A father, DAVE, a 6ft tall man, 42 years old with brown hairwith patchy grey streaking through it and a daughter, LIV, a13 year old girl with long brown hair, go shopping for her tobuy her some bras, they walk into a posh lingerie shop tobrowse the collection.DAVESo, erm, here we are... whatabout these lovely andcompletely unrevealingthings?DAVE holds up a pair on large granny pants to his daughterpulling a convincing smile. LIV looks at her dad with aserious face long enough for him to put the granny knickersdown and back away.DAVENo, no? okay.. Ill leave youto it, just no sexy items,or lacy things, or stringsDave picks up a collection of thongs and then throws them downand walks to the back of the shop. LIV walks to the brasection and starts to browse at the collection picking up afew items. A group of GIRLS walk into the store laughing andchatting loudly, lIV turns round and realises she knows thegirls so walks over to talkLIVHey girls, whats happening?fancy seeing you hereThere are four other girls in the group who are carrying alarge amount of shopping bags, all rich girls full of fakesmiles. Each girl has a fuller figure than LIV. LIV and herfriends all air kiss as they great each other.GIRL 1Oh hey, oh were just have alittle shopping trip, youshould of come with us.The girl raises her arms up stating the obvious that they werein a lingerie shop. The group of girls all laughed together,LIV joining in. The girls start browsing the selection of
underwear together, picking out sexy bras that are too old forthem with lots of padding.GIRL 2Who are you with anyway?Daddy give you his creditcard for you to go on yourown?The group of girls look shocked and stunned that her dad couldbe that cool,LIVOh erm no.. I urmBefore LIV can finish her sentence her dad comes walking overwalking in a strut pushing his lips together whilst wearing athong over his eye and pretending to wear a bra. He walks overto the group of girls and starts to talk, mimicking the waythe girls talk.DAVEOh hey girls, how you doing,like fancy seeing you here.You think I need the nextsize up?Dave points to the bra hes wearing. LIV looks mortified andfreezes from embarrassment; her friends all burst out laughingand look between LIV and DAVE.GIRL 1wow...The group of friends walk out of the store without LIVlaughing and giggling about what just happenedGIRL 3What on earth was that?GIRL 4
Oh who knows, howembarrassingThe group of girls all laugh together and walk off. LIV staysstood with her dad looking at him in disbelief.DAVEOh come on that was funny,okay Ill buy you some food,happy?LIV says nothing and carries on staring at him in silence,DAVENo? erm a maccies? a new top?an eye patch?DAVE points to the thong located on his head that he has overhis eye to represent an eye patch.LIV picks up her selected underwear and takes them to checkout. Then they both walk back to the car.INT- AN OPEN PLANNED LIVING ROOM WITH STAIRS LEADING DOWN TOTHE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. - NIGHTDAVE and his wife, JEN a 40-year-old woman with short lightbrown curly hair, are sat in the living room discussingprevious the events of the day.DAVECaptain thong man was justtrying to save her from theworld of sassy lingerie, itsnot my fault, I didnt choosethe captain thong man life,the captain thong man lifechose me.A boy, NICK a 14-year-old boy who’s average height with shortbrown hair, knocks on the door. DAVE gets up and startswalking to the door.DAVE
This must be LIV’s fella eh?DAVE opens the door and stares dauntingly at the young boywhile looking him up and down.NICKHi sir, erm is LIV here sir?DAVEHow old are you?NICKErm, fourteen sirDAVESorry no LIV lives hereDAVE shuts the door in the boys face and walks off, JENquickly walks to the door to open it for the young boy.JENI’m so sorry for my husbandsbehaviour please come in NICKThe three people sit in awkward silence waiting for LIV, DAVEstares at NICK from across the room without blinking.LIV then quietly walks down the stairs wearing a red dressthat comes just above her knees that is low cut revealingcleavage with obvious enhancing underwear. Jen turns around togo find LIV then her face drops when she sees her daughter.JENOh my goodness..DAVEHoly..wow what. Hey hunny yougoing to the kitchen causethose chicken fillets ofyours will be perfect to feedthe family.LIV gives a fake smile and laughs at her dads joke.
LIVIm going out, bye.DAVECould we have the chickenfillets first though? Imrather hungryJENLIV, go upstairs, now.DAVEI guess captain thong manwasnt enough. Better thebra-man on the job.LIV looking mortified runs upstairs. JEN walks up the stairsafter LIV leaving DAVE and NICK.DAVESo boy, what do you plan todo with the rest of yourentire life?NICKWell I plan to go to Oxford University andstudy Engineering, Economics and Managementto become a management consultant andfinancial institutions as well as be in themanufacturing industry, sir.DAVE looks at NICK in disbelief and scratches his head tryingto think of a good comeback.DAVEWell I, erm, good luck. Sowhat you doing tonight?NICKCinema’s I think sirDAVE
Horror? So she can lean onyour shoulder and pretend tobe scared? Romantic so youcan wipe her tears off herface and lean in for a kiss?Or comedy so you can laughyour way into a kiss? Ey?NICKI think we’re going to go seethe new Monsters InK actuallyDAVE takes in a deep breath as he walks round the room beingout staged again. LIV and JEN walk down the stairs with LIVnow wearing more casual and appropriate clothes.DAVEAh LIVVY LOO, now that’s muchbetter.DAVE walks over to LIV and gives her a big kiss. LIV pushesher dad away and looks shyly over towards NICK. As NICK andLIV finally start to leave the house DAVE calls after them.DAVESo nine O’Clock right here,I’ll be waiting not a minutelonger, a lot of minutesearlier though, if you wantthat is.NickBye mam, bye sirJENOh please, call me JEN, andcall him DAVEDAVENo no, carry on calling mesir. See you at nine LIVVYLOO LOO.LIV
Bye.LIV pushes NICK towards the door to get out the house as quickas she can.