BODY LANGUAGE IN SOCIAL SETTINGS
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J%}'5D: w%. 1. PERSONAL SPACE
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I. PERSIINAL SPACE 0

Most people have on certain
our space or portable ‘our bubble’ around their bodies that TIAZI4 claim as their personm space.

How four the space exrends
depends rnainig on how crowded The condiiions were, in which then were roused and the Iocoi popuiodion densin/3. pp: p . (<. ! .1 "2 _, 15‘ . ‘, . —v _ _. 4 _ 9 ‘Alt A _{J Aug . I 9.. ‘ , ‘_ .4 ‘ V’ ' '5" ' ‘. -,~. - .3-_ . '."""- ~. «- I: f "' +, -.‘ r %“; "'~}*: l-‘(IV ‘i ~/ ‘in “v -#2,; ‘H’. . . ‘7,'-f; _,"r. f"* :1 - . V} K: _‘ ‘ I 7’ i, K ‘ :3 x‘. .

American anthropologist cdward Hall was
one of the pioneers in ’/ the stvdig of man's spatiai needs i and in the eariig Moos, he coined 1 the word 'proxennics', from «~ e i 'proxinnit«4' or nearness.

He found that people's territorial
responses are primitive, deepln rooted and to an extent, predictable (it gov know what to look tori.

ZIINE DISTANCES Intimate <15-4scm> Personal
((1.45 — i.22m) §@@fig][| li.28=-will [PlllAiflfi@ A>33lfiIIiA

‘the MTVOJ radius 01° the
‘air bl/ bble' maxg be cvltvralllg determined but then will be proportionatellg the same as the ones discussed here.

THE INTIMATE ZllNE is between
6 and 18 inches (15 - 45 cm). of all the zone distances, this is by far the most important, as it is this zone that a person guards as if it were his own property.

llnly those who are emotionally
close to us are permitted to enter. These include lovers, parents, spouse, children close friends, relatives and pets.

There is a suh-zone that
extends up to ll inches (l5cm) from the body that can he entered only during intimate physical contact. This is the close Intimate Zone.

THE PERSONAL ZllNE is between
18 inches and 48 inches (0.46 - 1.22 m). This is the distance that we stand from others at cocktail parties, office parties, social functions and friendly gatherings.

THE SOCIAL ZONE is between
4 and I2 feet (1.22 - 3.00 m). We stand at this distance from strangers, the plumber or carpenter doing repairs around our home, the postman, the local shopkeeper, the new employee at work and people whom we don't know very well.

THE PUBLIC ZONE is overl2
feet (> 3.0m). Whenever we address a large group of people, this is the comfortable distance at which we choose to stand.

All TVIZSO dlS1' M1683 tend
1'0 reduce DCTWMII TWO WOWWI (Mid llO0YZO. S8 MTWMH TWO WWI.

of course, all these zones
are invisible to us and to others, but that doesnt malae them anl/3 less real

Few of us are comfortable
in a crowded subwalg train or elevator, where we are forced into an intimate distance with people we don't know.

in those cases, we usuallg
look straight ahead and avoid making ege OOTITOOT.

Also, as strangers edge into
our personal space, we will often lean or move awag from them in an attempt to create an acceptable distance.

Above all else, space ‘
can varg depending ~. ~“ on the amount of trust in a relationshlp — the smaller the distance, the higher the level of trust.

B”3'"E33 10"‘ L‘ I/ 0STWLOS1'eYfilZOd
business relationships I A I begin in the social cone. ( *. l . <__+: ,_

As the relationships develop and
trust is formed, both parties mag subconsciouslg decrease the distance to the

when people are not aware
of these zones and the meanings attached to them, unintentional violations mag occur, resulting in discomfort and distrust ‘~. _I. R.T’~/

I / . I '
l , l ' -" -v 1, . I ‘ I Y I’ N (O l l‘ y/ f ,1, At times. a competitor mag purposefullg stand too close to make the other partlg feel self-conscious or uncomfortable.

ROg(LYdiOSS Of’ TVOiY WIOTTVO, O!
iigOfiO WiO OOTVIOS TOO OLOSO TO lgOU in an WidOSiYO. biO Wdllg TYIQQOYS (L PVlgSiOiO@iOOli YOdOTIOfi= lgOUY VOdYT TOTO Mid QOJVOIIIO Skill YOSPOTISOS ITIOYOOSO.

You then trg to restore
the proper distance bg withdrawing and retreating

You mag look awag or
pull back to create space,

tuck in gour chin toward
gour chest in an instinctive move of protection,

You then trg to restore
the proper distance bg wlthdrawlng and retreating. YOU tViOlg LOOK OWO. lg OY PUN bOOi< TO OYOOTO SPOOO. Tl. /OK ili I/ JOW Oi’lli TOWOI’d lgOUY Oi’OST ifi Olli lliSTiliOTiVO VYIOVO OT PYOTOOTIOIL step behind a barrier (desk, chair, or table),

You then trg to restore
the proper distance bg withdrawing and retreating. YOU ll/ iOlg LOOK OWOJg OY PUN DOOK TO OYOOTO SPOOO. 5% tuck in gour chin toward gour chest - in an instinctive move of protection, .46? . L.- step behind a barrier (desk, chair, or table), A L or even rub gour neck so that gour elbow protrudes sharplg toward the invader.

This shows that proximitg is
a powerful nonverbal force and that most people need to increase their sensitivitg in using it. / ,2;

if gou want people to
feel comfortable around gov, the golden rule is - KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

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. Qt: . sguare tables
are ideal for short, direct conversations. ‘VI

Round tables give evergone seated
an egual amount of power and prominence.

Rectangular tables enable people to
have their own edges, egual space, and evergone at the table can take a stance on a particular subject, although those at the shorter sides (the head) of the table are in a dominant position.

If‘; I’ where gou sit
in relation to other people is an effective wag of obtaining co-operation from them.

therefore, before gou seat gourself
or direct people where gou want them to sit, think about the outcome gou want to have as a result of the people ' interacting.

RELAXEO SETTINO sitting with the
corner of a rectangular table between gou and another person encourages relaxed, friendlg conversation.

SITI-Ifig WITI/ l . table
ben ' encourages lt diffuses tension and promotes a positive attitude.

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«/1 ‘ / ,— . _f' I I V ‘ A __ N 1’ . - . : ' k_. :1’ »: ;:__. ~ _ _ AL‘ , —— : ——— » ‘~ __ ~—_. av 714:. l , , 1 ‘I You can clearlg see one another and open room exists for gesturing.

/~ TVIIOTOOWIOY OI’ TI’O dOSI4
SOTVOS OSTO SUbTIO bO. YYIOY, Ifi OOSO IT'S l‘iOOdOd. . .

subtte barrier in case it's
needed. ’ d ‘this position also denotes an even division of space with both people on an ea/ al fooling

AHAHA (t , COOPERATINC when
gou work on a task with another person, or if gou find that gou and someone else think along the same lines, goure more than likelg to find gourselves sitting side bg side.

.. .v"" -‘T. 7 I
. /'3, ‘this position enab a ‘- IOS lgOUTO IOOIQ OOSIIIg OT UIOUY POTTHOY. , — 44, I

You can also reflect the
other persons behaviour from this close position.

W‘YOfi IgOU IfiTYOdUOO O TI’ITd
POYSOTI TO TI(O OOOPOYOITTIQ POSIITOTII TI’O POSITION III WI/ iOI( IgOU PIOOO IgOUTSOI‘I’ Ifi TOIOITOTI TO TI’O OTIAOT TWO dOTOTIYiIfiOS PIOW OVOYlgOfiO OT TI’iO TObIO IS POTOOIVOO.

bg sitting next to the
first person in the cooperating position, or at his side with the corner of the table between gov, gou're showing the new person that gou and the first person are aligned

From this position gou can
speak and ask questions of the third person on the first person's behalf.

From this position goo can
speak and ask opestions of the third person on the first person's behalf. in sales, this position is called ‘siding with the opposition’.

Placing gourself across a table
from another person sets up a barrier and a hostile, or defensive, atmosphere. . . .

the barrier serves as a
foundation upon which each side can take a firm stand and argue their point

standing directig face to face
with someone else usuailg indicates that a confrontation mag be imminent

in a business scenario, sitting
directtg across the table - from another person implies a competitive atmosphere.

I In an socieu sifvnfion,
however. svch as at at dinner peumg. This posiiion is Viewed posiiivelg beceu/ sei1’ enables eonversniion. " jni j’ ’ C». .-

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r i‘ ‘ :1) ) ‘vx 4. / »‘{I I V t, ” ‘ 2 » i J, Research shows mar managers who don"r use their desks as a barrier are perceived as aciive iisreners. fair—minded, and vniikelig fo show fax/ ouriiism.

:¢ V " CREATINE EU
‘LITY’ ' J. . ” " " : . __ I V’ V o '. 4 _ ', '. “ -g V . I 5 »' . 3'. 1'; .~ . ' ' " : ?"sr~. n. ‘ hall! King Ar’mur's aovnd iabie empowered riis knigwrs winn ea/ ai avrinorirg and sfarvs.

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. Ii"' M0 OM was if! a IZSSW, wearer. OY MOW dominant P031110“ than angone €lSZ.

The circle is considered a
sgmboi of vnirg and sirengih, and siding in a circle promofes this effect

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-- V ' "V ‘ . ‘av. ’ 2-« i *1“ I Allhovgh the model of King Ar’rhor's round fable promofes egualifg, who sits where in relation To the perceived leader denores posllions or srarvs and power.

the people sitting on either
side of the person holding the most power, usuailg hold the next level of power, with the individual on the right of the most powerful person being granted more power than the individual on the left.

the farther awag from the
most powerful individual , the more diminished the power. W’ .

whoever sits directtg across from
the most powerful person is placed in the competitive position and is most likellg to be the one who causes the most trouble.

lf goure seated at a
round table, having a discussion with two other people and gou want to make sure that thegre both involved, begin big ensurin that the three gou sit in a triangular position.

when one person asks gou
a question, look at that person first as gou begin to answer, and then turn gour head towards the third person as gou continue gour answer. Yllll ASKS IIIIESTIUN

carrg on like this, turning
gour head back and forth between the two people as goo complete gour answer.

As gou make gour final
statement, complete gour remarks bg looking at the person who first posed the guestion. Yllll <>

this technique makes both people
feel included and is particularlg useful in helping the second person to connect vinth gou.

An alternative position gou can
take is right across the table. where a triangular position can also be formed ASKS | l|lEST| flN

the wag of keeping the
parties involved is the same as the previous position.

IVVi 4 . 'i~i E.
‘ Hlllll a Researchers at the I W universi of ore on Speech ""’ °’° s determined“/ J that pegple t. ..; ... : can retain up to 3 times . ::: A ti. .. ... ... . more information about . things theg see in their Right visual Field than p . K ’ theg do in their left. .0,” _: .~_.

their studg suggests that gou
are likelg to have a ‘better side’ to gour face when gou are presenting information to others.

their studg suggests that $
gou are likelg to have a ‘better side’ to gour face when gou are presenting information to others. According to this I’ research, gour better side is gour left because W"""' its in the other person's Right visual Field

it is also found that
more business deals are made when a salesperson sits to the customer's than to their right.

3. DATING 8. COURTSH| P
0

Ask ang man who usuallg
makes the first move in courtship and he will invariablg sag that men do.

All studies into courtship. however,
show that women are the initiators 40% of the time.

‘um, i/ len find it
difficult to MAN Vs. WOMAN interpret the more subtte cues in women's bodg language and research shows that men tend to ,0 mistake friendliness and ‘ smiling for sexual interest.

‘INS 13 because men have
I0 T0 10 times more testosterone than women, which makes them see the WOY| d in more sexual terms than women. . H

when theg meet a possible
partner, women send out subtle, but often deceptive, courting signals to see whether he's worth pursuing . ~.

women tend T0 bombard men
with courting rituals in the first ‘ minutes of meeting them.

i/ ten mag misinterpret these
signals and make a 0|VWlSig pass.

9/ g ; .7.‘V)V‘“'i )
71:7‘-5‘ ‘ ,7‘ / - 4;: i ' -»~v i‘ . ../ / this is one reason whg mang women have trouble attracting men — men become confused and wont make an approach

A'AvA THE iittiiiictiiiii PROCESS As
with other animals, human courtship follows a predictable five-step seouence that we all go through hmen we meet an attractive person.

she looks across the room
and spots a man she fancies.

she waits till he notices
her, then holds his gate for about five seconds, and then turns awag. .0 O 0 0 0 0 u 4 .

He now keeps watching her
.4 to see if she it : :ii: i“. 'ii: : if does it again.

A woman needs to deliver
this gate, on average, three times before the average man realizes whats happening

this gaze process can be
repeated several times and is onlg the start of the flirting process. O. .. _VV'J. " ‘ J ‘K. . . -i| TlTllT-u '0 I

l| eX1'. she delivers one
or more fleeting smiles. X; . J» , . .

this is a quick half
smile that is intended to give a prospective man the green light to make an approach.

unfortunatelg, mang men are not
responsive to these signals, leaving the woman feeling that he's not interested in her. -

next thing, her posture straightens,
accentuating her phgsical attributes.

if she's standing, she tiits
her hips and then plags with her hair for up to six seconds — suggesting she is grooming herself for her man. . ,, I i'‘lt: §2:i ;

S Finalig. he got it1.

He'll respond with gestures such
as standing up straight. pulling his stomach in and expanding his chest, _

I Finallg he Q01’ iT!
7 Hell respond WiTh gestures Sl/ Ch as standing up straight. pulling his * stomach in and expanding his chest, ‘ N i E touching his hair and

illléiiil '9'. h : 4%
tucking his thumbs into his belt.

Following that, theg both point
their feet or entire bodies towards each other. fr)

then, he approaches and attempts
to make small talk. using cliches such as, “T':3‘. .’3ll"iI I seen you somewhere before? ” ’ and other well- X. worn lines that are purelg intended to break the ice. O I I . u y l I. ‘ . i 0 D

After warming up, she looks
for an opportunitg to initiate alight touch on the arm, either ‘accidental’ or otherwise. Photo: bod}'languageproject. com

After warming up, she looks
for an opportunitg to initiate alight touch on the arm, either ‘accidental’ or otherwise. A hand touch indicates a higher level of intimacg than a touch on the arm.

each level of touch is
then repeated to check that the person is happg with this level of intimacg and to let them know that the first touch was not accidental

~ x A T _.
,=—; ‘_. ‘ . ‘‘. _A. ‘ . — -“<~*. '.}. ‘As ‘ ‘, . _" . p l - i Y‘ i _ Q1‘ ‘ ‘X. x V‘ _i . xx, _ “$3 ““ ' ~ ’ ‘i'; . ‘; v.“; ’= .'-. .-‘--‘. .*-1' . . is I: L A _ ' Lighttg brushing or touching the shoulder of a man is done to give the impression that the woman cares about his health and appearance.

these first five stages of
courtship mag seem minor or even incidental but theg are critical to starting ang new relationship and are the stages that most people, especiallg men. find difficult.

0 4. BODY PIIINTINE

the direction in which a
person points his bodg or feet is a signal of where he would prefer to be going.

ln ang face—to—face meeting, when
one person has decided to end the conversation or wants to leave, he will turn his bodg or feet to point towards the nearest exit EXIT tsu-

Ml. BODY ANGLES the angle
at which people orient their bodies gives non—verbal clues to their attitudes and relationships.

During friendlg encounters with people,
we stand with our bodies angled at 45' degrees to each other to form an angle of ‘IO degrees to avoid being seen as aggressive.

the formation of the triangle
invites a third person to join in the conversation.

the formation of the triangle
invites a third , lT ‘L T""m‘, P"5°" person to join in the ‘3 0W’¢PT¢d ‘"70 W conversation. QVWP: 0L 30iVm i3 formed and,

the formation of the triangle
invites a third , lT 0“ T0V”l", l’”30“ person to join in the ‘3 “WPW W0 W conversation. eiVWPv (1 Sell/ W ‘3 formed and, . /V and sixth person, ther a 0 new triangles r l formed

in confined spaces like lifts,
crowded buses and underground trains, where its not possible to turn gour bodg awag from strangers to a 45-degree angle. we turn our heads to the angle instead

when two people want intimacg,
their bodg angle chan es from 45 degrees to 0 egrees, that is, theg face each other. _____’ ‘. _____

A woman or man who
wants to monopolise a person's attention uses this position, as well as other courtship gestures, when theg make their plag.

A man will not onlg
point his bodg towards a woman, he also closes the distance between them as he moves into her intimate tone.

To accept his approach, she
need onlg orient her bodg angle to 0 degrees and allow him to enter her space.

A'AvA EXIILDDING DTHERS when two
people take the %'-degree open Position, theg invite a third person to join in the conversation. 0000. ,1 ’/ I Le

If a third person wants
to join two others who are standing in a closed Position, he'll be invited onlg when the other two angle their bodies to form the triangle.

if the third person is
not accepted, the others will hold the closed Position and turn onlg their heads towards him as a sign of recognition.

A conversation between three people
mag begin in the open triangle position but eventuallg two people mag take the closed Position to exclude the third person.

this group formation is a
clear signal to the third person that he should leave the group to avoid embarrassment

mm‘ crossing the knees towards
another sum) my pnmnm; person shows a sign of interest in or acceptance of that person.

l. 5“ - _‘ -
V ' 3 ‘ ' 5 . ~ . I '/ A .3.. - , ‘ 4 '7’ , .— ~—_ _ '-an ‘ ’ ‘Nu . -~. .,, - , i . .. , H" 4 1' T _'_‘ & A‘ “— _ it the otheriiperson also becomes interested, she Will cross knees TOWaYdS the first person.

As the two people become
more involved with each other theg begin to mirror each others movements and gestures.

_‘ P! ’ ’ “
_. slot onlg do the feet serve as pointers indicating the direction in which a person's mind is going, theg also point at people who we find the most interesting, attractive or otherwise.

imagine gou are at a
social function and gou notice a group of three men and one woman. Mt

imagine lg0U are at a
social function and lg0U notice a gY0l/ i) 0t three men and one woman. the conversation seems T0 be dominated big the men, and the woman iSJUST listening.

then gou notice that the
men all have their front foot pointing towards the woman.

WiTh ThiS simple non—verbal cue,
the men are each telling the woman theg're interested in her.

On a subconscious level, she
sees the ‘TO0T gestures and iS likelg T0 stag VnTh the group for as long as she iS receiving ThiS attention.

she's standing with both feet
together (neutral) and could eventuallg point one foot towards the man she finds the most interesting

t_E'i"s RECAP Proxenncs Zone Disiatices
Bunnesslones " lilan lls. Woman " The Attraction Process ~ Eye Contact Smile Prccn Tah Touch '. illllll "lllllllllil

LEARN MORE ON RELATED TOPIC?
CLICK ON ANY OF THE BELOW TO OPEN THE LINK. (NoTE: THE LINKS DoN’T SEEM To WoRK ON MOBILE DEVICES) DECODING BODY nag! BODY LANGUAGE . CEPTIONS

ideas adapted (mainlgi from: EDDY
LAtl(siUA(si£ EODY l’Ai‘l(“UA("‘5 A ; _ ‘ How to Read others’ For Dummiesiég . thoughts bg elizabeth Kuhnke Wt “SW5 sg Allan Pease