few weeks ago, which I thought to include here but then for
the sake of humanity, I didn’t (I can hear resonating cries of ‘Thank God’s
My point is that if name wasn’t so important why the hype behind wing names. Imagine a gaali fight
with people screaming, “2nd Block 1st Floor Lake Side ki maa ka ...”
Talking about gaali fights, look at how apt the name “apni wing” is – apt for the wingies that is. No
one would be screaming at the top of their lungs “apni wing ki maa ka...”
In fact, there are more serious benefits to the name. The name Apni (or Apne, as per the context)
can also be extended to wing treats – Apni Treat, the wingies – Apne log, the wing sweatshirt – Apni
sweatshirt and so on. Moreover, the sense of oneness and unity you feel with the name is
inexplicable. (Yeah OK, enough already, I know!)
This brings us to point where I tell you how this innovative name came into being. Or it doesn’t
actually. Come on! If you really thought I am gonna give it away to you so easily...sorry rahega dost.
P.S: If you still want to read my blog posts (which I assure you have less of fatte but probably more
boring) drop me an email at email@example.com.
P.P.S: No hate mails please. From next time onwards, take disclaimers seriously (:P)
Room No. 160
Millau Bridge – An Artwork Amidst Clouds
fficially called as “le Viaduc de The major scare involved in this
Millau”, Millau Bridge is an apt unconventional method of rolling the parts of
example of the employment of the bridge was of impoper meeting in the
modern construction techniques. It is a 2.5 centre.But fortunately, the calculations of the
km. long suspension bridge built near the experts hit a bull's eye.
French town Millau and Creissels. At 300m After the rolling, came the task of installing
(984ft) height, it is also the tallest vehicular the masts on the deck. The 90 m high masts
bridge. were erected in a very unique manner. They
were first brought onto the deck horizontally
Design and Construction: till their point of erection. Then, in a prefectly
The idea to be employed here was of pylons, co-ordinated swinging motion, the masts
masts and stays.The seven masts, each 87 m were made vertical just above their ideal
(290 ft) high and weighing around 700 metric point of anchorage!!!
tons (770 short tons), are set on top of the Mounting the stays(cables) on the masts was
pylons. Between each of them, eleven stays a mammoth task. Each mast would have
(metal cables) are eleven pair of stays
anchored, providing such that each pair is
support for the road face to face i.e.
deck. The traditional diametrically opposite.
method of building a Each stay comprised of
suspension bridge 45-91 steel cables
involves separately depending on their
building sections of length and was given
the deck and then huge amount of
positioning them. But protection from
the extreme height corrosion. The 1500
factor involved here tonnes of stretched
called for an innovative method. Initially the cables were coated throughout with a double
towers were erected in the usual manner with helical weatherstrip. All this was done to save
steel reinforced concrete. The road(deck)was the stays from water. Contact with water, in
then built on either side of the valley and high winds, would cause vibrations and jerks
rolled into position, until it met with precision in the stays leading to the instability of the
in the centre. The method stood the acid test, deck.
inspite of the hazards involved. In laying the road, a surface of modified
By the earlier part of 2002, the masts had bitumen was laid as it had the flexibility to
started rising toward the skies. The cope with the deformations of the steel deck
earthworks aspect and the concrete work without cracking. Finally the bridge was
were completed within time. After the opened for the public on 16 December, 2004,
erection of the piers, the steel deck had to be prior to its estimated opening date of 10
rolled on to the piers from both sides January, 2005. The bridge appears to float on
synchronizing their meeting at the centre. the clouds despite the fact that it has seven
pillars and a roadway of 1½ miles in length.
The Viaduct Effect: It is the highest road bridge deck in the
There has been an 'economic boom' in Millau world, having a height of 270 mts. above
since the opening of the bridge. the Tarn River at its highest point. It is
The precise blend of the nature and nearly twice as tall as the previous tallest
technology leaves the tourists in a state of vehicular bridge in Europe, the
frenzy. On first sight, the impression is of Europabrucke in Austria.
boats sailing on a sea of mist. The roadway The total length of the roadway is 2460
threads through the seven pillars like thread mts. (155 miles)
through the eye of a needle.The bridge looks The steel deck weighs 36,000 tonnes which
almost an extension of the surrounding is 5 times that of the Eiffel Tower.
serene nature. Sir Norman Foster, perhaps, The Millau Bridge is expected to be
had the same thing in mind when he said, "A dethroned as the highest by the Chenab
work of man must fuse with nature. The Bridge, Jammu & Kashmir whose
pillars had to look almost organic, like they construction was expected to be
had grown from the earth" completed by December, 2009.
290,000 metric tons.
Facts and statistics:
The bridge won the 2006 IABSE
One of the masts of the bridges has a
Outstanding Structure Award.
staggering height of 343 mts. (1125 ft.),
slightly taller than the Eiffel Tower.
It also boasts the highest pylons in the Room No 151
world, having heights 244.96 mts. and
Hostel 7 Thirdie Awards
wards are a great way to motivate people. And motivating people is a noble cause. So, I take
up this responsibility to honour my batchmates from the hostel with a few innovative (read
as cooked up) awards.
Best Secy Award: Manuraj Meena aka. Manu – for working as a sports secy inspite of being
Best Co. Award: SP aka. Sattu – for living up to his initials SP (Superintendent of Police) and
terrorizing not only the cult secies of H7 but all the other secies too.
Invisibility Award: GT aka. Gaurav Toshniwal – Yes! He is from H7. Ever seen him here?
Babe of the Batch Award: Arpan Jain – This award is a carryover from the last year when he
flamboyantly exposed his gorgeous waist wearing a ghaghra-choli in our gyrations
Award for Excellence in Diplomacy: Manan Bohra – The reason is known to the last year's
H7 council and you should hear it from one of them to know it best.
Latest Prospective Affair Award: Shamit Monga – Shhhh!! Dont tell anybody.
Mister H7 (Thirdie) Award: Saransh Mahajan – Based on a sample survey conducted in
Hostel 10. For the others, no offence.
True Ghati Award: Jayesh Kumar - He goes home everyday. You read it right, EVERY DAY!
Devdas Award: Kapil Yadav – He almost did a Devdas after he proposed to a Japanese
waitress on his intern and was turned down. For the name and photograph of this Japanese
Paro, contact Kapil.
People who think they or some of their friends have not got their deserved awards, can send their
recommendation to me for the next issue by mail.