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Use Your Super Powers


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A presentation for girls and the mothers or other significant women in their lives.

Published in: Self Improvement
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Use Your Super Powers

  1. 1. Use Your Super Powers! The Ultimate DIY Workshop for Mothers and Daughters Who Want to Change the World Presented by Ann Douglas, Author and Mom of Four
  2. 2. Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary? What superpowers mean in the real world
  3. 3. Daring to be the real you
  4. 4. We're Not Buying It The Biggest Cons of Consumerism • you are what you own • more is better • she who has the most stuff wins • she who has the most stuff gets the most (and the coolest) friends
  5. 5. Having stuff is fun, but having too much stuff only makes you want more stuff....and that can lead to overspending and the desire for more stuff and a lot of unhappiness (to say nothing of bills, bills, bills, and debt, debt, debt, as you grow older).
  6. 6. • And all that stuff eventually ends up in landfill sites, so it's not good for the planet either, which is why people are starting to rethink how much stuff they really need.
  7. 7. Games People Play (Especially People Who Want to Sell You Truckloads of Stuff)
  8. 8. Competition vs. Cooperation
  9. 9. Competition Competition: if I help you, you might get ahead of me, so I'm better off trying to knock you down (criticize how you dress or how your hair looks) to boost myself up.
  10. 10. Cooperation Cooperation: if we all help one another, everybody wins (but the marketers sell less stuff) so it's in their best interests to encourage competition.
  11. 11. The Big $ell
  12. 12. 2004 Study by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund • Only 2 percent of women describe themselves as beautiful. • Only 5 percent feel comfortable describing themselves as pretty. • Only 9 percent feel comfortable describing themselves as attractive.
  13. 13. • 63 percent of women say that women today are expected to be more attractive than women of their mother's generation. • More than two-thirds (68%) of women strongly agree that “the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can't ever achieve.”
  14. 14. • Well over half of all women (57%) strongly agree that “the attributes of female beauty have become very narrowly defined in today's world.”
  15. 15. • Seventy-five percent went on to say that they wish the media did a better job of portraying women of diverse physical attractiveness, including age, shape and size.
  16. 16. • Seventy-seven percent strongly agree that beauty can be achieved through attitude, spirit and other attributes that have nothing to do with physical appearance.
  17. 17. • Eighty-five percent state every woman has something about her that is beautiful. • So why are we wasting all that time and energy looking in the mirror?
  18. 18. The Buck Stops With You • You have the power. Refuse to buy into the media hype that is used to make girls and women feel insecure or like they have to compete with one another—so they feel compelled to buy more stuff.
  19. 19. Team up with girlfriends, sisters, cousins, aunts, mothers, grandmothers, and all the other wonderful women in your life (plus all the boys/men in our lives who "get" it) and speak out against offensive marketing and advertising messages.
  20. 20. • Save your energy for games that make sense, not silly mind games like, “Beauty Industry Snakes and Ladders.” HEY….If you were designing such a board game, where would you place the snakes and the ladders?
  21. 21. • Learn the techniques that activists use when they want to change the world: how to get attention from the media, how to get letters published in the local paper, how to use the Internet as a tool for change (in safe ways).
  22. 22. • Shine the light on the good stuff. • Have a contest. • Give an award. • Deconstruct ads or marketing messages. • Host a media event.
  23. 23. Think of something you could do at home, school, or in your community to get people thinking about a message that matters to you.
  24. 24. Use Your Super Powers
  25. 25. • Your super powers include your creative thinking and problem solving abilities, your friendship skills, the various gifts and talents you have been given, and all the other ingredients that are part of the recipe for you. • Figure out how you can tap into these super powers in powerful and positive ways. • Hint: If you figure out how you can use your super powers to make the world a better place, you’ll find that your self-confidence skyrockets at the same time. You’ll be the superhero starring in your own life.
  26. 26. Set goals for yourself and make sure that these goals are challenging but achievable. Learn how use your skills and strengths in powerful, positive ways—but always in ways that are respectful of the rights of others. Use your powers in truly powerful ways.
  27. 27. Resist the temptation to compare yourself to others—for better or for worse. Remember: you are a one-of-a-kind work of art.
  28. 28. • Learn to move your body in the world in a way that says, "I am lovable and capable and worthy of respect." If this doesn't come naturally to you, you can take all kinds of different classes that will teach you how to move with confidence and grace; strength and power: everything from Yoga to Tai Chi.
  29. 29. • Use your superpowers in ways large and small; visible and invisible. You can make a huge difference when someone else is being bullied, but without becoming a target for bullying yourself. (More about this later on.)
  30. 30. • Know who you are and what you stand for. Know where you're headed and where you’ve been. PROJECT IDEAS: • Start keeping a journal. • Create a timeline for your life (with art, photographs, audio clips, stories). • Keep a journal or write letters to someone (maybe your older or younger self).
  31. 31. • Create a series of trading cards -- perhaps about an issue that you feel strongly about. Trade them with family members and friends. Ask them to create their own trading cards and share them with you. • Create a trading card for yourself. Remember, you are the superhero on your trading card. Stand tall and proud and declare to the world, "This is me!” You can find out more about trading cards by researching Artist Trading Cards (ATCs).
  32. 32. • Learn how to distinguish between helpful advice and feedback; and unhelpful advice and feedback; and terrible advice and feedback from other people.
  33. 33. • Imagine that you have a shred-o-matic in your brain that allows you to get rid of the bad stuff instantly. Let the shred-o-matic work its magic once and for all. You have the power.
  34. 34. • Talk to someone else. • Write down the unhelpful message (dump your brain) and then erase the message. • Figure out how to turn the message around and do something positive instead. • Remove the power from ugly or hurtful words so that they don’t have the power to . Helpful techniques
  35. 35. • Bullying happens far too often, so we need to have tools for dealing with it, both off-line and online. Bully to You
  36. 36. Don't be a bully. • Talk to someone about why you've been bullying others and think of other ways of dealing with the problem.
  37. 37. Don't be a victim. • Walk away (and encouraging your friends to walk away so that the bully loses her audience). • Talk about has been going on. • If you're online, learn how to take a screen shot or to otherwise log the bullying activity so that you have "proof" of the bullying activity.
  38. 38. Don't be a bystander (which is what most people are) • Choose not to be part of the problem. Quietly choosing not to spread a rumor, or telling your friends to join you in not spreading it, may be the most effective way to stop the rumor, just as removing flammable material stops a wildfire from spreading. Source of material on dealing with the bystander: Bullying expert Stan Davis of Stop Bullying Now, quoted in Maine's Best Practices in Bullying and Harassment Prevention: A Guide for Schools and Communities (2006)
  39. 39. • Help the target get away. This can be done from a distance using a real or made-up excuse (“The math teacher wants to see you.”) • Sit with, walk with, or be friends with the target after the bullying is over. Targets of bullying may be chosen by the bully because they have few friends, or they may have few friends as a result of the bullying.
  40. 40. • Ask friends to stop bullying others. Friends are likely to listen to each other. • Tell adults. It is often difficult for adults to find out what happened. • Understand that you even help the bully by telling. Bullies are likely to be in much more serious trouble later if they do not change, so telling on a friend is a way to help that friend.
  41. 41. • Object to "bully culture," like movies and TV shows that make bullying appear funny or cool. Bullying is anything but.
  42. 42. Calling All Moms (and Other Grown-up Girls) Help your daughter (and all the other important young women in your life) to see what makes her unique and to celebrate the unique-nesses of others.
  43. 43. Keep the channels of communication open by responding to anything your daughter tells you with kindness and respect.
  44. 44. Spend time with your daughter. At the same time, encourage your daughter's independence.
  45. 45. Ensure that your expectations of your daughter are age-appropriate.
  46. 46. Show your daughter how to express strong feelings, including anger, in a positive manner.
  47. 47. Respect and validate your daughter's feelings and try to understand the source of those feelings.
  48. 48. Help your daughter to develop a sense of resilience (an ability to weather life's storms) and convey your confidence in her ability to cope with life's challenges.
  49. 49. Model good coping and problem-solving skills and help your daughter to develop these same types of skills.
  50. 50. Ensure that the goals that your daughter sets for herself or that you set with your daughter are age-appropriate, realistic, and based on her interests and abilities.
  51. 51. Celebrate your daughter's achievements, both major and minor.
  52. 52. Treat discipline as an opportunity to help your daughter learn from her mistakes.
  53. 53. Don't be afraid to apologize to your daughter when you make mistakes. It will boost rather than undercut your credibility as a parent.
  54. 54. Ensure that your daughter knows that she is loved no matter what. Your love for her is unconditional. Families are forever.
  55. 55. Project Time