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Leadership begins with responsibility


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My keynote talk from Agile Saturday XIII in Estonia, about The Responsibility Process and leadership.

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Leadership begins with responsibility

  1. 1. Leadership begins with responsibility Ari Tanninen 13th Agile Saturday, Tallinn May 6th 2017 “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." — Lewis L. Dunnington
  2. 2. Image: pixabay
  3. 3. What is responsibility?
  4. 4. Image: Wikimedia Commons / United States Navy
  5. 5. The Responsibility Process Denial Lay Blame Justify Shame Obligation Responsibility Quit Upset or problem
  6. 6. The Responsibility Process • Mental states triggered automatically when we get upset • Coping strategies / comfort zones to alleviate anxiety • Key idea: push through them to get to true responsibility • Based on 20+ years of studies by Bill McCarley and Christopher Avery • Natural and human
  7. 7. Step Symptoms Diagnosis (in your head) Remedy (the way to feeling better) Responsibility “I choose to” Feeling powerful Feeling ownership Results that matter The problem may be an effect of a larger issue I am missing something from the big picture Somehow I contributed to the issue The problem is how my mind sees the problem Face the pain Look for truth & root issue Solve the root issue for good Quit "Whatever", cynical comments Denying you want it Feeling incomplete, longing No results This is so painful I can’t take it I can’t do anything Give up Disengage mentally Chocolate ice-cream or red wine Obligation “We should”, “I must” Procrastination, resentment Minimal results I have no choice I am trapped I have to but I don’t want to Do the bare minimum and get it over with Shame “I am so stupid” Feeling guilt It’s my fault and I deserve to suffer I can’t do anything I need to change Justify “That’s just how things are” Venting The situation is responsible I can’t do anything Situation needs to change Lay Blame “X is such a…” Venting X is responsible I can’t do anything X needs to change Denial “Problem? What problem?”
  8. 8. Self-apply only • Easy to see in others but very difficult to see in yourself • Demonstrate rather than impose • Demand responsibility —> obligation, shame • Demand responsibility of yourself —> obligation, shame • One can only act from Responsibility if it’s their free choice Image: Wikimedia Commons / National Nuclear Security Administration “All leadership beginswith self-leadership.”— Christopher Avery
  9. 9. Acknowledge mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on! Image: Wikimedia Commons
  10. 10. Denial Lay Blame Justify Shame Obligation Responsibility Quit Power cycle Control cycle
  11. 11. Control Cycle What is right? What should I do? Advice This is bad! This is wrong! How do I get back in control? Evaluation Choosing control I just have to follow these rules/checklist/ policy to get back in control! Compliance
  12. 12. Kuva: pixabay
  13. 13. Power Cycle Choosing power I am missing something. What is going on? How did I contribute to this? What do I feel and need? What false belief or assumption I am holding? Looking Aha! Clarity I can deal with this! I want to deal with this! Trust
  14. 14. Kuva: pixabay
  15. 15. Denial Lay Blame Justify Shame Obligation Responsibility Quit Problem Choosing power Looking Clarity Trust Advice Evaluation Choosing control Compliance
  16. 16. Three keys to Responsibility • Intent to operate from responsibility when upset, and to refuse to operate from lay blame, justify, shame, or obligation • Awareness of my mental states, myself, others, and my environment • Confront myself and reality to see what is true
  17. 17. Some tools • Journalling • Meditation • Catch it quicker game • Observing others • Invite trusted friends to remind you • Practice groups Image: flickr / Andy Ciordia
  18. 18. Accountability vs. Responsibility
  19. 19. Denial Lay Blame Justify Shame Obligation Responsibility Quit{ “Shame on you!” “You must apologize!” Mental states endorsed by society “How can you be so stupid!” “If you don’t clean your room, mommy feels sad.” “Give that cookie back to your brother!” { “Stop making excuses and take responsibility!” Mental states renounced by society “No one likes a whiner!” “Are you avoiding responsibility?” “Man up!”
  20. 20. Advice Evaluation Choosing control Compliance Problem
  21. 21. Image: flickr / kirsten
  22. 22. Image: flickr / kirsten
  23. 23. Leaderhip begins with the words “I want”.
  24. 24. Responsibility cannot be forced. Control suffocates. Organization inherits leader’s mental state. Lead by example. Choose responsibility and the power cycle. Leadership begins with leading yourself. Therefore
  25. 25. freedom ease power choice compulsion anxiety impotence no choice
  26. 26. Have compassion! We are just human, after all. Image: flickr / Ben Francis
  27. 27. “Responsibility is owning your power and ability to create, choose, and attract your life.” — Christopher Avery
  28. 28. Load a poster: The Responsibility Process by Christopher Avery (7 min)