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Holding your own! Using Assertiveness to communicate with power and get your ideas heard.

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Have you ever struggled to deal with a colleague or friend who is either aggressive or insistent that their approach is the only correct one? Did you consider either being passive, or maybe going over the top to be just as aggressive as they are? Modern research with over 4,800 individuals shows Assertiveness too be among the top five personal attributes most highly correlated to success in business and personal life. This program will make you aware of the habits and behaviors which foster strong communication and high levels of team work, and enhance your personal leadership brand. The program will also alert you to habits which inhibit others from really hearing you and supporting your critical ideas.

This workshop will help you :

Learn how to integrate assertiveness into a powerful leadership style
Understand what research tells us about the relationship of assertiveness to overall success in life and business
Understand which personal traits either drive or inhibit your assertiveness
Communicate forcefully in a way that commands respect while encouraging open dialogue
Deal with overtly aggressive colleagues and friends

Published in: Business, Technology
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Holding your own! Using Assertiveness to communicate with power and get your ideas heard.

  1. 1. Using Assertiveness to communicate with power and get your ideas heard 1
  2. 2. Ascendent Leadership Practice Profile }  Leadership development }  Team effectiveness }  Emotional intelligence }  Coaching as a leadership skill
  3. 3. Please choose your single most important outcome from today’s webinar: }  }  }  }  }  Integrating assertiveness into a powerful leadership style Understanding the relationship of assertiveness to success Understand traits which drive or inibit assertiveness Communicate in a way that commands respect, allows open dialogue Deal with overtly aggressive colleagues and friends 4
  4. 4. }  }  }  How do we define assertiveness? How do our behaviors and beliefs enable or inhibit our assertiveness? How can we develop our assertiveness?
  5. 5. Passive Avoids confrontation Hides feelings, beliefs Ineffective communication of emotion Emotionally dependent May shortchange company Assertive Expresses feelings Firm and direct Expresses beliefs, thoughts, wants openly Stands up for personal rights without aggression, abuse Aggressive Is abusive Attacks Demeans Manipulates Insists on rightness
  6. 6. Interpersonal Self Regard Empathy Influence Assertiveness Emotional Expression Impulse Control (Stein, 2011 )
  7. 7. Assertiveness: Express feelings, beliefs, thoughts and wants in a non-­destructive way Self Regard: Respecting and accepting one’s strengths and weaknesses Empathy: Recognizing, understanding, appreciating feelings of others Interpersonal relationships: Developing and maintaining mutually satisfying relationships Emotional Expression: Expressing one’s feelings verbally and non-­verbally Impulse Control: Resisting or delaying an impulse, drive, or temptation to act (Stein, 2011 )
  8. 8. What actions do you associate with assertiveness? 11
  9. 9. Performance Impact
  10. 10. Overall Work Success Top five EQ scales correlated with success Self Actualization Happiness Optimism Self Regard Assertiveness 13
  11. 11. Occupations – Assertiveness in Top 5 Overall Work Success General sales Insurance sales Business services Retail sales Other sales Financial services Customer service Personnel, HR Management Consultants Business managers Public servants Religious workers Social workers Lawyers (Stein, 2011 ) 14
  12. 12. Other benefits correlated with strong assertiveness Self regard Employee, team engagement Trust Happiness Interpersonal relationship Innovation Safety Integrity Mission focus Teamwork, Collaboration Acceptance of change … your examples… 15
  13. 13. How do your actions enable your assertiveness?
  14. 14. Have confidence in yourself Be known for doing what you say you will do Have a basis for your view Stay in relationship Master your stories Strike when the iron is cool Speak for yourself, only Don’t assume your view is the only or correct one Make your non-verbals consistent with your words Use humor with care Assess: Is this the time?
  15. 15. 1.  Do I know something my boss doesn’t know, but needs to? 2.  Is time running out? 3.  Are my responsibilities at risk? 4.  Can I help my boss/team win? Make hay while the sun shines – that’s smart; Go fishing during the harvest – that’s stupid. Proverbs 10:5 1.  Am I promoting my own personal agenda? 2.  Have I already made my point? 3.  Must everyone but me take the risk? 4.  Is the timing right only for me? 5.  Does my request exceed our relationship? 6.  Does the atmosphere say no? (Maxwell 2005)
  16. 16. Beliefs can be enabling or limiting
  17. 17. Managing Limiting Beliefs (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  18. 18. Managing Limiting Beliefs Consequences (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  19. 19. Managing Limiting Beliefs Activate Consequences (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  20. 20. Managing Limiting Beliefs Activate Beliefs Consequences (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  21. 21. Managing Limiting Beliefs Activate Beliefs Consequences Debate, Dispute (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  22. 22. Managing Limiting Beliefs Activate Beliefs Consequences Debate, Dispute Effects (Stein, 2011 - Adapted from Albert Ellis, Rational Emotive Behavior Theory)
  23. 23. Assertiveness
  24. 24. Signature Strengths Weaknesses Define the benefit Define the impact Ways to leverage Prioritize Validate Mitigate Delegate
  25. 25. Strengths Weaknesses Recruit a coach, partner Strengthen further Define the impact Look for ways to leverage Develop Mitigate Delegate
  26. 26. Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Time-bound Attend webinar þ Only an hour Abstract seems right on Jan 22
  27. 27. Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Time-bound Attend webinar þ Only an hour Abstract seems right on Jan 22
  28. 28. Kerry Patterson, J. G., Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (2002). Crucial Conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high. New York, McGraw-Hill. Kerry Patterson, J. G., Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (2005). Crucial Confrontations: Tools for resolving broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior. New York, McGraw Hill. Maxwell, J. C. (2005). The 360-degree leader: developing your influence from anywhere in the organization. Nashville, Thomas Nelson, Inc. Paterson, R. J. (2000). The Assertiveness Handbook: How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships. Oakland, CA, New Harbinger Publications. Steven J. Stein, H. E., Bock (2011). The EQ Edge: emotional intelligence and your success, 3rd Edition, Josey Bass.
  29. 29. To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. Robert Louis Stevenson
  30. 30. Thanks!
  31. 31. Ascendent Leadership

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