The Parental Alienation Syndrome and How to Counter Its 3 Different Levels of Parental Alienation.
==== ====The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parentshttp://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT==== ====Parental Alienation; the programming of a child by a parent to turn the child against the otherparent has three levels of alienation mild, moderate, and severe. As the alienation increases thenegative behavior of the children towards the targeted parent also increases. The percentage ofchildren having access and parenting time (visitation) with the alienated parent decreases.In a case study of thirty highly conflicted divorce and custody cases, submitted by the courtsinvolving fifty nine children was evaluated to determine the existence of Parental AlienationSyndrome. This is when the child aligns with the alienating parent, adopts their views, joins in thedefaming of the target parent and rejects that parent citing frivolous and irrational reasoning.Countering Parental Alienation Syndrome will take the knowledge of Parental Alienation andfinesse.This must be confronted to increase the chances for the target parent in reuniting and maintaininga meaningful relationship with their children. Janelle Burrill compiled, analyzed and evaluated thedata for one year (2000-2001) from the cases that were submitted from a two year period (1998-2000). In the study twenty two children were listed under the mild alienation category, seventeenin the moderate category, and twenty in the severe.The children listed under the mild alienation category show that eighty two percent of themexpressed affection for the targeted parent. None of them had any anger towards or denigrated(disrespect and reject) the parent. Ninety five percent had parenting-time with the target. With mildalienation there is some cynicism of the target parent. This generally arises from a persons lack ofrestraint in making negative remarks about the target. They tend to react in this manner when theyare hurt, angry, and feel personally attacked. For example, when parents first separate mom isfeeling anxious and will implicitly convey to the children that their father is a bad person suggestingthat it is not safe to be with him. She may say something to the effect of, "If you get scared or arenot having fun call me right away and I will come and get you and bring you home."Dad may say something like, "Remember to tell your mother that you want to spend more timewith me," Suggesting that their mom is trying to separate them from each other. Generally, thisbehavior from the parents is done so they can look like they are the better parent to be with andthat something is wrong with the other one.In the scenario with mom the children start to question if they are safe to be with their father. Withdad they can start to believe their mother is trying to estrange them from their dad. Usually whenyou point out the alienation to the alienating parent they feel ashamed that their behavior isnegatively affecting the children and that they did not have enough self-control to refrain fromdistributing alienation.
Parents and children in this category normally have a good relationship. The parents who handsout the alienation usually are unaware they are doing it. It is a behavior that has not beenaddressed so it can be corrected. These parents are usually willing to modify their behavior tobenefit the children. The recognizable denigration traits in mild alienation are sighing indisapproval, rolling the eyes in contempt, ignoring, disrespect, snide or sarcastic remarks, anddefaming the target parent. To defuse the alienation explain to the children why people will makethose kinds of gestures and bad-mouth another person. Let them know it comes from when theyfeel disrespected, rejected, hurt by a person, and that they lack self-control and respond inundesirable ways to validate themselves.In the moderate alienation category the percentage of children who had parenting-time with thetarget parent drops significantly from ninety five percent down to sixty five percent. The samepercentage of children also expressed affection for the target parent with fifty nine percent of themexpressing anger towards the target and joining in the denigration of that parent.With moderate alienation the alienating parents have difficulty keeping their composer when thingdo not go their way or feel threatened. Like the belief their counterpart is trying to take the childrenaway from them. They will increase the alienation when their anxiety escalates in an effort to keepwhat they perceive is rightfully theirs. When they lose control they go ballistic disregardingappropriate boundaries, including the fear their behavior produces in the children.When, they calm down the alienating parent has a hard time taking responsibility for their actions.But, there is hope. Some of these parents in this category can be persuaded to develop their self-control with anger management, therapy, and parenting classes. These parents love their childrenand want to be a good parent and be viewed as one. But rarely will they volunteer to get help.They blame the other parent for their problems and believe the other parent is the problem.If they do not modify their behavior then the only remedy is to get a court order for therapy andtreatment. With moderately alienated children are hesitant to spend time with the target parent.They have some fear of the target parent due to the alienating parents repeatedly defaming thetarget in an effort to get the children to get to accept their views about the target parent and toalign with them.To remedy this level of alienation with the children there needs to be an environment where theyfeel safe and comfortable with the target parent. A therapist can arrange to provide for this. Theparent then need to listen to the children without being judgmental, empathize with their feeling,acknowledge their concerns, and let them know the conflict is between the parents and they donot have to choose either parents side. They should not have to reject one parent to please theother parent. They should be able to love both without having a loyalty conflict.Bring to the attention of the alienating parent the harmful effects the alienation is having on thechildren because they are conflicted on how to please both parents without displeasing either oneof them. Moderate alienation ascends from emotional charged events. The parent feels they havebeen wronged and react destructively. Afterwards they are embarrassed of their behavior andmight be willing to work on not involving the children to even the score for the wrong they believewas done to them. If there is unsatisfactory improvement and willingness on the part of thealienating parent in correcting their behavior, which is often the case, the target will need to get acourt order for family counseling and treatment.
In the severe alienation category forty five percent of the children expressed affection for the targetparent, ninety percent had anger towards the target, and sixty percent join in the denigration of theparent. Only fifteen percent of the children had any parenting-time with the target parent. Withsevere alienation there are no-holds-barred attacks on the targets character and the alienator isobsessed with destroying the relationship the children has with the target parent to inflict emotionalpain on the target. Because they have deep-rooted distorted beliefs about the target parent andoperate from a delusional system of thinking they are hindered from listening to reason.There is no effective way for treating severe alienation. To minimize the influence of the alienatingparent and harm the alienation causes the children is to reduce or remove them from the care ofthe alienating parent which will take legal intervention. At this level of alienation the children alignswith the alienating parent, adopt their distorted views about the target, and join in the campaign tosevere the relationship they have with the target parent. This is where Parental Alienation istransformed into Parental Alienation Syndrome.A couple of signs of severe alienation are the childrens refusal to participate in parenting-time withthe target parent even if it is court order, an automatic alliance with the alienating parent whenconflict arises between the parents, and they join in rejecting and defaming the target parent. Theyback up their claims with weak, frivolous and illogical explanations, and insist that their views aretheir own and are not influenced by the alienating parent.The way to counter severe alienation is to obtain a court order for a parenting plan, therapy, andparticipation in treatment. It is necessary to get the order so the therapist can work with the familyto resolve, reduce, or at the very least stymie the alienation. At this level of alienation thealienating parent objective is to hurt the target parent by any means including using the children.The children need to be shown that they have been exposed to the alienation, participated in thedenigration, and how it negatively affects the relationship they have with the target parent. Oncethe cause of the childrens alienation from a parent is identified then an expert mental healthprofessional can provide an appropriate treatment plan to reunite the parent and children.http://www.visionsx1.wordpress.comArticle Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sam_Vigil
==== ====The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parentshttp://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT==== ====